Hunching her shoulders, she truthfully answered, “I guess she likes to be alone, away from everybody.”
Slowly he nodded his head as if he understood when really he didn’t. “I see.”
Starr frowned bunching her perfectly arched eyebrows together. “No, you don’t.”
Kevin chuckled. He couldn’t put a thing past Starr. “You’re right, I don’t understand.”
Feeling a wave of sadness wash over her, she confessed, “I don’t understand myself Kevin why I’m so nervous about popping up seeing my own mother. I know part of it’s because I’m terrified that she may want to work things out with my dad. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been down this road before. Now that mom has finally got up the courage to serve him with papers, he wants to talk this we’re a family crap again.”
Placing his hand on top of hers, he gently squeezed her hand then brought it to his lips for a tender kiss. “Baby, I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry you and Karen had to go through all of that growing up and still have to deal with it as adults.”
He paused for a second trying to organize his thoughts before he spoke again. He prayed Donna wouldn’t succumb to her husband’s sweet talk and finally kick his sorry butt to the curb. However, he was a realist; there was a possibility that she may allow him back into her life. As much as it would hurt her, he needed Starr to realize this as well.
“Baby, you know you’re mom might decide she wants to try again with your dad.”
Dropping her face into her hands, she moaned, “I know. That’s why I’m so scared.”
Lifting her head up, tears threatening to spill over the lids, she whispered, “I don’t want her to see us coming down here as interfering in her life. I don’t think I could take it if she thinks I’m trying to stand between her and my father.” Wiping away a tear, her voice quivered. “I never told this to anyone but sometimes I think my mother blames me for my dad leaving.”
Kevin maneuvered the car to the side of the scarcely traveled dirt country road. Turning on the hazard signals, he put the vehicle in park and turned off the ignition. Leaning over he curved his hand around the back of Starr’s neck and rested his forehead against hers. Tenderly kissing her lips and massaging the side of her neck with his thumb, he wanted her to understand something. “Baby, don’t do this to yourself. You were an innocent child and there’s no way you could’ve been responsible for the actions of two grown adults. It was your mother’s choice to keep letting a man back into her life time and time again, who did nothing but abuse his family’s love.” Again, he paused carefully selecting his words. “I’m not saying your mom blames you, but if she does, it still doesn’t make it your fault. Baby, you can’t carry that burden. It’s too heavy.” Kissing the tip of her nose, he said, “I won’t let you carry it.”
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she gazed into his eyes. She shivered from what she saw in their dark depths…Love and protection. Not only was this man willing to love her, he was willing to protect her, even from herself. For years, she carried the guilt of having played a role in her parents’ rocky marriage. Many times she thought if she hadn’t been born and Karen remained an only child, things would’ve been different. Perhaps they would have been happy without the pressure of having to raise another child.
Pressing her lips to his, she whispered, “Thank you for loving me.”
“You’re welcome.” He huskily whispered back as he traced the outline of her lips with his tongue, and then gently pried her mouth open. Starr let out a soft moan as he rolled his tongue around the tip of hers and then lovingly suckled it. When his hand traveled up the front of her blouse and squeezed a firm breast, she grabbed his hand pulling it away like a shy teenage virgin girl.
“What’s wrong?”
“They lock you up around these parts for making out on the side of the road.”
Kevin laughed as he started up the car, pulling away from the side of the road. “Let’s get moving then. A brotha can’t afford to get locked up.”
Starr laughed. “I know that’s right.”
Chapter 31
“Starr.” Kevin whispered as he leaned over softly kissing her forehead. He hated to wake her; she had finally drifted off into a restful slumber. This trip was weighing heavier on her than he thought it might. It had been difficult for him to see her so uptight and worried about this visit; about how Donna would receive her. Kevin swore to himself if she said anything out of the way to Starr, he was respectfully going to say his piece. And what he had to say, she wasn’t going to like.
“Hmmm.” The short catnap was just getting good when she heard her name being softly called. A lazy smile touched her lips as she looked at Kevin through heavy lips. Running his finger along the soft curve of her cheek, he returned the smile.
“Wake up sleepy head, we’re here.”
Stretching to loosen up her stiff limbs, Starr looked out the car’s window. The small cottage in the tiny rural Virginia community was the only dwelling for two miles. Donna’s nearest neighbors, the Smithfields, were further down the stretched dirt road. Why in the world does Mommy want to live way out her?
“Come on, baby. Let’s get out.” Kevin needed to stretch, too. Driving for so many hours had just about every muscle in his body stiff and achy. Stepping out the car, he rolled his massive shoulders then reached his hands high above his head. Walking around to the passenger side, he rolled his head from side to side working out the crook in his neck.
“Okay.” Starr murmured, her stomach tied in knots. Here we go.
Pulling open the passenger door Kevin offered his hand. When she hesitated for a second, he reminded her, “Baby, it’s going to be all right. I’m here with you.”
Placing her hand in his, she stepped out the car. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
Surveying the land, the place looked different than it had last spring. Gone were the vibrant flowers, thick emerald shrubs and lush green grass that so beautifully adorned the grounds of the cottage. In their stead were Christmas ornaments. Starr swallowed the lump forming in her throat as she peered at the nativity scene. About three feet from where they stood, the wise men were on their donkeys bearing gifts as a shining star suspended from a two hundred year old oak tree led them to the baby King in the manger.
Fighting to keep the tears from falling, Starr put one unsteady foot in front of the other as she held onto Kevin’s hand. Her mother had always dreamed of recreating the nativity scene, however, could never afford to purchase the expensive props. The scene was absolutely breathtaking. It had her mom’s creative handiwork all over it.
Standing at the front door, Starr bit down on her bottom lip as she looked over her shoulder. Kevin gave her a reassuring nod. Resting his hands on her shoulders, he whispered in her ear, “Baby, I’m right here with you.”
Starr nodded, accepting his assurance. I can do this. Curling her right hand into a fist, she lifted her fist to tap the door. However, before she could knock the door swung open.
Surprise made her eyes go wide as saucers. She had the right house, didn’t she? Had her mother moved and hadn’t told her? Fear seized her as she wondered what had happened to her mother. Oh, No! Did Daddy get her before me? Did she run off with him?
“You must be Starr,” the deep voice stated.
Blinking she was wondering how this mammoth man knew who she was. If he hadn’t had warm, twinkling sky blue eyes, she would have been terrified. His full height had to be well over six feet and his weight at least two hundred fifty pounds. The two long, salt and pepper braided ponytails and thick beard, made him look like a proud card carrying member of Hell’s Angels.
Starr felt Kevin nudging her in her lower back. “Baby, the man is talking to you.”
“Huh? Oh… I’m…I’m sorry. I’m looking for my mother,” she stuttered.
“Honey, who’s at the door?”
“Mommy?” That is my mother isn’t it? What is this man doing here? And why is mommy callin
g him honey?
Biker man stepped aside allowing Donna to step in front of him.
“Mommy,” was all Starr managed to choke out before she burst into tears going into her mother’s outstretched arms.
♥♥♥
Snuggled in Kevin’s arms, on the pull out sofa bed in her mother’s comfy den, she couldn’t believe all that had transpired earlier today. Who would have ever guessed her mother had really moved on with her life? She and Patrick Wahl had been dating for over a year and were ready to get married. The only thing holding them up was her father’s refusal to sign the divorce papers. As usual, he was being a real jerk. He had actually been in contact with Donna and knew of her plans to marry Patrick. Starr was furious when she connected the dots figuring out that that’s why he had come around with his wanting to be a family crap. Donna had moved on, wanted no parts of him and was now finally happy with a man that truly loved her. And her father couldn’t stand it.
It had been so long since she’d seen her mother so happy. Every time Patrick looked at her mom with so much love shining through those sparkling blue eyes of his, she fought to keep tears of happiness from spilling. As hard as she fought, the floodgates came rushing forth when Patrick adamantly let it be known, “That bastard can shuffle his feet all he wants, he’s not getting my woman. I’ll kill him first!”
Donna didn’t know what to do as her youngest child bawled her eyes out. She looked to Kevin for guidance. All he did was hunched his broad shoulders. He hadn’t the slightest idea as to what was wrong with her.
Embarrassed by his outburst, Patrick turned crimson. He hadn’t meant to upset his future stepdaughter. He was still pissed because her idiot father was being a jackass. It had taken him years to find a good woman like Donna. He’d be damned if he let her no good, deadbeat husband waltz back in her life and try to take her away.
“Baby, come with me.” Donna tenderly whispered, taking her child by the hand. Once in her bedroom, she motioned for Starr to sit on the bed. She had kept her relationship with Patrick from her daughters because she wasn’t sure how they would take her being involved with a man like him. She knew the two of them were an odd couple, but she didn’t care. Patrick loved her and made her feel desirable. Something she hadn’t felt in over thirty years.
Clearing her throat, Donna’s voice came out in a nervous tremble. “Sweetie what’s wrong? Why are you upset”?
Taking the box of tissues her mom handed to her from the nightstand, Starr whipped her tears away and then blew her nose.
“Mommy, I’m not upset.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“Oh, mommy these are tears of joy. I’m so glad you finally have a man to love you. I haven’t seen you this happy in a long, long time.”
Donna let out a sigh of relief. She thought her baby was upset because Patrick had lost his temper. “I thought you were upset because of what Patrick said.”
Starr laughed. “Shoot, I’ll help Patrick kill him myself.”
Shaking her head, Donna put on her best, motherly stern face. “Now, Starr Michelle Avery Dawson, that man is still your father.”
Starr dryly drawled out, “Oh joy, joy for me. Please don’t remind me.”
Wrapping her arms around her baby girl, Donna laughed sending the both tumbling backwards on the bed. “I see that mouth of yours is still fresh as ever.”
Laughing, she denied her mother’s accusation. “Uh-uh, Mommy.”
Donna felt so free. Continuing her laughter with her daughter, she nodded, “Uh-huh, Starr.”
After a few seconds, the bubbling laughter faded. Mother and daughter held hands as they lay on their backs staring at the peach color ceiling. Starr enjoyed the comfort of being so close to her mother. She hadn’t felt this close to her mom since she and Karen were little girls and they would pile in bed with her. Hearing their mom crying, they wanted to make her feel better. Although too young to understand why she was so upset, they would crawl into her bed, snuggle real close and tell her, “Mommy please don’t cry. We love you.” She remembered how her mom would wrap an arm around each of them, her crying tapering off to a painful whimper.
Donna rolled on her side and wrapped her arms around Starr. She pulled her close to her like she was a little girl again. A tear rolled down her check as she softly spoke. “This reminds me of how you and Karen used to climb in bed with me when you were little. Not knowing what was going on, but knowing enough to know I needed your love.” Reaching out she gently stroked Starr’s cheek. “I don’t know what I would have done without you and your sister.” It was their love that made her get up every morning to face another day.
“You really mean that Mommy?”
“Of course baby. Why do you ask that?”
Hunching her shoulders against the mattress, she decided I might as well tell her. “I thought you blamed me for Daddy leaving. I believed if I had never been born maybe he wouldn’t have left.”
Starr willingly went as her mother drew her even closer into her embrace. Resting her head against her mother’s bosom, the tears began to flow again.
“Oh baby, you and your sister are the best things your father ever gave me. I would never blame you for what he did. But after a while baby, I just couldn’t take being hurt anymore. As you and Karen grew older and more independent, I withdrew more into myself. By the time you girls were old enough to take care of yourselves, I had to get away from my old life. Baby, I never stopped loving you girls. I was just so angry and bitter I didn’t want how I felt to have an impact on you. Can you understand that?”
Listening intently to every word her mother spoke, years of guilt seeped deep from her soul. Her mother hadn’t blamed her, nor had she abandoned her and Karen. She did what she had to do to survive because she was dying a slow death.
“Yes, I understand.” Pausing for a moment, she wanted to know, “Mommy, are you really happy? I’m mean are you really, really happy?”
Gently she pushed her daughter out of her embrace to look her in the eye. “Baby, I haven’t been this happy in years. Patrick is so good to me and for me.” Searching her daughter’s face she asked, “Does it bother you that he’s white?”
Starr sat up, Donna followed. Grabbing her mom’s hand, she gently squeezed it. “I don’t care if he’s purple, as long as he makes you happy and treats you right.”
“Oh, baby he does all those things and more.” A wide smile spread across Donna’s warm brown face showing off dimples identical to her daughter’s. “Wanna hear how we met?”
“You know I do.” Starr said getting comfortable as she crossed her legs waiting to hear a good story.
Donna giggled. “I see you’re still nosy as ever,” she teased as she began her tale of the great Patrick Wahl.
♥♥♥
“You want a beer?” Patrick offered. He and his houseguest had been sitting alone for quite some time.
“Sure.” Kevin followed him to the kitchen taking a seat at the table as Patrick grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge.
Joining Kevin at the table, Patrick asked, “What do you think they’re talking about in there?”
Twisting the top off the bottle, Kevin replied, “Who knows. They probably have a lot of catching up to do. I’m sure they’ll be out in a little bit.” Chuckling to lighten things up he said, “They better not forget us out here. You know how women are when they get to talking.” Kevin made his hands move like a puppet’s mouth. “Yak, yak, yak, yak.”
Patrick attempted a smile, but failed miserably. “Do you think I upset, Starr?”
The concern in the middle-aged man’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Kevin. He felt bad for the poor guy. “Nah, man I don’t think she’s upset.” Lifting the bottle to his lips, he took a swig. “Probably just got PMS. You know they grow three evil heads during that time of the month.” Kevin chuckled at his own joke.
The older man threw back his head and roared. Pointing his finger at Kevin he warned, “You better not let the women
folk hear you talking like that. I don’t know about that woman of yours, but if she’s anything like her momma, you better watch yourself.” One of the things he loved about Donna was her feistiness when something or someone ruffled her feathers. The first disagreement they had, she out flat made it be known, “In my younger days I took a lot of crap off of people. I’m not the same Donna. I’m not taking anything off of you and nobody else!”
Kevin grinned at his beer-drinking partner. Patrick was cool people. He couldn’t deny, he too, was shocked when Patrick opened the door. He chuckled remembering Starr’s stunned reaction to seeing him towering over her. He was also taken aback by Donna’s good looks. Pictures hadn’t done her justice. The woman was absolutely gorgeous and had the warmth of sunshine. Starr’s pops is an idiot. It was plain to see that any man who captured her heart was blessed.
“You best believe it. My baby can be a firecracker when messed with.”
“Yep, mine too.” Patrick nodded his head in agreement proud of the woman he loved. When he first met Donna, she was withdrawn and leery of him. Initially he’d though it was because of his overwhelming presence. As he pursued her, he learned it had nothing to do with his size or the fact that he was white. It was because he was of the male species.
Several months would go by before she would even consider having coffee with him at the small diner in town. After that, it took him another eight months to convince her that he was romantically interested in her.
“Does Donna squint her eyes and tremble like she’s about to explode from the top of her head when she’s ready to take your head off for something you’ve done?” Kevin’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he asked the question. He was guilty of agitating his beautiful wife just to get a rise out of her. He’d tease and pick until she couldn’t take it anymore. Just as she was about to snap he’d pull her into his arms and kiss her until she was breathless.
When Love Comes Around (Love Conquers All) Page 19