by Kit Tunstall
“What did you want to talk about?”
“I have to tell you everything, and then if you want me to leave, I will.”
“I do expect you to leave my tent sometime this evening.” He said the words in a teasing fashion, but his expression was serious. “Tell me whatever’s weighing you down, Sofia.”
“Do you know where Fort Glacier is?” At his nod, I said, “That’s where I spent the last year. I was being held prisoner, though at first it was under the guise of helping others. I received the vaccine, and I got ill.” I broke off for a moment, barely stifling a snort. Ill didn’t begin to cover how sick I had been. Simultaneously hot and cold, shivering, confused, and vomiting blood. Ill was far too tepid to really sum that up. “Obviously, I caught the hemorrhagic version of HLV, but I did something completely unexpected.”
“You survived it,” he said with a hint of awe.
I nodded. “No one expected that. The mortality rate is ninety percent, so in theory, people can recover, but very few did. It made me of special interest to them, especially since most of the soldiers and scientists at Fort Glacier haven’t been exposed to HLV, so they don’t know their immunity status. Presumably, most of them aren’t immune. They want a vaccine, and they want it badly.”
He grimaced. “They were holding you while they tried to find the answer to the vaccine in your blood?”
I nodded. “I finally escaped two days ago. The captain had been increasingly inappropriate with me, and he attacked me that morning. I managed to knock him out with his gun and steal his security badge. I got off base and ran, but I don’t know if they’re still looking for me. I imagine they are, and if they know anything about Camp Utopia, they’ll come looking here too. I don’t want to put all of the rest of you at risk, so if you want me to leave, I’ll do it.”
He frowned, seeming to consider the situation for a long moment. “It doesn’t seem right to send you out there alone. That wouldn’t be right at all.”
I bit my lip. “Do you think you should vote on it?”
He hesitated for a moment, looking torn. “If we vote on it, I’m pretty sure the decision will be to send you away. We’ve all been through a lot, and no one wants more trouble, especially not the remnants of the government breathing down our necks.”
Disappointment welled in me, along with a strong dose of fear as I contemplated making it on my own. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. I wasn’t prepared for the challenge, but at least I had done the right thing by warning these people. It was a small comfort that left me completely cold.
“You have to stay here and out of sight as much as possible. I’m going on a run tomorrow, so I’ll look for some hair dye, and you can change your appearance that way as much as possible.” He gave me a crooked grin. “I assume that’s why you cut off all that gorgeous hair?”
I nodded. “I was planning to try to get dye somewhere. Are you sure about this? I don’t want to put anyone in danger, and I don’t want to put you in a position where you feel like you’re betraying the people you’re taking care of.”
Ben didn’t hesitate this time. He just nodded. “I’m sure. If I send you away, I might as well drive you back to Fort Glacier myself, because if they’re looking for you, they’ll find you if you’re out there alone.”
Maybe I should have been insulted by his lack of faith in me, but it mirrored my own. I was realistic enough to know I didn’t have the skills necessary to evade a coordinated military search. “What do we do if they come here to the camp?”
“Betsy and Joel have a little root cellar in the space they’re using for the kitchen. It’s not very big, but there’s room for you to fit down there, and enough oxygen for you to hide for a couple of hours. If it comes to that, we’ll put you down there and hide the entry with some of the appliances. With any luck, they won’t even come through. Come back to my tent tomorrow night, and I’ll have hair dye for you. I’ll help you change your appearance as much as possible, and we’ll just have to be cautious.”
I nodded, uncertain if it would work, but wanting to stay badly enough to take the chance. Even if they came looking for me, and things looked like they were going to get violent, I could always turn myself over to the Fort Glacier people if I had to. I wasn’t going to let anyone die to keep me here, but I wanted to stay.
Again the next night, I entered Ben’s tent, moving to his residence portion and knocking on the pole again. He lifted the flap for me, and I entered. I discovered he’d set up a small table in the corner, along with a couple of pans of water and some rubber gloves. There was a box of a lurid shade of burgundy hair dye on the table. I grimaced at the color, but it was certainly a drastic change from my own rich brown.
With surgical precision, he peeled off his shirt and started slipping on rubber gloves. “You might want to take off your top, because I can’t guarantee you won’t get dye all over it. I’ve never done this before.”
My heart rate accelerated, and I licked my lips. “I haven’t either. My mother would have had a fit if I dyed my hair. She was the reason it was so long too. She never really let me cut it, and when I got older, I didn’t want to hurt her by going against her wishes.” My mother would have freaked out to see my hair as short as it was now, and she would have cursed a stream of Spanish at me if she’d seen the hair dye. Or maybe not under the circumstances. Most of all, she loved me, and she would have wanted me to be safe. This was one of the best ways to ensure I could be.
It was awkward to be taking off my shirt in front of him, and there was enough vanity in me to be glad I had worn one of the lacy bras I’d found in that young woman’s drawer the day I stayed at the farmhouse to cut the chip out of my arm. I winced a little bit as I pulled the shirt free, the fabric catching on a curled up edge of the bandage Grace had applied for me that morning. She’d said it was healing well, and she didn’t seem concerned about infection, but it was still painful, especially when I tugged on it too much. Laundry and gardening had been a special form of hell, but I had persisted and pushed through the pain, feeling the need to contribute.
His gaze warmed at the sight of my breasts, and he seemed to have a difficult time looking away from my cleavage. I was having an equally difficult time looking away from the expanse of his chest. I’d seen it the other morning, but now it was closer in a way, though the distance was farther. It was just the two of us in his tent, temptingly close to his bed.
He cleared his throat and looked away, gesturing toward the table. “Why don’t you get on your knees, and I’ll put in the hair dye? I was reading instructions, and the longer you leave it in, the more intense it will be. I thought maybe a half-hour to an hour?”
I shrugged. “Whatever you think. I’ve never done this before,” I said again. Following his directions, I got to my knees and bent over the first basin, careful to keep my face out of the water, and my hair dry. A moment later, he used a cup to start wetting my hair, and I assumed that was part of the process. It felt amazing to have his fingers stroking through my hair, and it was something my ex-boyfriend had never done. He’d never washed my hair, and his idea of foreplay had been wrapping it around his fist as he held my mouth against his cock.
Since my hair was short, it didn’t take long for him to apply the dye, followed by a plastic cap. I heard the snap of his rubber gloves coming off and looked up. “Can I get up?”
He nodded, and I started to get to my feet. I braced my hands on the table to stand up, wincing when pain shot down my arm. My legs were still a little wobbly, either from sitting in the position I’d maintained for too long, or perhaps a lingering effect of lack of exercise for the past year. Whatever it was, I didn’t even make it to my feet before I stumbled and started to fall sideways.
Ben caught me, keeping me from crashing to the floor, though we both tipped sideways, ending up partially sprawled across the bed and partially on the floor. I was so embarrassed I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. A strange mix of both poured from me as I giggled w
hile tears streamed down my face. He laughed with me for a moment, and then he put his arm around me in a strictly comforting hug as I cried.
I could feel it building to that ugly cry I’d been expecting to overtake me, but I couldn’t seem to push back the need to let it out. I didn’t speak, and I didn’t sob. I just cried silently against him as my body shook and tears flooded his bare chest.
At some point, I realized he was rubbing my back in a soothing motion and whispering encouraging words, but I couldn’t seem to completely focus on what they were. I was still too trapped in releasing the grief and fear I’d held locked inside for far too long.
When the last of my tears faded, and my body finally stopped shaking, Ben pulled away from me just enough to look down, his fingers tender as he wiped my cheeks. I should have been embarrassed by the display, but I couldn’t seem to muster the energy to do so.
“Are you feeling better now?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I guess I am.” The pleasantly numb sensation that had consumed me toward the end of my crying jag started to fade, and when my emotions returned, they weren’t as sharp and jagged as they had been. I still felt a hollow pang inside at the loss of my family as I deliberately focused my thoughts on them, but it wasn’t the same sharp shard of grief that dug into my belly for the last two days now that I was free to focus on something besides surviving Fort Glacier. “It’s amazing how cathartic that was.”
He shrugged. “There’s no substitute for a good cry sometimes.”
Abruptly, I realized how close we were together, and the fact that we were both lying on his bed. He must have shifted us higher when I was sobbing, because our legs no longer dangled off the edge. We were in the center of his bed, his arms around me, and my face scant inches from his chest. All I had to do was turn my head, and my face would be buried there again. I licked my lips, suddenly indecisive. What did I want? Did I just want comfort in human contact, did I want to lose myself in sex, or did I want Ben specifically?
Looking up through the veil of my lashes at his beautiful profile, my heart raced, feeling like it was trying to beat out of my chest. That question was answered, but the other question I hadn’t yet asked remained unanswered. “Do you want me, Ben?”
He groaned, a low rumble in his throat that vibrated through his chest and into me. “I’d have to be dead not to, but the timing is wrong. You’re still distraught—”
He broke off with another groan as I lowered my head to his chest, trailing my tongue down his sternum before moving my head slightly, craning my neck so I could flick my tongue across his nipple.
“Sofia…” Whatever he planned to say, he must have forgotten or decided not to, because a moment later, his hands moved to my waist, and he flipped us over so I was straddling him. I bent my head to kiss him, and his lips molded to mine with a spark I could feel permeating my entire body. His tongue slipped inside my mouth, and I caressed it with my own as our kiss grew progressively hungrier and more frantic. I’d never kissed anyone like this before, as though my very existence hinged on what I could draw from his mouth.
But I wasn’t just taking. I was giving too. It was a shared hunger between us, and it rocked me to the core. It completely blew away my previous tepid experience with my single boyfriend, who had been what he considered a badass vato in the old neighborhood, but had really just been a pathetic wannabe thug with a clear lack of bedroom skills. That much was obvious within just a few minutes of being in Ben’s arms.
I shivered at the chill in the air when his fingers unclasped my bra, spilling my breasts out for his hungry gaze as he tore his mouth away from mine. He groaned low in his throat as he urged me to slide higher up his body, so his mouth could find my nipple. The bud was so hard it practically hurt, but his mouth against it provided an unexpected surge of relief, even as it increased the arousal thrumming through me.
I issued a moan of protest when his mouth left, though I knew he was only moving to the other breast. It received similar attention, and I threaded my fingers through his dark hair, holding him more tightly against me. I was rocking my hips mindlessly, leaving slick proof of my arousal on his stomach.
His hands dipped lower, cupping my ass and squeezing for a moment before rising to the waistband, flicking open the snap and lowering the zipper without a visible tremble. He seemed sure and confident, except his body occasionally quivered in his need for me.
I felt selfish, so I moved away from him, sliding down his body to deal with his jeans and briefs, so I could free his erection. It was a warm and solid weight in my hand, and I stroked the length of him, squeezing my hand lightly in appreciation of the girth. He certainly had my ex-boyfriend beat in that department too.
When I slipped my hands in the waistband of his pants and underwear, he lifted his hips to facilitate me pulling them off. I dispensed with them quickly, having little patience for the tedious task. I got to my feet long enough to remove the rest of my own clothes before returning to him. I straddled Ben, intent on tasting him, but let out a little yelp of surprise when he picked me up and flipped us over yet again, so I was underneath him. I frowned up at him. “I was going to—”
“No,” he said in a thick, almost animalistic growl. “I can’t hold on right now if you do that. It’s been too long, and I want you too badly.”
I nodded my understanding, not about to be so noble when his mouth went lower. I shared the same desperate hunger, but I didn’t have it in me to refuse his mouth on my pussy when he drifted between my legs. If I were nicer, I would have taken him inside me then, but I wanted to enjoy the experience and draw it out as much as possible.
He practically attacked me, though his mouth was gentle despite his eagerness. It had never been like this with Carlos, and I’d always faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. There was no faking involved with Ben. He licked me with delicate precision, combined with fierce hunger, and my entire universe distilled down to the point between my legs where his tongue met my flesh. Everything was tight and hyper-focused until an orgasm crashed over me, shattering everything around me for a moment as I lost myself in the pleasure.
I was still trembling from release when Ben moved up my body again, splaying my thighs wide to accommodate the length of him. I heard a foil packet tear, and I could feel his hands moving between us for a moment as he slid on a condom. And then he was inside me. He slipped inside my slick channel with little resistance, because I needed him so badly. He was large, but I quickly adjusted, and my greedy body seemed to want more as I tightened around him, clinging to his cock when my inner muscles clamped around him.
He put his hands on my face, cupping my cheeks between his palms as our gazes locked. He moved in and out of me rapidly, going as deeply as he could before withdrawing to surge inside again. There was nothing elegant about our thrusts. We were uncoordinated and jerky, both rushing to the peak and eager to sweep each other over the edge.
I started to cry out as I came, clenching around him and spurring his shaft to spasm inside me as he also climaxed. His mouth slanted over mine, stealing my sounds of passion and keeping the moment quiet and between just the two of us. For a moment, I’d forgotten we were in a tent, and my sounds of pleasure would quickly carry throughout the camp. It didn’t really matter, since we were both consenting adults, but I preferred to keep this between just the two of us. It was more special that way.
When he finally pulled away from me a few minutes later, he was breathing heavily and held me against his body with one arm. When he cursed, I was surprised. “What’s wrong?” Had it been lacking in some way? He seemed as sated as me, but maybe I’d misread something.
“Nothing’s wrong really, but we forgot to rinse out your hair dye.”
I giggled in spite of myself, wincing as I imagined how ridiculously red my hair would be. It was a small price to pay for the last hour of passion.
We rolled from the bed, and he washed my hair with efficient movements, soon filling the one basin with red water. I was af
raid I was going to end up looking like Bozo the Clown, but when he handed me a mirror a few minutes later, I was pleasantly surprised to find that though it was far more vibrant than I’d expected, it was actually flattering with my olive skin tones and big brown eyes. I looked pretty good, though my eyebrows were a strange contrast. I’d just have to live with that.
“That reminds me. I found the hair dye at one of those Halloween shops, and they also had contact lenses.” He reached behind himself to the dresser, before holding out a plastic container to me. I looked down, seeing a variety of contacts from which to choose. They were all the kind that masks the appearance without providing correction, and I had a plethora of choices. It was a twelve-pack, and I flipped it open to select a pair of vibrant green.
It was a little difficult getting the lens into my eye, since I’d never had to wear them before, but I soon had them blinked into place. When I looked in the mirror, I looked completely different. I was still Sofia, but I doubted anyone at Fort Glacier would have recognized me without a super-close examination. The contacts had been a stroke of genius, and I turned my attention to Ben to show him my appreciation for his intelligent gift.
Chapter Five
I was afraid things would be awkward afterward, but we quickly settled into being a couple. I stayed in his bed that first night and never really left. I got into the routine of the camp as well, rotating through most of the jobs I was capable of performing my first week.
In some ways, it was difficult to believe only a week had passed, because memories of my old life, before the HLV virus, were becoming a distant and hazy memory. There were still sharp, dark memories of the year I’d spent as a prisoner at Fort Glacier, and I didn’t think that time period would take on the same blurred edges in my memory for a long time, if ever. Still, despite the nightmares that occasionally woke me at night, when I turned to Ben for comfort, I was moving past being a prisoner and finding contentment in my new life.