by Amy Sumida
“Then we need to prove his innocence,” Conri declared. “I'll go check out Taboo.”
“Hold on there, horn-dog,” Gradh grabbed Conri's arm before he could leave. “We'll go check it out together.”
“Don't you trust me, sweetheart?” Conri teased his girlfriend.
“Not around a bunch of naked women,” Gradh said.
“Fair enough,” Conri conceded with a grin. “Anyone else care to join us?”
A bunch of hands shot up. Taboo was Daxon's strip club. It catered to both humans and faeries, featuring both male and female dancers. It was also in LA, where all of Daxon's businesses were.
“We're all driving to LA,” I said. “And we will all investigate Taboo.”
“All of us?” Killian waggled his brows at me.
“All of us,” I confirmed. “But first, I need to talk to Dylan, and have him assign a new guard for Fell.”
“I'll get us a company van while you do that,” Killian offered. “Meet me in the parking garage.”
“Okay.”
Half of the Guard went with Killian, and the other half went up to the top floor with me. Dylan's secretary, who was technically my father's secretary too, smiled when she saw me, and let me in after a quick announcement through her intercom. My Guard waited outside.
Uncle Dylan was seated at his huge, wooden desk, backed by glass walls that gave a magnificent view of San Francisco, and faced with painted scenes of the Unseelie Forest on the other two. He looked up when I walked in.
“Did you interrogate the redcap?” Was his greeting.
“Hello, Uncle Dylan,” I said sweetly. “And yes, I interrogated him. According to him, it was meant to be a kidnapping, not a murder.”
“Really?” Dylan put on one of his rare, surprised expressions. “Why?”
“Fell says that Daxon abducted his sister first, and then used her to force him to abduct Aideen.”
“Who's Fell?”
“The redcap.”
“Ah.”
“Ah?”
“Redcaps always choose odd names,” Dylan mused. “Fell; that's a verb.”
“That's all you have to say about it?” I asked. “'That's a verb?'”
“Well, I assume you'll be looking into these allegations and determining their validity?” He made it more of a statement than a question.
“Of course.”
“Then scry me when you have the truth,” Dylan said crisply. “I need to know the level of torture to perform on the redcap.”
“No; you don't. I'll be torturing him if it's required,” I snarled. “Aideen's my friend.”
“And mine as well,” Dylan snapped with narrowed eyes. “I've known Aideen Evergreen for far longer than you have, Niece, and I have loved her for most of that time.”
I lifted my brows in surprise.
“Not in the way of consorts,” he huffed.
“Yeah; I know you don't swing that way, Uncle D,” I said with a smile. “I just thought that maybe you had tried women before you decided they weren't for you.”
“Who said that I don't have sex with women?” Dylan scowled.
“I... uh...” I stammered. “I thought you were gay?”
Dylan burst out laughing; another rare treat.
“Why would I limit myself to men?” Dylan asked in affectionate derision. I know that sounds impossible, but my uncle was an expert at sounding caring while he made you feel like an idiot.
“I... um... because men are awesome?” I asked. “And they have penises?”
“Are you asking me? Because you sound uncertain.”
“No?”
Dylan laughed again. “Don't look so shocked, Seren. We fairies live a very long time. If you don't find a mate after the first few centuries, you start to check out other options. Pleasure is pleasure, and love is priceless, no matter where it's found.”
“That's pretty romantic for a scientist,” I noted.
“I'm a fairy scientist.” He smiled. “We can be romantic.”
“Evidently.” I scowled. “So; you do love Aideen like that?”
“Seren, please pay attention,” Dylan huffed. “I clearly said that I did not love her in that manner.”
“Yeah but then you went on about not limiting yourself to men. It was very confusing. I'm still not sure what's happening right now.”
“Aideen is a very good friend of mine,” Dylan said patiently. “So is her mother. I was ecstatic when your father started dating Eibhleann. And conversely, I was furious when I found out about Aideen's attack. They are like family to me.”
“All right, Uncle Dylan,” I gave in. “If what Fell says isn't true, we can take turns beating on him.”
“I don't get to hurt him if it's true?” He gaped at me.
“No.”
“Why ever not?”
“Because if it's true, Fell only attacked Aideen to save his sister,” I growled.
“I don't give one fairy fuck over his motivations, Seren,” Dylan growled. “That redcap made a choice, and it was the wrong one. He hurt my friend, and that means that he hurt me.”
“At least hold off until I return,” I bargained.
“Fine.” Dylan made a sour face. “I'm assuming that you need me to send a fresh guard downstairs?”
“If you wouldn't mind.” I headed toward the door. “I'm taking Killian with me.”
“And my van.”
“And my father's van,” I corrected.
Dylan smirked. “As you say. Good luck, Seren.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
It was nearly 8 AM when we left San Francisco. I know; the time difference is confusing. Taigh na a'Grian was ten hours ahead of San Francisco. So, even though I had left around 4 PM—I know, that seems early for a sunset, but that's how it is in that region of Seelie in November—I arrived right before the sun rose in San Fran. My Guard had eaten breakfast while I interrogated Fell, but I hadn't, so we stopped at a chain restaurant on our way to LA. That meant that we didn't roll into town until after 2 PM. Still, we had a few hours to kill until Taboo opened. It wasn't one of those strip clubs that opened for lunch. Taboo waited until the sun set before it got naughty; because it was classy like that.
I wanted to go and see Daxon, but I couldn't until I knew one way or the other if I could trust him. So, instead of heading to Enchantments, I had Killian drive us to the first burger joint he saw. We were all hungry again anyway. But even with lingering over our meal, we were still finished by 3:30 and had no idea what to do with the rest of our time.
“We could do a little sightseeing,” Killian suggested.
“You want to make like a tourist until the fairy strip club opens?” I asked him dryly.
“Yeah.”
“I don't even know where to go.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? It's LA; there's Universal Studios for starters,” Killian suggested with a smile.
“You want to take a bunch of fairy knights to a theme park?” I asked with the same scorn I used with my last question. Shit; maybe that whole affectionate derision thing was in my DNA.
“Who doesn't? That sounds ten kinds of awesome!” Killian shot back. Then he looked at the Star's Guard. “You guys ever been to a theme park?”
“What's the theme?” Torquil asked. “Is it like a costume ball?”
“Oh, dear Danu,” I murmured.
“Movies are the theme!” Killian grinned. “But with our limited amount of time, I don't think we should bother with the small stuff. I recommend we go straight to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.”
“Wizarding?” Ainsley asked. “There's magic in this human park?”
“Human magic; the kind made from science and illusion,” I said to Ainsley. “But it can be fun.”
“Then I would like to see this Wizarding World,” Ainsley declared.
“Oh hell.” I rolled my eyes. “Why not?”
Killian whooped and then herded us out the door of the burger joint and into the van. In under twent
y minutes, we were walking through the World of Harry Potter. It turned out that tickets needed to be purchased in advance, but that wasn't an issue when you could turn yourself invisible. And we didn't even need a cloak.
The looks on the faces of my Star's Guard as we navigated the magically medieval streets was worth the trouble of maneuvering through the crowds. Not only was it the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, it was also Christmas in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Hogwarts was all decked out; fake snow covered the rooftops, boughs of garland were hung with ribbons across shop windows in Diagon Alley, and the Hogwarts Express had a wreath affixed to its front. We explored the shops, bought cheesy souvenirs, and basically acted like ten-year-olds for a few hours. I have to admit; it was pretty amazing.
Our first visit was to the sorting hat, where a lady on a stage, with a microphone curving around her cheek, held a hat over each of my knight's heads while a disembodied voice proclaimed which house they were in. They thought this was great fun, and we had to buy the necessary scarves to go with each of their houses. I took a picture of Torquil in his Ravenclaw scarf to send to Abby. I knew she'd never believe me without proof. The funniest part was; Torquil loved the scarf and thought he looked very debonair in it. I may have encouraged his opinion a bit.
Then I took them to Olivander's, and that's when a bit of human hocus pocus turned my stalwart fairy soldiers into children. At first, they thought it was ridiculous to need a tool to manifest magic, but then I reminded them of charms, wards, and fairy relics. Those magical items had enough similarities to wizard wands to make the Guard reconsider. But before I could continue talking them into buying a wand, the shopkeeper spotted us. With our strange clothes and odd looks, paired with Potter paraphernalia, the man must have thought he had found the perfect customer to target.
The shopkeeper—dressed in robes and a wizard's hat—pulled Ainsley aside to help him choose his wand through a grand spectacle. The actor stayed in character the whole time; mesmerizing and slightly confusing Ainsley—who took everything said as the absolute truth. Ainsley gaped at the shopkeeper as he waxed poetic about unicorn hair and the heartstrings of dragons, which were used to make his precious wands. Ainsley's wide eyes went to the stacks of wand boxes towering around us, and the rest of the Guard drew in closer to watch the performance avidly.
The shopkeeper pulled out his first selection and handed Ainsley a wooden wand with dramatic flair. He instructed Ainsley to wave the wand at a specific group of boxes and say; “Wingardium leviosa,” to see if the wand was the right tool for him.
“Wing-guardium levy-oh sa?” Ainsley repeated the words back to clarify.
The actor was pleased as punch to have someone playing along with him, and he rolled with it.
“Oh, it's levi-oh saaaah, not levy-osa,” the shopkeeper gave the famous Hermione line right on cue, and the humans around us chuckled.
Ainsley frowned at the human spectators—unable to see the humor—but nodded seriously to the actor before he swished and flicked the wand at the boxes as he repeated the phrase perfectly. The boxes jerked, some thrashing out of the shelves, and the shelves themselves broke, startling both Ainsley and the Star's Guard. Killian and I barely contained our laughter; leaning into each other to hide our smiles.
“No matter, no matter,” the shopkeeper comforted the distraught Ainsley. “It happens all the time. Your wand is here somewhere, I assure you, and we will find it!”
He spoke another chant, flicking his own wand at the shelves, and they righted themselves.
“What in all the realms is going on here?” Torquil whispered with abject horror.
“It'll be all right, Torquil.” I patted his hand. “Just watch.”
“Now, this wand has a core of unicorn hair.” The shopkeeper presented Ainsley with another wand. “If you could just concentrate on that bell beside my door there”—he pointed to a door at the top of the stairs, behind his display counter—“and flick your wand at it.”
Ainsley took the wand reverently and flicked it at the bell. The bell started chiming, and the shopkeeper seemed happy for a moment, but then the chiming got louder and louder until we were all cringing, and the actor called out another chant to stop the ruckus. He started going on about how it's not always clear which wand to choose as it's the wand who chooses the wizard. Harry Potter music started playing softly around us as the shopkeeper looked at Ainsley with wide eyes.
My Star's Guard was staring around the room suspiciously, but they couldn't look away for long; they were utterly fascinated by the strange wand purveyor.
“I wonder,” the shopkeeper said with intrigue as he fished a box out from a shelf tucked beneath the stairs.
He brushed off the box, carefully took removed a beautiful wood wand, and held it up a moment to display it before he presented it to Ainsley. As soon as Ainsley took the wand, a light came on above him like Anu himself were giving his approval, and the music came to its dramatic apex. Ainsley's jaw dropped open, and he stared at the wand with wonder.
“Ah!” The shopkeeper proclaimed. “This is your wand! It is made of holly, which tells me that you are a very good wizard indeed, with a love of nature and animals.”
“That's true,” Ainsley whispered, his eyes as round as they could get.
“It has the tail feather of a phoenix within the shaft,” the shopkeeper went on. “You are truly destined to make your mark, young wizard.” Then the man bent closer and listened to the wand as if it were speaking to him. He nodded in agreement of the silent conversation, and then reverently reclaimed the wand and placed it within its box. “My apprentice will explain all of your wand options to you, and answer any questions.” He handed the box off to another man beside him and gestured for Ainsley to follow. “Off you go.”
Ainsley walked after the man in a daze while the audience applauded. Before the applause could die down, Torquil strode up to the counter, slapped his hand down on the wood surface, and demanded to be assisted in choosing a wand next. The actor blinked in surprise, but handled it professionally, going through the whole routine again with Torquil. Little did he know that he'd have to perform for each member of my Guard. At one point, he cast me a confused and slightly terrified look, so I slipped him a couple of hundreds to make up for the trouble.
“They're from another country,” I whispered to the actor. “You're making their day. Thank you for your patience.”
He beamed at me, pocketed the tip, and threw himself into the performance with even more gusto.
I waited till we were driving away from Universal Studios before I explained the “magic” to them. I nearly didn't—they were just so damn cute—but the thought of my friends swishing about their wands expectantly drove me to confess. I just couldn't be that mean.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Taboo's doorman recognized us and let us in ahead of the line. I was shocked by that. Not by him recognizing us, but by there being a line for a strip club.
“This isn't just any strip club,” Conri said when I voiced my surprise. “This is the strip club. It's the crème de la crème of naked nightclubs; a sexy, sophisticated place to watch some truly exotic dancers and meet beautiful people. The front section caters to humans—with dancers who glamour over any obvious fairy traits—but there's another area just for us fairies, and back there, they let it all hang out.”
Conri waggled his brows suggestively at me.
“Wonderful.” I sighed. “Let's just find the manager.”
“There are male dancers too, Your Highness,” Conri pointed at a gold plaque that had the sex symbol for men on it; that circle with the arrow coming off it, otherwise known as the symbol for Mars.
“I guess we're already in the Venus section,” I muttered as I glanced at the display of female flesh on the stage to my right.
There were numerous stages in the Venus section, each with a different woman on it, performing in unique ways. They weren't just your average strippers; I'll give them that. Even under
their glamours, the fairy women were stunning, and they sensuously slid their clothing off as if disrobing for a lover, not a bunch of salivating voyeurs. They also had acts; full-on performances. It wasn't just women taking off their clothes; it was more burlesque than striptease. Still, it wasn't my thing, even if there had been men up there. Watching people—other than my lovers—strip made me feel awkward. Like being shown a cream puff that I couldn't eat. Sorry; that was probably a bad analogy. I turned away from the stages and caught the arm of a passing waitress.
“I need to speak with the manager,” I said to her.
“Sure thing,” she purred, then her eyes widened. “Oh, Ambassador, it's you. I'll take you to Tim; he's in charge.”
The woman led us expertly through the throng of well-dressed humans, and then past a looming bouncer who guarded a large, black door with a gold handle. The bouncer opened the door for us before we were within five feet of him, and we strode into the fairy-only section of Taboo. Just past the entrance, I stumbled and then froze.
Fairies were more at ease with their sexuality, and there was no need to separate the sexes. Stages featured men and women, some together, doing things that made me swallow past some startling dryness in my throat. There were all sorts of fairies performing, using their skills to their best advantage. I cocked my head as a kitsune teased a glastig with her tails.
“How does she bend like that?” I whispered.
“You okay, Seren?” Killian asked with laughter in his voice.
“I'm fine.” I rushed onward as my face flushed.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a centaur stroking his shaft to the delight of a bevy of brownies, and I nearly fainted. The man was literally hung like a horse; I'll let you figure out for yourself just how much he had to stroke.