Before I slip past the nurse, I glance back over my shoulder. Noah’s eyes are on me, and his burning gaze follows me long after the automatic door closes behind me.
The echocardiogram takes almost an hour, and I’m glad when I’m finally dressed again, even though the test itself is a rather comfortable test.
But my mind is focused on the pressing urgency radiating through my body, the anticipation of seeing Noah again. To figure out why he’s here and what he wants. To see if he stayed.
Unless he only came to apologize? No, that would be silly, right? He could have waited a few more days for that.
When I walk out into the waiting area, I immediately spot Noah. He got comfortable in an oversized chair in the corner. Since he hasn’t spotted me yet, I make my way over to him, admiring his handsome profile.
His face is turned toward the top-to-bottom window and the hazy day outside, his gaze settled somewhere in the distance.
When I stop next to him, he turns his head, and wordlessly takes my hand to kiss it.
“Everything okay?” His sole focus is on me, and I’m momentarily stunned into silence.
His gentle gesture, the fact that he’s here—that he wants to be here—and he’s asking me about my test is . . . overwhelming. And a million other things.
Is it strange that it doesn’t feel weird to have him ask me that? When I expected it to feel odd and out of place, when I couldn’t imagine him in this part of my life, and now he’s here, and it’s just so . . . normal.
“I think so. They will give me a call in the next couple of days with the official results, but it didn’t seem like anything was raising red flags.”
“I’m glad.” Noah gets up and looms over me. After a moment of hesitation, he pulls me toward him. “You only have the chest X-ray left for today, right?”
I nod into his chest, reveling in the soft rhythm of his heartbeat under my ear. How strange a thing a heart is. So soft and breakable, yet so strong. Pulling us through the toughest times, yet failing us under dire circumstances. A total oxymoron on so many levels.
I stiffen for a moment in his arms, a desperation breaching my system like I’ve never experienced before.
What if I want to own his heart on all levels like he does mine?
My heart wants to own his, it always has. So much so that my love for this man seamlessly switched from one heart to the next. Without a hitch, without losing an ounce of love for him. That’s how pure, how true, my love for him has always been.
His breath blows in soft waves over my hair before his lips brush against my temple. “Let’s get you to your next appointment, okay?”
I nod and we make our way to the correct station on the lower level.
Noah never lets go of my hand, until my name is called by yet another nurse. Thankfully, this is the quickest test of them all, and I’m back out in less than half an hour.
This time, Noah’s gaze finds me right away when I walk toward him. His face is more relaxed than it was when he first got here, even though the dark circles under his eyes are still pronounced.
Without overthinking it, my hand goes up to trace the shadows. “You look like you could use some good rest.”
“Yeah. But not until we’ve talked.”
I stare up at him, mesmerized by the mix of adoration and something else in his gaze. Determination? He certainly showed up here today like a man on a mission.
Does he . . . Could he . . . Could we . . .
Desperation claws at me, wanting to know what he wants to talk about. But first . . . my mom. She’s probably in knots at this point, waiting for an update.
“Do you mind if we stop by my mom’s first before we talk?”
“Of course not. I was counting on that anyway.”
As we head to the parking lot, I send my mom a quick update, and tell her that we’re on our way.
I’m still nervous about my procedure tomorrow, but I try to focus on what calms me, going through some of the mindfulness exercises my therapist gave me a few years ago.
What’s weird? Normally, the nerves would be difficult to budge, but with Noah’s arm around me, I feel . . . safe and protected. Held.
I feel like I can breathe again.
Thirty-Six
Noah
I don’t let Chloe out of my sight the whole time we’re at her mom’s place. She seems her usual self, smiling and laughing with everyone, that bit of vulnerability and nerves I saw earlier at the hospital wiped clean, or at the very least, hidden.
All I want to do is wrap her in my arms and never let go. As if she knows I’m thinking about her, her eyes flicker up to look at me.
A few minutes later, a yawn escapes her.
Chloe’s mom tilts her head to the side and studies her. “You should probably go home and get some sleep. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow.”
Chloe groans. “I know. My least favorite part.”
I want to talk to her more about tomorrow, and everything else.
When I have her to myself.
“Let’s get you home.” I stand up and walk to Chloe.
Since Chloe drove herself to the hospital this morning, we’re here with both cars. The faster I can get her home, the faster we can talk.
Even though I have so much to say, I have no idea what to actually tell her. No words seem enough for the enormous shift that has happened inside of me. For the epiphany that’s taken over my body and mind, consuming me so much, there’s little room for anything else.
When another yawn ripples through her, her mom laughs and gives her a tight hug before sending us off. Her uncles already left a while ago, so it’s just been the three of us.
I’m home first. Parking in my garage before marching straight over to Chloe’s house just as she pulls into her driveway. She gets out of her car and looks at me, a small smile gracing her beautiful face.
I know she needs to go to bed, but I can’t leave her yet.
Being with her is my top priority, it’s that simple.
The uncertainty around her life and health has made that need for her even stronger.
Chloe chuckles. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
I take a step toward her. Then another.
When I stand right in front of her, I put my finger under her chin and tilt it until I can see the darkening sky reflect in her eyes. “Why shouldn’t I look at you like that?”
“Uh.”
I nod toward her door. “Let’s get you inside and to bed, okay?”
She swallows.
“Do you want me to leave?” I search her eyes, needing to know this is okay for her.
I exhale loudly when she shakes her head.
Once we’re inside, she goes through her routine. Changing into her pajamas, taking her medicine, washing her face, and brushing her teeth.
We’re both quiet through the whole process. I’m not sure if it’s our fear that feeds the silence or our hope. Sometimes, hope is almost worse than fear because the fall can be so much more dangerous.
When Chloe walks out of the bathroom and plays with the hem of her shirt, I beckon her over to where I sit on the edge of the bed.
I take one of her hands in mine and play with her fingers. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just a long day.”
I rub my thumb over the smooth skin of her hand. “And tomorrow you have your angiogram, right?”
I’ve caught bits and pieces about the procedure and read a quick summary about it online. Apparently, they inject contrast dye into an artery in the leg via a thin, flexible tube so they can see the veins and arteries on an X-ray. Sounds pretty grueling to me. I’m glad Chloe only has to do this once a year.
On the other side, I can’t help but be grateful for all of these procedures, medications, and tests—no matter how uncomfortable they sound—because they allow her to be here. Where I can touch her, see her, where I can be with her.
“Thankfully, I don’t feel it because of the local anesthesia
. It’s just a long day. Having to lie flat on my back for four to six hours at the hospital so the groin entry side can heal is more annoying than anything, but a necessary evil. Usually, I just read a book while I wait.”
“I can come and keep you company once you’re done if you’d like?”
She looks up from where she was staring at our hands. “Why would you want to do that?”
I blow out a breath. This isn’t really going according to plan. “We can do this another time. You need to get some sleep.”
“I’m fine.” She disentangles my hand and stands up, her nervous energy cascading around her like an invisible force. “Don’t get me wrong, I love that you’re here, that you dropped by today, but I need to know what this is—what we are—or I’ll go crazy. I’ve had enough sleepless nights as it is.”
Shit.
“I’m here because I don’t want to miss another moment with you.”
Her little gasp urges me on to continue. “I can’t pretend the whole kids thing wasn’t a total kick to the balls because it was. It still is. It hurts, and I’m sure it’ll hurt for a long time, if not forever. But missing out on you—on us—would hurt even more. I don’t know if I would survive that.”
Unshed tears shimmer in her eyes as she hangs on my every word.
I stand up and step in front of her. Close enough to feel her breath on my skin, to be able to cup her face in my hands and stare into her eyes. “When I imagine my future, all I can see is you. It’s always been you, little bird. Always.”
The first tear rolls down her cheek, and I wipe it away.
But I’m not done yet. “I want to wake up next to you, and I want to fall asleep with you in my arms.”
She nods, her lips pressed into a pout. “I want that too . . . so much.”
The pads of my thumbs are wet from her tears as I lean down to touch her forehead with mine. “You and me, baby.”
Her head moves against mine in a nod before her body catches up with us again and she yawns.
“Okay, bedtime. Now.”
She wipes at her eyes and smiles at me. “Will you stay?”
“Of course.” I lean in to kiss her gently. “I meant it when I said I don’t want to waste another second with you.”
“I feel the same way.”
“Thank fuck.” This time, our kiss is deeper, and I indulge in it. In the feel of her soft lips on mine, the minty flavor of her toothpaste still on her tongue. Her hands as they dig into my waist. The way she pushes her body against mine.
And that’s when I pull the brakes. Begrudgingly.
I could fill buckets with the frustration I’m feeling over not having my way with her right now when all I want to do is strip her naked and bury myself deep within her. So deep that she can still feel me next week. Right after I’d taste every inch of her magnificent body that I’ve missed so much. Lick her. Nibble on her.
But her health is more important. To get rid of those dark circles under her eyes higher on my priority list than my raging hard-on. Even though he’d like to disagree with that.
After one more lengthy kiss, I finally pull back and allow the words to flow out of my mouth. “I love you.”
Her hands bite into my sides. “I love you.”
Another gentle kiss before I pull her into my arms and hold her tight. Ready to fight for this woman, to fight alongside her. Because her struggles are mine, and I’ll try my damnedest to bring her as much happiness as I can. She deserves every single bit of it.
I lead her to the bed and pull the covers back. “Hop in, I’ll be right back.”
After a quick bathroom break and shedding most of my clothes except for my boxers, I climb in next to her.
“Come here.” I pull her into my side like I’ve done so many times before.
But this time it feels different. More substantial, more significant.
My brain is busy putting puzzle pieces together in my mind. Shifting things around until I can see it all clearly.
My life. My future. My friends and my family. My new career as a coach. And Chloe. The woman I plan to marry, even though I know we don’t need a piece of paper to prove that we belong together. Our hearts made that decision for us a long time ago.
She wiggles in my arms, trying to get closer, to get more comfortable. When I start brushing my fingers lightly over her back, she finally stills. Some things never change, which isn’t always a bad thing.
I lie there for a while, listening to Chloe’s breathing slow down.
Wishing I could protect her from what she’s dealing with now and will face in the future. But isn’t that what life is all about? What love is all about? To find that special someone and make their life better? To be their equal and protector. To help them ease their pain and lift their spirits and get through the tough times side by side.
I want to be all that.
I will be everything for her.
Even if she’s snoring straight into my ear.
Thirty-Seven
Chloe
If Noah won’t touch me soon, I will lose my freaking mind.
Waking up to him every morning since my exams last week has been absolutely amazing, yet torturous when my body wants so much more than just being held. Okay, we’ve made out a few times, but Noah always stops before it can get any further. My incision site has healed, leaving only a small bruise and new skin in its wake.
But nope, Noah insists that he wants to be safe, not wanting to risk hurting me.
So, it’s time to take matters into my own hands, so to speak.
When I woke up a few minutes ago, Noah was splayed on his back next to me, the blanket low on his stomach. I mean, it’s like he’s presenting himself on a silver platter to me. That gorgeous chest I want to feast on, those muscular arms I want wrapped around me. And then all the goodies that are still hiding under the blanket.
Heat shoots through my body and lands firmly between my thighs.
Oh screw this.
Channeling every ounce of ninja power I possess, I push my hand under the blanket and slowly make my way over to his side. I’m strung so tight that I have to bite my lip to keep from groaning when I feel the soft material of his boxers underneath my fingertips.
Sooo close.
“Chloe, what are you doing?” Noah’s voice is deep and gruff, filled with sleep.
I love it.
Who knew what a turn-on that would be too?
My body is lighting up like a Christmas tree, and I’m not even embarrassed by the fact that I was caught with my hand almost in his pants.
It’s his fault really. How am I supposed to stay sane when he snuggles up to me every single night, his body setting mine on fire? Just to be doused with the equivalent of cold water every time I try to make a move.
“It’s been almost a week.” I sound whiny, but I don’t even care. I want him, like yesterday.
We’re finally together, for good, spending as much time together as possible. And I’m happy, so incredibly happy . . . and horny. But that’s clearly a different beast to tackle. And tackle it, I will.
“The doctors said I’m okay. The test results were all good.” I send Noah a glare that hopefully conveys how frustrated I am.
“I know. And I couldn’t be more thrilled.” He rolls on top of me, his morning erection greeting me hungrily. It’s also pressing on the exact spot I need it so badly. After pressing a soft kiss on my lips, he lifts himself off me again. “Go get ready, baby. I have a surprise for you.”
“You do?”
He nods and waggles his eyebrows.
“Wait. Is this a sex-related surprise?”
After staring at me like I’ve just grown a third eye, he laughs and shakes his head at me. “No, it’s not. Now go.”
I pout like the sex-starved woman I feel like and throw the blanket back, fully planning on taking care of things myself when I’m in the shower. Two strong hands grab me by the waist and haul me back against Noah’s hard body.
A shiver ripples through me as I feel his breath on my neck. When his teeth catch my earlobe and bite gently, I’m about ready to dissolve into a puddle of pure lust.
He pulls back after one more kiss to my neck. “I’ll be right there too.”
After a slap on my butt, I walk to the bathroom in a daze. Using the toilet and brushing my teeth on autopilot while the shower warms up.
My clothes are in a small heap by my feet as I step into the shower. Less than a minute later, the bathroom door opens. Since the shower partition isn’t glass though, I can only hear him moving around.
When he pulls the shower curtain back a few minutes later and steps into the shower with me, my heart skips a beat.
“Hey, little bird.”
My mouth opens but nothing comes out as I stare up at him.
He takes a step toward me, and my breath quickens. I crave his touch so much that I automatically sway toward him. When his hands land on my hips and he comes closer, I’m more than ready to combust.
“I . . . I thought you had a surprise for me?” My eyes bore into his, unable to look away for even a moment.
He chuckles, clearly enjoying that he’s got me so obviously worked up. “I do, but I never said we have to hurry up. We have plenty of time until we have to leave.”
“Oh.”
“Which comes in handy since it seems like we have a problem we need to take care of first.”
I swallow. “We do?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Mmm.” Desire spreads through me like a wildfire. Hot and ready to destroy if it’s not being taken care of.
“What are we going to do about that?” He lifts a hand and brushes his fingertips across my cheek and down my neck. Between my breasts and over my stomach. Stopping right on the curve of my hip, and moving around to my butt. “I love your ass.”
With a quick pull, we’re flush against each other. Our wet skin hot and burning between us. His hard length presses against my stomach in a way that’s both exciting and agonizing. When he starts moving against me, I close my eyes from the delicious friction.
Second Dive: A Second Chance Sports Romance (Kings Of The Water Book 3) Page 23