“Is there any way around remembering or going through all the crying stuff?” Jessica asked.
“No. Not really. If you have a bunch of grieving stored up, you have to let it out. But the big grief eventually passes, and then if you’re lucky, sweet memories linger. There’s no one process that works for everyone,” Dr. Whitmore said kindly. “In the meantime though, I would suggest you limit talking in bed so you won’t accidentally call Will by Nathan’s name. I’ve known that to cause problems.”
Jessica flushed remembering all the times she fussed at Will for talking too much.
“I don’t like to talk anyway,” she said, half laughing. “It messes with my concentration. I don’t like my lovers to talk either.”
Tucking the book under one arm, she stood to leave, and so did Dr. Whitmore.
“Do come back in a month,” Dr. Whitmore entreated. “Let’s move you past this quickly.”
“Sure,” Jessica said, not really intending to visit again. “Sure. I can do that.”
***
Against his better judgment, Will drove by Shane’s and picked up Ellen on the way to the retirement dinner. He really wanted to reach some sort of platonic level of friendship with his ex-wife, but didn’t hold much hope Ellen would meet him on that playing field. He would try for Michael’s and Shane’s sake, but they were his only reasons.
“I really didn’t feel like driving. Thanks for giving me a lift,” Ellen said quietly. “I also didn’t want to spend another evening alone with Shane. The only time that boy ever sits is when he’s drawing. Then a bomb could go off and he wouldn’t notice.”
Will laughed and nodded. “At least he’s learned to focus all that energy on one or two things. I still don’t know how he got through school and did so well. Remember the tutors through Middle School who said he’d never be able to concentrate long enough to learn anything?”
“Remember the High School counselor telling us we would be wasting money if we sent him to college?” Ellen asked, smiling at Will.
“Oh yes. We always knew the counselor was wrong. Michael said Shane’s going to submit his dissertation for review this year,” Will said proudly.
Ellen’s eyes were huge. “Well, why hasn’t Shane said anything to us about it?”
“I don’t think he wants us to know until it’s done. So don’t say anything,” Will said, grinning. “I’m sure he’ll tell us eventually. Actually, I think Michael dared him into finishing his degree. They have a thousand dollar bet riding on it.”
Ellen laughed, leaned her head back, and closed her eyes. “Reckless heathens. Your sons are heathens, but brilliant, handsome ones. Thank you for being a good father, William. I truly am grateful for that and how you stay so involved in their lives. Luke’s daughter barely even talks to him.”
“Well, you always wanted a girl. Maybe you can win her back to the family,” Will said easily. “It can be another chapter in Shane’s book. We’ll be that weird blended family everyone talks about, and we’ll sue Shane for a share of the money he makes during the TV interviews about us.”
Ellen was openly laughing now. “Shane and his damn book. Are we really that awful?”
Will stopped laughing and glanced over at the woman he’d spent most of his life with, but no longer wanted in the same way. “We’re not awful at all. We’re just changing and trying to do it with as much grace as possible.”
“Forcing us to change was my fault,” Ellen said morosely. “I became terribly unhappy with both of us and just couldn’t figure out what to do about it. When I met Luke, he made me happy again for the first time in years. My leaving was never about you, Will. That was just about some restlessness in me. I hope you can believe that.”
“I’d like to believe it. So why the press to get me back? I know you still love your husband,” Will told her sharply.
Ellen looked at her hands. “Yes. I still love Luke and I want him, but he’s not making me happy anymore, either. I feel like his social director more than his wife. Frankly, I was less miserable with you than I am with him now. Luke says he can’t stand seeing me unhappy, but I don’t know how to fix myself. I’m in the same place I was right before we divorced.”
“So let me get this straight—you just wanted me back because I was the lesser of two evils and more tolerant of your miserable personality,” Will summed up, grinning.
Ellen sighed and shook her head. “It’s not as bad as you’re making it sound.”
“It’s not good either,” Will declared, laughing. “I don’t want to be your back-up plan, Ellen. Have you told Luke how you feel? Maybe he might have some ideas about how to make you happy.”
Ellen nodded. “He’s logical, but not in the same way I am. He didn’t even get mad at me when I told him I was unhappy in our marriage. He just withdrew, and now we’re hardly talking. He wouldn’t come with me tonight. I’m guessing I’ll be getting divorce papers from him shortly. Legal speed is a side benefit of marrying a lawyer.”
Will sighed in sympathy but firmed his tone to make sure Ellen knew he was serious. “Well, I’m sorry about the problems between you and Luke, but you need to get your shit straight about men.”
She shrugged. “I know. I brought this on myself. Maybe I’ll move in with Michael and his new bride after the baby comes. I can be a live-in grandmother. That will give me something to do.”
Will roared with laughter. “You’re going to want to steer clear of that couple unless they beg for help. I’m getting my own place in a couple of weeks because Michael’s house is going to be an emotional war zone for a while. They have a lot to work through.”
Ellen laughed. “I know you’re right. Michael and his stubbornness are not easy to live with anyway. So what do you think I should do then? Retirement is boring. Luke’s career gave me a hobby at least. Without him, I have nothing to do.”
“You have your Master’s Degree. Go back to teaching. Teach at the college level this time. It will be a whole new group of friends too,” Will suggested.
“I guess that would be better than doing nothing,” Ellen said, sighing. “I can’t believe you’re happier now.”
“I took my time and waited for the right person to come along. That’s part of it,” Will told her. “The other thing is that I have always had my art. I know you don’t get it, but it’s the most important thing I do with my time. When I see a finished piece, it satisfies me in a way nothing else can.”
“I don’t remember you being so difficult to satisfy when we were married. I know I’m better in bed than she is,” Ellen said, trying a bit of flirting.
“There’s a lot I’m not going to say to you, but just know I’ve gone to a whole new level with my expectations,” Will warned. “Jessica exceeds everything I thought I wanted after I got over you.”
Ellen reached over and patted his hand. “Don’t worry. I won’t put any more moves on you, but I will tell you that if I get divorced, you can come back to me anytime you want.”
“Better put all your energy into saving your marriage with Luke. You’ll have a better chance of being happy,” Will advised, pulling into the parking lot of Art’s Place downtown. “I’m planning to marry Jessica Daniels as soon as she agrees.”
“Well good luck with that one,” Ellen said, climbing from the car. “I think she only ever married the first guy.”
“That’s a truth, but I intend to be the last man in her life whether she marries me or not,” Will said, holding the door open while Ellen walked inside.
***
“So where is this guy you wanted me to check out,” Jessica asked her teacher friend, Susan Rafferty. “I need to look quickly and go. The guy I’m dating is not going to like me scoping out future men to date when he’s not around. I’m feeling guilty already.”
“Guilty? You—the queen of no regrets? Well relax, this is not a bar and you’re not picking anyone up,” Susan told her laughing. “I won’t even introduce you unless you want me to. I just wanted you to see him.�
��
Jessica sipped her coke and studied her knee length black dress and sedate pumps, both left-over from her Jack the Jerk days. Dating him was probably the last time she bought formal clothes. Wearing the bland formal clothing always depressed her, but it was such high quality that she saved it for school events. She couldn’t wait to get home and back into her jeans.
“Oh damn,” Susan said in a whisper. “He looks great, but he came in with his ex-wife. Now I’m sorry I even talked you into coming.”
Jessica turned and her gaze went immediately to the door, where she saw Will ushering Ellen inside. At first, all she could think was how silly Will looked in a hat. Then the truth of what she was seeing hit her with the impact of a semi-truck colliding with a compact car.
“Who—Which guy are you talking about?” Jessica said, fighting to keep the tremble from her voice.
Susan sighed. “The guy in the silly hat is the one I wanted you to see. His name is William Larson. He’s an absolute doll, one of the nicest men that ever walked the earth. He was the principal at my school for years. His wife left him for a younger man, but I hadn’t heard they had gotten back together. The woman was always a pill. I hope you believe I’m truly surprised.”
Jessica swallowed hard. “Sure, even people you think you know well can surprise you sometimes,” she said, anger at the situation finally kicking in and overwhelming the hurt. “Why don’t you introduce me anyway? Let’s liven up the evening and give Larson’s ex-wife something to think about.”
“Are you serious?” Susan asked, her eyes widening. “Does Larson look that interesting to you?”
“Yes. He does. In fact, I’ve never been more interested in a man in my life,” Jessica said, the irony of her words making her tone far more enthusiastic than she was feeling.
“Well, let’s do it then,” Susan said on a laugh. “I was trying to pay you back for introducing me to Steve by finding you an equally great guy. Little miss ex-wife better look out if Jessica Daniels is interested in her man.”
“You and Steve are both sweeties, and I couldn’t be happier,” Jessica said sincerely, putting her plans for murder and mayhem on the back burner for a moment. “Some of us have a lot harder time finding a good man.”
“You had Steve once,” Susan reminded her, though she knew that was over long before Steve landed in her life and took over her heart.
Jessica sipped her coke. “No. I never really had Steve. I dated Steve, but we never connected on the super important levels. What you two have is the way it’s supposed to work.”
“So you think you’re going to connect with William Larson?” Susan asked, looking across the room at the giant man who didn’t seem very interested in anyone this evening.
“I can guarantee it,” Jessica stated emphatically.
Susan laughed and thought for the millionth time since she’d known her that Jessica was the bravest, boldest woman she had ever met in her life.
“Well, let’s do this then,” she said brightly, taking Jessica’s arm and leading her across the room.
***
Luke Cannon had been walking around the crowd looking for his wife when he spotted her coming through the door with her ex-husband’s hand at her back. He had missed his wife and had wrongly assumed she would miss him too much to stay away this long.
Maybe he should have just agreed to come with her tonight, he decided, but it never occurred to him she’d hook up with Will if he didn’t. Coming here with Will was probably just to spite him, but still it stung his pride. His wife’s lingering admiration for her ex was one of many sore points in their marriage that still needed to be worked out, even though Luke had never doubted Ellen’s love for him.
Seeing them getting along bothered the hell out of him, but it was just jealousy. Or at least Luke hoped it was.
Ellen and her ex couldn’t be getting back together. He refused to believe it. Larson lost her, Luke thought bitterly, and the man needed to accept the fact.
Once he and Ellen were back together, Luke was going to make damn sure she never spent another night away from him—starting with tonight.
***
Will was talking to a group of people he hadn’t seen in years and so absorbed in the conversation that he didn’t see the additional two women step up to his side. From the corner of his eye, Will did finally recognize Susan Rafferty, a teacher from his school, when she placed a soft hand on his sleeve.
“Will? I’d like you to meet a friend of mine. Jessica, this is William Larson. Will, this is my friend Jessica Daniels. She teaches art at Henry Clay High School,” Susan finished and drew Jessica forward.
Will froze in shock as he met Jessica’s accusing, furious glare.
“Mr. Larson. How very interesting to meet you. You look remarkably like the man I’ve been dating for two months. You wouldn’t have an evil twin would you?” Jessica said, her tone daring him to lie to her in front of witnesses.
Will was trying to think of what to say when Ellen slipped an arm around his waist from the back and stepped to the other side of him.
Ellen started to tell Will someone was looking for him when her eyes raised to the tall redhead dressed in formal black who was currently glaring down at her like she was a bug that needed squashing.
“Either take your hands off Will or get your ass kicked in public,” Jessica told Ellen, smiling as the woman took two steps away.
Everyone who had been talking to Will bit their lips to keep from laughing, but they still slipped away discreetly. Probably to get a better view of the whole drama from a safe distance, Jessica thought meanly, wishing she could bite out her tongue for what she had said to Ellen and how totally possessive it had sounded.
Then Jessica felt a firm hand on her arm and turned to see a well-dressed, handsome man looking kindly into her eyes. He rubbed her arm in a friendly manner and walked around her.
“If you kick Ellen’s ass that would be assault, and I’m afraid I would have to sue. She’s not always the nicest person, but I can’t really let you physically harm my wife,” Luke said, walking to his wife’s side.
Ellen stared up at her husband in shock and looked to Will, who still hadn’t said a word. She looked at Jessica, and then back at Luke.
“This is not what you’re thinking, either of you. Will and I are not here together. I swear, he just gave me a ride,” Ellen said.
“Oh, I have no trouble at all believing Will gave you a ride,” Jessica said, snorting.
“Now look,” Will said, finally finding his voice and glaring back at Jessica for the insinuation. “You know damn well that’s not what Ellen meant. She’s not my date. We just drove here together. Trust me.”
“Trust you? You mean, I should just believe you because you’re such an honest guy, Mr. William Larson? Do you have any other aliases you’re hiding from me?” Jessica asked sardonically, crossing her arms.
“I didn’t mean to not tell you about being a principal. It just was one of those weird things,” Will said. “It seemed so much less important than everything else that was going on.”
“Sure it did. I mean I’ve been keeping all kinds of things from my life secret from you. By the way, my friend Susan is Steve Lipton’s fiancée. She brought me here specifically to meet you. If she had said your damn name before I got here, I’d already be shopping for the next guy I intend to date.”
“Wait. You mean you already know Will?” Susan asked, confused—and alarmed at the fury and pain showing in her friend’s face.
Ignoring everyone else around them, Jessica contemplated Will with a combination of disgust and disappointment. “No. I don’t know Will. I know a man named Everett Williams. Or at least I thought I did, but sleeping with someone really doesn’t give you any insights into who they really are. Two months and this man never even told me his real name. Of course, you’d think I’d have figured it out when I met his son, Michael William Larson. I just never thought to ask the obvious question because I was told over and ov
er and over how much Will hates lying. I just figured the children had taken their mother’s name or some other strange thing.”
“Look, maybe we could just go somewhere more private so I can explain. I swear I never meant to not tell you,” Will pleaded. “This is not a big deal. I just wanted you to know about my art first.”
“Right, and that worked out so well for us. Remember the fight in Berea, Will? Using that same reasoning, I guess from your standpoint me seeing you walk into a place I didn’t know you would be with your hand on ex-wife’s back is also no big deal, right?” Jessica asked.
“I admit it looks strange,” Will said quietly. “But it’s not what you’re thinking.”
“You never even mentioned your plans to me tonight or that you intended to bring your ex as your date. I told you I had a school function,” Jessica said, uncrossing her arms and sighing. “You told me nothing.”
“I didn’t want to get into it until I could explain why I never told you,” Will said, but his defense sounded weak even to his own ears. “And I didn’t bring Ellen as my date. I just gave her a ride.” At her furious glare, Will blushed. “Damn it Jessica, you know what I mean.”
Tired of looking at Will’s guilty expression, Jessica looked over at Luke Cannon, and then at Ellen who stared blankly at all of them, still showing no signs of remorse. The need to even the score with the woman was suddenly just too much to fight. No one would ever have accused Jessica of being noble, because she wasn’t. Twice now the woman had made a fool of her with Will, but there was not going to be a third.
“Maybe next time you make a move on Will, you’ll get the response you wanted from him last weekend. You win, Ellen. I give up. You can have Will back now. I’m done with him.”
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