She nodded. “How’s Clay?” she asked, wringing her hands together and looking so young. Was she old enough to handle what they wanted from her? Only twenty-three, still a baby, but then she’d always been more mature than her years.
“He’s as good as can be expected, baby girl. If you’re feeling all right tomorrow, I’ll take you to see him.”
“I’m fine,” she insisted, ruining her protest with a cough.
“Hmm,” he said, not committing to anything. “Well, why don’t I run you a bath while we get your stuff in? Then you can have some dinner.”
With a tired nod, Lila followed him upstairs. He ran a bath for her, while Trace and Colin brought her gear inside. Gavin looked at the two bags with a frown.
“You left some of her stuff there?” he asked his brothers as they met for a drink in the living room, leaving her to soak in the bathtub.
Trace shook his head with a sigh as he sat back in a plush armchair. Colin slouched on the couch, a beer in his hand.
“Nope,” Colin said. “That was all she had. Well, she also had a mattress and an alarm clock but I figured we didn’t need to be bringing them back with us.”
“Her place came fully furnished then?” he asked. “She was always a bit of a tomboy but I figured she’d have more clothes than that.”
Trace and Colin exchanged a look. “Well, if it was supposed to be furnished she got ripped off.” As Colin explained where she’d been living, Gavin grew furious. He looked down at his clenched hands.
“So she was lying the entire time? To Clay?” Gavin knew for a fact that Clay wouldn’t have let her live in such dire straits if he’d known. “I knew I should have gone and gotten her earlier.”
“We couldn’t; we promised Clay we’d wait,” Colin reminded him.
“I know,” Gavin sighed. “But it’s been damn hard to stick to that promise and to think she’s been living on such a thin shoestring… Dammit.” He hit his fist against the arm of the chair.
“Yeah, well, we weren’t too happy ourselves,” Colin agreed. “No wonder she’s been sick. Why do you think Clay didn’t do something when he went to see her that last time?”
Gavin frowned and moved into the study. Coming back, he carried two envelopes. “Two different addresses,” he said, looking at the letters Lila had written to Clay. “She must have moved. I bet he never saw the new apartment. Question is, why would she move?”
“When we tried to question her about her job she wouldn’t reply,” Trace mentioned.
Gavin looked over at him thoughtfully. “Think she lost it?”
“Maybe,” Trace said. “This means she has no reason to return to Phoenix.”
“She’s here now,” Gavin said with satisfaction. “And here she’ll stay.”
Chapter Three
Lila took a deep breath for courage before she walked into Clay’s hospital room. She came to a sudden stop as she saw him lying on the bed, so still and surprisingly small. Clay had always been so large and healthy and just there. He was her rock.
She stepped forward quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he was sleeping. Gavin had driven her here and was now sitting out in the waiting room to give them some time alone. Clay’s normally tanned skin was chalky and dark circles formed rings under his eyes. He’d lost so much weight that his cheeks were sunken and gaunt.
Tears welled in her eyes. Then he opened his eyes and looked up at her, his gaze filled with warmth, with Clay.
“Oh, Clay, I’ve missed you,” she whispered, taking the seat beside the bed, her legs suddenly wobbly.
Clay held out his hand. “My little girl,” he rasped. “Come lie with me.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You could never hurt me, angel,” he told her.
Lila climbed onto the bed, settling herself on her side, her head resting on his chest, same as she had when she was a small child and was feeling tired or scared or just in need of a cuddle.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.
He ran a trembling hand up and down her back.
“I didn’t want you being sad for too long. There was nothing anyone could do: there was no point in telling all of you.”
Lila bit back her arguments. She didn’t want to ruin their time with ‘what ifs’ or regrets.
“I love you, Clay,” she told him, holding him as tight as she dared.
“I love you too, angel. Did I ever tell you that one of the best days of my life was the day you came into it? You brought sunshine into our home. I only wish you knew how much I adored having you around.”
She patted his chest. “You’re the most amazing person, Clay. You brought me home, gave me everything I could possibly need. I can never repay you.”
“And you never have to. You’re family, angel. Family doesn’t owe family. Family is there for each other no matter what. You were mine from the moment I picked you up in that alley and you always will be.”
Lila bit back her tears at his words.
“Shh, it’s okay, angel. Just know that you were always mine. My daughter. Now, just let me hold you for a while. Are you okay? Have you been eating well? Taking care of yourself?”
Lila bit back a snort of laughter. Like father, like sons.
*****
Gavin stepped into Clay’s room. He waited forty minutes to give them some time to talk. A smile crossed his face as he saw them lying on the bed, Clay on his back, Lila on her side. They looked so peaceful.
Clay opened his eyes as Gavin stepped closer. “She’s asleep. Poor thing is worn out.” There was a question in his voice.
Knowing he couldn’t hide much from Clay, Gavin sat beside the bed. “She’s been sick. I had her at the doctor’s this morning.” With Lila protesting the whole time, not that he’d let that stop him. “She’ll be okay as long as she gets plenty of rest and care.” Which Gavin would make sure of. He had asked the doctor about bringing her to visit Clay here when she was still coughing. Although he knew how much Lila and Clay wanted to see each other, he didn’t want to risk Clay catching something.
The doc, who knew Clay well, had smiled sadly and told him that seeing Lila would do Clay far more good than hurt.
Clay held her close as if afraid she would disappear. “It’s good she’s home. You and your brothers can take care of her now. I know I made you promise to let her be and perhaps that wasn’t right of me to interfere. I just thought I was doing what was best.”
Gavin nodded, staring at Lila lying so peacefully on the bed in full slumber. “I know. We all knew that you only ever wanted what was best for us.”
Grasping his hand, Clay gave it a weak squeeze. “Just don’t scare her away and don’t let her go. She needs to feel safe and loved. She needs to know she has a home.”
“I know,” Gavin agreed. “We’ll take care of her.”
They chatted for a while until Clay started to drift off.
“We should head home,” Gavin said.
Clay nodded with regret, giving Lila a squeeze. “I don’t want to let her go. Wake her up easily. You know how she hates waking up suddenly.”
Gavin smiled and walked around to where Lila lay. “You always were softer on her,” he teased. “I remember you pouring a bottle of water on me one morning to force me out of bed.”
Clay snorted. “Teenage boys, you’d have spent all day in bed if I let you. This one, she used to get up before all of us. I finally had to make a rule that she couldn’t leave her room until I came to get her. At least until she got older. I was terrified she’d hurt herself after I caught her trying to cook us all breakfast. There she was, seven years old, standing on a step stool, frying eggs. She couldn’t understand why I was so upset. She was just trying to do something nice. I think she thought she owed me for bringing her home. What she didn’t understand was that every day was a blessing with her around.”
Gavin knew how he felt. He shook Lila lightly.
“Baby girl, it�
�s time to wake up now. Lila, its Gavin, you’re safe.” She sat up, gasping for breath and looking around in fright. Gavin’s heart clenched, knowing this stemmed from a childhood of moving around constantly, of never knowing where she was going to wake up.
Clasping her face between his hands, he forced her to look at him. “You’re in the hospital with me and Clay, Lila. You fell asleep.”
“Oh, oh.” She shook her head as though to clear it. “Clay.” She glanced down at the older man, concern on her face. “I fell asleep, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“Of course, angel,” Clay told her with a tired smile. “I’m just going to have a nap now.”
She climbed down and Gavin moved back, but only slightly. “You go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Clay frowned. “I don’t think so, angel.”
“Lila, it’s time we went home now,” Gavin told her.
She glanced up at him. “I want to stay with Clay. I’ll be quiet so he can rest. You can go home and pick me up later.”
Gavin shook his head. “No can do, baby girl. You’re coming home now.” He made sure his voice held zero flexibility.
“Well, if you can’t pick me up, I’m sure I can make my own way home.”
He frowned. “Lila, have you forgotten you’ve been sick? You need to come home and get some rest.”
“I can rest here,” she replied stubbornly.
“Lila, honey,” Clay spoke up before Gavin could. “Go home now. I’ll still be here tomorrow. I promise.”
She bit her lip, obviously wanting to argue, but then her shoulders slumped and she nodded, leaning over to kiss Clay on the forehead. “Sleep well. I love you.”
“Love you too, angel.”
*****
Clay died a week later, surrounded by the family that loved him. Lila held it together through the arrangements, quietly organizing everything. They attended the small funeral together, leaning on one another and sharing family stories about the man they all loved with those who joined them at the house afterward.
“I thought Laken would have been here, supporting you,” a deep voice commented as she stood at the sink, washing dishes. The crowd was thinning and she needed some time alone.
Sighing, she turned to look at Duncan Jones. The huge, darkly-tanned man had a slight scowl on his face. His black hair and dark eyes gave him an intense, serious look. And the fact that he was built like a tank had many people steering clear of him. Until they realized he was the Duncan Jones. Former pro-footballer and worth millions. Then they tended to swarm. She wondered if that was why he’d come back to Haven. Because here everyone treated him like they always had. As one of those Jones boys.
And there were quite a few of them.
“Well, hello to you, too, Duncan,” she said dryly.
He had the grace to blush slightly and give her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Lila, you know I’m not one to mince my words. You couldn’t be in my household. Being the second oldest out of ten boys meant that if you had something to say you’d better be quick and you’d better be loud. I’m sorry about Clay,” he said sincerely. “I always had a lot of respect for him.”
She smiled. “He liked you too. He always said, “That Duncan Jones is going to make something of himself, despite his…” she trailed off and it was her turn to blush.
“Despite my dead-beat, alcoholic father,” Duncan finished with a raised brow.
“Ahh, I wouldn’t quite say that,” she said, heat filling her cheeks.
“It’s okay, it’s true,” he said with a wry smile.
“Laken wanted to be here,” she said, trying to change the subject back to something safer. “But she had other things going on.” Lila was concerned about her best friend. She’d met Laken Philips the first day she’d gone to school here in Haven. The other girl had pulled her hair and they’d become instant enemies.
That had lasted a week until Lila caught some older boys teasing Laken, and jumped in to defend her. They’d been best friends ever since. Laken had moved to New York to pursue a career in fashion. But lately she’d sounded tired and sad whenever Lila spoke to her.
Duncan frowned. “They’re working her too hard, taking advantage of her.”
Lila raised her brows but refrained from asking Duncan how Laken was any of his business. As far as she knew the two of them were like oil and water together.
“Hey, Duncan, you ready to go?” Joe, one of Duncan’s younger brothers, came up to them and after talking politely with Lila for a few minutes the two of them left.
“Lila, honey,” a deep voice called out to her. Lila looked up, having to smile as an extremely tall man with thick white hair walked towards her. His wife walked beside him, holding his hand. She was the complete opposite of her husband, being round and very short.
“Mr. and Mrs. Atchison, thank you for everything you’ve done today,” she said warmly. Arch Atchison was the undertaker; his wife, Mina, worked as his assistant. Being that there weren’t that many deaths in Haven, Arch also worked as the town’s postman and he did a comedy night once a month at the local bar, Dirty Delights. Amazing how funny an undertaker could be.
“You’re welcome dear,” Mina told her with a smile. She patted Lila’s hands as she held them tightly. “Anything we can do to help, just let me know.”
“I will, thank you.”
They left and she turned back to her dishes.
“Hard to get a moment alone, isn’t it?” A familiar deep voice said behind her before two hands landed on her shoulders.
“Jake,” she said, turning with a smile as she launched herself into the Sheriff’s arms. Although he was nearly ten years older than she was, Lila knew him well. He’d been Gavin’s best friend for years and she’d had a bit of a crush on him as a teenager.
“How you holding up, squirt?” he asked. “Want me to get rid of everyone for you?”
She pulled back, but he kept hold of her shoulders. “What are you going to do? Arrest them?”
“For you, baby, anything.”
She giggled.
“How about you take your hands off her,” Gavin interjected. Lila looked over, surprised to see him scowling at them. She wondered what his problem was as Jake laughed and took a step back, holding up his hands.
“Calm down, my friend. I was just leaving.”
“I’ll see you out,” Gavin told him with a snarl.
Lila watched them walk out, then shook her head and went back to her dishes. Men. They were a mystery to her.
An hour later everyone had finally gone. Feeling utterly drained, Lila looked around for something else to do, anything to keep her mind off the fact that Clay was gone. She couldn’t sit still, couldn’t stop or she feared she’d never start moving again.
Lila moved onto the porch and looked out over the land Clay had loved. Her heart broke that he’d never see it again, never ride it, never sit on his porch and drink a beer. Tears dripped down her cheeks and suddenly it was too much. She’d held it all inside for days and now it was erupting out of her.
She took off, racing to her favorite black cherry tree. There, she collapsed on the ground with a scream, bashing her fists against the ground.
“Why, why, why, why!” she screamed. “Why’d you leave me?”
She loved him so much and it was tearing her apart to have lost him. Why hadn’t she spent more time with him, visited more often, called him, anything?
Warm arms surrounded her and the world tilted dizzily. Tears blurred everything around her, but she made out Gavin’s face. He sat on the ground with her on his lap, rocking her as she screamed and cried.
Finally spent, exhausted, she just lay there, resting against him as he kissed the top of her head.
“Good girl. About time you let it all out,” he told her. “You’ve been so brave for the rest of us, it’s time to let us look after you.”
Lila wiped her face as footsteps came towards them.
“Here, Lila.” Colin held out some tiss
ues to her. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose, feeling a lot better. Trace handed her a glass of water and she sipped it, starting to feel half alive.
“Sorry,” she muttered, her cheeks flooding as she realized she’d totally broken down on them.
“For what?” Colin asked, sitting beside them so he could reach over and grab one of her hands. She felt Trace scoot up behind her. It was a heady feeling, having them surround her like this. A dream come true, but one that would forever remain a fantasy.
“For breaking down like this, I’m not the only one grieving. It was selfish.” She tried to move off Gavin’s lap. But his arms remained steady, not squeezing her, but letting her know that she wasn’t going anywhere until he was ready for her to.
“It was about time you let it all out, sweetheart,” Colin told her. “You’ve been holding your emotions inside, being strong for the rest of us. It’s time to lean on us for a change.”
“For a change?” she snorted. “I’ve been leaning on you guys since I got here. You haven’t let me contribute to the household finances. You’ve barely let me lift a finger. It was my turn to do something for you.”
They went still, silent, and she bit her lip, confused by their furious expressions. Had she said something wrong?
She pulled at Gavin’s arms. “Let me go, Gavin. I’ve got to go pack.”
“Pack?” Gavin asked with a frown. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Gavin, let me up,” she demanded. Finally, he loosened his hold. As she stood they did as well. With other men she might have felt intimidated as they surrounded her, but she knew they would never hurt her. They’d harm themselves before harming her. That was just the kind of men they were. Men who had honor, who would always protect those weaker than they were.
“Well?” Colin asked. “Where are you planning on going?”
“I need to get back to my apartment before my landlord rents it out to someone else.” If he hasn’t already.
“Your apartment is long gone,” Gavin told her with a piercing look. “We broke your lease and paid the fees. Did you really think we would let you go back there?”
Lila's Loves Page 4