“If you had given in to your ex, I’d have had to kill you both, and then coerce an old lover to help me bury your bodies in my back yard. I’m really glad you didn’t let that happen,” Jessica said, blowing him a kiss across the table. “I like what you did do much, much better. Today was extraordinary. I have to admit it was much better without the condom. I haven’t let a man know the real me in years.”
“Damn it, Jessica,” Will said, his face flushing with arousal because he wanted badly to be inside her that way again. “You are certainly not like other women.”
“No, I’m not,” she agreed. “I’ve been telling you that all along.”
Jessica got up from her chair and walked to his. Surprising him, she grabbed the bottom of his ladder-back chair and turned it sideways so she could straddle his lap. Pulling the gauzy shirt over her head and from her body, she let it drop to the floor until she was happily naked from the waist up. “I’m too honest to be like other women, but there are advantages to being with a woman like me. Want to hear me tell you in detail what I want next from you?”
“You have no idea how much,” Will said, cupping her breasts in his hands, closing his eyes with how good it felt.
Okay, Will decided, his hands happily full of the moaning, aroused woman of his dreams. He was done being a regular guy. He just wanted to be Jessica’s guy, whatever the hell that meant. Eyelids drooping, Jessica leaned into his hands, humming with pleasure as he cradled and massaged her breasts. He was infinitely grateful that what he did seemed to please her.
“What do you want?” Will asked in a rough whisper, squeezing firmly until her eyes opened and held his.
“First, I want to fill up the gigantic clawfoot tub that lured me into renting this old creaking house and soak with you until we relax. Then I’m going to wash away the memory of your ex’s hands on you and replace them with a much better version of mine doing wonderful things to get you in the proper mood. Then I’m going to bend over that cast iron tub which is bolted to the floor and let you do what we didn’t get to do today because we were too damn anxious,” Jessica said, putting her hands over Will’s as he massaged. “I’m tired of just thinking about how great it’s going to be.”
“I swear you make me harder than the stone I carve,” Will said, letting go of her breasts and pulling her tightly against him. He reached sideways to the floor and picked up her shirt. “Look—put this back on and let’s finish dinner first. I can wait a little longer. It’s a perk of being my age.”
“Your age? Don’t kid yourself,” Jessica said, sliding off Will’s lap and standing. “You make love with ten times more enthusiasm than any man I’ve ever known of any age. I find myself daydreaming all the time about what you’re going to do me next.”
“Okay, that’s the official limit of my patience. Damn it, Jessica,” Will said, laughing and grabbing her hand. “Being with you is already like being a kid again, and I guess I’m still making up for a year of nothing. Come on, let’s go take that bath. We’ll warm up food later.”
He tugged her along behind him and led her up the stairs to the bathroom.
***
An hour later, with only her knees now submersed in the warm water, Jessica gripped the rounded edges of the cast iron tub to brace herself as Will thrust steadily and firmly from behind her. Her arms began to shake with the effort of holding her body up as she felt the first wave of a devastating climax roll through her.
“Harder,” she demanded, her voice echoing off the bathroom walls. Will laughed roughly, but still responded to the authority in her request, surging against her hips to meet her demand.
“Jessica,” Will said, sliding his hands around her thighs and up the insides of them to cup her. “I can feel you going over. Let go now, baby. Please let go. I need you to—oh God—yes. That’s it.”
Her scream of release bounced around the room and Will shook violently as he found his own release at the same time. He was trapped inside Jessica, held there by the sheer animal force of their joining. It was unquestionably the best sex he had ever experienced, and the pleasure lasted longer than he’d even known was possible for a man. When it was done, he was dizzy.
“Are you okay?” Will asked finally, wrapping himself completely around Jessica from behind, pulling her upright and back against him. He pulled her hair to one side, and lovingly kissed her neck. He palmed a breast with one hand and held her stomach with his other. “I’ve never—my God, I have no words for how much I like what we just did. It was truly a spiritual experience.”
“I’ve certainly never had an orgasm last that long.” Jessica said, relaxing against Will as he held her, her hands on his arms. He made her feel so feminine, so yin to his yang.
“Glad to hear the pleasure was mutual. I was just thinking the same thing myself,” Will said, laughing and vibrating them both. He’d always heard about two people becoming one, but he’d never come close until this moment. “The plus of aging for me has been longer orgasms, but I’ve never had one last a full minute before. I also don’t think I’ve ever felt so physically connected to a woman.”
“Well, I’ve never done this position before,” Jessica confessed. “It takes a lot of trust to turn away from a lover’s face, to trust someone behind you. I was never willing before you. I have to admit you are the most amazing lover I’ve ever had, Will.”
Will tightened his embrace, kissing her neck and leaving his mouth on her skin. “If we’re good together, it’s because I’m in love with you, Jessica Daniels.”
Jessica leaned back in his arms and closed her eyes. “All I can promise you is that I will be faithful until you get tired of me and send me away.”
“Then you’re going to be mine for the rest of your life because I am never sending you away,” Will warned.
Chapter 16
When his mother drove away to go to his brother’s house, Michael Larson was happy to be alone at last. His father was at Jessica’s still and likely wouldn’t be home until late Sunday. That left all Saturday evening and the whole next day for Michael to enjoy the peace and quiet of having his house all to himself. He loved his parents and was glad he was able to help them, but it was damn nice to be alone again even if was just for a couple of days.
In fact, Michael was happy enough not to feel bad for not having a date.
When he was three beers and most of a pizza even happier still, Michael was thinking he’d have an early night. The doorbell ringing jarred him from his relaxation but fortunately didn’t erase it. He looked at the clock, wondering who could possibly be visiting at eight-thirty on a Saturday night.
When he opened the door, he was shocked to see a very ill-looking Carrie Addison standing on his doorstep. It was all he could do not to catch her up in his arms.
“Michael,” she said in greeting. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I didn’t know what to say—so I just decided to come see you instead. Can I come in and talk to you?”
Michael couldn’t help noticing the polite smile on her lips never quite reached her eyes.
“Sure,” Michael said. “You look wiped, Carrie. What’s up?”
“Do you mind if we sit? I’m not feeling well, and standing for too long makes it worse,” she told him.
“Sure. Come on in,” he said. He led her to the kitchen and turned on a light. “Is this okay?”
She sat in a kitchen chair without waiting for an invitation. “I looked up your personal information to get your address in case you’re wondering how I knew where you lived. I normally would never do such a thing, but I needed to contact you outside of working hours.”
“I don’t have a problem with you knowing where I live or with you contacting me outside of business hours,” Michael said dryly, taking a chair across from her. “You look seriously sick. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing that won’t be fixed in a few months,” Carrie said, looking out the darkened patio and seeing the shadow outlines of metal and the tools she guessed Michael used in his w
ork.
She closed her eyes to keep from getting dizzy. The nervous anxiety she felt was making the nausea worse. When she opened her eyes again, it was to see Michael staring at her in concern.
Carrie could imagine this was what Michael had looked like standing outside her bathroom door the morning after while she had sobbed with regret for spending the night with him. A tear escaped one eye and then the other. She watched Michael stand up to come to her, but she shook her head and motioned for him to sit back down. Reaching into the napkin holder on the table, she pulled out a paper napkin and wiped away the tears.
“I’m pregnant,” Carrie said flatly. “And it’s your child. I hadn’t been with anyone for three months before you. There hasn’t been anyone after.”
“But you’re engaged,” Michael said in partial denial, the shock too great to take in. Carrie was having a child? His child? His eyes went to her stomach area, but of course she was as slim as ever.
“I was engaged. I’m not any more,” Carrie said quietly, another tear escaping. “I couldn’t marry one man when I was pregnant with another man’s child. And for the record, I’m not having an abortion. Tom asked, but I said no.”
“Carrie, we used protection every time,” Michael said. “Didn’t we?”
Carrie closed her eyes and nodded. “As far I can remember, yes. I recall we used a condom every time,” she agreed. “Michael, I don’t think you did this to me on purpose. I hope you know I certainly didn’t intend to get this way. As a habit, I stay on birth control and use condoms. Women using my type of prevention usually take months to conceive. I can’t explain how this happened. The test at the doctor’s office was positive and the reality of it is making me very sick. I’m just a little over five weeks along.”
“Can I get you something? Some water or a soda?” Michael asked, needing to stall and give himself a moment or two to absorb the shock that he’d somehow gotten Carrie pregnant.
“Ice water please,” she said softly.
He got up to get a glass from the cabinet and walked to the refrigerator in a trance.
“Look, Michael, I know it might be hard to believe you’ve been the only one for several months, but I hoped you might give me the benefit of the doubt because of our working relationship,” she said seriously. “I wouldn’t lie to you about something this important.”
He brought the ice water back to the table and sat back down across from her. “You can completely stop worrying about that. I believe you.”
Carrie stared at him in shock. “I—I know my behavior after we were together must have seemed insane to you.”
Michael nodded. “It did, but frankly you getting engaged again seemed more insane to me,” he said. “I couldn’t understand what I did so wrong that you wouldn’t even discuss what happened with me.”
“I was already engaged to Tom when were together. Tom and I were not—well, we were—waiting,” she finished lamely. “What I did with you was just truly a moment of weakness on my part. It was that damn piece of art, Anguish. Your art seduced me.”
“Well, I’m glad because nothing else had worked up to then,” Michael said harshly.
He felt chastised for his comment and his tone when Carrie turned her face away from him and two more tears ran down her face.
“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be a smart-ass. Being with you was the most amazing first time I’ve ever had in my life. I haven’t been able to touch another woman since,” Michael said. “What did I do that night that was so horribly wrong?”
She wiped her eyes and lifted her chin, not yet meeting his gaze. Just tell him, she ordered herself. Tell Michael Larson the truth, and tell him why you told him about the baby. You are not going to be able to do this alone.
“I’ll tell you if you still want to know after I ask the question I came here to ask you,” Carrie said quietly.
“Okay,” Michael said, leaning back in his chair. “Ask.”
“I want to know if you want our child to raise, because I don’t want it. I’m not a bad person, but I’ve gone through enough in my life, and I can’t do this. So if you don’t want the baby, you don’t have to give it another thought. I’ll arrange for an adoption and never tell anyone it’s yours. I didn’t even tell Tom who the father was.”
Michael all but knocked his chair over standing up. Carrie didn’t want his child. Hearing it from her was like being struck across the face with a sledge hammer.
He walked to the patio door in a daze and stared out into the darkness. Pressing his forehead to the cool glass of the door, he let himself think of the attraction between Carrie and him. After waiting for several years to be with her, he had been inside her more than out of her for the entirety of the night. The fire between them had burned hot, and Michael still felt that same level of longing for her. If that fire had melted Carrie and him together to create a child, he reasoned, that child was a creation of his every bit as much as any piece of art he’d made with his hands.
Michael raised his forehead from the glass and turned back to the woman sitting quietly in the chair. He had seen her ordering and commanding an army of people in her events business with a precision any military general would appreciate. Tonight, she looked vulnerable and defeated. His heart hurt to realize he and his unwanted child were the cause of her distress.
“Yes. I want our child,” he said firmly, walking back to the table and forcing himself to sit for a third time. “Whatever you need from me, you have it. I’m glad you didn’t get an abortion and marry Tom. I’m glad you looked me up and told me about the pregnancy. As far as I’m concerned, you did all the right things.”
“Are you sure?” Carrie asked him, though she saw the resolution in his face. She just wanted to hear him once more say he would take care of their baby before she laid the rest of her sins at Michael Larson’s feet.
“Let me put it this way. I want any child I created with you under any conditions,” Michael said emphatically. “I don’t have any idea how to make you believe me other than to show you over time.”
“Okay,” Carrie said. Nausea threatened to overwhelm her again, but she pushed it down. “I’m going to believe you.”
“Now tell me what went wrong between us,” Michael demanded quietly, keeping his tone as soft as he could. Whatever it was, he intended to fix it.
Carrie looked at her hands and then back into Michael’s determined gaze. He’s not the careless boy he was, she thought, but it didn’t change the bigger things.
“When I was a sophomore in college, I was crazy about this guy who was a senior. One night I went to a party and ended up in bed with him. We had both been drinking, but I was stupid enough not to care. It was my first time to have sex with anyone. I got up afterward to go to the bathroom. When I came back to the bed we had been using, the boy was already gone. I got dressed and went back to the party where I found him holding one blond on his lap while another clone of her leaned on the arm of his chair. I don’t even think he realized he’d just taken my virginity and discarded me six seconds later. Young women can be stupid and naïve about such things. I was both. It was obvious being with me had meant virtually nothing to him.”
Michael closed his eyes at the amount of pain in her expression. After watching Carrie marry and divorce twice, he was empathetic about how much it hurt to see the person you wanted be with someone else.
“I’m sorry you were hurt. The guy was a jerk for what he did to you, but I was just as careless at his age. I drank and partied pretty hard in college. I eventually got over it, or whatever it is that young men do to finally grow up,” Michael said.
Carrie shook her head. “That’s a great rationalization if you’re a young guy sowing wild oats, and not so great for the young woman who ends up being the field he’s plowing.”
Michael said nothing in response to her comment. At this point, he knew better than to laugh. Instinct told him Carrie wasn’t trying to make a joke. He watched her clear her throat and take in a deep breath befo
re she continued her story.
“A month after I’d been with the boy, I found out I was pregnant with his child. Since I didn’t want the baby of a man who couldn’t tell one woman from the other, I had an abortion and never said anything about it to anyone. I didn’t tell my parents, my sisters, or confess to my minister. You’re the first person I have ever told. Regardless of why the guy behaved as he did, I’ll never be able to forget him or what I did as a result of what happened between us.”
“Carrie,” Michael said, his heart breaking for the pain she had held inside all these years.
It would have been awful to go through that experience alone. Michael reached out a hand to pick up one of hers. It was limp and cold in his, no life to it at all. He felt a sudden need to infuse her with his energy, but Carrie went on talking, giving him no choice but to listen.
“Getting an abortion is a terrible experience, Michael. Since I had genuinely cared about the guy, I was devastated afterward when I realized I had willingly killed a part of both of us. I grieved for months. When I finally came to terms with myself, I vowed I would never have an abortion again, no matter what the circumstances.”
Carried looked at him, held his gaze and saw the concern he felt for her now. There was a flicker inside her, and then she remembered how much pain he had caused her. She pushed the flicker away.
“So here I am in your kitchen trying to keep that promise to myself even though I was careless enough to end up getting pregnant by you for a second time in my life,” she said, watching the horror come into his face.
Michael pulled his hand away from her. “You’re saying it was me? You’re saying I was the guy in college who took your virginity and got your pregnant?”
“Yes,” Carrie said, standing, preparing to run if she needed to. “It was you. It was you back then, and God help me, it’s you again now. I thought in a town the size of Lexington that I would never have to be around you ever again after college, but the universe seemed to have other plans for me.”
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