by Debra Kayn
"We were all trying to protect innocent people. Knowledge of the murders get out to the public, the mine closes, and Los Li targets everyone involved. Natalie, you, Bantorus, the sheriff's department, we were all at risk. There were too many people still living who needed protected for the truth to come out about what happened to your brothers." Remmy turned to Will. "Even though we tried our best, Los Li came back to Federal, and here we are."
"I knew my brother wouldn't...," Will whispered. "Does Natalie know?"
Remmy nodded. "She's known for a while now, but to protect you, she kept you believing that it was a murder-suicide. She wanted to tell you, but after thinking about it, seeing the devastation Los Li had caused Bantorus MC in the past, she decided that the best thing to do for everyone is to keep the truth hidden. It hasn't been easy on her, man."
"A lot of fucking good that did. Look who has us and they're free." Will sank down on the tires. "I'll kill them."
"Keep that attitude, because you probably will end up doing just that if you want to stay alive." He moved over to the door and kicked at the knob.
After several attempts, he stumbled back, dizzy. "They must have the door barred from the outside."
Will wiped his eyes. "If Los Li believes the murders were classified as a murder-suicide and they got away with killing two innocent people, then why are they coming after us?"
"Why the hell do you think?" Remmy ran his fingers over the edge of the door, looking for any weak spots. "They believe someone is going to compromise them."
"Fuck." Will grabbed the head of his head. "That's why you paid me a late night visit to shut me up."
"Yeah, except it didn't matter." Remmy turned away from the door, giving up the hope that he could jimmy it off. "Steven Kraum's also on Los Li's payroll."
"Natalie's attorney?" Will shook his head. "That son of a bitch. He was Robert's attorney for years. He was supposed to have Natalie's best interest at heart, and he was fucking her over behind her back?"
"He's dead now," he said.
"You killed him?"
Remmy glanced at Will. "Los Li. In front of Natalie."
Will's mouth hardened. Remmy sat down and closed his eyes, exhausted and nauseous. "Rest. We need to be ready for when they come back."
He wished he could hold Natalie and reassure her that things would be okay. He'd sent her off for her own good, glad to have her protected within the club and the attention directed on him instead. If he died, he'd at least know the club would take care of her.
His eyes stung and he rubbed his hand over them. He'd never had a love like hers. Even growing up, he'd felt like second choice, a sad reminder of what his parents pretended to have at one time. That's probably why he spread himself around from one woman to the next. He chuckled to himself. What a fucked up son of a bitch he was.
It took forty-eight years to understand why he'd lived alone this long. There was only one woman for him. He didn't own her, she owned him.
"Is she happy?" Will asked, breaking into Remmy's thoughts.
There was no hesitation. "Yeah."
Will inhaled deeply. "She deserves that. I know there were problems between her and Robert—though she never said anything when he was alive. Over the years, she lost her joy, her smiles, and I rarely saw the young, carefree girl that walked into Robert's life at the beginning. After...Robert and Chad died, I wanted to deny what she was telling me, but I knew something wasn't right. Deep down I knew something was wrong with my brother and that caused Natalie to change. Something had been wrong with Robert for a long time, but to think that he'd kill our brother and himself...I couldn't accept that. He was still my older brother."
Remmy steeled himself, because he wasn't the one who needed to hear those words spoken. Natalie deserved to know and have the guilt lifted, her remaining family restored, and to heal. He closed his eyes and relaxed his body. He had to get out of here, because he couldn't leave Natalie the way he had. He'd pushed her away, and she'd always remember that.
Chapter Thirty One
The door to the meeting room remained closed. Natalie paced the hallway, waiting for the men to come out and update her. Four days since Remmy left with Los Li, and there wasn't a word from Los Li. The members, despite going out and investigating on their own, came back every evening with no answers.
She refused to give up hope.
"Maybe if I go to town and let Los Li know I'm going on with my life, they'll make contact," Natalie said. "I could even go to Meghoni Mine and question the miners about what really happened. Word would get back to Los Li, and they'd come out of hiding."
Risa walked away, leaving the Silver Girls behind. Natalie pursed her lips, realizing what she'd done. "Dammit."
"It's okay. She understands. It's just hard for her to accept, because she went through so much. Don't take it personally." Jojo rubbed Natalie's arms. "We're all here for you, and so is Risa."
"I know." She rolled her lips over her teeth and gave her head a shake. "I'm out of ideas, and it doesn't help that the men leave me out of the decisions."
"Remmy's their brother. You have to know that they'll never stop looking for him." Shari dragged a chair over to the side. "Sit down. All you're doing is wearing yourself out, and you need to keep up your strength. Do you need something to eat or drink?"
She shook her head. The only thing she needed was a sign that they were getting closer to finding Remmy.
The door opened. Natalie straightened, looking to Kurt for answers. His tired eyes met hers, and he motioned her inside. She scrambled after him, letting him close the door behind her.
Ink vacated his chair and guided her to sit down. She sat, sliding her hands under her thighs.
Kurt took the head of the table. "Lee's got a tail on the car that Los Li was last seen driving when they took Remmy."
The air in her lungs escaped and she leaned against the table. "Thank God. You can go get him now, right?"
"If Los Li hasn't dumped the car, and someone else is driving it. We're waiting for a phone call from Lee. As soon as we have a positive ID on the driver, we'll move in." Kurt watched her carefully.
She nodded, keeping her chin up. She had to stay positive.
The phone in the middle of the table vibrated. She jerked, clutching her hands in her lap to keep from snatching up the cell and demanding to know if Lee found Remmy.
Kurt put the call on speaker. "We're here."
"4-1-9 Gulch Road, off the old highway about ten miles south of Interstate 90," Lee said. "There are four Los Li members held up in an abandoned gas station."
"Remmy?" Kurt asked.
Natalie brought her clasped hands under her chin and closed her eyes.
"No sign of him, but Los Li members are hiding their car and walking in. Whatever they're doing inside, they don't want anyone to notice."
"Wait for us, and we'll go in together," Kurt said.
"Got it." Lee drew out his breath. "There's a bridge running over a culvert about a mile down the road. Then you'll come to a turnout area. Leave your bikes there. Any closer and you'll alert them to your arrival. On foot, you'll pass right by me, and I'll join you."
"Be there in twenty minutes, and Lee...be careful," Kurt said.
"Always, big brother," Lee said, ending the call.
Chairs scraped back. Natalie let out the breath she held and the tears she'd refused to let fall the last several days. The men stopped, peering down at her.
Germ approached her, kissed her forehead. "We'll bring him back."
The gruff testimony to his loyalty to the club, to Remmy, touched her, and she swiped at her cheeks. Before she could compose herself, Sawyer leaned down and kissed her forehead from the other side.
"I'll protect him with my life," Sawyer said on a whisper.
She hiccupped, nodding to let him know she believed him. Cutter laid his hand on her shoulder, squeezed, and walked out of the room. The remaining members acknowledged her in their own special way, until only Ink and K
urt remained in the room with her.
"I never had an old man, but if I could choose someone to call pop, it'd be Remmy." Ink ran his finger down the side of Natalie's cheek, drying her tears. "I respect him."
She caught his hand, and brought it to her lips, kissing his fingers. "He loves you, Ink. Never doubt that."
Crain, Stripper, Muff and Tim took their turns assuring her they'd bring back Remmy. By the time most of the men had left the room, she felt stronger than she had in days. These were the men Remmy trusted. They were family.
Finally, Kurt lifted her from the chair and stood her in front of him. "I will bring him back, one way or another."
She wrapped her arms around Remmy's president. Kurt's hand cupped the back of her head. She squeezed her eyes closed, wishing it was Remmy possessing her and marking his property. Instead, only comfort came and she ached for Remmy more. "Thank you," she whispered. "Be careful."
Kurt chest rose and fell, and then he stepped back. "Stay inside, sweetheart. Let us concentrate on bringing Remmy home to us."
She watched him leave, and then the Silver Girls came into the meeting room, Risa leading them all. She reached out for her friend, and took her hand. The support overwhelmed her. Arms came around her, lifting her up, being her strength and support. In the quiet of the room, she concentrated on sending Remmy all her thoughts. That whatever he'd gone through, whatever Los Li did to him, whatever the outcome would be, that he'd come back to her, safe and sound.
***
Remmy motioned for Will to sit on the tires, while he lay back against the wall, his legs sprawled. After the beat-down two days ago, he'd relapsed. Today, he'd have to succeed. One more beating and he'd never get out of here alive.
That wasn't an option. His life was waiting for him, and he wouldn't disappoint Natalie.
The doorknob jiggled and then swung open.
Gomez strolled in the room and peered down at Will and Remmy. "It seems our two friends are more compliant today."
The other three Los Li members entered the room. Remmy forced himself to keep his eyes half closed and uninterested. If their goal was to torment them, they were doing a good job. Will wasn't going to hang in much longer. Yesterday's attempt at escaping backfired. Four against two when Will could barely swing his arm meant the fight was over before it started. Will wasn't as strong as Remmy had thought, and had taken some kicks to his kidneys. Today, he'd coughed up blood. There were times he'd had trouble waking Will up, and he knew something was wrong.
"Call Radiant and let him know we're ready to finish them off, and the first chance the Oman woman goes out alone, we'll pick her up," Gomez said.
Radiant? Remmy closed his eyes and feigned unconsciousness. The last time Bantorus dealt with him was twenty years ago when Brandy's pop was hustled into fighting for Los Li and Torque was shot. Far as he knew, Radiant went back to Mexico, because the Feds were after him.
"I know you can hear me, asshole." Gomez voice came closer. "How do you like that? You lose your life, knowing your little woman will enjoy a brand new life in Mexico servicing Los Li, and unable to tie my familia to the injustice done last summer. Who wins now, amigo?"
Remmy groaned, shifting his body to glimpse everyone's position. Gomez squatted down in front of him, and he jerked in contrived surprise.
"That's after I enjoy her myself." Gomez sighed in appreciation. "It's not often that women her age catch my attention, but I've been watching her and I like what I see. An older woman, trained into obedience by a Bantorus MC member...her tight pussy around me, her ass in my—"
"Motherfucker." Remmy brought his boot up, knocking Gomez off balance.
Fury, flashed hot, and he put all his energy into taking Gomez down. He delivered a kick to Gomez's ribs while getting up, and moved for the loose pistol.
The other two men charged, but Will flung himself across the room, catching them off guard, diverting their focus. Gomez stretched and reached the gun first.
"Back off, asshole." Gomez raised his arm, holding the weapon. "You're going to die."
Will fell to the ground, curling unnaturally into a ball, his body convulsing. Remmy stumbled back and a shot rang outside the room.
"Puta, go, go," Gomez shouted.
The other three Los Li men turned and ran out the door. Alone with Gomez and the added distraction, Remmy swung his fist, clipping Gomez. If he were meant to die today, he'd take Gomez to hell with him.
Remmy tackled him to the cement floor as the pistol fired. He ignored the shock and struggled to pin Gomez's gun arm down. He thought of Natalie and knew, he'd never let this man live to breath the same air as her. He punched the man in his face, over and over.
Two more shots blasted the area, and he continued hitting Gomez. His arms screamed in pain and grew heavy, his punches barely making a mark. His vision narrowed, and yet, he couldn't stop. If he lost consciousness, it was all over.
Gomez would never get his woman.
"Remmy," Kurt's voice reached his ears. "Jesus, man."
No longer able to lift his arm, he clasped Gomez's neck in his hand and squeezed.
"Let him go, brother. We're here." Kurt laid his hands on Remmy's shoulders and pulled him back, cradling him from hitting the floor.
He fell on his ass, staring down at the man who threatened to take Natalie from him. Voices came into the room, and he recognized Lee, Ink, and Cutter, but he couldn't see them. He had no idea if he'd lost his sight or his eyes were closed. He couldn't feel any pain, and his muscles refused to work.
"Nat?" he said. "Gotta get to her."
"She's safe, bro." Kurt lifted Remmy to his feet. "She's alive."
With the news that he'd succeeded at keeping Los Li away from his old lady, pain invaded his whole body. Arms came around him, and he pushed against them. "Don't leave Will behind. Promised him. Nat needs him."
"We'll take him too." Ink squeezed Remmy's ribs and his breath escaped him. "Hang on, man. We're getting you out."
"I'll clean up here and get rid of the bodies. Take Remmy and the other guy out to the road and then call for help," Lee said. "Keep them from coming back here for a while. It's a fucking blood bath around here."
Remmy's feet moved, but the others supported his weight. He sagged against his MC brothers and closed his eyes as the fresh air hit him. He was going home, and the only thing in his head and his heart was his woman.
Chapter Thirty Two
— Two months later
The cool breeze flickered the flames of the bonfire behind the clubhouse. Remmy, his legs stretched out in front of him, lounged in the Adirondack chair. The heat from the fire caressed his skin, but it was Natalie, who sat on his lap, who was responsible for the warmth inside of him.
Today turned out perfect. He'd reclaimed his woman down at the courthouse in front of the whole Federal Charter and the original riders who came up from Pitnam, because Natalie demanded he put his John Hancock on a marriage certificate and make it official. In his heart, nothing changed.
He was still Bantorus, through and through.
A paper saying he took Natalie for the rest of his life until death do them part was bull shit. She was in his head, in his heart, and even dead, he'd never leave her.
Natalie's parents—Joyce and Matthew Norton, caught an early afternoon flight out of Spokane after witnessing the I do's. He rubbed Natalie's back. Her parents' arrival came as a surprise to Natalie, then tears showed up, then panic set in when Natalie thought he'd invited her parents back to the club for the real celebration. He smiled into the night. God, she was funny how she protected her parents. She'd learn that life was short and all anyone wanted was to see Natalie happy.
That was his job, and one he'd never take for granted. He'd almost lost everything. His life, his club, his brothers, but it was Natalie he couldn't lose. His theory about women fighting to live when they had a man at home who loved them went the same way for men who had a woman at home waiting.
He lifted his beer and ca
ught sight of Will standing awkwardly by the fire. Will had suffered the most.
Natalie leaned back against his chest. "Do you think he's okay?"
Conversations between them were always like this. He circled her waist with his arm. She'd say something random as if having a conversation with herself, and he'd know what she was talking about, because he was thinking the same thing.
Will pivoted slowly and walked toward them with careful steps over the rocks. Remmy pressed his hand flat on her stomach, enjoying the soft spot that had developed as Natalie's appetite came back.
"You're about to find out," he said.
Will glanced from Remmy to Natalie, his face in shadows but Remmy could sense the hesitation. "I'm going to head home, but wanted to thank you both for inviting me."
"Thanks for coming, man. It meant a lot to Natalie and me." Remmy continued sitting and held out his hand.
Will shook the offered hand and nodded. "She's all the family I have. Take care of her."
Natalie pushed off Remmy, stood, and hugged her brother in law. "I love you, Will. That will never change."
Will sighed. "I wish I could go back and change how I acted."
"You didn't know," she said, stroking his cheek. "We can't go back, only forward, but I will never forget your brother. He was a big part of my life, as were you."
"I should've seen what Robert put you through." Will stared at the ground. "I could've found a way to help him. Maybe he would've listened to me."
She rubbed Will's arm. "Take everything good and hold on to it. You know he wouldn't want you to feel any guilt. He lived his life, doing what he wanted, the best way he could with the circumstances."
Remmy's chest tightened. Will wasn't the only one who wished he could change the past. He lay in bed many nights, wondering what he could do to wipe the experience Natalie went through with her first marriage out of her mind. Ultimately, that experience shaped her into the person she was, and he wouldn’t change anything about her. Some people grow from their past, while others sink. Natalie survived and rose above the pain.