No.
He was dead inside.
Epilogue
Sunday Morning
It was the longest, most miserable night of his entire life, and that was saying a lot. He’d slept in scorpion filled deserts, had spent days in abandoned buildings staring down the scope of a rifle, and even had been stuck in a swamp. None of it compared to the misery he was living through.
One night without Nyx, and he was ready to crawl over hot coals, glass, or even nails to have her back. He couldn’t imagine his life without her, and it was driving him insane.
If he didn't get out, so he could think it through, he was going to snap.
When he arrived at the office, right after them, Tori and Julian were shocked. The looks on their faces said it all, and the look on his must have done the same.
Neither bothered him when he went upstairs, took a shower, and went right to bed.
He could hear them talking, but he didn't want to listen. They felt bad for him, and so did he. Beau Christensen had just had his heart handed to him.
It was bloodied.
Broken.
Battered.
Now he was all alone again, and after having her in his life, he knew he’d never be the same. There was such emptiness, that he knew he’d never be the same again.
Nothing would.
Life, as he knew it, was over.
Now it was a new day, and he already hated it. The time ticked by, and each irritating click on the clock made him hate his life.
As Julian dropped down on the couch beside him, he wasn’t in the mood for company.
Before he could even say a word, giving him that dreaded pep talk, he cut him off.
“I’m going to hit the gym. I need to clear my head. I’ll see you in a couple hours, Julian.”
“We can watch the game,” he offered, knowing how Beau felt. He’d had his life turned upside down like this by the woman he loved too.
It sucked.
That moment when you were shoved out of the relationship was achingly painful.
No, it just plain sucked.
Now Beau was living it, and Julian prayed it wasn’t going to last for a long time.
He’d not been so lucky.
Tori walked away from him, and he’d suffered for weeks. It nearly broke him.
When the door closed, Julian glanced over at his wife. From the look on her face, she was planning to take care of this mess.
So much for letting Beau work it out on his own.
The second he was gone, she was out of her seat. “I have a plan.”
Instead of reminding her to mind her own business, he opted to let her try. Maybe if someone had intervened in his life, he wouldn’t have nearly lost Tori.
It wasn’t like she could make it worse…
Right?
“What?”
“I need that office attached to our building. You know…the one I was joking about the other day.”
“For?” he asked. “I thought we were going to rent that out to increase our income into the business.”
She was aware. “Well, I think we have to switch routes on that one. I have to have it.”
So, Tori told him her plan.
He stared at her. “Are you crazy?”
“Do you have a better idea, Jules?”
He shook his head. “It’s yours. The keys are in my desk downstairs. Good luck with this one.”
“I’ll be back in a couple hours.”
“Where are you going?” he called as she headed toward the door. “Victoria?”
“I’m going to find me a psychic.”
“You’ve been hanging out with Elizabeth Blackhawk too much! Playing Cupid will always get you in trouble!”
“I’ll be fine.”
Julian didn't doubt that she would.
The Christensens were as stubborn as mules, and they generally won.
* * * L i t t l e m o o n * * *
Shopping for Fate
She cried the entire night.
When the tears dried up, her heart ached so much that she didn't want to go on. Had she known it was going to hurt this much, she would have rather sunk to the bottom of the river than be saved.
Her heart was broken.
And she felt as guilty as hell.
Nyx had hurt Beau, and she didn't deserve his love. If she knew then, what she knew now, she would have gone with him. Anything was better than this.
She’d screwed up. That was crystal clear.
Hell!
Even Trey was mad at her.
He refused to talk to her. It appeared she’d pissed off both brothers.
When she heard banging on her door, she rushed down the stairs in hopes that it was Beau. As she approached, she knew she was screwed.
Tori was standing there, and there was no doubt that she was going to make her pay.
Opening the door, she stepped back. “Whatever you’re here to say, you can’t make me feel any worse. I want to die over all of this.”
“You screwed this up.”
She was well aware. “Go ahead. Kick my ass. I deserve it. I know how much Beau means to you.”
Tori was amused. They must love each other very much, because she looked just as shitty as Beau.
“I’m here to ask you a few questions. Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
Tori followed her toward the couch. “Do you love him?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“How much?”
“I want him in my life so badly. I told him to go because I didn't want him to lose his family or throw away his career. I have nothing to offer him. I’m broken, weak, and need a babysitter.”
Tori understood that. When Julian came to rescue her, she was in the same boat. Over time, they meshed, bonded, and became unbreakable.
Nyx had that opportunity, if only she took the chance.
“You don’t think that you’ve become his family?”
She didn't say anything.
“He’s a mess. My brother is barely hanging on, and he doesn’t deserve it.”
“It’s my fault. I need something permanent. If I’m going to close up my shop and chase after him, I need more than he’ll support me.”
“What do you want?”
“Him.”
“And?”
“My career.”
“And?”
“Love. I really want love.”
Tori pulled two things out of her purse. “Here.”
Nyx was confused. One was a thick envelope, and the other was a set of keys. “I don’t understand.”
“That’s a key to an empty office attached to our building. You can pack this one up, move there, and have your career. Our town doesn’t have a psychic--well one who owns a shop. You’ll have your niche.”
She stared openmouthed. “What?”
“The rent, as long as you’re with my brother, is on us. You can open a store there and make it work. It’ll be slow at first, and that’s where part B comes into play.”
Nyx couldn’t believe this. “You’re giving me a storefront to open my business? What’s the catch?”
“Again, that’s part B. In that folder are the papers to get your clearances to work for us. You’ll have to be bonded, and there will be one hell of a background check, but once you pass, you’ll be able to be Beau’s partner.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“I don’t understand.”
“While you’re building your career, you can work for us part time. When he’s out in the field, he’s going to need someone to cover his back.”
She started to cry.
“Is my other brother still here?” Tori asked.
“Yes. He refuses to leave. He said his work isn't done here yet.”
Tori was good with that. If the woman was channeling Trey, she was his vessel, and that made her family. Tori and Julian would keep her safe.
It was their duty.
“Trey is my brother, and I need him
in my life, even if it’s like this. Beau is my brother too, and he needs someone in life and at work.”
“He won’t want me. I sent him away.”
“Why did you?”
“I told you why.”
Tori stared into her green eyes. “I want to know the real reason. I know my brother. He would have stuck. Why did you really push him away?”
“I want more than to be his ‘girl’. I want all. It’s selfish and wrong to demand, but I want all he has to offer. I need to be permanent.”
Tori shrugged. “Then tell him that. If he’s moving too slow, you need to take the lead. I’m sure if you tell him that you want him for the rest of his life, he’s going to follow you to hell and back. Shit! He jumped in a river on the first day he saw you. Imagine what he’d do for you now.”
She swallowed. “Do you really want me there? I’m nothing to you.”
Oh, she was very wrong.
“You’re everything to me. My one brother loves you, and my other trusts you enough to carry out his mission in death. That’s a whole lot of something--not nothing.”
She thought about it.
“I think you’re good for Beau. When he’s with you, the shadows go away. He and I didn't come back whole. We both left something behind in the sandbox. When I’m with Julian, it fills in the gaps. When you’re with Beau, it does the same. You can heal him, and frankly…you need a little healing yourself.”
She swallowed.
“If you want this, reach out, and take it,” Tori offered, holding the envelope in her hand. When Nyx still didn't move, she knew what to do.
“Trey! Help a girl out here!”
The radio went crazy.
“Go! You. Need. Him. Love. My. Brother.”
Tori smiled. “Well, Nyx Nightingale, are you in or do you want to hang out here with Trey? The living breathing one is waiting for you. All you have to do is have enough courage to face him, tell him your heart, and go with it. Are you going to hide, or are you going to save him--like he did you?”
She stood. “I’ll get my bag. We have to go!”
Tori watched her hurry away. Her mission there was complete. She’d accomplished what she set out to do.
Maybe this Cupid thing wasn’t so bad. Her best friend knew something no one else did.
It was pretty rewarding.
“Ahhh, Trey, what the hell are we going to do with these two lovebirds?”
The radio flipped to a station and there was laughter. “Baby. Sit. Them.”
It was her turn to laugh.
“Yeah, I agree.”
* * * L i t t l e m o o n * * *
Littlemoon Investigations
Apartment
Afternoon
When Beau returned, he didn't look any better. Obviously, kicking the shit out of a punching bag at the gym didn't improve his mood. As he dropped down on the couch, Julian handed him a beer.
“We need to talk.”
“No.”
Julian shrugged. “Fine. I’m used to Christensen pig-headedness. I’m in there with the champ. If you think you’re the most stubborn, I can vouch for your sister. She’s wearing the crown in your family.”
Beau looked over. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Julian laughed. “When I met your sister, she had sex with me, made me fall in love, and then left me for months. I didn't hear from her, I called daily, and I tried to get her to see me.”
Beau was listening. “And?”
“Finally, a case at the FBI brought us together. I thought I’d finally won, and she bailed again, dumping me. She let me walk away. No, she told me she didn't love me and let me leave. I drove away, and didn't see her for weeks.”
Beau leaned forward. “What happened?”
“I nearly lost her, and I don’t mean as a girlfriend. She went into the VA and planned to die in there. Your stubborn sister nearly got her wish.”
Beau couldn’t help but run the parallels of his relationship against Julian’s.
“What did you do?”
“She reached out to me, leaving me one of her dog tags. It just showed up one day, and I had to find her. I was so lost. I wouldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Every day, all I wanted was Tori back.”
“And?” Beau knew the significance of leaving a tag behind. Automatically, his hand went to the ones around his own neck.
“I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to get over her and letting her have time to think about it. It was the worst damn thing I’d ever done. I was hurt, pissed, and stubborn. I wouldn’t swallow my pride and go to her. After I found that tag, it was nearly too late. When I got to her, she was malnourished, broken, and giving up.”
Beau sipped his beer.
“I showed up, I brought her home, and I made her mine. I decided that I wasn’t going to let her get away. We were going to get married, and we were going to have a life. I had to stop giving her an inch. You, son, are just as stubborn. Only this time, it’s reversed. You’re giving her space. Don’t.”
“She sent me away. She doesn’t love me.”
He laughed. “Yeah, you’re an idiot.”
Beau stared. “Hey!”
“That girl loves you. She sent you away to have a chance at a family and career. I bet she’s missing you.”
He sat there. “I can’t get my heart broken again.”
“It sucks, but what will life be like without her. If you get a chance, put the hurt behind you. Grab the love and never let go. It’s worth that pain, Beau. I swear to you. It’s worth every single second.”
He shrugged. “There won’t be another chance.”
“You don’t know that.”
He laughed. “I do. I’m not worth her time. She only needed me to save her, shut Trey up, and give her some strength. When she didn't need me anymore, she sent me away. I’m just a soldier. I have nothing redeeming in my life.”
Julian knew how wrong he was. Because he was a soldier, who valiantly sacrificed, he deserved more than the ordinary man.
He served.
He was due.
Before Julian could say more, he heard the key in the lock. “Tori’s home.”
When she strolled in, she was grinning. As she winked at her husband, there was no doubt she’d done what she planned.
“I got you a present, Beau.”
He didn't look over. “No thanks. I don’t want anything.”
“Well, we finally assigned you a new partner. It took some doing, but we found the perfect match.”
He glanced over. “Tori, this is a really bad time, okay? I don’t want a partner.”
She shrugged. “You heard him, Nyx. He doesn’t want a new partner. You should head home. I was wrong.”
At her name, she entered the room.
His head nearly spun off his shoulders. As he stood, she held out her hand to stop him from charging her. “Beau, stop. I have to be honest with you.”
He didn't know what to say.
She was in the apartment. She followed him. That had to mean something, right?
“What?”
“I don’t want to be your ‘girl’. I want more. I want it all.”
What was she saying?
“All of what?”
“All of you. I want to be a permanent part of your life.”
He couldn’t believe this.
“Tori and Julian are giving me the storefront downstairs to open my shop, and I’m going to work for them too. If a case comes up, and they need my help, I’ll be your partner.”
He couldn’t think.
“So, you’re staying here? With me?”
“If you agree to my terms.”
His cheek twitched. Beau would cut out his heart for her. All she had to do is ask.
How didn't she understand that?
“Which are?” he asked as Julian and Tori grinned at each other.
“That you love me.”
“I already do.”
“That you always keep me safe.”<
br />
“I promise I will.”
“I want to get married at some point.”
“Are you asking or telling me?” he asked.
She paused, glancing over at Tori. She hoped the woman was right. “Marry me, Beau Christensen. I want to be your wife.”
His mouth dropped open.
She couldn’t move.
“Okay. Let’s go.”
Tori started laughing. “He can’t be my brother. I put up a fight. It’s embarrassing how easy he is.”
Julian covered her mouth.
“Seriously?” Nyx said.
Beau moved toward her. “If you wouldn’t have been so stubborn, you would have found out that I was planning to marry you. I don’t want a life without you, Nyx. It would be empty.”
When she went into his arms, his eyes were filled with so much love.
“Since I’m making demands,” she said.
“Yes?”
“Kiss me.”
He didn't hesitate. All that was dead in him came back to life. Here was his happiness, and she was back.
God!
She was back!
Tori cleared her throat. “Here’s the bad news,” she stated. “You two need to grab the paper and start looking for a place of your own. This love nest isn't big enough for the five of us.”
Beau grinned. “We can do that.”
“Wait,” Julian said. “Did you interview her for the job?”
Tori winked at her. “Hey, Nyxie, which do you like better, the Army or the Marines?”
She didn't hesitate. “Have you seen how hot your brother is? This Army man makes me want to climb all over him. Hoorah. Army it is.”
“Ugh. I didn't need to know that,” Tori admitted.
The men laughed.
“I do believe that I warned you that wasn’t a good interview question,” Julian reminded her. “At least life is back to normal.”
Beau dropped his arm over Nyx’s shoulders. As they headed toward the bedrooms, he stopped to kiss his sister. “Thank you for coming into my life. I love you, sis.”
She grinned. “The pleasure has been all mine.”
Nyx cleared her throat. “We need to get reacquainted. Can you watch Trey for me?” she asked, knowing he didn't need to be watching them have sex.
Truth Is Found Page 40