by C. S. Nelson
“Everything hurts,” he sighed. At least he was getting his voice back. “Every time you take a soul, you get filled with so much power. I was so strong for those few moments. Giving it up makes you feel weak, like every organ is failing.”
“Well…thanks, I guess, for giving it back to me,” Annie mumbled.
“We’re just lucky,” Zed continued, “that those two were juveniles. They hadn’t taken any souls yet. If they had, I wouldn’t have been able to fight them off. Not with my broken rib. I needed your soul to give me enough strength to scare them away.”
Annie placed her hand on his grey, bald head. “Thank you, Zed,” she said. He was cold, but sweating. She needed to get him back to the Shield, into a building. He needed his rib to be tended to, but where was she supposed to take him? If he bled a single drop of blood in the hospital, he would be given away, and he would be killed on site. But where else could he get healed? Annie’s only option was to meet Dustan that night, if he remembered to show up in their meeting spot, as he had promised he would help her.
“Help me stand up,” Zed said.
Annie didn’t want to touch him. He seemed so fragile, like if she grabbed him too hard his bones would shatter. She slowly stood up, her legs still shaking, and put her hands under his arms. They both grunted as they hoisted him up, and once again he rested his arm over her shoulder. He was too heavy for Annie’s weak legs to support. “Are you alright?” she asked, trying to prevent her voice from shaking. She didn’t want him to think that this was hard for her.
It took Zed a few moments to respond, and in that silence Annie realized just how much pain he was in. “Yeah. One step at a time.” He winced at his own words.
It took them hours before the Shield was in sight. They took many breaks, Zed needing to sit down and take deep breaths. Annie was doing her best to hide from him how much she needed the breaks too. She was muffling her heavy breathing, which meant she never truly caught her breath. Every time he suggested a break, she immediately lowered him to the ground. She assumed he was in too much pain to even notice her struggling. He wasn’t bleeding anymore, which was a relief for Annie, as the trail of blue blood would have revealed Zed to any human that followed the path.
The sun had set hours before. Annie, numb from the cold, was also numb from the fear of being out in the open. It was dark. If a soul sucker approached them quietly, Annie wouldn’t be able to see them until it was too late. But she was calm. She had died and been brought back to life that day. What was there left to be afraid of?
“Are we…almost there?” Zed barely got the words out after a long couple hours in silence.
Annie glanced at his face, which was hanging down next to her shoulder. His eyes were shut. He coughed a couple times, his forehead wrinkling in pain. His grey skin was paler than she had ever seen it.
“Yes, Zed.” She squeezed his shoulder a little bit, trying to be comforting. “I’m going to need you to change back into your human form. We’re almost at the Shield.” Zed groaned loudly, giving it everything he had, and moments later he was a weak human man, his arms still wrapped around his ribs.
Annie realized, exhausted, that she needed to find a hole in the Shield to pull him through. As they got just meters away from the Shield, Annie lifted Zed off her shoulder and dropped him to the ground as gently as she could. He gurgled in pain. She apologized profusely, but had to leave him.
“I’ll be back,” she whispered. Zed’s eyes had glossed over. She wasn’t even sure if he could hear her anymore. But it would have looked more suspicious for her to carry him around the outside of the Shield instead of bringing the injured boy in.
Annie ran as quickly as she could around the Shield, which being completely drained of energy resulted in nothing more than a slow jog. After running for a couple minutes, she found an area that didn’t shine like the rest of the Shield. A lack of shine that was only obvious if someone really looked for it. It was about 500 meters from where she had dropped Zed. Annie leaned over, her hands on her knees, and gasped for air for a few seconds. Her lungs burned, almost unbearably, as she sucked in the cold air. She only had to carry him this far, she reassured herself. And then he would be inside, where it was safe. It was almost over.
Annie jogged back, trying to control her breathing. She had never been this exhausted before. Zed’s eyes were on her, and she didn’t want him to feel guilty. “Zed, I found a hole.” She smiled, trying to lift him up. His face didn’t change expression at all. His eyes were open but he wasn’t present.
Annie swore as she pulled him by his arm as hard as she could. He didn’t make a noise as she threw his arm over her shoulder, dragging him along next to her. She thought she had been too weak to carry him again before. But she was not going to leave him here. Not when they were so close.
She took wobbly step after wobbly step, focusing only on her breathing. Without the sunlight, she was cold now. But she was thankful for the darkness, because Zed had begun bleeding again since she had picked him up. Anyone that would have been walking around in the Shield would have noticed immediately that Zed was a soul sucker. Finally, they arrived at the hole, and Annie climbed through while still trying to hold him above the ground.
Annie had to lift him up over the edge of the Shield that was still intact. When Zed touched the Shield, his skin began to sizzle and burn. Annie grunted as she pulled him through the hole with all of her might, throwing him to the ground with no more injury than a burn down his leg, which would be the least of his concerns. Annie sat next to him on the ice-cold grass, which she was thankful for. Snow couldn’t get through the Shield, which meant no more numbing or freezing of limbs when she needed to sit and take a break. There was only a small patch of snowflakes that had fallen through the hole in the Shield and they clung to the grass inside. Annie didn’t understand how no one had noticed yet. “Zed,” she whispered, slapping him gently in the face. His eyes were open but glossed over. She felt a brief moment of panic. Was he still breathing?
Annie leaned over him, holding her ear near his mouth. There was a slight exhale, but not enough to relax her. Annie pulled her water bottle out of her belt and held it over his mouth. She had no idea what to do. She didn’t know why he wasn’t responsive, or what the extent of his injuries were. She needed to find Dustan. He would help her. She stood up, stretching out her arms, getting ready to carry him further into town.
“Annie…” Zed mumbled.
“Oh thank God,” Annie fell back to the ground next to him. He blinked a couple times, rubbing his eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Did I fall asleep?” Zed asked.
She leaned back, putting her fingers in the grass, finally able to take a rest. Annie took a deep breath, finally feeling her heart rate slow down. She no longer cared how cold she was. Everything was okay for now. “I don’t know if you can consider it as sleeping when your eyes are open.”
“Shit.” Zed lifted his head off the ground. “I should have told you. It’s our body’s defense system. If we’re in too much pain, lights out.”
“Yeah, that would have been nice to know.” Annie was annoyed for only a moment before her frown turned into a smile. “Idiot.”
“I mean, I had just given up a soul. Which no one does. I guess that does make me an idiot, doesn’t it?”
“Not an idiot so much as a hero,” she said. Zed rolled his eyes and Annie laughed. “So I guess you don’t need medical attention anymore?”
“Oh no, I’m in a great deal of trouble,” Zed tried to push himself off the ground, but didn’t have the energy. “My body released a lot of endorphins while I was asleep. I can’t feel a thing,” He put his hand up his shirt, pulling it back and revealing that he was still bleeding heavily. “Amazing,” he said, looking at his own blood. “I don't feel anything.”
“Have you never been injured before?” Annie asked. She stood up, stretching out her body before having to pick Zed up again.
“Not this badly. We heal pretty qui
ckly compared to humans.” He gestured towards Annie’s arm. The three long gashes had faded quite a bit, but were still obvious. She would have pink, puffy scar tissue on her arm for the rest of her life. Whichever soul sucker had grabbed her had cut her deeply. “But I need a cast or something to stabilize my body, if we want my ribs to heal.”
Annie nodded. “It’s got to be close to midnight. Let’s go meet Dustan. He can help us.”
Zed rolled his eyes again but allowed Annie to help him stand up. “That guy is an asshole,” he said.
Annie laughed as they slowly struggled along again, this time towards the town center where Dustan had promised that he would meet her. “I know he is now. But he wasn’t always.” Zed snorted in response. “There was a time, not too long ago, when he was my favourite person in the world.”
“You humans and your messed up longing to mate for life,” Zed muttered. “That isn’t what you’re built for. You stay in unhappy relationships just because you have this ludicrous view that it’s romantic. Look at your president and Summer. They’re both disgusting human beings, and they probably deserve each other, but neither of them are happy.”
“I don’t think that relationship is for anything more than personal gain from both of them,” Annie responded. “Besides, I’d rather love someone and want to stay with them for the rest of my life, than have the fucked up system we have in this Shield, where we breed together just based on what the president wants the next generation of us to be like.”
Zed snorted. “You stole that from us.”
“What?”
“That’s what our species has been doing since the beginning of time. Selective breeding. Artificial selection. It’s what makes the silver people thrive.”
“You don’t get to choose your partners?”
“Sure, you can love someone. But you aren’t allowed to have any offspring until our leaders tell us who to breed with. That’s just the way it’s done. Jealousy isn’t an issue.”
The whole system, whether with soul suckers or humans, just seemed so immoral and disgusting. Annie would never have wanted to be forced to have sex with somebody. How was it fair that somebody she loved was taken away from her just because another girl’s genes seemed more suitable than her own?
“Have you been forced to…you know, breed?” Annie asked.
“Annie, I’m the lowest rank in my family, remember? I guess in your years, I would be a teenager.” Annie was surprised, but she didn’t know why. She had no frame of reference for the aging process of soul suckers. “I’ve got a long way to go before I’m even considered an adult. Before I earn the responsibility of bearing children…if my genes are even selected, which I doubt. The runt never gets chosen for that responsibility.”
“How old are you?” Annie demanded. “In human years. Don’t give me any of that ‘we view age differently’ bullshit.”
“In human years…” Zed paused. “I guess I would be twenty-five.”
“How old do you live until?”
“Most of my people live until their hundred and twenties.”
Her head was spinning from this new information. Zed was years older than her, yet she was considered responsible enough to be given a gun and told to kill, and he was still a teenager? “Why would your genes not be chosen?”
“I’m the runt of my family. My parents were both the most genetically perfect of their generation. They had twenty-six children, and then our leaders allowed them to retire due to their love for each other. I was the last one. I’m the weakest, and the smallest.” He had said something similar to her earlier. But when he had spoken of it before, he hadn’t referred to himself in such a negative light.
“You don’t look smaller or weaker than any of the other silver people I’ve seen.”
“It’s not about outward appearance, Annie, it’s what our people believe. It doesn’t matter if it’s true. The first born is the strongest, and the last born is the weakest.”
Annie gestured to the blood all over both of them. “What about Tawa. Where was he born?”
“He was third,” Zed sighed. He seemed disinterested in the death of his brother.
“You put up quite a fight. Twenty-sixth place versus third.”
Zed smirked, but said nothing.
They both stopped talking as they neared the town center. Even though it was past curfew, they had no idea if they were going to run into anybody. Annie felt her heart sink as she thought about what she would have to do if somebody spotted them and realized what Zed was. She wasn’t ready to take another life in the same day.
Annie looked at her watch. Almost midnight. If Dustan had kept his promise he would be emerging into the moonlight between the buildings any moment now. They waited patiently for many minutes. Zed was still clutching his ribs, trying to keep his painful whimpers as quiet as possible. The natural numbing of his body must have been dissipating. Annie could see that with every slight movement, Zed was in immense pain.
Her body ached from carrying him around all night. From fighting off a soul sucker. From being on guard for every second, knowing that any person who spotted her would sell her out, and any sucker that saw her would try to take her life. She wasn’t just facing one enemy anymore.
Just when Annie thought she couldn’t take the waiting anymore, Dustan emerged into the open space. He looked tired, as though he had just rolled out of bed to come here. But she had never been happier to see him. In fact, with the dark circles under his eyes, and his hair a wild mess, he had never looked more perfect to her. “Annie?” he whispered, spinning around and looking for her in the darkness. He pulled his coat closer to his body.
Annie stood up from her kneeling position next to Zed, who was slumped against a wall. He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her back. “Don’t go,” he murmured.
Annie sighed. “We need his help, Zed.” She knew that he didn’t like Dustan, but they didn’t exactly have an opportunity to be picky. Zed shook his head.
“No, Annie, something isn’t right.” Annie knelt back down next to him, and realized she felt it too. Dustan didn’t look tired, he looked upset. There weren’t dark circles under his eyes; they were red and puffy as though he had just been crying.
“Annie, are you there?” he whispered again. He looked around for a few more seconds before swearing loudly. “She isn’t here,” he said, this time far louder.
Three breeders came out of three shadowed areas around the open town center. All of them were carrying weapons. “Is it possible she’s just late?” one of them asked.
Dustan pointed to his watch. “It’s almost twenty minutes past midnight. What could be keeping her? It’s not like she’s out with friends. Everyone knows to kill her on site.”
“So what do we do?”
Dustan ran his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know, Ed. I thought this was going to be a lot more painless than it's been. Maybe she’ll show up two nights from now.”
“Yeah, or maybe she’s onto us,” the only female in the group huffed.
“She is a clever bitch.” Ed muttered.
“How would she know?” Dustan rolled his eyes. “Summer didn’t even approach us with this plan until last night. How would Annie have found out about it in between then and now? You’re all paranoid.”
Annie covered her mouth with her hands, because she didn’t trust herself to keep from screaming. Why was Dustan surrounded by people with weapons? Why was he talking about her with them? What had Summer Henderson said? Her head began to spin.
“I heard she has spies everywhere.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Dustan chuckled. “Annie is just a normal girl, that somehow got on the wrong side of Summer. There is nothing intimidating about her. If she isn’t here, she’s got to be somewhere in the Shield. We’re going to find her, and we’re going to bring her head to Summer. Alright?”
None of the other breeders responded. Annie felt Zed put his hand on h
er back, in an attempt to support her. Annie couldn’t take her hand away from her mouth. She wanted to scream; she wanted to cry. She wanted to pull her gun out of its holster and shoot each of them between the eyes. But she couldn’t. She buried her face in her knees and waited for the breeders to stop talking and disperse.
Traitor.
Their relationship had been complicated over the past few months, since they had separated into different careers. But Annie would always have love for Dustan. She had thought that he would have felt the same way. He had been fighting for her affection since they went their separate ways. He had offered to help her when she needed him the most. Had he meant it? Or had he been planning on betraying her the whole time? He felt like a stranger now.
Annie remembered the night that Dustan and she had snuck to the edge of the Shield. He had jumped through, pulled on the grass, breathed in the fresh air. She was too afraid. Annie had remembered them being so close but so far away. He had pulled his hand back through and held hers, jokingly trying to pull her into the Shield with him. She had squealed in excitement, falling backwards in an attempt to stay safe.
Then they lay in the grass, pushing their bare feet against the Shield, their toes sinking into its gelatinous form, exchanging ideas about the future. “When we finally get to Mpho, I want to have one hundred babies with you,” Dustan had said.
Annie snorted in response. “That’s a lot of babies.”
“The world deserves to be filled with half-Annie, half-Dustans running around.”
“Are you sure you want to stick around long enough to have one hundred babies with me?” she had smiled sadly. Annie had been so nervous, so insecure, before the Test. Before she had been forced to become an adult. Looking back, Annie didn’t recognize that person anymore.