by Ryan, Kaylee
“Cal, please go. I’m proud of you for getting clean, but it’s time for you to move on.”
He looks up at me, and I can see in his eyes he truly thought I would come back to him. My heart hurts for him, but it’s too late for us.
“Are you happy?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. The man holding me tight against his side will guarantee that I am.
“Okay.” He reaches into his pocket and Ridge steps forward, as if he needs to protect me. Cal pulls out a white envelope. “This came to your old address, but they delivered it to mine. I’ve had it for a while now. I wanted to find a job before I came back for you. Wanted you to see I’ve changed.” He sets the envelope on the coffee table. “You’re going to want to read it,” he says, his sad eyes finding mine.
“Good-bye, Cal.”
He stares at me for what seems like eternity, and it’s uncomfortable for everyone. Finally, he says, “Good-bye, Kendall. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for everything that happened between us.” Then he looks at Ridge. “Take care of her.”
Ridge doesn’t acknowledge him. Cal gets the hint, offering a sad wave before he leaves, the door clicking softly behind him.
“You okay?” Dawn asks.
I nod against Ridge’s chest; he has me crushed to him. He lowers his head to whisper in my ear. “I love you, Kendall.” Those four words pull me out of the sadness Cal brought with him. I meant what I said, that I’m proud of him, but Ridge is my heart.
“How about we order in?” Dawn asks.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Ridge agrees.
“Pizza?” Mark suggests. “You girls like the place just down the street, right?”
“Perfect.” Dawn grins at him. “We’ll go pick it up, give these two some time.”
“Thanks,” Ridge says to them.
When they’re gone, he leads me to the couch and pulls me onto his lap. “You good?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m surprised he showed up after all this time, but I don’t want him. You’re where I want to be.”
“I know that.” He kisses my bare shoulder. “I also know that seeing him again probably brought up a lot of those old memories.”
“Yeah, but I’m good, really. I feel bad for him, I do, but there was never a choice to make, Ridge. I’m in love with you.”
“I know that, but I still love to hear those words fall from your lips.” He kisses my shoulder again. “So, what do you think’s in the envelope?”
“Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I should look.” I stand and walk to the table by the door, grabbing the envelope. It’s addressed to me at my old apartment, but there’s no return contact information. Not sure what I’m going to find, I sit on the opposite end of the couch as Ridge. I see his face fall, but he doesn’t push me. Mr. ‘I need to touch you at all times’ knows I need a minute to see what’s inside.
“It doesn’t have a return address,” I tell him.
“You want me to open it?” he offers.
“No, it’s probably a letter from him, trying to convince me. Honestly, I have no idea what else it could be.”
“Pizza’s here,” Dawn announces, setting the boxes down on the coffee table. “I’ll grab plates and napkins. What do you guys want to drink?” she yells from the kitchen.
I laugh at her, place the letter aside, and help her gather everything we’ll need.
Two large pizzas later, we’re all groaning that we ate too much. It was so good, though.
“So, what was in the envelope?” Dawn asks.
I shrug. “Don’t know, haven’t opened it yet.”
“What are you waiting for?” she asks.
I laugh at her, reach for the envelope, and tear it open.
Kendall,
It’s taken me a while to find you, as adoption papers are sealed pretty tight. I’m your sister, Melissa. We’re twins, not sure if you knew that or not. I was told by the private investigator that I hired that you know you were adopted. I wanted to make sure my contacting you didn’t shatter your world.
Anyway, not sure how much you know about our mother. She was sixteen and gave us up with the hopes of a better life. We were both adopted, but my first adoptive parents didn’t turn out so great. They got messed up with drugs and God only knows what else, and I was placed in foster care. Don’t be sad though. A few years later, I was adopted by an amazing family. I will forever be grateful for everything they did for me. About eight months ago, I lost them. It was tragic and unexpected, and left me once again all alone in the world.
I’ve thought about you a lot over the years, and well, losing my family has me putting myself out there, reaching out to my sister.
I’m actually going to be in your hometown in a few weeks. That’s a story in itself. You see, I had a one-night stand—a first for me—with a guy who lives there. I didn’t stick around after, running off in the middle of the night. Turns out our little rendezvous created a miracle. I’m pregnant, and even though I’m scared as hell to raise this baby on my own, I want him. More than anything, I want him. I’ve gone back and forth about whether or not I should track down the father and tell him, but I figure he has a right to know. So, in a few weeks, I’m making the trip. I’ve written him too, just in case I chicken out. You might know him, since he’s close to our age. His name is Ridge, and he works for Beckett Construction.
If you’re around, I’d love to meet and have lunch. If you would rather not, I get that too. I just wanted to send out that olive branch if you ever decide you’d like to meet me. I hope you’re happy and life is treating you well. I’ve enclosed all my contact information just in case you want to meet up, now or in the future.
Best wishes,
Melissa Knox
I let the letter fall into my lap, tears falling from my eyes and dripping onto the paper. I feel tight arms around me and realize I’m in Ridge’s lap. I was so zoned out from her letter I didn’t even notice.
“Baby, you’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong,” Ridge pleads.
Shit.
Ridge.
Knox.
Melissa.
I jump off his lap, the letter falling to the floor. Ridge grabs it before I can. “Baby, I won’t read it if you tell me what’s wrong. If you don’t, I have to. I have to know what’s causing you to be so upset.” He steps toward me and I take a step back.
“Ridge,” Mark says, cutting him off, placing a hand against his chest.
“Get off me.” His voice is menacing. “I have to hold her,” he tells Mark.
“Give her a minute, man. Just let her process whatever it is she read.”
“Kendall.” His voice cracks. “Baby, tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.”
Dawn comes to me slowly and wraps her arms around my waist. I hug her back because I need my best friend. My entire world just came crashing down and I’m going to lose him, lose both of them. As soon as he finds out I’m Melissa’s sister, he’s going to be done with me. Won’t he?
“Sweetie, can we read it?” Dawn asks. “Can we read the letter?”
My eyes find Ridge, and although he’s blurry as I try focus through my tears, I can see the anguish on his face. I nod and he sighs with relief.
He plops down on the chair, opens the letter, and begins to read.
Chapter 41
Ridge
My fucking heart is about to beat right out of my chest. Something in that envelope has her emotionally a wreck, and I want to know what the fuck it is. How am I supposed to fix it if I don’t know what it is? I just need to hold her. Once I have her in my arms, I can get her to tell me, I know I can.
When Dawn asked her if we could read it, and she agreed, I returned to my seat. I read it once through and then again, thinking my mind is playing tricks on me.
Is this real life? Have we not been through enough already? Did she know she was adopted? I didn’t know that about her. Is that why she’s so upset? I need to hold her.
“Kendall,
baby, can I please hold you?” I ask her. My voice is thick with the emotion I’m fighting back.
She just stares at me, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Please, baby.” My voice cracks again. I don’t take my eyes off her and I’m thankful, because she gives a slight nod. That’s all the encouragement I need before I’m on my feet and wrapping her in my arms. She begins to sob against my chest, and I can feel my own emotions welling up in my throat. She’s breaking my fucking heart right now and I can’t fix this. I need to fix this for her.
I hear Dawn gasp, and I know she and Mark have just read the letter.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I assume it’s my parents.’ I dig it out and toss it to Mark. “Check that. If it’s my parents,’ text them and let them know I need them to keep Knox a little longer, and I’ll explain later.” He nods and his fingers begin flying across the screen.
I don’t move, just hold her as close as I can, running my fingers through her hair, continually kissing the top of her head. I’ll stand here in this spot and hold her for as long as it takes.
“Kendall, sweetie, why don’t you guys sit down? I’ll get you something to drink,” Dawn suggests.
Kendall doesn’t move, and neither do I. “I got you,” I murmur in her ear. She grips my shirt tighter.
I don’t know how long we stand there. Seconds, minutes, hours, days—I’ve lost complete track of time.
“Baby, you want to sit?” I ask her. She gives a slight nod so I pull away, intending on carrying her, and she latches on.
“Don’t leave me,” she cries.
Fuck me.
“Shhh, I’m not going anywhere.” Bending down, I lift her into my arms and carry her to the couch. She curls into my chest and buries her face in my neck.
I run my hands up and down her back, trying to soothe her. “Kendall, baby, I need you to help me here. There was a lot of information in that letter, and I don’t know what’s spooked you the most. Can you talk to me?”
No response.
“Hey, man, your mom’s not feeling well. I’m going to meet them and take Knox back to your place,” Mark says, his voice low.
“No.” Kendall lifts her head. “Bring him here.” She looks up at me. “Please?”
I nod to Mark. “Okay, babe, he’s going to bring Knox here.”
“I’ll go with you,” Dawn tells Mark.
I’m thankful to have a minute with just us—hopeful is more like it. Maybe I can get her to talk. “Baby, please talk to me.”
“I’m adopted,” she finally says.
“Did you already know that?” I ask her. “I mean, I know what the letter said, but was she right? Did you know?”
“Yeah, I was a baby, a newborn. My birth mother, she was just a kid. She did what was best for me, and I’ve lived an amazing life,” she says through more tears. Her voice is sad.
“Did you know you were a twin?”
“No.”
Okay, well, we’re starting to get somewhere. “That’s a shock, huh?”
“Yeah, but she was your Melissa, Ridge.”
My Melissa. “She was Knox’s mother, yes, but she was never mine, Kendall.”
“I’m finally happy, happy with a man who makes my heart skip a beat every day.” She sniffles. “And now I’m going to lose him.”
Wait, what? “Kendall, look at me.” She doesn’t. I tilt her chin up with my index finger. “How are you going to lose me?”
“Because!” she yells. “My twin sister was your one-night stand. Knox’s mom. I’ll be a constant reminder of what you lost.”
“Never,” I say, shifting her in my lap so she’s straddling me. I cup her face with my hands and make her look at me. “That’s never fucking going to happen. You are my heart, and nothing—and I mean nothing—will take me away from you. Is that what you think? That I could just stop loving you?”
“I don’t know,” she whispers, her voice giving away just how bad this is hurting her.
“There is no choice, sweet girl. I’m no longer me without you—you and Knox. You are a part of me, Kendall Dawson. She was a girl I met in a bar, and we slept together. That night resulted in the miracle that is my son. What happened to her is tragic and sad. Finding out that she’s your twin, that’s news that rocks the foundation, shakes it up a little, but it doesn’t crumble. Nothing ever will.”
She continues to look into my eyes as silent tears coat her cheeks. So I keep going, knowing I will until she understands what I’m telling her. “It’s news that is unexpected, but that’s life, right? Life is full of unexpected moments that lead you to find your way. Maybe Melissa sent you to me. Did you ever think about that? From the beginning, my pull toward you was something like I’ve never experienced. Maybe that was her pushing us together. I don’t know how the universe works, but I can tell you that I thank God for you every day.”
She’s quiet for a long time. I don’t say anything else, just letting her process my words, what I’m saying. That I will love her until the day I take my last breath.
“I love you. I love Knox, and the thought of not having either of you, it breaks me.”
Oh, my sweet girl. “Won’t happen, baby. It’s you and me, remember?”
She nods and wipes her eyes.
“Can I kiss you?” I know it’s not really the time, but I need something. I need to show her that nothing in that letter changes a damn thing for me. She’s my heart.
She laughs. “You really want to kiss this mess?” She points to her face.
“Yes, you’re my beautiful mess,” I say, leaning in to kiss her salty lips. The door opening has me pulling away.
Mark is carrying Knox in his seat and sets him on the couch beside us. He sees us and babbles, moving his little arms and legs.
Kendall laughs and turns sideways in my lap, pulling him out of his seat. Immediately, she hugs him tight to her chest. The little bugger grabs onto her hair, and she smiles. “I love you, Knox Beckett,” she says, kissing him on the forehead.
Is it possible for your heart to be too full of love and happiness and hopes for the future? Mine feels so full it could burst from my chest at any minute.
“We love you, Kendall Dawson,” I whisper in her ear, hugging them both. She smiles through more tears, and that smile tells me we’re going to be okay. We’ll take it one day at a time until we learn to live with our unexpected reality.
* * *
The last three months have been filled with tears and uncertainties. It took Kendall some time to process that she’s a twin and that the man she loves and his son are connected to said twin. I also had some processing to do—I had to decide how long I needed to wait to ask her to marry me.
Knox will be seven months old in a week. It’s hard to believe. He really is starting to look like my little man. It’s been so much fun to see him learn new things and to be able to share that with Kendall. I’m ready for more, and Knox is too; he told me he’s ready to be a big brother, in his own little babbling way.
I talked it over with Knox, and we decided tonight is the night. I called Kendall and invited her over, told her we were having a quiet night in. We are, just the three of us. Hopefully, by the end of the night she’ll be my fiancée, and I can finally convince her to move in with me. I’ve been trying for the last two months, but she still turns me down. I know she’s still leery, and in the back of her mind she feels like she has taken her sister’s family, but she needs to see that we’re her family, Knox and me.
I have everything set up. I bought the frozen lasagna and put it in the Crock-Pot just like she did that first day the three of us spent together. I have the same blanket we used down at the gazebo the night before, washed, folded and waiting for us by the back door. Nothing over the top, just us and how it all started.
I hear her pull in, so I quickly zip up Knox’s hoodie and hand him the red rose, hoping like hell he doesn’t try to eat it.
As soon as she opens the door, we’re standing there, bot
h of us holding a single red rose. I offer her mine and Knox mimics me. “Thank you, handsome.” She leans in and kisses his cheek. He giggles. “And you.” She stands on tiptoes and presses her lips to mine. Knox grunts and pulls on her arm. He’s a little jealous when it comes to Kendall, not that I mind. I love that they’ve formed that bond—makes tonight’s plans even sweeter. We’re already a family; this will just change her last name, make it official.
“How was your day?” I ask.
“Good. It’s been a long week. I was definitely ready for my weekend with my two favorite people,” she says. Knox reaches for her and she beams as she takes him and settles him on her hip.
“We missed you.” I kiss her temple. She stopped spending the night through the week, but from Friday after work until Sunday, she stays here. She still stops by every night, but she said during the week it was just easier with work to stay at her place. She seemed to always forget something—no scrub top, her stethoscope, something. I tried to convince her to move in, and this was her compromise. Hopefully that all changes tonight.
“So, dinner is in the Crock-Pot, and I thought we could take a walk out to the gazebo.”
“That sounds like fun, huh, bud? You want to feed the fish?” She looks up at me. “It’s actually fairly warm out still. We better enjoy it while we can.”
I nod my agreement, grab the blanket, and hold the door open for them. I trail behind as Kendall points out birds and the leaves on the trees. Knox mimics her and points too. Once we reach the gazebo, I set the blanket on the bench and open the bucket of fish food we started keeping out here a few weeks ago. Knox loves to feed the fish. He gets more food on us than he does in the water, but his giggle is worth it.
“Hey, I have to show you the shirt I found for him,” I tell her.
She smiles.
“He’s actually wearing it,” I tell her.
“Did Daddy buy you a new shirt?” she asks him. “He did? Can I see?” She sits on the bench and adjusts him on her lap. I kneel before her and grab his little hand so she can pull down the zipper. “Let’s see the new duds,” she says, pushing the jacket open.