They were given a second chance.
It was a miracle.
One they never thought would come.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
When she woke, her head was pounding, and she was as naked as the day she was born. Her first thought was to be horrified. After that had passed, she tried to place where she was.
It seemed her knight in shining armor struck again.
Beau had tucked her into bed and was waiting bedside her. His hand was firmly in hers, and there was a sense of peace, not embarrassment when she realized he’d seen her naked.
Again.
With any other person, she would have been mortified, but with him, she was thrilled to see him.
“Bad, huh?” he asked, noticing the lines of stress were gone from her forehead. She must have been able to focus, and he was glad.
She simply laughed.
As he moved closer, she moved away. Their only contact was their twined fingers.
Her putting space between them registered on his face. He looked surprised, and hurt.
“Sorry. I assumed you wanted to be comforted,” he muttered, moving back to his original spot.
Nyx knew she hurt him, but if she let him kiss her, they were both going to be naked. She couldn’t do that to him.
Not without giving him all the horrible truths.
Beau deserved it. She’d promised honesty, and she always kept her word--even when it scared her.
“We have to talk.”
“Uh oh.”
That didn't sound good at all.
Beau fully expected her to run. Why wouldn’t she? His brother was making her suffer, and she was in pain because of his family.
“Yeah, it’s not going to be a good talk, Beau.”
“If you want me to leave, I will. I’ll never bother you again,” he stated. While he wanted to force himself on her, he wouldn’t.
He couldn’t.
Beau vowed never to be like his father, Lawrence Christensen. Even if it hurt to leave her, he’d never take away her free will.
Ever.
“You deserve the truth. Before we move this any further along, I want to be open with you. I can’t bear to tell you this after I’ve slept with you, only to have you run.”
It surprised him.
His first instinct was to make a joke. “So, I’ve finally worn you down with my charm and charisma. I knew it would happen.”
Nyx didn't laugh.
It made his heart skip. This was going to be a very serious conversation. He could feel it.
Nyx continued, “I hope you’ll stay after you hear what I say, but I understand if you don’t. You don’t owe me anything, Beau. Don’t stay out of obligation. I want you to stay out of something more.”
He watched her. If she only knew that he was so tangled up over her, she’d never have to say that to him. He wanted Nyx in the worst way, and he didn't mean only for sex.
There was a connection.
There was something there.
It called to him.
“I don’t do anything out of obligation, Nyx. I was a soldier because of that, but now I’m here of my own free will. I won’t run.”
She prayed that was true.
There had been men in her life before, and the second the big ugly secret came out, they left. No one in their right mind wanted to carry her emotional baggage.
She didn't even want it.
For the longest time, she believed she wasn’t worthy of love--that she was defiled and ruined.
Now she thought otherwise.
Beau was her beginning--or so she hoped.
“When I was sixteen, my parents and I had a pretty nice life. They loved each other. I mean…really, really had this connection. You could see it when they looked at each other. Our life was perfect.”
He listened. He tried to understand, especially since that was the opposite of what he had.
“Then one night, we went to bed a normal family, but woke up shattered.”
Beau brought her fingers to his lips. “I’m listening. I’m not going to leave,” he reassured, seeing the fear.
“Three men broke into our home. They wanted to rob it, but my father woke up. He confronted them.”
He saw the demons, and understood what he really chased away. It wasn’t his dead brother, but her past.
Nyx was running from it.
“They killed him right there in front of my mom. She tried to save him, but they were so hopped up on drugs, they didn't even hear her.”
He was sick hearing it. His mind flashed back to the war, and the screams of women in the night. Their husbands were killed in front of them too.
It resonated with him.
“My brother didn't even have a chance.”
“What about your mother?”
“They shot her too.”
He didn't like the way this was playing out. It didn't feel like it was going to have a happy ending. Frankly, it made him sick. He didn't want to run.
He wanted to stay that much more.
“I tried to hide, but they found me. I was only sixteen, but they took me with them.”
His entire demeanor changed. “They took you?”
Nyx nodded. “For three days, they held me captive, until they raped, beat, and left me for dead. I managed to find my way back to a main road. I don’t know how I did it. I was fighting so hard just to survive.”
He wanted to be sick.
“They broke me, Beau, and in more ways than one. Not only did they kill my family, but they destroyed a piece of me. I woke up in the hospital surrounded by all these strangers. The cops were asking so many questions, and I was so afraid. All I wanted was to go home, but I couldn’t.”
Gently, he wiped a tear from her cheek. “Go on, Nyxie. I’m here for you.”
“As I was lying there in the hospital, the voices began. I could hear the dead who’d passed there. The second they knew I could tune them in, they began following me.”
That explained her gift.
“I’m a mess. I’m a disaster at best. If you were to run, I wouldn’t blame you. In fact, if you didn't, I’d question your sanity too.”
He didn't speak. He was too sick over what she said. He could picture her battered, bruised, and broken. Beau had seen plenty of that in the sandbox. There were women there who had been victims of such cruelty, and he loathed what some men were capable of when they wanted to hurt someone weaker.
“Are they dead?”
“Who?” she asked, sitting up.
“The men who put their hands on you.”
She shook her head. “Two are in jail, and one was never found. I always look over my shoulder, expecting him to be right there. The only good thing about this gift I’ve received is that the dead genuinely like me. They warn me.”
“Why tell me now? I know you wanted me to know, but why are you really telling me?”
She could lie, or she could keep her word.
“I feel something for you, Beau. It’s something I’ve never had before, and I’m smart enough to know that if I don’t put all the cards on the table, it won’t work. I want what others have, and I recognize it in you.”
That touched him.
So, he wasn’t the only one who felt it.
“I’m barely alive. I function, but I don’t live. I wanted out because of my past more than your brother screaming in my head. I wanted the pain to stop. Over the last day, it’s stopped, and I don’t just mean Trey. The hurt has lessened. You’ve given me something I never thought I’d find. I have peace. I don’t want to die anymore.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “I’m glad.”
“So, if you want out, go now. I know I’m a disaster, and I probably shouldn’t say this, but I can see me with you. That’s never happened before. Don’t stay out of pity for me. If you’re staying, make it count. Please.”
He took her face in his hands. “Why wouldn’t I want to be with you, Nyx? You’re funny, smart, and inc
redibly beautiful. I’d be a fool to run.”
“Because I’m a mess.”
He laughed. “Oh, sweetheart, I know messes. I come from a long line of them.” It was time to be honest, just like she had been.
“I’m just as big a wreck. Don’t judge the book by its cover. Let me tell you about my shittastic life.”
She still held his hand.
“My mother is trying to blackmail my sister, who I never knew even existed. My father was a horrible person. He was a soldier, and the military overlooked his indiscretions.”
She didn't speak.
“He liked hurting women. He raped and abused them in his anger, and I’m fighting that part of my DNA. I told you that I have bad in me, Nyx. We all do. Trey did. Tori does, and so do I. He’s tainted all of us.”
She stared up into his stormy eyes, and they were troubled. “I don’t believe for one second that you’d ever hurt a woman, and you’d never hurt me. I can tell.”
“I’ve kept women out of my life because of him. I’d date one, she’d try to get under my skin, and I’d walk away. I have a temper, but I also have a shitload of control. That’s the big gift the military gave me.”
Nyx moved closer, getting onto her knees to be eye to eye with him, all the while keeping the sheet clutched to her chest. Not once did he look down.
The man definitely hadn’t lied.
He had some crazy control.
“You’d never hurt me. You’ve seen me naked, you saved my life, and you’ve never been inappropriate with me, Beau. Despite what lives in you, I trust you.”
“I’m not a saint, Nyx. I’ve wanted you in the worst way. I still do. I want to rip off your clothes, pretend I can have you without repercussions, and get lost in it. I just won’t let myself risk hurting you.”
She gently left kisses across his cheeks.
“I have to be good.”
Running her fingers through his auburn hair, she smiled. “We’re dead, Beau. This is our heaven. You don’t have to worry. They only let the good in.”
His brain was going haywire.
Then she dropped the sheet.
It was the only thing between them, and now that final barrier was gone.
He didn't look down.
Oh, he wanted to, but he respected her far too much. Nyx wasn’t going to be a conquest. He already knew that. He wanted more than just sex from her.
Beau Christensen wanted it all.
When he still didn't move, she went against him, her naked body covering his clothed one. Together, they tumbled back against the bed.
“Set him free. I want him.”
Her words tugged at his control.
“I know he’ll always keep me safe.”
Beau let his gaze flicker down their bodies, and as his temperature shot up, she began exploring.
Nyx’s fingers found his heated flesh beneath his shirt, and she drew patterns across it. While he wanted to roll, placing her beneath him, he opted to let her drive their mating. In the back of his mind, he wanted her to use him.
She was all he ever wanted.
“Beau,” she whispered, her hand finding the bulge in his jeans. When he didn't even move, she pulled away. “If you don’t want me, I understand.”
He was surprised. “Nyx.”
“You’re lying there like this is torture. I’ll stop.”
When she went to move away from him, he grabbed her wrist. “I do want you. I just don’t want you to see what the real me looks like.”
Her heart pounded in her chest. “I want the real you. He’s the only one I need. I showed you the real me--all the scars, wounds, and everything that scares the world. Why don’t I deserve that from you? We’re playing by your rules. You wanted truth and trust, but you’re not sharing it with me.”
She was right.
Beau didn't move.
There was the audible click of the clock.
His breathing.
Her pulse pounding.
Then he made his choice. Pulling her back, he attacked. His mouth devoured, it pillaged, and stole. As he held her trapped to his body, she didn't fight.
Instead, she held on for dear life.
His hands wandered, first finding ample breasts, petal soft flesh, and then the wetness between her legs.
He was going to go up in flames.
When she moaned, Beau wanted more. Pulling away from her, he ripped his shirt off and threw it across the room. Before it even hit the floor, he was pulling down his zipper and struggling to get free from his jeans.
If she wanted him, he’d show her.
If Nyx wanted to see what lived in him, they’d forge ahead into the storm.
Here came the monster he always feared.
When he was stripping, she watched him. His body called to her. He was sexy, handsome, and willing to risk it all for her. That was the sexiest thing of all.
She could trust him.
Here was her champion, and she knew it.
The demons were shoved so far back, that she couldn’t hear a single voice. They were all gone.
It was only them.
As he attacked, her hands were held above her head, and his mouth destroyed hers.
There was no calm.
There was no gentle.
There was only hunger.
Beau Christensen wanted, and he was going to take. No matter what his brain was screaming, he was letting another part of his anatomy take over.
For once, he was going to be wild and free.
When she moaned, her body rubbing wantonly against his, Beau never wanted to stop. He left little nips and bites from her neck, across her breasts, and to her navel. When he couldn’t hold her hands above her head anymore, he tugged them to her side.
She didn't fight.
She loved being trapped against him. Besides, he was teasing her into glorious submission. As far as Nyx was concerned, he could have all of her.
She was hungry for him too.
When her legs went over his shoulder, and he found her wet and ready, he really believed it was heaven.
Nothing tasted, felt, or was this damn good--only her.
His Nyx was amazing.
As he teased her with mouth and tongue, she moaned in ecstasy. No one had ever made her shake quite like this. As he drove her up, and over, Nyx shouted his name.
Only, he didn't hear her.
The monster in him, the one he’d kept locked away for so long, begged to be free. Beau did battle, as he continued to dine on her, refusing to set either free. She was trapped, and he liked her that way.
She was his.
“Beau!” she begged, her body arching from the pleasure he was forcing her to feel. It was amazing, and she never wanted him to stop.
This had to be heaven.
He could feel her shaking, whispering his name over and over as if it was some mantra.
It drove him crazy.
She drove him wild.
Nyx was more than he deserved, but at that point, Beau didn't care. He’d take all of her, making Nyx his for the rest of their lives. He didn't give a shit that they’d just met.
When you knew, you knew.
And Beau was more than certain.
The way she reacted was proof enough for him. Nyx was coming alive beneath him. As her second orgasm crested, shoving her off into the pleasure, he set her free only to pounce.
Together, they rolled around in the sheets getting tangled up. Her body was twined with his, and Beau’s was wrapped around her like she’d never be free again.
It was perfect.
It was magical.
It was meant to be.
“Nyxie,” he whispered, his mouth finding hers again. He couldn’t get enough. If they were to come together a million times, he’d still crave her.
“Please,” she begged. “I need you. I’ll always need you, Beau.”
Nyx meant it.
She craved what he had to offer--himself.
He took that as
his sign. While he wanted more foreplay--to erase in her head what other men had done to her--he couldn’t hold out. If he didn't sink into her body, finding that perfect peace, he’d go mad.
Crazy.
Insane.
He found his addiction. Some soldiers came home and drank--well, he wanted to gulp in her radiance. She lit up his colorless world like the Fourth of July. Adrenaline had nothing on this moment, and he was so damn glad.
When her hand closed around him, he moaned. Beau had never felt anything so perfect as her slim fingers stroking him. He was pretty sure that they were dead.
She was his heaven.
One stroke.
Two.
By the fifth one, he was wild with need. Instead of letting her continue, he had to have her. If he didn't take Nyx, he would explode.
In truth, he needed to claim her. Some voice in his mind reminded him of what he needed to do. Once she was taken, they’d never go back.
“Nyx, I need this,” he muttered, mustering that one simple sentence.
“Yes,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. “I’m yours.”
The tenuous threads of control snapped, and he plunged into the most amazing sensation in the world. As she tightened around him, he nearly lost his mind.
“Oh God!” she shouted, her body shattering apart at him impaling her on his erection.
Beau didn't move.
He couldn’t.
Instead, he rode out her orgasm. When her beautiful eyes flickered open, that’s when he took what he wanted.
Her.
All of her.
Their bodies came together, over and over again. The rhythm was there, the power was there.
Beneath it all, the love was there.
“More,” she begged, as he continued to ride her body. There was perspiration on his brow, and Nyx’s hands kept slipping from his strong shoulders.
He couldn’t hear past the buzz in his head. His body was on overload, and she was the cause.
“Oh, Nyx,” he muttered, knowing that this was as close to heaven as he was ever going to get.
And he was okay with that.
He’d live his perfection now, and pay the price later.
“Beau, I can’t hold on,” she whispered, her breath labored in her chest.
“Fall. I’m coming with you.”
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