The next evening, Kari placed the call she had been dreading.
“Søren?” Kari’s hands on the phone shook. “This is Kari. I-I need to tell you something.”
Is this how dreams die, Lord?
—
IT WAS THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND ROBBIE WAS AWAKE.
Again.
Crying and inconsolable.
Night after night, he repeated the pattern Bill and Mary had described. Not much had changed since the children’s move to New Orleans.
Not with Robbie anyway.
Kari had thought having the children sleep in her room until they settled in would ease the transition to her unfamiliar house. She also hoped to help Shannon wake up quickly whenever a nightmare came.
So far, that part of her plan had helped, if only a little.
Whenever Shannon began to whimper in the dark, Kari would rise and gently shake her. As soon as she opened her eyes and saw Kari, she would calm and, within minutes, go back to sleep.
Robbie was another story. Night after night, at two in the morning—like clockwork—he woke up. Sobbing. Shrieking.
I may be a lot younger than the Greenes, but after two weeks of this? I’m wiped out.
“Your little sleep clock is broken, my sweet Robbie,” Kari whispered. “Let’s ask Jesus to fix it.”
As Kari prayed over him, she smoothed his silky hair and attempted to snug his blanket around him. He resisted, kicking the blanket and her hands away, wailing harder. Louder.
She lifted him from his crib, placed him against her shoulder and, with the blanket loose about him, descended the dark stairs. After many nights of this, Kari knew the best place to walk with him was her office.
She paced the carpet between her desk and the window. “You’re having such a tough time, aren’t you, little man?” Kari cooed. “But you’re getting used to me, right? Getting used to your new home? Soon you’ll get past this. I know you will.”
She hoped he was adjusting, if only a tiny bit.
Please, Robbie. You just have to.
And then he sobbed softly on her shoulder rather than struggling against her and throwing himself to the floor in a screaming fit as he had many times before.
As Kari walked, she sang. She stroked his back and breathed kisses onto his chubby neck. After a while, she resorted to a rhythmic patting on his bottom that seemed to soothe him.
Kari put on a good face at work and at home, but she was fearful of the steep wall of compounding problems mounting against her.
I don’t get enough sleep. When I’m at the office, I’m thinking of Shannon and Robbie. I’m not keeping up. And when I’m here, I feel helpless. Inadequate.
As Azalea had suggested, Kari had liked Mrs. Birch and hired her right way. She came early in the day and stayed with the children while Kari worked. If Kari stayed later than she’d intended, Azalea kept the children while she fixed dinner.
They liked Mrs. Birch and Azalea well enough, but . . .
Even though the children like the nanny and Azalea is worth her weight in gold, I can’t keep my mind on my work. Things are slipping through the cracks. Scarlett is flagging under the load, drowning in responsibility, and I’m not helping her enough.
Kari walked faster.
Her breathing grew ragged, anxious.
Did Peter Granger ever walk my father in this very room? Did he ever calm Daddy’s fears?
The questions came out of nowhere, blindsiding her. An image of her father as a bereft infant flooded Kari’s mind—an infant weeping for his mother.
With no warning, a single sob broke from her mouth. Kari was astonished at how raw her pain was.
Robbie ceased his pitiful mewling and pushed himself up to look at Kari. In the lamplight from Kari’s desk, he considered her with sober eyes.
“I’m sorry, little man.” Kari wiped her eyes and sniffed.
Robbie, still with serious face, placed one fat hand upon Kari’s cheek and patted it. Once. Twice.
A wail of anguish burst from Kari’s mouth.
All I can think is that I’m not enough. Not good enough, not strong enough, not ‘present’ enough for these children. Even my love is not enough! I’m so afraid I will let them down!
“O Robbie! I am a poor substitute for your mama! I’m so sad your daddy can’t be here! I’m so sorry, little man. O Jesus, please help me. Please help me to help these precious little ones!”
Robbie laid his head over her shoulder again. Kari wrapped her arms about him and wept against his blanketed back.
Lord! I don’t know if I can do this! Please help me. Show me what to do.
Dawn was rising. Kari didn’t know how long she had walked, only that she had cried herself out and Robbie had, too. He was fast asleep, snuggled against her chest, the inevitable finger in his mouth.
Kari’s arms about Robbie were wooden, frozen in place, her legs and feet lead weights. She dragged herself to the window and rested bleary eyes on the garden where her beloved tree had bowed its majestic branches to the ground.
The garden will never be the same. I made them leave the remains of the trunk, but my beautiful tree—and all its majesty—is gone and has left such a void.
No matter what I do, another will not grow here—not in my lifetime.
Kari blinked.
They’s a storm comin’.
Miss Em’s words came rolling back upon Kari.
And in the dream, he showed me a big ol’ tree, an old live oak, a’bending and twisting in the wind o’ that storm until, with a thunderous crack, it split.
Kari gasped.
Well, child, at first I thought it was split in two pieces. Then the wind died away and I saw, no, it was split in three pieces. And the Lord, he say to me, ‘Tell Kari when that storm comes, it will break your tree—but she is not to give in to despair.’
He say that two times: ‘Tell Kari: You are not to give in to despair.’
Then he say it all again. ‘Tell Kari: They’s a storm comin’ and it will break your tree, but it will not die. Two branches will grow out of one piece of that broken trunk. Your tree will live, and all will be well.’
Kari’s knees buckled and she dropped to the carpet, Robbie still clutched in her arms.
“A trunk broken into three pieces! Me! Laynie! Sammie! And two branches will grow out of one piece of that broken trunk . . .
“O God! O God! You have saved these two little branches, Shannon and Robbie, to continue our line. Our tree. Our tree will live!”
Kari curled on the floor, Robbie’s breath warm and steady against her neck.
Our tree will live. Yes. It will.
Robbie slept and Kari slept, Miss Em’s words washing her heart.
Tell Kari: You are not to give in to despair.
As Kari slept, her heart settled.
All will be well.
~~**~~
Chapter 33
KARI LOOKED AROUND OSKAR’S REC ROOM, seeing with new eyes the tiny table and chairs. She took in the toys and games he and Melanie provided for their grandchildren.
Funny how a month with two tiny tyrants can change a perspective forever.
“You wanted to talk to me, Kari?” Oskar was concerned, Kari could tell.
“I’m sure Scarlett has mentioned how . . . distracted I am.”
“No one can fault you, Kari. You found a long-lost sister. You lost a brother before you could know him. And now you are raising his children. That’s a tremendous amount of change. A lot to adjust to.”
“I . . . yes, it is. Thank you for not judging me.”
“Judging you? I admire you more than you know.”
Kari winced under the unexpected praise. “I don’t know. I’m not doing a good job at the office. Or at home.”
“It is a dilemma that frustrates every working mom.”
Kari frowned. Did he just call me a mom?
Oskar was still talking, but Kari’s attention was fixed on that one word: mom.
I wanted a h
ome. A family. David promised me both—and broke his promise and our wedding vows.
And Søren. He talked about us having babies . . . but I’m going on forty-two. Too late for babies, in all practicality.
Kari studied the little table and its miniature chairs.
Huh. So am I a mom now?
“Kari?”
“What? Sorry.”
“I was saying, perhaps it’s time to take on more help at the office, time to give some of your responsibilities to another pair of capable hands.”
Kari put her elbows on the table, her chin on her palms. “So, what then? Would I take less of a management role? Work only part-time?”
“Would that be so terrible? Haven’t you proven to yourself and the world that you are the head and heart of Michaels Enterprises? That you are more than capable of guiding and growing your conglomerate? If you were to, say, step away a bit more, wouldn’t you still be able to check up on how your people are managing and know for yourself the state of things?”
Oskar looked with frank fondness on Kari. “Take some time to pray about what to do, won’t you?”
“Yes, I will. Thank you, Oskar.”
“Good. I’ll be praying also.”
—
MORE WEEKS CRAWLED BY. Shannon’s nightmares were becoming less frequent.
And Robbie had actually slept the night through. Once.
Miracles are real, Lord, Kari sighed. I’m a believer now!
On the other hand, Kari’s internal clock—having grown accustomed to mid-sleep interruptions—woke her in the night and kept her up for hours. She used the time to catch up on the pile of back work that, despite her efforts, was morphing into a mountain.
After one such sleep-deprived night, Kari slept late and missed her morning devotions. She hustled the children into their clothes, got them downstairs to the breakfast Azalea was making, met Mrs. Birch at the door, and dragged herself into Michaels Enterprises.
She nodded and smiled at those who greeted her, but went directly to her office. She closed the door behind herself and leaned on it.
Lord, I can’t go on like this. I need you. And I need answers.
Scarlett and Bettina knew that when Kari’s door was closed she was not to be disturbed. Kari sat down at her desk, folded her hands upon its surface, and leaned her forehead upon her hands.
Father, if ever I have required your guidance, it is today. I promised to raise Shannon and Robbie, to do my very best. For their sake—for my sake—I need to know how to do that.
She prayed for Shannon. She prayed for Robbie. She prayed for the Greenes and the Portlands. She prayed for Laynie.
Then she was praying for Søren, for Max, for Ilsa.
I have a house in RiverBend.
I have a house in RiverBend, and I haven’t even seen it—not since the contractor laid the foundation. It is sitting empty.
What a waste.
“Lord,” Kari whispered, “what I need—what I would dearly appreciate—is a solution. Father, you can do anything! If it pleases you, could you just make it fall into my lap? Please?”
Since Kari’s door was closed, she was surprised to hear a timid knock.
“Oh, well. Whenever you’re ready, Lord.” Kari sat up and blotted her face.
“Come in.”
Bettina peeked her head around the edge of the door. “I apologize, Miss Michaels. Cadie Bryant is here. She . . . she is insistent upon seeing you.”
“Cadie!” Kari got up. “Thank you, Bettina. Please send her in.”
With a somewhat sheepish greeting, Cadie said. “I know you weren’t expecting me, Miss Michaels. Thank you for seeing me anyway.”
“Actually, I’m delighted, Cadie, but I was sorry to hear about your aunt.”
“You are so kind. We miss her terribly, but at the same time? My sister and I are free to live our lives again.”
Kari nodded. “And how goes The Battle of Granger Mills?”
Cadie smiled, and Kari saw new confidence in the woman—in the glow on her high, ebony cheekbones, in her bright grin. Kari motioned her to a chair and they sat together.
“The battle? I believe we have routed the enemy and the battle is won, Miss Michaels. We hired a new comptroller last month—a wise and experienced gentleman. I trained him myself and know he will work out well.”
“Trained him? But isn’t Comptroller your job?”
Cadie grinned again, and Kari did not miss the mischievous twitch of one shoulder. “I, well, I was actually a little bored, Miss Michaels.” She opened both hands wide. “You asked how the battle goes, but I’m wondering if you need another lieutenant to help win the war?”
The wheels in Kari’s head started turning slowly, but within seconds, they were moving along at a good clip.
“Do you mean to tell me that you quit your job at Granger Mills and came here hoping for a new one?”
Cadie answered Kari’s question without flinching. “I would prefer something with a little more, um, ‘scope for imagination’ than a textile mill and sewing shop.”
Kari bit back a snicker at the reference to Anne of Green Gables. “And you think Michaels Enterprises would provide more, er, scope for imagination?”
One of Cadie’s long legs bounced. She shifted in her seat and buzzed with pent-up energy. “I’ve been researching your holdings, Miss Michaels. In manufacturing alone, you are diversified in so many interesting directions! Durable medical equipment and surgical implement manufacturing; electronics, semiconductors, lighting; tools and hardware. Textiles, of course. And it’s not solely your manufacturing side that intrigues me.”
She looked Kari in the face. “What I’m really saying is that I want to work for you. With you. What I saw last April at Granger Mills? I want to learn how to lead like that.”
Cadie jutted her chin as she made her pitch. “I’m willing to work wherever in your organization you have a need.”
“I see.” Kari sat back and gave free rein to the possibilities.
This woman has the best grasp on facts and figures I’ve encountered. She’s brilliant. Her education and experience are top notch. She is loyal and ethical.
Another quality rose in Kari’ mind. And she’s certainly courageous. Quitting her job and showing up here?
And then it hit her: Father, you can do anything! If it pleases you, could you just make it fall into my lap? Please?
“Oh, wow.”
Kari wasn’t aware she’d spoken aloud until Cadie fidgeted.
“I meant no disrespect, Miss Michaels.”
Kari laughed softly. “I saw none, Cadie. I was, um, thinking aloud.” She drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair and then reached a decision.
“Would you mind following me?”
Kari swept out of her office without waiting for an answer. She knew Cadie would be right behind her.
Kari tapped on Scarlett’s door. “Have a minute?”
“Sure! My place or yours?”
“Here is good.” She waved Cadie in, “Look who came knocking a minute ago.”
“Good to see you, Cadie.”
Scarlett was not as surprised at Cadie’s unannounced visit as Kari expected her to be. Scarlett nodded in Cadie’s direction and looked back to Kari.
“Yes?”
Kari’s eyes narrowed.
Scarlett has been visiting Granger Mills every other week for months.
“You knew she was coming here today.”
Scarlett smiled. “Not today. Just the ‘coming here’ part.”
“Okay, obviously you’ve been giving this some thought. What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking Cadie and her skills are what we need right now.”
Kari marched to Scarlett’s desk, put her hands on it, leaned toward her with a menacing air, and whispered, “Are you angling for another bonus, Miss Brunell?”
“A raise would be more appreciated,” Scarlett whispered back.
“You’re planning on Cadie taking the load
off me?”
“I’m planning on Cadie taking the load off me—where it’s been for weeks now.”
“Are you complaining, Miss Brunell?”
“I never complain, ma’am. I find solutions.”
So smug!
“Huh. You’re thinking we bring her on board and divide the work in thirds?”
“Fifths would be better. Two-fifths me, two-fifths Cadie, one-fifth you.”
“I believe you are conspiring with Oskar.”
“Certainly.”
“I see.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Harrumph.”
Kari stood up and spoke at her regular volume. “And furthermore, Miss Brunell, I’m going to dock two weeks from your paycheck for collusion and insubordination.”
“As you wish, Miss Michaels.”
“My left foot!”
Scarlett grinned and Kari pivoted.
“Cadie, come this way, please.”
Kari marched about ten feet down the hallway and threw open the door of an empty office. “When can you start?”
—
FIVE WEEKS LATER, AT HER WEEKLY MONDAY morning meeting, Kari looked over her staff. Her heart was at peace.
This is going to work, Lord. You are making a way.
“As you all know, I’ve had to cut back on my schedule since my niece and nephew came to live with me. The loss of their parents and the move here, away from their grandparents, has been very difficult for them.
“Many of you, Scarlett and Bettina most of all, have had to shoulder the responsibilities I let slide. With Cadie joining us, things are smoothing out. It is because this office is running so well, that I have the confidence to announce . . . that I intend to scale down my role with Michaels Enterprises even further. To that end, I will be limiting my in-office schedule to a few days a month. Effective immediately.”
A round of murmured comments answered Kari. Scarlett, Bettina, and Cadie, who had already been told of Kari’s decision, said nothing, but they nodded.
All God's Promises (A Prairie Heritage Book 7) Page 37