The weight of his confession made me drop into a chair, hands gripping the armrests tightly.
Oh, Jereth.
He shook his head, crouching down in front of me and grasping the backs of my calves.
“I felt like if I could just get the marriage part out of the way then everything else would be easy, and for me, it was. But in protecting myself, I hurt you and because I hurt you and couldn’t see how I wasn’t doing a good enough job of fixing the problem. The thing is I had every intention of fixing the problem. I meant what I told you the other day; we aren’t getting a divorce. You’re mine for life.”
I stared at him.
He stared back.
“So, you treated me like a side chick because some woman made you her hashtag side nigga Sunday?”
Throwing his head back, he burst out laughing, and oh my, how the sun glinted off of those golds in his mouth made me want to stick my tongue down his throat. Still chuckling he shook his head as he moved his hands from my calves to the backs of my knees.
“Shit, girl. I didn’t treat you like a damn side chick.”
Saying nothing, I pursed my lips.
“I was trying to protect you. Did you see how fast my mama brought her ass down here? That would have happened sooner!”
I didn’t say a word, just stared at him in disapproval.
He sighed. “Fine. Not mentioning you to my family was pure selfishness. I wanted to keep you to myself as long as possible. You know that already. My baby brother already knew about you before I even got to him the other day. Mama had already ran his ear down on the phone about how you cursed her out.”
I frowned. “Great, now they won’t like me and it’s all your fault. I wouldn’t have had to fuss at her—I didn’t curse your mother out, Jereth—if she hadn’t come at me with some nonsense behind you. She called herself protecting you too, and as a mother, I get it but she was misguided. You should have given her all of the facts before you sicced her on me.”
Strong hands slid up to my thighs, dancing along the skin that was exposed under the hem of my dress. “I didn’t sic her on you. There was no stopping her once she saw the divorce papers.”
The mention of the divorce stopped my ascent into space from the pressure of his fingers on me and brought me back to earth. Seeing the look on my face, Jereth squeezed my legs.
“We’re not getting a divorce, so you can call up Danielle and let her know to hang that shit up. Our issues are not irreconcilable. We just needed better communication.”
“And you needed to see the error of your ways,” I murmured.
He nodded. “We both needed to see the error of our ways.” He paused as I begrudgingly dipped my chin. “So, are we…okay?”
I hesitated, trying to figure out how to word the thoughts in my head. “We could be…if you’re willing to make an actual effort. If you’re ready to let me into your life. I don’t care about your so-called selfishness; I need to know everything and everybody.”
He was already nodding before I’d made it to the second sentence. “Done and done. I’ve had plenty of time to keep you to myself; I can share you with my family. That ain’t no problem.”
“Also,” I thought about something my mama had suggested to me shortly after Jereth had left, “I think we need to go to marriage counseling. If we want this to work, we need to work on it.”
Once again, he nodded immediately. “I agree.”
With no other stipulations, I sat there nervously gripping the armrests as I thought about the last thing I needed to share.
“Um…if we’re gonna do this, I need to make sure that there are no secrets between us. I need to be completely transparent.” I paused, expelling a slow breath. The thought of telling him about my rendezvous with Angelo had given me a sick sort of excitement while I was in the act and even though the event had been disappointing, imagining Jereth as jealous or even angry had felt satisfying enough to make the ordeal worth it. Now, though? I was terrified of his reaction. “I…went out with someone. After you left.”
His brows were furrowed like he didn’t understand what I was saying, but I knew better. He was processing this information.
“When?”
“Ah…a few weeks ago. Late June.”
He stared at me, those chestnut browns boring into my soul, glowing with an apprehension I hadn’t expected, unearthing a shame I hadn’t suffered even whilst walking out of Angelo’s with a cold and wet pussy.
“Who was it?”
Pursing my lips, I hesitated to answer him. He didn’t know Angelo so I didn’t see the point in telling him.
“Does it matter?”
“To me, it does.”
“Why?” I was stalling. I had no idea if Jereth was a fighter, and I didn’t want him to go after Angelo when I was the one who had said yes.
“Is it so wrong for me to want to know the name of the man who took my wife on a date? I think it’s a pretty reasonable question.” His voice was deceptively light, almost like it was no big deal.
My throat tightened. “We didn’t…um…we didn’t go on a date. Actually.” I couldn’t call the half an hour we’d spent at the pool hall a date.
Jereth’s eyes darkened with something that could pass for rage if I knew what to look for and he released my hands, standing and walking a few yards away from the table. “You fucked him.” It wasn’t a question, but I still shook my head, feeling bereft at the distance he’d put between us, at the flat tone his voice had taken on.
“No! Of course not!” My eyes fluttered closed. Shit! Why did I add that last part?
He stared at me, dark eyes searing into my soul. “Of course not? Are you sure? You don’t sound sure.”
I couldn’t understand why I was dragging this out. Had I lost control of my vocal cords? It was four simple words, they shouldn’t be so hard to say. Except, the look on his face made my gut twist with guilt. He looked so betrayed, and I hadn’t even told him what actually happened. Idly, I thought of all the years that men fucked around on their women just because they were on a “break”. That wasn’t even this situation. We weren’t on a break because—
Oh.
A light bulb clicked on inside my head. That’s right. We hadn’t been a break. He left me and I filed for a divorce. We were separated. Instantly, all feelings of guilt and shame shrank—they didn’t vanish but they became small enough that I managed to look Jereth in the eye. It wasn’t cheating because I thought I was on my way to being a free woman.
“He ate me out, Jereth. Had his fat tongue all inside this pussy like he was digging for gold.” Immediately, I covered my face with my hands, not in shame, but in embarrassment at how I’d described the act. It wasn’t even entirely accurate but I felt allowed to embellish. I would surely bring up this moment in counseling if Jereth didn’t decide to renege on our marriage because I opted for a revenge fuck.
Silent, Jereth stood still, except for the ticking at his cheek as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. Finally, he spoke.
“Did you come?”
My hands fell to my lap. “Uh… Huh?”
Just that fast, I was thrown off balance. I hadn’t expected a question like that. Not like I had experience in delivering this kind of news, but that wasn’t a normal follow-up question to what I’d admitted. Angelo’s name? Sure. Insistence that I fucked the nameless man? Definitely. Orgasm inquiries? Hell no!
“You heard me. Did. You. Come?”
Embarrassment at the answer made me catch an attitude. “You’re worried about the wrong thing, Jereth!”
He eyed me for a moment before a slick grin appeared on his handsome face. The sight of it brought heat to my belly and tension to my shoulders. “I beg to differ, Mrs. Hawkins. I have very good cause to be worried about whether or not someone managed to obtain something that belongs to me. Now, answer the question.”
My eyes slid closed, not wanting to see the triumph on his face when I did so.
“No. I didn’t.”
“I didn’t come.”
“You didn’t come…when?”
“I didn’t come when Angelo ate me out.”
There was a brief pause. “Open your eyes, Tonya.”
At the lowly spoken directive, my lids flipped up and my gaze landed on Jereth who was once again crouched in front of me. His hands returned to my thighs, touching lightly.
“You know why that is, don’t you?”
I nodded, knowing exactly why.
“Tell me why.”
“Because you’ve ruined me for anyone else.”
His eyes flashed and a sinister grin allowed those golds to flash at me before, quicker than I could have imagined, he spread my legs, lifting each one over the arm of the chair until I was spread open for him.
“That’s right, baby.”
My ass slid to the edge of the seat and my eyes flew to the line of bushes behind him.
“Jereth! What are you doing?!” The sudden change in altitude startled me, and I couldn’t catch the scream before it tore out of my throat but I wasn’t afraid; I was startled.
Experience had shown me that he could bring me to an orgasm lickety-split—pun absolutely intended—but doing so outside of my family’s business, where men, women, and children were just on the other side of the wall getting hot chocolates and iced lattes, and anyone could walk around the corner and see us, made my heart race.
He didn’t answer me with his words. The way he bent his head under the hem of my skirt and slid the gusset of my panties to the side gave me the answer I was looking for. Any protest I’d mustered died a quick, painless death on my tongue the moment his nose brushed the curls at my apex.
Sucking in a shaky breath, I dug my fingers into his shoulders. “Jereth, stop. We can’t do this here.” For all the good it did me, I might as well have said nothing at all.
With precision only a man like Jereth could achieve, his lips parted my folds and his tongue lapped at the slickness that had formed the moment my eyes met his over the monitor of the register. When he slid the middle finger of one hand inside of me and two fingers of the other into my mouth before sucking my exposed clit into his mouth, I shuddered in that chair, coming apart at the seams in under three minutes.
Like a gentleman, he righted my panties and dress and stood in front of me as a human shield as he waited for my aftershocks to pass. When I tapped him on the shoulder to let him know that I was good, he turned and pulled me out of the chair and into a passionate kiss. I could taste my own muskiness on his mouth and after seeing him suck my essence off of his finger, I kissed him harder.
We broke apart, and he rested his forehead on mine, staring into my eyes.
“Never again give another nigga an opportunity to taste what’s mine.”
I nodded, rightly chastised and suddenly dumbfounded as a weight lifted off of my heart. Was this for real? Were we actually going to make this marriage last?
He kissed me again before grabbing my hand and leading me back into the coffee shop where I finished out my shift and he played checkers with my daddy and uncles.
Chapter Twenty-Six
When Wrongs Are Righted
“Are you going to sit in the car all day?”
She shook her head but didn’t loosen her grip on the seatbelt across her chest.
“Baby.” I crouched down next to her and reached across her lap to release the restraint. “It’s fine. You know that, right?”
Her eyes narrowed to slits and shot daggers at me. “I thought I could do this but I can’t. I’ll just wait out here while you and Wisdom go in and have a good time.”
Laughing, I leaned back and caught Wisdom’s eye. “We’ll be right there, Lil Man.” I turned back to his mother and slid my hands up her exposed thighs, squeezing gently. “All that talk about wanting to meet my family and now we’re here and you want to chicken out.”
“That was before I cursed out your mama like a sailor fresh off the boat! I’m so damn embarrassed; I can’t even look her in the eye, let alone go into her damn house! I’m so pissed at you for putting me in this situation.”
The grin slipped off my face as the catch in her voice let me know she was serious. She was right; I’d had a big hand in putting her in this position. Although I’d felt like I was doing the right thing at the time, I fully acknowledged that it was my carelessness that led to Tonya blowing up at my mother. I had to own up to my part in it, but she had to do the same. She made the decision to disrespect my mother, so she had to live with that. For us to move forward, this was something we were going to have to tackle head-on. Tonya was important to me and having a relationship with my mother, free from animosity, was important to Tonya. They’d spoken on the phone but I knew it wasn’t enough so we were here, in the driveway of my parent’s home, preparing to go inside and have dinner with them.
We’d been sitting in the driveway for a while, and I could see now that I’d have to take matters into my own hands. Grabbing her legs, I swung them out of the car and placed her feet on the ground.
She put her hands up to stop me from pulling her out of the car and stood up. “You don’t have to manhandle me, I’m coming. I…I just need a minute.”
“I gave you five.” Bending at the knees, I lifted her up over my shoulder and kicked the door closed on the car, studiously ignoring her screams as I carried her up to the front door where I set her on her feet.
“That was so freaking unnecessary! I can walk!”
Wisdom stood at the door, giggling and I winked at him. “Tell your mom how long we’ve been waiting on her.”
“Mommy, it’s been ten minutes already. We had to take drastic measures.”
She gave him an incredulous look. “You conspired with him against me?”
Slipping an arm around her waist, I pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Don’t be so dramatic. We’re already here; we might as well go inside. “The door should be unlocked, Wisdom; open the screen door and turn the knob.”
He pushed the door open and stood back, and I grabbed Tonya’s hand before walking inside. My father was sitting in his favorite reclining chair, watching a basketball game. The moment we stepped inside, his face lit up and he jumped out of the chair with his arms spread wide.
“I’ll be damned. The prodigal son has returned.”
Laughing, I dropped Tonya’s hand and received the hug and kiss he was offering.
“Man, why you acting like I didn’t see you a few weeks ago?”
He released me. “Well, you didn’t have your better half with you, so I haven’t seen you whole in quite some time.”
My mouth fell open. “Wow, Pops. Firing shots as soon as I walk in the door, huh?”
A knowing look came across his face. “Are you finally going to introduce me to my daughter-in-law or do I have to stand here watching you catch flies with your mouth?”
“Oh my god.” Tonya breathed from behind me, laughter in her voice. She was enjoying me get blasted by my father but it was well deserved, so I took it in stride.
“Pops, this is my beautiful wife, my lady, my lover, Latonya Shari Black—hopefully soon, Hawkins—and this is my incredibly intelligent, incredibly talented stepson, Wisdom Cyrus Black. Baby, Wisdom, this is my father James Hawkins.”
Pops nodded, an impressed gleam in his eye. “That was quite an introduction, son. Good job.”
He then pushed me aside to pull Tonya into his arms. He must have said something to her because she nodded before stepping aside so that he could beckon Wisdom over.
“Where’s Ma?” I asked, glancing through the living room into the empty kitchen.
“She’s out back. Said she wanted to eat outdoors today.”
With a nod, I led my family through the living room, past the kitchen, and out the back door that led to my parents’ professionally landscaped backyard. As soon as we cleared the pa
tio, I noticed Lisa come waddling around the corner. The moment she spotted us, her face brightened and her speed increased slightly. Bypassing me, she launched at Tonya with a force that almost knocked them both off of their feet. Tonya stumbled backward, wide, confused eyes on me. All I could do was shrug. I thought we were having dinner with my parents, so I had no idea why Lisa was here and couldn’t even fathom why she would be giving Tonya a super death-grip hug, knowing damn well it was a struggle with her belly in the way.
Wrapping her arms around Tonya’s neck, Lisa squealed, “It’s so good to finally meet you!”
“Um, thank you?”
Leaning back but not withdrawing her hold on Tonya, Lisa smiled widely. “Girl, you have no idea how glad I am to have you in the family!”
Immediately, I realized what she was saying and frowned. This is what J had been talking about. “Lisa, get on from ‘round here with that bullshit!”
Smirking, she faced me, leaving one arm around Tonya’s neck and propping her free hand on her hip.
“Don’t give me all of that smack talk because I’m showing my appreciation to this woman!”
“You’re showing appreciation for the wrong damn thing.”
“Says you!”
“Hell yeah, says me!
“Anyway!” Rolling her eyes, she turned to Wisdom. “Hey handsome, I’m your auntie, Lisa. I heard you were into sports. Well, your cousin Ja’mya is pretty athletic herself, and I think you two would have a lot in common. Come in back with me so I can introduce you.”
Wisdom looked to his mother for confirmation that it was okay while I gaped at Lisa.
“Mya’s here, too?”
“Yes, Jereth. Everyone is here.”
“Everyone?”
She shot me a look before grabbing both Tonya and Wisdom’s hand in each of her own and leading them around the corner of the house where the rest of my family was posted at the outdoor kitchen. Jeremiah approached us just before we reached the gazebo, and I could see come of the tension in Tonya’s shoulders relax as he hugged her to his side and dapped up Wisdom.
To Break a Vow Page 23