by Jane Toombs
“Why?” he asked.
Laura swallowed. “Because she’ll be the one raising him.”
“You don’t want the problem?”
She turned to look at him, tears in her eyes. “Maybe that’s it.”
He put a hand on her shoulder. “No, it’s not. You’re giving him up, aren’t you? Giving him to Sage. Why?”
She shrugged off his hand and snapped, “Stop questioning me. It’s none of your business. I should think our first priority is to get this baby to the ranch before he starves to death.”
Shane shrugged. “You’re right.” Gesturing at the pan of water, he added, “You might want to wash first.”
Realizing for the first time she was covered with blood and fluid from the colt’s birth process, Laura nodded and sluiced off what she could while Shane took care of fixing a sling for the colt so he could be tied onto the gelding for a ride back to the ranch.
When they arrived near dusk, Sage was so thrilled with her live present she could hardly speak. “He’s mine?” she managed to squeak out. “I get to keep him?”
“Got to feed him every couple hours,” Grandfather told her. “Best to start now. You’ll be the only mother he knows.”
“I’ll get the calf bottle,” Sage said, “and some milk.”
Though warmed by Sage’s obvious pleasure, Laura felt a certain heaviness in her heart. Doing her best to ignore it, she showered and changed. Though neither she nor Shane had eaten since noon, she felt she couldn’t face the sight of food or bear anyone’s company, so she left the house by the front door and turned to the right to be out of sight from the barn and corral. As she rounded the corner of the house she almost bumped into Shane.
“Figured you’d be coming this way,” he said, as she drew back from him.
“Didn’t it also occur to you that the reason might be I didn’t want company?” she asked tartly.
“I knew that. Figured you needed it anyway. Besides, we’ve got unfinished business.”
“None that I’m aware of.” She knew if she stalked off, he’d follow her, so she stayed where she was. “Please leave me alone.”
“Soon. Providing you’re honest with me.”
She stared up at him in the twilight, confused. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I want the truth. Since we’re living in the same household and working together, what you do and how you act is my business. Just as if I really were your husband in every sense of the word. I should think you’d feel the same about me.”
Laura thought over what he’d said. True, a marriage was about sharing, but theirs couldn’t be called a real marriage.
“Whenever you get on your high horse with me, I know I’ve touched a raw spot,” he continued. “Why are you afraid to tell me the real reason you gave Sage your colt?”
“I did it so she’d have something to take care of and love.” The words burst from Laura. “She needs to—”
“But you don’t need anything to take care of and love, is that it?” His words beat at her, relentlessly.
Her first impulse was to pound his chest with her fists. With an effort she unclenched her hands, but she couldn’t undo her anger. “You have no right…” she began.
“I’m taking the right. I know you’re fond of horses. I saw how gentle and loving you were with the little colt.”
Grasping the first thing that came to her, she said, “You know I won’t be here long. It’s better for him if he bonds with someone else.”
“And better for you if you don’t bond at all?”
Unable to control her anger, she raised her fisted hands. He caught her wrists. “Tell me,” he demanded.
Furious as she was with him, she wasn’t even slightly afraid. “It’s not safe,” she cried, hardly aware of what she was saying. “Not safe to get too fond of anybody or anything. Bad things happen.”
Then to her horror, she burst into tears.
Shane put his arms around her, drawing her to him and she wept against his chest, tearing sobs that trembled through her.
“It’s all right,” he murmured, wondering if he’d gone too far with his probing. Her reluctance to be honest was to him like an abscess on a horse. Undrained, it made the animal sick, but lanced it healed.
Though lancing hurt, the abscess did, too, and was the more dangerous. Laura had some deep, ingrained hurt within her that would never heal unless he could persuade her to let him help.
As he stroked her back, speaking soothingly, it occurred to him that he was like the blind trying to lead the blind. Wasn’t the truth of his reluctance to commit himself again to a woman in marriage because he feared exactly the same thing Laura did? That bad things happened if you got too fond of someone?
Not quite the same, he decided. He loved Sage unreservedly and was totally committed to her welfare. Who did Laura love in such a way? Did she feel that way about anyone?
Could she?
That was something he couldn’t solve in one night. As her sobs eased, he coaxed her toward the front door, saying, “Come eat with me. I hate to eat alone. There’s leftover chicken from supper—we’ll have that.”
Leading her into the kitchen, he urged her into a chair and set a tissue box on the table in front of her. “Since you were entitled to an outdoor meal that you didn’t get this evening,” he said, “I’ll do the honors.”
Sage chose that moment to bounce into the kitchen, full of chatter about her colt. “I’m going to call him Star on account of the white mark on his head. It actually does look like a star. Grandfather says he can tell Star’ll be a good, sound horse when he grows up. I’m getting him an old blanket to sleep on, okay?”
She barely waited for Shane’s nod of agreement before dashing off. But she’d been there long enough for Laura to make the effort to compose herself and, when Shane set food in front of her, she ate a little.
Later, in bed, Laura tried to sort out her feelings. Her anger at Shane had been washed away by her tears and, yes, by the way he held and comforted her. She didn’t regret what she’d admitted. Why regret telling the truth? Even if it had been forced out of her.
In any case, the little colt was far better off with Sage. They could grow up together.
Laura sighed and turned over. She’d miss seeing it happen, seeing Sage turn into a young woman and Star into the good, sound horse Grandfather had predicted he’d become. She’d miss Grandfather, too.
And Shane? That didn’t bear thinking about. Not tonight.
But she would have to think about it sometime because they would be parting soon. Not for good, she needed to stay around long enough to make sure Sage’s future was secure. Once she was through studying the two herds on reservation land, though, she’d move on to the next group of mustangs.
Though there were other herds she needed to research in Northern Nevada, she told herself that maybe she ought to choose another state next. Montana. It was best for everyone that she leave Nevada for a while. Sage had to get used to her coming and going.
And I need to get away from Shane, she admitted to herself.
He was fast becoming a friend, and she could use a friend—couldn’t everyone? If that were all, there’d be no problem. But being with him was stirring emotions she didn’t know she had, triggering feelings she thought she’d long ago eliminated. Plus introducing some new and alarming sensations she didn’t dare explore, much as she longed to.
Yes, it was best to head for Montana the minute she finished up with the herds here. To stay on much longer was too risky. She didn’t worry so much about what Shane might do—it was herself she feared. What might happen if she let herself get out of control?
The mere thought alarmed her.
Chapter Eight
While they were eating breakfast the next morning, the phone rang. Sage jumped up to answer it, then called, “Grandfather, it’s for you.”
When she came back to the table she looked so downcast that Laura asked her what was the matter.
<
br /> “You’re going to hate me,” Sage told her.
“I doubt that very much,” Laura said.
“And Shane’s going to be mad at me,” Sage added.
“You might be right,” he said. “More so if you go on hedging and don’t get to the point.”
Sage looked even more distressed. “I just remembered I took two phone messages yesterday and forgot to tell either of you about them. I’m sorry, but I got so excited about Star and all.”
Shane set down his coffee mug and fixed his gaze on his sister. “What messages?”
“Yours was from the Outpost saying they sold the last carving and when could you get more to them. I told them you’d call.” Sage took a deep breath. “Laura’s was from her brother. He wanted her to call him back.”
“No harm done,” Laura said. “I’ll call him today.” Noticing Grandfather come into the kitchen, she rose. “Right now, in fact. It’s early, maybe I can catch him before he goes to the clinic.”
As she walked to the phone, she wondered what Nathan wanted. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see him again so soon after their last encounter. Maybe Jade had talked him into a more reasonable frame of mind, though. She hoped so.
Nathan picked up the phone on the second ring. “Oh, hi, sis,” he said. “Jade and I would like to have you and Shane over for dessert and coffee Friday evening. How’s that for you?”
“This Friday?” she asked. Only two days away.
“You got it.”
Deciding there was no point in putting him off, since then he might think something was wrong, she said, “It sounds okay, but let me check with Shane.”
“Great. You can let Jade know.”
Laura walked back to the table where Shane now sat alone. “Nathan and Jade have invited us for Friday evening dessert,” she told him. “What do you think?”
“No problem here.” He gave her an assessing look. “Do you want to go?”
She shrugged, trying to behave as though it didn’t matter one way or the other. “I suppose we should.”
“Okay, we’ll come back early enough on Friday to make the drive over to Tourmaline.” He shoved his chair back and stood. “I’ll leave a message on the Outpost’s answering machine, and then we’ll ride.”
They were planning to camp for several consecutive nights near the usual watering spots along the stream so she could get a close look at the mustangs in the two herds. Once she finished doing that, she’d have the reservation mustangs tallied and could go on to the next site. Which she’d already decided would be Montana.
As they headed out with a pack horse carrying extra gear, Laura wondered again if it might have been wiser to postpone another meeting with her brother until she returned from Montana. But, since she’d already called Jade back to accept, it was too late.
“I get the feeling you’re afraid to visit your brother,” Shane said after a while.
“No, not exactly. It’s just that I’d have liked a longer time span so he could get more adjusted to the idea of me being married. I don’t want any more confrontations.”
“Being offered dessert sounds more like a peace offering. In the old days, once a stranger was offered food in a lodge of my people, he knew he was safe from harm.”
Perhaps Shane was right, and her worry was for nothing. She decided not to think about it anymore. The morning was as beautiful as only a Nevada high desert June day could be. She was riding with a man she trusted, a man who was her friend. No one could ask for a better companion. And she enjoyed what she was doing—so much more satisfying than sitting in an office back east.
Shane, watching Laura’s frown disappear and her shoulders straighten, smiled, pleased to have banished what was troubling her. To him, Nathan hadn’t seemed like the type of man to carry a grudge. If it weren’t for the marriage agreement he and Laura had made, he’d have no qualms about visiting the Walkers. As it was though, since she hadn’t fully explained the situation to her brother, he felt uneasy. The way she’d put things made it sound like theirs might be a real marriage.
Apparently he hadn’t inherited Grandfather’s deviousness, because he much preferred everything laid out in plain sight.
Dismissing the future visit, he concentrated on looking for mustang sign. He already knew where he’d like to camp—providing the horses cooperated and didn’t hare off on some unexpected tangent.
“Jessica is one of the most attractive women I’ve ever met,” Laura said unexpectedly.
He smiled one-sidedly. “You’d get no argument from any male on the res.”
“Including you?”
He shrugged. “I’m not blind. Why do you ask?”
“No reason.”
Ha. Women never brought up another woman’s name for no reason. “Still wondering why I didn’t marry her?” he asked.
She shot him an indignant look, and then turned her head away from him, but not before he saw her telltale blush.
“Told you I didn’t intend to marry,” he said. “No more than the truth. If you want my opinion of Jessica, I doubt marriage has ever been her primary concern. She’s had plenty of chances.”
He let that settle a while and then added, “’Course, now that I’ve taken the plunge, I have to admit maybe I was wrong about wedded bliss.”
That brought her accusing gaze back to him. “You’re teasing me.”
He grinned. Laura was different from any woman he’d ever gotten to know well. Her reactions fascinated him. “Just trying to make up for lost time,” he said. “You don’t strike me as a gal who ever got teased much.”
“I’m none too sure I care for it.”
A guy had to spell everything out for this woman. “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t tease you.”
She smiled at him. “Actually, I don’t mind.”
“That I tease you or that I like you?”
“Either. Both. I was just thinking I’ve never had a male friend before.”
Trying to keep him in his place was she? He thought of the night camp to come, with a moon close to full and wondered if he was going to be able to keep his hands off her. Probably not. Scratch the probably.
Past noon, after they’d stopped to eat and rest the horses, they were on their way again. Shane saw mustang sign. The herd was traveling in the right direction—he’d chosen the perfect spot to camp. Since the wild horses were ahead of them, he figured they’d cross the stream, but come back to drink at their customary spot before nightfall.
If he and Laura camped on this side of the stream among the cottonwoods, but without putting up a tent, they wouldn’t spook the herd. She should be able to get a good look at every horse in the black stallion’s harem and some idea of how healthy each was.
Later, at the campsite, as they were unpacking gear, she said, “No tent?”
“We’re taking a chance if we set it up before the herd comes back,” he told her. “After they leave, we can put up the tent for you.”
She shook her head. “I haven’t slept under the stars since I was a kid at summer camp. I’m looking forward to doing just that tonight.”
“We’ll be sleeping under the moon as well,” he added.
“In the old days people used to believe that if you let the moon’s rays strike you while asleep, you’d wake crazy—a lunatic,” Laura said.
“Interesting concept. Think it’ll happen to us?”
She made a face at him and he grinned, at the same time thinking that there really was something about a full or nearly full moon that did promote lovemaking. It was certainly on his mind, and the moon hadn’t even risen yet.
Laura tried not to think about lying on her sleeping bag gazing up at the moon with Shane next to her. A romantic idyll. If she believed in such things—which she didn’t. Romance had no place in her life. But more and more, Shane did.
She marveled at the effortless way he handled the horses, seeming to communicate with them mind to mind. He moved so fluidly, one motion flowing into another. When h
e sat down with his back to a tree, took out a knife and began to whittle, she watched with interest to see what would come out of the length of willow branch he’d cut.
His artisan’s hands were strong and capable. She liked the feel of them when he touched her. In fact, she wouldn’t mind if he were touching her right this minute. If she felt that way now, how was it going to be under the moon? Would he kiss her good-night? Would it be one of those quickie kisses, or what Sage called a real kiss?
Stop fantasizing, she warned herself. You don’t want or need anything from him but friendship. But she could do nothing to blunt her acute awareness of him, though she managed to stay where she was instead of wandering over to sit next to him the way she wanted to.
Just before dusk, on the other side of the stream, the black stallion and his harem of mares ambled cautiously up to the water. Crouched low, Laura scribbled in her notebook, totting up the color and condition of each mare, then the stallion.
When she finished, so had the horses, and she watched them trot off, manes and tails blowing in the evening breeze, a perfect picture of freedom.
“Beautiful,” she murmured, shifting to sit on her sleeping bag. Since they’d be sleeping in their clothes, all she removed were her boots.
Beside her Shane nodded.
Shaking off the spell cast by the mustangs, she said, “I noticed quite a few scars marring the stallion’s coat.”
“Bite and hoof marks from challenges. He has to fight other stallions to keep his harem.”
“I knew about the challenges, but I never realized the stallions actually got hurt.”
“Wait’ll you see one. Lady, these are wild horses. No holds barred, in love or war.”
“I know harems are the norm, but I’ve sometimes thought it’s unfair the mares don’t get to choose the stallion they’d prefer.”
Shane shrugged. “As long as their stallion is victorious in all his battles, he’s the pick of the crop, isn’t he?”
True. She glanced at him, noting the wide shoulders and his powerful build. The thought crossed her mind that Shane was likely to be the victor in any fight with another man. The pick of the crop.