by Debra Kayn
"Meeting's over." Kurt stood following Remmy out of the room. "Let's talk."
"Talk happened at the table." Remmy glanced at Kurt. "I'm going to find Natalie."
"She's with Risa in the main room." Kurt stopped Remmy from walking. "I want to put Cutter on Natalie, twenty-four/seven. That's on top of the other men if she leaves the property."
"I'll be with her." Remmy studied his president. "Do you know something you haven't told the others?"
"No." Kurt's eyes hardened. "But I won't have another Bantorus woman marked by Los Li, and Cutter's the best out of all of us if guns and fists don't work. If someone gets close enough to nab her, Cutter will stop them."
Understanding dawned for Remmy. Kurt wasn't only dealing with the pressure that Los Li was making a move. His president had Risa's happiness on his mind. Last summer was too fresh of a memory and his old lady's scar a daily reminder.
"Thanks." Remmy clasped Kurt's shoulder. "If ever a group of assholes needed to die out, Los Li is the one. The mafia gets stronger every year. It's going to take mediation or the territory war will escalate. I do not want Bantorus going down."
"I hear you, brother. Los Li has touched everyone in my family. I won't let it touch anyone else." Kurt walked off ahead of Remmy.
He closed his eyes briefly against the pain of the past. Expanding the MC, widening the territory, and enlisting more men for the club only brought Los Li closer. For five years after Taylor was kidnapped, things had settled down. Bantorus became comfortable, and then hell broke loose.
"Not this time," he muttered, striding into the main room.
Natalie sat on the couch near the pool table with the Silver Girls. He continued her way, taking in the subdued mood in the room. The girls had experienced the exposure to threats, attacks, and having the Sterling building in town where they ran their adult entertainment business burnt down with them inside. Natalie had no direct exposure to Los Li, only the aftermath.
"Lady," he said, grabbing her attention.
She turned and stood, gazing at him intently. He held out his hand, and drew her around the pool table.
"You okay?" He looped his arm around her shoulders.
She nodded. "A little out of it after everything that's happened today."
"That's what I'm going to take care of." He led her across the floor, up the stairs, and into the bedroom. "Stay right here."
He left the room, shutting the door, and took the steps two at a time. On the main level, Ink looked at him curiously, and he winked. The boy would learn that slowing down was better than ignoring life with a handful of women fawning over him when there were more important things like one woman who'd centered her world around him.
He walked into the kitchen, glad to see the coffee maker on and full. Taking down two cups, he fixed one for Natalie and one for himself, before returning to the upstairs.
He kicked the door shut, and moved toward her. Natalie sat propped up in bed.
"Here," he said, handing her a steaming mug.
"What's this?" She inhaled the steam. "It's a little late for coffee, huh?"
"It'll relax us." He plopped down beside her, stretching his legs out. "Lean on me."
Natalie scooted over, and lay against his side, snuggling under his arm. A deep sigh came from her. "This is nice."
He sipped his coffee, enjoying the warmth heating up his throat. His shoulders tense for the last few hours, he needed a distraction. "Tell me about your parents."
"What about them?" She drank and continued. "They've lived in a retirement community in Delaware in a little single story duplex for the last fifteen or so years, and ride around in a golf cart most days."
"Do you see them often?" he asked.
She balanced her cup. "No. I do talk to them a couple of times a month though. They're happy and enjoying life."
"You had money. Why didn't you visit them?" he asked.
She gazed up at him. "Full of questions tonight, aren't you?"
"Curious," he muttered.
She shifted and said, "I love them. They love me, and I had a great childhood if that's what you're wondering. After I got married, I just put space between us. I miss them, but when Robert was alive, I wasn't a happy person. My parents, if they would've seen me, would've noticed my situation and questioned me. They would've worried, and there was nothing they could do, because Robert forbid me to speak to anyone about his problems...because he didn't believe he had any. It was easier to keep a long distance relationship going with mom and dad than to face the truth of how I was living. In some ways, I feared they'd believe they'd failed raising me right, when it really had nothing to do with them, but me."
"Makes sense, but now you can visit them," he said.
She jerked her gaze back to him. "Yeah—a smile growing—I can. I'd like that."
"We'll make it happen." He crossed his ankles.
She leaned closer and kissed him. "You've mentioned that both of your parents are dead, but do you have any other relatives?"
"Just Bantorus. I rode off when I was eighteen, and never looked back. The club is all I've needed."
"I'm sorry you didn't have it easier," she said.
"It is what it is." He leaned his head back on the headboard and set his mug on his thigh, balancing it with his hand. "Ever thought about having kids?"
Natalie choked on her coffee and sat up coughing. He rubbed his hand along her back. "W-where did that come from?"
"Everybody thinks about it," he said. "Isn't that what you women do?"
"Right, but not everyone talks about it."
He thought about it, but he was still curious. "Does that mean you won't?"
She inhaled deeply. "At one time, I would've done anything to have a child, but I made the choice not to bring a kid up in a household that was unstable, much to Robert's disappointment in me. Then when I was thirty-two years old, I had some...bleeding problems caused by endometriosis, it's painful and made those once a month visits turn into two-three week visits. I ended up having a hysterectomy. Everything is fine now, but having children isn't going to happen, and at my age, I don't think about it much anymore. I'm okay with that."
"I don't think there was ever a time that I had a desire to settle down and have a kid with someone. The biker life...it's rough for kids. I've seen some make it to being an adult, like Kurt, Lee, Lilly, and embrace the lifestyle, and I've seen men lose their kid at eighteen, because they took off and wanted nothing to do with the club. It's hard and I've seen strong men break when their family life falls apart. I enjoyed watching Kurt and Lee grow up, and Lilly. There're a few more kids that called me Uncle Remmy, and I enjoyed them too." He caressed her arm with his thumb. "I don't think I'm missing out on anything by not having my own kids when I can watch and help the Bantorus families. I imagine soon, even the Federal Charter will have little ones running under the pool table and interrupting meetings when the guys settle down."
She drank the last of the coffee, leaned over, and set the cup on the nightstand, turning to face him. He put his hand on her thigh. The coffee had done the trick. She was wide-eyed and alert.
"Change of subject." She gathered his hand. "What do the fire tattoos on all the Bantorus members mean?"
He rubbed his shoulder, remembering the day he got his ink. "Flames represent Bantorus MC, but everyone has them for a different reason and on different body parts. Mine are on both shoulders and down my arms to remind me of the weight of my responsibility for the rest of my life...I carry them on my shoulders, never to let them down."
"It's a burden?" she asked.
"Never." He put his empty cup to the side. "A reminder of goals, of my life."
She laid her hand on his stomach and curled against him. "There are many things about your life I envy."
He thought about that. Most of the time, he dwelled on the chaos. The sweet things came far and few between, but those sweet times, he held close. The laughter around the pool table. The quiet talks with his brothers
when guards were down and vulnerabilities told a tale. The drunken ramblings of a man infatuated with a woman. The rolling thunder of twenty plus Harley's breaking dawn. Those moments filled his life and made him richer.
"You're a part of everything now," he whispered. "You've got a family, the Silver Girls, and you'll make new memories that make the shit we're going through seem pale."
She tilted her head. "I've got you."
His chest warmed. Damned if she knew exactly what he needed.
"Give me your tongue, lady," he said, hooking her neck and dragging her up his body.
Her body complied and melted against his. He tasted her mouth, slow and softly. He'd kill anyone who tried to take what he had away from him.
Chapter Twenty Five
Natalie pulled back, but Remmy grabbed her wrist bringing her hand to his mouth. She shivered at the stroke of his tongue on the palm of her hand. She couldn't think past the influence of Remmy's sensitive kiss and how he only had to touch her and she was hot and bothered.
He'd promised to entertain her during the long hours spent inside the clubhouse the last few days, and she wasn't disappointed.
“You and me. Nobody else.” He rolled her on top of him.
She braced herself on the mattress and let her hair fall down on his chest. “When we're in this room, it's real. I'm still getting used to having the others around all the time, but when we're alone, I never want to leave this bed.”
“Then don't.” He drove his tongue in her mouth, sweeping sweet, unyielding pressure against her lips.
Natalie moaned, the sound escaping from deep in her soul, heated every hidden part of her. Remmy orchestrated her body, highly tuning her to the perfect frenzy. His whiskers tickled her cheeks, his thigh pressed between her legs, and the rugged smell of leather and a man who rode in the wind overwhelmed her.
“Baby—” She turned her head away from his attention. She dug her fingers into the bedspread to keep from collapsing on him fully.
He grasped her hips, pressing her pelvis against his body. Every time she softened and called him that, he wanted to possess her. “Yeah, lady?”
“I want you.”
"You've got—"
She kissed him, holding nothing from him. He murmured low into her mouth. She knew exactly what he said. He was hard, hot and wanting her in the same way she wanted him.
She stripped off her clothes, and then helped him off with the rest of his, flinging shirts, jeans, shorts, and boots all over the bedroom. Her arousal only heightened by his laughter. The sensations whirled through her body, making her light and excited. Her mind focused on Remmy, and making one of those moments he'd promised her
She lay on the bed and he followed her down. The size and strength of him, his wide shoulders, so perfectly formed, they begged for her hands. She lifted her hand and grazed his skin, but her flesh broke out in goosebumps instead over how beautiful he was to her. He had more scars, more stories in his other tats, that it'd take years for her to hear the stories.
He nibbled his way down her throat and lower to the plumpness of her breasts. He hovered above her.
Moisture coated her pussy at the sight of his tongue licking his lips. She arched off the bed needing his mouth on her.
Delving her fingers into his hair, she bit down on her lip, luxuriating in the consuming realization of being Remmy's woman. When his hand moved down her abdomen and then skimmed across her moist heat, her sex pulsed and she groaned for more.
“Please.” She stroked his back, pulling him closer.
A swarm of tickles fluttered in her core wanting touched. She wanted more. She wanted him deep inside of her, stroking her depths, connecting with her in a way only they shared.
He braced himself on his arms. His dark penetrating need smoldered in his eyes, staring back at her. His body glistened with pent up desire, so powerful she couldn’t glance away.
She whispered, “I need you.”
A low, sexy growl rumbled his chest. With an attentiveness she’d never seen on his face, he slid into her with such gentleness, it brought tears to her eyes.
She moved with him, the sparks igniting into little bursts of pleasure. She whimpered as he stroked her insides, taking her to a place only he knew about. His jaw muscles spasmed in tight control, growing more desperate with each thrust. Higher and higher, he brought her around, faster and harder.
Aching and wound tight, she reached her peak and screamed his name. In the back of her mind, she heard him call her, but the moment suspended her in time. She lost herself in the rapidly constricting climax, leaving her breathless. Their sated bodies meshed into one.
He rolled to his side and kissed her once again. She clung to him fiercely as he stroked her hair down her back, soothing her as she came down from the high of their lovemaking.
Overcome with emotions, she said, "I love you. I know sometimes we won't agree and I don't always know how your brain works, but I will always love you. You know what I've learned?"
"What?" he said.
It's not about loving someone through everything, but about seeing them as your future, no matter what. I look at you and I see the rest of my life. You're not a want, you're a need. I need you every day, and that's not a choice I make, but a dream I'm living."
"Love you too, lady," he said, not even hesitating.
She pushed up on her elbow and gazed into his face. “I like hearing that."
He chuckled at her disbelief. "Put you on the back of my Harley, took you home to Pitnam and my family, and I've told you numerous times that I'd take care of you and you were staying. Obviously, you haven't been listening to me."
"When did you realize?" she asked.
He sighed on a laugh. "About the time you kneed me in the balls, lady. You ruined me for anyone else."
She closed her eyes, content to know she'd ruined him. The thought of him with any other woman or spreading his attention to others brought out a side of her that she'd never discovered before. A vicious, mean, and frightening side of her. In fact, she'd knife a bitch for even looking at him.
She smiled against his chest, overcome with good feelings.
"What's funny?" He yawned.
She wrapped her arm around his waist, too tired to move. "I was thinking that if any woman ever looks at you, the way I look at you, I might have to kill her, and that goes against everything I believe. I'm not a violent person. But, I couldn't handle losing you."
"You ain't going to have to kill anyone." He kissed the top of her head. "Now, go to sleep. You're exhausted, and I can't even move because you wore me out."
With that happy thought, she slept, dreaming about motorcycle rides across the country to see her parents, better equipment for her classes, and all the time in the world to spend in bed with her man.
The next morning, she rolled over in bed and reached for Remmy. His side of the mattress, cold and empty, startled her fully awake. She sat up, throwing off the blanket. Anxiety filled her. He always stayed in bed with her, and she was always the one who woke up first.
She hurried and showered, leaving the door open in case Remmy came back and she could hear him. But, he still hadn't returned when she'd finished dressing, dried her hair, and put her makeup on.
Her flipflops clapped against the bottom of her feet as she left the room and hurried down the stairs. On the main floor, she spotted Remmy sitting at a table with his back to her. She paused, studying him. He sat with Shari, alone, with only half the lights on in the main room. Jealousy gnawed at her stomach, because the setting was too intimate and familiar for her not to worry.
She thought about clearing her throat or walking back up a few steps and calling his name to warn them that she was in the room. In the end, she strode toward them, making sure her flipflops remained silent.
Shari lifted her gaze and noticed her first, smiling and obviously happy to see her. She looked to Remmy, who turned his head and stood, holding out his hand. She slipped her fingers into his palm
and held on tight.
"Morning, lady," he whispered, leaning in for a kiss.
She mumbled something and looked down. He lifted her chin. "Breakfast is done in the kitchen. Let's go grab you something to eat."
"This morning it's huckleberry pancakes courtesy of Jojo." Shari stood and scooted in her chair. "The best you'll have in all of Federal."
She mustered a smile and turned, letting Remmy lead her to the kitchen. In the hallway, he stopped. She gazed up at him, wondering if she missed something or if he and Shari were closer friends than she'd imagined.
"Stop those thoughts, Nat." He tilted his head. "I came down here to eat, because I wanted you to catch up on all the sleep you've been missing. I know you haven't been getting many hours and with all the shit going on, you need your rest. Shari has clean-up duty, so she was hanging around with me to keep me company until everyone was done eating."
She bit her lip. Nothing even remotely suspicious was going on when she had spotted Remmy and Shari, and they were in the main room where anyone could walk in on them. "Nevermind, I'm just jumpy from spending so much time inside the club. I was also hoping you would be in bed with me this morning."
"Yeah, I get that, and I'll make it up to you after breakfast." He clamped his hand to the back of her neck. "Let's get you fed."
His possessive need to touch her, calm her, helped settle her illogical thoughts. Her stomach, no longer queasy, growled. "I'm hungry this morning."
"Good." He grinned. "Jojo's huckleberry pancakes are killer. You'll love them."
"They sound good," she said.
The aroma of the kitchen further validated her opinion. She inhaled deeply, taking in the berries, the batter, the warmth of the room, and sat at the scarred table that had served many members. Remmy grabbed a plate, stacked three pancakes, a scoop of scrambled eggs out of the warmer, and poured her a cup of coffee, then joined her at the table.
After two bites, she smiled and reached for the syrup container. "It's wonderful."
Remmy sat back, watching her, wearing that contented smile that warmed her. "Can you cook?"