Chapter 32
Gavin
July 27, 2014
“Dr. Hudson, you’re needed in the waiting room stat. We have an emergency.”Maggie, Brooklyn’s older sister, a nurse here in the ER says as she busted through the doctor’s lounge door.
I jump up and throw the first fresh cup of coffee I’ve found all day into the trash. We have been quiet all morning. Now that I finally find fresh coffee there is an emergency? This seriously falls under Murphy’s Law. I run down the hall toward the Waiting Room, my adrenaline pumping. This is what I live for. When I burst through the Waiting Room doors I freeze in place momentarily. What are Hayden and Brooklyn doing in the ER? Hayden stands in front of me in all her pregnant glory beaming from ear to ear. My pregnant wife is so sexy. Brooklyn is standing behind her with a wide smile on her face, too. Wait, does Brooklyn have Hayden’s hospital bag?
“Gav., it’s time my water broke.”She starts to fidget as she looks at me still smiling. It’s time? What does that mean it’s time?“Gavin, did you hear me? I said my water broke.”Broke? Oh hell, broke!
I shake my head as I process what she just said.“Shit sorry, baby, come on let’s get you upstairs.”Realization of what she said finally hit me. She’s in labor. Deni’s in labor. I’ve got to get her upstairs. Damn I’m a fumbling idiot when it comes to her. This is why you don’t treat family. I can’t fucking think straight. I bypass Hayden to take her bag but Brooklyn stops me and points to Hayden.“You help her. I’ll carry the bag.”Brooklyn has a hand clasped over her mouth trying to stifle her laughter.
So I turn to see a laughing Hayden.“Sorry, babe.”I put my arm around her back.“Do you want a wheelchair?”I ask but not waiting for a response I take off for one.
“Gavin! Get over here.”She’s still laughing. That’s good that means she’s not hurting too bad. Stopping my hunt for a wheelchair I run, yes run, back over to her. What if something’s wrong?“Gavin, look at me.”She puts a hand on each side of my face.“You’re going to have to calm down and doctor up. It’s going to start hurting really bad really soon and we both can’t be losing our minds.”She looks me deep in the eyes.“I love you. We’re fine…”Her hands clamp around my face squeezing while her eyes go wide.“Help me walk to the elevator.”She has started speaking slow and I’m not sure if she’s trying to help me understand or if it’s the contraction causing her to smash my cheeks in. Either way I wait until she releases the pressure on my face and guide her to the elevator. As we make our way, I yell back to Maggie,“Page Dr. Hartford. Tell her we are on our way up.”She’s laughing, like holding your stomach doubled over laughing along with a few other nurses and waves me off.“Already taken care of. Try to relax. You’ll be fine.”I know she’s talking to me and not Hayden because I’m the only one freaking out like this, though, so did Jeff when Amy went into labor with their son, Carter, who is now two months old.
As we set into the elevator I mentally chastise myself. Come the fuck on Gavin. You are a doctor for fuck’s sake. Remember all the training you have. You have to be there keeping her calm not the other way around. My thoughts slow and my mind clears.“How are you feeling? How far apart are your contractions?”I start rubbing her belly in soothing circles. I haven’t been able to take my hands off her belly since I found out she was pregnant. Watching her belly grow with our child has been as beautiful as she is.
Her head drops into my chest as she grips the side of my shirt squeezing. I can tell she’s holding her breath so I start muttering to breathe in her ear.
Brooklyn speaks up,“They are coming about 6-8 minutes apart. She’s been having contractions all day.”
“WHAT?”I stop rubbing her belly and look down at her.“Why the hell didn’t you call me?”That kind of pisses me off.
The contraction lets up and Hayden stands up narrowing her eyes at me.“Do you really want to yell at me now, Dr. Hudson? If so you can take your ass back to the ER.”Shit she’s pissed if she’s calling me Dr. Hudson. She can be a little scary when she’s mad so throwing pain in on top of it? Today is going to be interesting.
Immediately I soften my tone.“No, baby I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just worry about you. Have you guys called our parents or Jeff and Amy?”I’m going to have to hide my anger if I’m the last to know my wife is in labor.
“No, I figured you could when we get settled in the room.”
The elevator arrives on the Labor and Delivery floor and we step out. The nurses immediately take Hayden back and check her before they get her set up in a room. I take that moment to call everyone. Which were only two phone calls because mom and dad were at Hayden’s parents, as usual. Brooklyn is already in the room with Hayden when I’m done. We decided Brooklyn would stay in the room with us until it was time to deliver the baby. Then it will be just the two of us.
I’ve only been in the room for a few minutes when Dr. Hartford walks in to check Hayden.“Well Dr. Hudson,”she raises her eyebrow at me examining me for my reaction.“Do you think you will be able to handle this better than Dr. Baker? You look calmer than Maggie described.”
Yeah, thanks a fuck-ton Maggie, I think to myself. Hayden and Brooklyn have hands over their mouths and refuse to look at me as they laugh. Awesome.“Yes, Dr. Hartford. I can control myself.”I know I sound like a sulking child that just got scolded, but damn, I may be a doctor but this is my first kid and the love of my life we’re talking about.
Hayden stops fighting her laughter.“Yeah, I finally had to tell him to doctor up.”This causes Hayden, Brooklyn, Dr. Hartford and the two labor and delivery nurses to join in the laughter.
Walking over I kiss Hayden on the head.“Hey, be nice. You’re my whole world and I get to act like a husband today not a doctor.”
“I know I’m sorry”She soothes and leans up to kiss me. As soon as we do Brooklyn and Dr. Hartford start clearing their throats and scolding us.“Yeah, you two knock it off. That’s how you got here.”Dr. Hartford teases.“Besides I need to check the mommy here.”
Once the doctor is done she tells us Hayden is only four centimeters and she’s giving her Pitocin to regulate her contractions, which have started to slow. She warned us we were in for a long day and evening. Hayden opted not to have an epidural yet because she wanted to be up and moving around. So for the next eight hours we walked the halls, played cards, I gave hand, back and leg massages until my hands cramped. Hayden is a true champ. She stayed pretty normal until we hit the eighth hour. Contractions were much more intense but not as regular as Dr. Hartford would’ve liked. She had Hayden and me walking the halls. One particular contraction was so intense Hayden’s knees started to buckle. We had stopped so Hayden could lean her head on my chest as she always did for support. I had my arms around her, rubbing her back when she reached up and grabbed my arms to keep from falling. I backed her against the wall but didn’t break the position we were in. As the contraction intensified so did her grip on my arms. My girl has a good grip. I’m sure there will be a few bruises when this is all said and done.
As the contraction finally started to let up she looked up at me with murder in her eyes.“You will never get that demon dick near me again. Do you hear me?”She slowly enunciated each word as if she was possessed. I’d be dead right now if looks could kill.
So I did what any good husband would do. I turned my highly-valued parts of my anatomy away from her. With a straight and serious face I said,“Absolutely, no more demon dick for you. I understand.”I don’t think I bit the inside of my cheek well enough to hide all traces of a smirk because the returning growl I received said she wasn’t pleased with me. When the contraction subsided she stood and let go of me. Hayden took two steps over to where Brooklyn was standing with the IV cart she’d been pushing. Hayden snatched the cart away from Brooklyn; I’m guessing because she could see Brooklyn trying not to laugh and headed back in the direction of her room.
“I guess where heading back to the room.”Brooklyn states
�
��I think you’re in trouble, too.”I say to Brooklyn while pointing at the back of my very angry retreating wife and making a terrified face.
Brooklyn shrugs.“Demon dick, huh?”
I shrug,“I guess so.”
She ignored us completely as she waddles back to her room but we stayed close enough to help if she had another contraction, but out of hitting distance. When we arrive back at the room Hayden has decided she’s had enough fun and wants the epidural. It is nine o’clock at night and she’s been in labor for over 10 hours now. Since no one is allowed to be in the room while the anesthesiologist administers the epidural, Mom and Sarah decides now is a good time for Brooklyn and I to head to the cafeteria to eat. Hayden quickly agreed because she is still quite mad at us. Leaning over I take a hold of Hayden’s hands and hold them while I kiss her on the forehead. I’m trying not to get hit here. She refuses to acknowledge, me which is fine. While my lips are still pressed to her forehead I say,“I’ll be right back, baby. My demon dick and I are going to eat, quickly. I love you.”I figure this will make her laugh a little because even if she’s mad at me I can usually use stuff like this to get her to crack a little. It didn’t work this time. It actually had the opposite effect. When I pulled back she was crying. Crying? Shit, now I feel like a real asshole. I sit down on her bed and kiss her palms. Without warning she flings her arms around me and sobs into my neck. I look at Brooklyn and our moms and ask them to give us a minute.
“Shh, please don’t cry.”I rub her back in hopes she’ll calm down and talk to me. After a few minutes her sobs turn to sniffles. I pull her back to wipe away her tears and ask her what’s wrong but before I can her cries start again.
“I can’t do this….I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it….you don’t have a demon dick…this just hurts so bad…I…I feel like I’m on fire…and I…I…I’m going to be a bad mother…and…and…”I pull her back to my chest and rock her.
“Baby, you are going to be a great mother. You are kind, sweet and caring. You will protect our little one with every fiber of your being. I have no doubt you will love our child and be the greatest mommy on earth because that’s just who you are.”I kiss her forehead and both eyes.“Don’t worry about any of that. I’ll be here to help you every step of the way. You are going to be the best mom ever. I promise.”I hug her tightly reveling in the feel of her head buried in my neck.“And don’t for one second think I’m mad at you. I’m not mad at you. Besides, you could never stay away from my demon dick.”Hayden lets out a watery laugh.“Now let me see that beautiful smile of yours I love.”As soon as she smiles I kiss her a deep soul, heart connecting kiss.“You good now?”She doesn’t say anything but nods. Soon after, the anesthesiologist enters the room.“I’m going to grab something to eat. I’ll be right back, okay?”She nods and I head out after speaking to Curt, the anesthesiologist. He promises to take good care of my girl and I know he will. He’s a good guy.
When we get back to Hayden’s room she is much more comfortable. Our parents are in the room along with Jeff and Amy. She’s laughing and talking animatedly with them. As I walk in Amy is filling them in on some of hers and Jeff’s more entertaining parts of the delivery including the part where Jeff, a doctor mind you, passed out. Apparently, Amy’s epidural wore off shortly before it was time to push.
We continue to talk to a little while longer before Hayden begins to yawn. Just as she yawns for a second time the nurse walks in and kicks everyone out except Brooklyn and me. She checks Hayden’s progress and then tells us all to get some sleep, we aren’t too far from‘go time’as she calls it. Hayden snuggles against me as best as she can as Brooklyn settles in on the couch. Trying to make my wife–I love calling her that, and yes I know I sound like a pussy but I don’t care–as comfortable as possible I run my fingers through her hair. Surprisingly, it doesn’t take her long to drift off. Those are some damn good drugs they gave her.
It doesn’t feel like we’ve been asleep long, actually about two hours, when an alarms sounds on the machine monitoring the baby’s vitals. I look over and realize our baby’s heart beat has decreased. The nurse comes in immediately readjusting Hayden. After several attempts have failed, I’m starting to get worried. My, along with Hayden and Brooklyn’s, anxiety spikes when Dr. Hartford walks in wearing a serious look on her face.
I know that look. I get that look. It’s the look of a doctor when shit isn’t good and you have to act fast to prevent bigger problems. She explains the baby is in distress due to the possibility of the cord being wrapped around its neck. The whole time Dr. Hartford keeps giving me looks telling me we’ll talk in a few. I kiss Hayden before they wheel her out, promising to be right behind her and everything will be okay.
Just after Hayden leaves the room Dr. Hartford turns to me,“Stay calm. Don’t let your doctor brain run away with you. I can handle this. Hayden and the baby will be fine. I’m going to scrub in now. As soon as you are dressed the nurse will take you back.”With a stern look on her face she says,“Do not come back until the nurse brings you back. Today you are daddy, not Dr. Hudson. Got it?”I agree and she heads back to take care of my whole world.
As she leaves the room, Brooklyn walks up to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders pulling me into a hug. I nearly loose it as she whispers everything will be fine and Hayden is strong. Brooklyn doesn’t hug. Frankly, she doesn’t touch anyone but Hayden. No matter how close I’ve become to her and look at her as a sister, she’s still very guarded. So for B to hug me tells me she’s really scared. She promises to update our family so I can focus on Hayden. I nod my head in agreement knowing I will likely break if I say anything. As the nurse walks in, Brooklyn heads to update everyone. I quickly get dressed in some scrubs the nurse brings me and then follow her to Hayden and my baby. I walk into the surgical delivery room and see the fear on Deni’s sweet face. My fears take a backseat and my focus is solely on getting Hayden through this.
Chapter 33
Brooklyn
July 27, 2014
Leaning against the wall in the waiting room I’m seriously lost. I feel so pathetic. It’s taking every ounce of strength I have to keep it together. After the Gavin’s cat lady crazy ex threatened and then actually tried to attack Hayden and Gavin I wanted to lose my shit. I, however, kept it together. I didn’t tell Hayden how scared I was I would lose her. Now, they had to rush her into an emergency C-section because something is wrong with the baby. They could lose the baby. They could lose Hayden. It happens every day. I can’t lose Hayden or her baby, too. I’ve lost too many people I love.
Now the life of my niece or nephew is on the line along with my best friend’s, my sister. We may not be sisters by birth but we are sisters by choice. We know everything about each other. She is one of the very few people I’ve let in fully. Realistically, she is the only person I’ve let in fully. I even keep my grandparents and sister on the outside of the wall I’ve formed around my heart. It hurts too much to let people in, but Hayden never allowed me to keep her out. She is the one person who truly knows me.
She is my strength. She is the one who proves I still have the ability to trust and depend on others. Our friendship gives me hope that one day I’ll be able to let go of some of the control and let what her and Gavin have in my life, too.
I hear the sniffles come from across the room. I know Gavin’s mom has her head buried in his dad’s neck with his arms wrapped around her holding her tight, offering his strength and comfort. Just like I know Hayden’s mom has her head resting on her dad’s chest with his arms around her, too. Amy and Jeff are the same. I don’t even need to look up and see them to know these couples are leaning on each other for support; whispering positive words of love and encouragement. This is what they do. They are a family and supporting each other is their number one priority. If I lose Hayden I lose my family. Yet here I stand, worried about myself while my best friend is fighting for her unborn child. Hayden is so much stronger than I am. Everyone thinks I’m tough as nails, even
a bitch at times, but only because I’m too afraid to let in anyone.
As I stand here, holding the wall up, scared out of my mind, I feel him walk up beside me. He doesn’t say a word or touch. He simply stands next to me, quietly offering his strength. I don’t dare look up at him because I might cave. He’s become a weakness.
“What are you doing here?”I ask him quietly, but not unkindly. I don’t have it in me to cover my fear right now.
“Hayden’s nurse called me in. She knows Gavin and I are friends and as a crisis counselor for the hospital she thought you guys might appreciate the support.”His response is soft, gentle.“How are you holding up?”
I still don’t raise my head up to look at anyone, only offering a slight shake from side to side.
“She’s strong. They are all strong. They will make it through this just fine.”He reaches over and takes a hold of the hand I have hanging to my side. We stand their quietly like that for a little while. Him squeezing my hand every so often.
“You can go talk to everyone else if you need to. You don’t have to stand with me.”I tell him, my voice shaky.
“They’re doing ok. I’ve already checked.”He said but I don’t know when or how as he walked straight over to me as soon as he entered the waiting room. I don’t push though. I stand there instead absorbing the heat from his hand.“You know it’s okay to be afraid for yourself as much as them. You know that right?”
I break. With his words I break. My hands come up of their own accord, covering my face as I start to cry. I do not cry. I haven’t cried since I was a young girl and lost everything. I’m so damn scared. I’m scared I’m going to lose my best friend. I’m scared I’m going to lose my niece or nephew, my God-child. He reaches over wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me into his chest. His strong arms wrap around me holding me tight. He offers me the support I can only get from Hayden because she’s the only one I allow in. I continue to cry as he holds me tight and rubs my hair.
Lilies Page 33