by Lilly Mance
“I have to skip today,” I said, causing a set of frowns on everyone's faces.
“Oh, c'mon,” Maya spouted, and scowled. Helen looked at me suspiciously.
“You're hiding something,” Helen said, eying me.
“Not what you're thinking. Look, I met a girl that has the same problem I do,” I raised both eyebrows hoping they would catch the drift without me saying it aloud.
“You mean your Zack issue?” Helen inclined her head, giving me the eye. Guys nudged their heads forward. Hearing a guy's name in a sentence directed toward me caught their interest.
“Yes. She's right over there,” I nudged my head toward Sophie's table. “I don't know when I'll get another chance to talk to her, so I have to do it now.”
“K,” Maya said. “But you owe us details later.”
“Who's Zack?” Brad chipped in.
“Her stalker,” Helen said, and I goggled my eyes, hissing “you didn't” at her between my teeth. She shrugged, and smiled. Brad's mouth fell open.
“Yeah, I have a guy on my back that won't go away,” I said to buffer the damage. Maya snickered. “That's his ex and I want to hear how she got rid of him.” That was enough to put a lid on Brad's curiosity.
Excusing myself, I got up and went to join Sophie and Zack, picking up a glass of coke on my way over there. I sat across Sophie, and pushed the coke down the table to Zack.
“Thanks,” he muttered, confused by my gesture. I wondered if it was indeed invisible now that he had it. Both Sophie and I could still see it.
As if she could read my mind, Sophie said, “Is it really invisible now?”
I shrugged. “Zack believes so,” I giggled, and looked at Zack. He didn't seem to be worried it wasn't.
“That guy over there is looking our way,” he nudged his head forward, and just like kids, both of us looked in that direction. Our sudden attention made the man bow his gaze, embarrassed.
Sophie giggled, “What about him?”
“Would he look like that if there was a glass of coke floating here?” His brows shot up, paving a way for a smug grin.
“Oh,” I chuckled.
“Cool,” Sophie grinned widely. “So, how long have you been together?” She said, taking a gulp of her tangerine.
“Together?” I sputtered. She didn't mean...did she? Zack and I exchanged confused looks.
“Yeah. I knew you were a couple as soon as you walked into my room,” she giggled.
“Oh, we're not—” I said, hearing Zack protesting at the same time.
“Oh, please,” she sneered. “Give me some credit!”
“No, we're really not,” I felt embarrassed. Sure, I wanted to be his...whatever. But... I glanced at Zack; he was fiddling with his glass.
“Well, you should be,” she spouted, and I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. At the corner of my eye, I thought I saw the slightest of nods on Zack's behalf, but it couldn't have been. “It's written all over you,” Sophie cracked a smile.
“What is?” Zack asked, downing the last of his coke.
“Attraction!”
I felt my cheeks burn. I heard Zack grunt, but the buzzing in my ears prevented me from hearing what.
“You two are ridiculous,” Sophie snorted, “But I'm glad you came into my life. How can I ever repay you?”
“Nah,” I waved my hand.
“It was the least we could—” Zack stopped without finishing his sentence. His face turned pale, and his lower lip trembled.
“Zack?” I called out. He didn't respond. He gripped the table with his both hands, and pressed his lips hard, turning them pale, as well.
“Is he okay?” Sophie looked at me for an answer. I shrugged, and placed my hand on his shoulder. That broke his trance, and he looked at me. The pain behind his glance ripped my insides apart. Something bad was going on.
“Zack, what's wrong?” I shook his shoulder to get his attention.
“I just remembered my birthday,” he uttered, absently.
“A birthday? As in horror birthday party?” I asked, forcing a smile.
“No,” he swallowed hard, and the pain in his eyes turned into confusion. “A date.”
“And that's a bad thing?” Sophie asked, cautiously.
Still holding my gaze, Zack's lips trembled before he said, “August, 2091.”
“What?!” I shrieked. He had to be joking. “That can't be true,” I said, suddenly feeling queasy. “1991, maybe?”
Zack grabbed my face between his palms, staring closely into my eyes, then said, “Lyra, it's 2091.”
“But...NO! That's not possible,” the pain building up inside of me stopped me from rumbling further. I placed my palms over his that were still cradling my face, and fought the urge to cry. Seeing my emotions mirrored in his eyes as well, made it that much harder. Tears burned my throat.
“Pff,” Sophie sputtered. “You're wasting precious time.” Her comment jerked our heads toward her. “Look at you!” We jerked our heads back, gazing at one another. “You can't deny what just happened there,” she motioned between us with her finger, and chuckled.
“2091, Sophie,” I stressed out the year.
“I heard him,” she smirked. “There's nothing you can do about that, but you can make the most of his time here.”
Hearing her words intensified my pain. As if sucker punched to the chest, I gasped for air. That couldn't be true. I wanted to scream. His time here kept repeating in my head over and over, like a malevolent echo.
“Zack,” I turned to him. His eyes watered, and he lowered his glance. “It could be false memory,” that came out more as a question than a statement.
He shook his head, “Unfortunately, not. Some other fragments came back. Remember when I told you that none of the earlier ones matched anything from around here?” Defeated, I nodded once, feeling the ground dissipate under my feet. “Well, that's because I am from the future,” his voice cracked, and he took my hand in his. “The new ones fit with the old ones. Now it all makes sense.”
“I'm so sorry, guys,” Sophie said, her glance matching her words.
“But, how did you end up in 2013?” I asked Zack, squeezing his hand.
“I've no idea,” he resigned.
“You said before,” I said to Sophie, “That their last memory is their destination,” she nodded. “How could he have known me in the future?”
“Beats me,” she shrugged. “Maybe he found a picture of you in an old building, and then a ceiling collapsed on top of him, or something.” My world came crashing down like a ceiling in Sophie’s statement, and then Sophie pushed the knife deeper. “I have to warn you, Zack,” he flinched toward her. “If you start feeling a pull in your lower back, a kind of thug,” Zack's eyes widened, “It's your body pulling you back.”
Zack inhaled sharply, and I couldn't take it anymore. I covered my face to hide tears, and rushed outside. I needed air. I needed to wake up from that nightmare. Zack came straight after me, but I ran away from him. One more look into his eyes, and I would have broken down in front of him. The pain was tearing me apart, and the more it hurt, the more I pushed my body to run faster. There was only one thing on my mind—to reach that bench in the park, the one that made it all okay, the one where life with Zack seemed possible. As soon as I reached the bench, I collapsed on it, and started crying hard. Sobs burst out of me in terrible packs, releasing everything that had been piling up inside.
“I knew I'd find you here,” Zack said, temporarily bringing my sobs to a halt. He sat down, and scooped me up into his lap. Curled up, I placed my head on his shoulder, quietly sobbing. Tenderly, he wiped the tears from my face with his thumb, and removed strands of hair dampened by tears from my eyes.
“I wish I'd known you felt the same,” he said, gazing absently toward the trees, and gently stroking my hair. I jumped up in his lap, and stared into his eyes, confused.
“The same?” I breathed.
His eyes left the trees, and latc
hed onto mine. He nodded, then placed his hand on the nape of my neck, and pulled my head closer to his, stopping an inch away from his lips. Looking deep into my eyes, his pupils widened, and he drew in a deep breath. I felt something inside me jolt. Slowly, he closed the gap between us, and connected his lips with mine, igniting every cell in my body. The softness of his lips against mine stirred feelings I didn’t know existed. He parted his lips slightly, allowing mine to slip between his. He groaned, and pressed harder on my lips, while placing both palms on my cheeks. A moment later, he broke off to glance at me, panting like mad, my breathing matching his.
The need took over, and he dived into my mouth again, entwining his soft tongue with mine. The hunger in me became insatiable. I wanted this fire in him to consume the whole of me. As he explored every bit of my mouth, his hands and body revealed wanting, desire, lust, and pain—all of which were present in me. I wished we were back in my room, and not in the park, because I didn't want him to ever stop. I wanted to crawl into him and become one.
We kissed until our faces hurt, and couldn't keep up with our desire, and then I curled up around him, afraid of losing him if I let go. Resting my head on his shoulder, I remembered how much I wanted to kiss his neck the first time we were in the park. I moved in closer to indulge that desire, and placed a soft kiss just under his ear, then another one closer to his jaw. He let out a moan that propelled me back into sweet oblivion.
“Uhh, I wanted this so bad,” he said hoarsely, and dived back into my mouth with the same hunger as before, turning my insides into feverish frenzy, yearning for more.
The sun set behind the trees, allowing darkness to descend upon us. His eyes glittered in the darkness, and I wondered if it was the tears or streetlight. I became painfully aware that eventually we had to break our hug, and face the reality. Pain gripped my gut again, and I snuggled closer, hoping that if I held on, he would stay forever.
“This is plain cruel,” he hissed after a while.
“What is?” I cocked my head in confusion.
“This! You and me,” seeing confusion lingering on my face, he continued. “Why would someone make this possible, and then take it away?”
“I don't know,” I cringed, and suppressed an urge to cry again. “Life usually isn't very fair.”
“There must be a way!” Determination flashed in his eyes.
“I doubt it. We don't get our happy ever after,” I caressed his cheek.
“Don't say that!” He caught my hand on his face, desperation coloring his voice. He pressed my head against his chest, then squeezed the rest of me so tight. “How can I live somewhere else after feeling this way?”
Looking up, I said, “Maybe you won't remember,” my throat clenched at that thought. He looked at me shocked, and hurt.
“There's no way I could ever forget you,” gently, he traced my cheekbone with his fingers. “You mean too much to me.”
“I certainly won't forget you,” my eyes watered. Defiantly, I wiped off a tear. He was right, this was cruel torture. “Zack?”
“Mhm.”
“How did we get here?” I asked.
“You ran away, and I knew where to find you,” he chuckled.
“No. I mean to caring so much in such a short time?”
“Don't know. But believe me, I’m there,” he chuckled again.
I raised my head and kissed him. There were no words I could say that would convey what I felt. I hoped my kiss would show him all I wanted. Desperation that colored his voice earlier now was reflected in his kiss, savoring every bit of me. After we parted lips, he stared into my eyes, and kissed my forehead. It was time to go home.
Leaving him on the bus was the hardest thing I had to do. My heart sank more with every step I took toward my house. There had to be a solution, or I would die. There was no way my heart could handle losing him, and not shatter into pieces.
~*~
Chapter #10
First thing in the morning, I decided to give Sophie a ring. I felt bad about running off like that, and hoped she wasn't mad about being left behind. Good thing that Zack was always a step ahead, keeping his wits together, so he took her number. Twirling a piece of pinkish paper with her number on it, I dialed. The phone rang three times.
“Hello?” Sophie answered.
“Sophie, it's Lyra,” I breathed, expecting her to hang up or something.
“Lyra!” She said, excitedly. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I suppose. Listen. I'm so sorry for the way I behaved yesterday.”
Sophie chuckled, “Don't worry about it. I totally understand.”
“Thank you,” I was relieved. “Will you come by today? Things are slow around ten and we could talk—”
“Sure. I want to slap you silly, anyway,” she chuckled again.
I chuckled as well, “You get one slap, and then we talk.”
~*~
Time flew by and I didn't realize it was ten already. My mind was consumed by thoughts about Zack, so I didn't see Sophie come in. She sneaked up behind my back, and slapped my behind, giggling. I winced, and turned around, then hugged her. She was the only one that could understand my position, and that brought up all those feelings of sorrow and despair back to the surface. I squeezed her tight, and my eyes watered. Maybe too tight, because she said:
“Girl's gotta breathe.”
I let her go, and sniffled. “Sorry,” I smiled, apologetically. Sophie giggled, and I saw understanding behind those round blue eyes. I motioned for her to follow me to a table.
“You're gonna kill me probably,” Sophie said, sitting down. My eyes widened. What could she have done that was worse than my Zack situation?
“Try me,” I said, blandly.
“My shrink got really interested in this thing,” Sophie said slowly, as if she was testing the ground. I nodded to keep her going toward the killing part. “We talked a lot that day you rescued me,” she started fiddling with her curl. “These past two days, we talked for hours, and I kind of spilled the beans.” She bit her lip, waiting for my reaction.
“What do you mean by that?” I cocked my head, waiting for the catch.
“She knows about you,” sheepishly, she squeezed out.
“Oh, no! No, no, no,” my head was spinning. “Why did you do that?! I could get locked up,” my voice broke. That was my nightmare. Nobody knew till Zack showed up, and now I was exposed against my will.
“It's not a bad thing. She wants to help,” Sophie placed her palms over mine on the table.
“How isn't it bad? We know nothing about her agenda. I don't want to be a guinea pig!” I felt rage stream through my veins.
“You won't be a guinea pig,” Sophie smiled.
“I grew up surrounded by doctors. I know how they think. They cannot be trusted,” I dropped my glance, feeling defeated.
“She has her own baggage, and that makes her different,” Sophie nudged my hand, and I picked up my glance. She seemed convinced at what she was saying. “She has a friend. A theoretical physicist that has been researching coma and nature of reality that might have some info for us.”
That sprung hope, “How?”
“Well, she said it would help her in her field, and he could benefit from what we know. In exchange, he would share his knowledge with us. She said something about their peers not understanding, and need for secrecy, so nobody would know. “ She had a hopeful expression.
“Zack will go crazy when he hears that,” I sputtered.
“Eh, about that... Did you finally acknowledge the truth?” She grinned. I felt my cheeks warm up.
“Yes,” I bowed my glance, feeling tingling in my stomach.
“Great! I'm so happy for you,” her face lit up.
“I would be too, if he wasn't from the future,” pain gripped my stomach. “We don't stand a chance.”
“Maybe you do. My shrink said her physicist already knew some stuff that I told her, so he might know something that would help us keep him.”
“Soph, please, don't raise hope in me. I won't be able to handle disappointment,” but it was already too late. My heart fluttered.
“Where is Zack?” Sophie looked around Mario's.
“I don't know. Not here, anyway,” I smiled, remembering waking up in his arms the other day.
“I'll have to go soon. You'll get him to agree?”
“I'll try, but he's a handful,” I shrugged.
“You've no idea how glad I am to have met you,” Sophie smiled widely.
“So am I,” I returned the smile. “I've been so lonely.”
“That's why I felt good with all those wackos in the hospital. At least in the beginning. Here in normal-land, nobody understood me, and in there, everyone had their own twisted world. That kind of connected us for a while,” she splashed a faint smile, “until I realized they were locked inside their insanity, and didn't understand shit.” We both chuckled.
“I get that. I told two of my friends, but they couldn't possibly know what it's like no matter how much I tried to explain. It was only a brief satisfaction. But one moment with you, and I didn't need words to explain.”
“Exactly!”
“That's why it's so hard to think about Zack leaving,” moisture gathered in my eyes.
“Among other things,” Sophie raised her brows a couple of times, hinting his good looks.
“No, really,” I said. “I could probably find good looking guys, that are smart and nice, but none of them could ever understand my world like Zack. Or share it—” I trailed off, and so did Sophie. Then, after awhile, she said:
“I know, Lyra,” and pursed her lips, “I'm not the one to say otherwise. I never felt I could make a relationship work with all my baggage. But now I have hope. Maybe there are others like us out there.”
“I don't want others!”
“Not at the moment. But you might. I know you don't want to hear this, but people get over losing their loved ones, and move on,” she placed her hand over mine in comfort.
“I know that, but do we have to bury him already?”
“No. I don't want you to end up locked up like I did, just because you couldn't cope,” her worried expression urged me to nod although I didn't want to. “Once you end up in there, it's over.”