Madison Johns - Agnes Barton 06 - Bigfoot in Tawas

by Madison Johns

  I replied with, “Is anyone, really?”

  “I’m sure she is,” Eleanor said.

  Pamela Ann Tucker seemed to be the silent one of the group, but she had the most radiant smile. I still didn’t know what to do so we went and ordered a tea. Once it was handed to me, I cradled my chai tea gently in my hands and wondered just why I was even here. I admired the place with its built-in shelves that displayed clay teapots and infusers. They had a green counter where you could open up tins with loose leaf tea so you could smell the blends. Their staff was on hand to assist customers with their selections.

  Eleanor opened a tin and took a whiff. “This is like being in a candy store, but better since many teas have such health benefits.”

  “I suppose, but I’m not that much of a health nut. Ginger tea, for instance, is way too strong for me.”

  “Have you tried green tea?” the girl at the counter suggested. “It has many health benefits.”

  I nodded. “I’m more of a chai tea latte lover.”

  That brought a smile to the girl’s lips. Her eyes widened when a woman with a gangly young lady wearing a leather jacket walked to the counter and introduced herself as Madison Johns. Madison turned and smiled at us with a nod of her head. She only wore jeans and a simple blouse that you could get off a rack at Walmart, and couldn’t be forty—if that. She adjusted her glasses as she was told to set her belongings at a far table.

  “Wow, she sure seems nice,” Eleanor remarked. “I wonder if that girl is her daughter.”

  “Or partner,” I said. “Hard telling, these days.”

  Eleanor nodded. “From the looks of that girl, I’m guessing daughter. She doesn’t seem all that happy to be here.”

  “Teenage angst, no doubt.”

  Martha didn’t hold back and introduced herself to Madison. Instead of acting mad about the interruption, Madison shook Martha’s hand. Martha motioned El and I over and we exchanged names.

  “My mother and her friend, Eleanor, are quite the sleuths in Tawas.”

  Madison smoothed back her short spiked hair. “Is that, right? How exciting. Have you ever been arrested?”

  “Why … do you ask?”

  “I can bet the sheriff wouldn’t like to have two senior aged ladies to investigate, was my thinking. At least that’s how I like to portray my characters.”

  “You got that one right. You might want to portray characters in a better light. Like, do your sleuths act all frail since they’re senior citizens?”

  “Not at all. They even have boyfriends.”

  El clapped her hands. “I love it.”

  “This is my daughter, Andrea.”

  “Hello,” I said. “I have a granddaughter named Andrea.”

  “What a small world. I’d love to chat with you gals in a more relaxing atmosphere and I’m not all that much of a teetotaler, if you catch my drift.”

  “So you like alcohol, then?”

  “Sure do. Would you girls like a signed copy of my book?”

  Madison then took our names and before we even knew it we had purchased a signed book. I left and began questioning the help. “Have you heard the stories of Bigfoot circulating in town?”

  The blonde with the name of Mandy displayed on her nametag shuffled her feet. “Yes, crazy, huh?”

  “I’m not sure. Stranger things have happened in town before.”

  “Have you ever seen anything that resembles Bigfoot before?” Eleanor asked.

  “Actually … yes. There’s a couple of hunting camps behind the Iosco County airport. Now, mind you, behind that is a swamp and woods that lead all the way to the Au Sable River. Anyway, I was with my boyfriend, Bobby, and we were messing around, you know.”

  “I don’t think I do. What do you mean?” I asked for clarification.

  “We were out there goofing off.”

  “And smoking a little reefer?” El asked.

  Mandy snuck a glance at the manager who walked into the back. “Yes, but I swear there was something out there with us. There was a horrible smell, and…”

  “Did it happen to smell like a dirty dog and feet?” I asked.

  “Yes, how did you know?”

  “Because I smelled the same thing out at the Matlin place.”

  She sighed. “Anyway, we heard a strange noise like a whooping noise. I’ve never heard anything like it before. It scared us so bad that we left and I haven’t gone back since.”

  “So, you didn’t actually see anything, then?”

  “No, but just thinking about that noise is enough for me to say that Billy Matlin might not be crazy, after all.”

  “How can you be so sure it wasn’t a coyote?”

  “I’ve heard them before, and it didn’t sound anything like that.”

  “But you never visually saw anything?”

  “No.”

  “How about any footprints?”

  “We didn’t stick around to find out. Word has it that Billy Matlin’s neighbors might have seen Bigfoot, too. You might want to check that out. Sorry I can’t be of more help.”

  “You were plenty of help, Mandy. Thanks.”

  She went back to work and the Cozy Cats book club stared at Madison Johns like she was Mick Jagger, which was weird as heck. We didn’t stick around to find out how many people showed up. I was hot on the trail of Bigfoot. I was more than convinced now that Bigfoot in Tawas had to be more than just the ramblings of Billy Matlin. Not that I had any proof, mind you. I just had a feeling, and I had to figure out our next move.

  Martha and her friend, Joshua, stayed behind since Newman Street was only a skip and hop from the Tawas campground. I’m still not sold on the idea that the young man was just helping her make jewelry, but I wasn’t all that concerned at the time since El and I were supposed to meet someone from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service at Tim Horton’s.

  Chapter Three

  El and I soon were making way for Tim Horton’s, and once we were in the lobby, I found the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service investigator easy enough. Not so much by his uniform, but by the crew-cut hairstyle that I knew most investigators had.

  I approached a man in jeans and T-shirt. “Are you with the U.S.—?”

  He cut me off as he said, “Please have a seat.”

  El and I sat opposite him. He was tall. I could only estimate at least six feet tall since his legs were folded beneath the table. “I’m Agnes Barton, and this is Eleanor Mason.”

  At this point, he didn’t even take out a notebook or pen. “I gathered as much from the phone call, but what did you have to report?”

  “Well, we have some animal hair here that I’d like to have tested,” I began as I handed a baggie to him.

  He eyeballed the bag, but he didn’t take it. “We’re not in the habit of testing random animal hair, unless it’s associated to a crime that involves an endangered species.”

  “I see. Well, what do you constitute a crime exactly?”

  “Property and livestock damage, or poaching. Do you have anything to report that fits that description?”

  I stared into the man’s steel gray eyes. “Well, no. I mean not yet. What kind of proof do you need?”

  “Dead livestock or endangered animal carcasses. Do you have any evidence of that?”

  “Can’t you just test this hair?” I implored.

  “It doesn’t work like that, as I’ve already said. It has to be the scene of a crime.” He raised a brow at my baggie stuffed with hair. “And we’d have to collect our own samples.”

  I snatched back the baggie. I was madder than a wet hen. “Fine. I guess I’ll have to check out the area again. If we find the evidence you’re looking for, how can I reach you?”

  He handed me his card and stared at the name. Special Agent Duane Dillard. “Thanks. We’ll be in touch.”

  * * *

  Once we were back in the car, Eleanor asked me, “Why didn’t you mention anything about Bigfoot?”

  “Because I didn’t want that man to t
hink we’re nuts. Besides, once he sees the animal carcass, he’ll be more than justified to launch an investigation.”

  “What carcass?” El asked.

  “The one we’re going to plant, of course.”

  “Like as in an endangered species?” When I nodded, Eleanor laughed. “How on earth do you plan to do that? It’s not like this is the Upper Peninsula and we have a Canadian Lynx running around.”

  “Of course not, but we do have bald eagles and I spotted a carcass laying on US 23 near your place.”

  Eleanor’s cheeks puffed up. “You can’t be seriously considering scraping an eagle carcass off the side of the road, can you?”

  I slammed on the gas, and said, “If there’s anything left that hasn’t been picked clean by the turkey vultures.”

  I drove to where I had seen the eagle and veered off the side of the road. I waved my arms until the vultures lazily flew away. I then opened the trunk, and pulled out clothing that was in the truck that I had intended to drop off in a Goodwill bin.

  Eleanor followed me. “You can’t be serious. You’re really going to pick up that dead thing?”

  “Yes, of course. We need it to get the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service involved in this case.”

  “It smells, and probably has maggots by now.” She swiped a hand in an attempt at bating flies away that swarmed near the dead bird. “I hope you don’t expect me to pick that thing up.”

  “I’ll do it, but be a dear and body block me would you, so oncoming traffic doesn’t see what I’m doing.”

  Eleanor held out her arms and swayed her body as a truck passed, but instead of traveling past, it pulled off the road. Two men then exited the vehicle and approached us as I tried valiantly to conceal the bird in the shirt.

  “Agnes and Eleanor,” Curt Hill said. “Is that you?”

  His brother, Curtis, smiled with a raised brow, “What do you have there?”

  I tried to hold the carcass from their view. “Nothing. You boys should just go along and mind your own business.”

  “Our ma would be awfully mad if we didn’t at least help you out,” Curt said. “Whatever it is can’t be all that bad or illegal.”

  Not compared to their activities in the Michigan Militia, no doubt, I thought and sighed. “Only if you promise to keep it to yourself and not laugh.”

  Curtis folded his arms across his broad chest. “This I have to hear.”

  I showed the men what was left of the bald eagle. “See, there’s nothing illegal about picking up road kill, is there?”

  Curtis scrunched up his face as he choked out, “I guess not, but why in tarnation would you want to be doing that!”

  “Why do you even care? Don’t you boys have your own illegal—”

  Eleanor cut me off, and said, “Agnes means I’m sure you boys are too busy to be worrying about what we two are doing.”

  “We’re not worried,” Curt began, “but I’m sure curious.”

  “Fine, then. We’re trying to get the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service out to Billy Matlin’s place to test animal hair that we believe might belong to Bigfoot, but—” I never got more out as both Curt and Curtis backed off and strutted back to their big, red, redneck-looking truck, and left us sputtering in the dust as they tore off.

  “Well, I’ll be,” I started.

  “Obviously, those boys think we’re about as nuts as Billy Matlin.”

  “Is that how you see it, Eleanor? That Matlin is off his rocker?”

  “I’m not sure, but you might want to pick up more of those eagle feathers if you plan to convince that man back at Tim Horton’s that an endangered species was poached. But is a bald eagle even an endangered species, Aggie?”

  “I don’t think so, but I do believe that they’re still highly protected.” I picked up the remaining eagle feathers and concealed what I had found in the trunk of the car.

  Once I was behind the wheel and Eleanor was beside me, I tore away from the side of the road and headed to Billy Matlin’s place.

  Chapter Four

  When I jerked the steering wheel into Billy’s place, he was gone. “This might work even better,” I said. “No witnesses.”

  Eleanor’s face had been puffed up since we left US 23. “What’s up with you?”

  She jumped from the car when I stopped, sputtering, “Oh, thank God. I was dying for a breath of fresh air.”

  “What on earth?”

  “Sorry, but Aggie, you smell like decomposition.”

  “You watch too much CSI Miami,” I said as I retrieved the animal carcass from the trunk and made my way for the woods behind the Billy’s place. I found a rusted hood from a truck beneath the jack pines covered in dead needles, and scattered the bald eagle’s carcass, kicking needles atop it so that it would not look planted and look like it might have been here for a while.

  “I guess that’s it. All I we have to do now is to call Special Agent Dillard back and report our findings.”

  “Who?” El asked.

  “The man from fish and game that we met at Tim Horton’s.”

  “Okay, but you might want to get cleaned up first because you smell.”

  “Point taken, but maybe we should wait until morning so it doesn’t seem quite so obvious.”

  “You mean so it doesn’t look like you just planted evidence, because that’s what you kind of just did.” Eleanor bit her fingernail. “I sure hope they don’t figure out we were here making it look like some Bigfoot killed a bald eagle.”

  “Don’t worry, El. I’m sure that they’ll just have reason enough to test the hair now.”

  “He did say that they’d collect their own samples, remember?”

  “I remember. That’s why I’ll simply put that animal hair close by.”

  “Won’t that look a little suspect, Aggie?”

  “I don’t have much of a choice, unless you happen to see any other hair hereabouts?”

  Eleanor glanced around. “Nope, none that I can see with these old eyes. I just don’t feel right about doing this is all. Maybe we should just take a look around first, and if we don’t see any hair then I guess you can leave what you have. But Aggie, how can we be so sure that hair was even found here? I mean, what do we know about Billy Matlin, other than Trooper Sales mentioning that he was quite the drinker?”

  I thought about it for a moment. “I guess you’re right, Eleanor, but how else will we ever be sure if that hair belongs to Bigfoot?”

  “Bigfoot? For all we know there’s no Bigfoot. We have to consider the fact that Billy is just nuts.”

  “Before we make that assumption, it might be best if we canvas the neighborhood.”

  “Not too many houses way out here, but doesn’t the Cat Lady live close by?”

  The mere mention of the Cat Lady sent shivers through my body. She’s about as odd as they come. She’s also a cat hoarder, thus the name, Cat Lady. We found out not long ago that her real name is Bernice Riley, but personally, I can’t imagine calling her anything but the Cat Lady.

  El and I left for my house so I could take a quick shower. While I was in the shower trying to remove the remnants the bald eagle’s stench from my body, Eleanor kept my cat Duchess quite happy with a serious petting.

  Once I was re-dressed in white slacks and a green button up shirt, I sauntered into the living room. I brushed my wet hair and tried to fluff it out, hoping that it would dry fast.

  Eleanor glanced around the room. “I love this place, Aggie, but aren’t you worried staying here all by yourself since it’s nestled in the woods?”

  “No, should I be?”

  “Well, since you believe Bigfoot is running amuck, what would stop him from coming here?”

  I gave this some thought as it made logical sense. “I suppose you’re right, El, but we don’t know for sure if Bigfoot is indeed anywhere near the Tawas area. Besides, this is Tadium, not Tawas.”

  “Sure, but it’s a stone’s throw from where Tadium borders Tawas.”

  I’d ra
ther not think about it that way. “Sure, and I’d worry if Bigfoot is established in the area, but it’s quite possible that Billy is a bit out there. Didn’t you think you saw something when we went out to Billy’s place?”

  “I thought I saw two red eyes staring at me through the trees, but I can’t be so sure now. Maybe my imagination was playing games with me.”

  I made a pot of coffee, and said, “You’re so wishy-washy, El.”

  She shrugged. “So what if I am? I’m not ready to be locked up in the loony bin with Billy.”

  I poured us each a cup of coffee, adding plenty of vanilla creamer in my cup. “I just hope this isn’t all a farce on his part. I’d hate to think we’ve gone this far on the lunatic ravings of a madman.”

  “Stranger things have happened.”

  The phone rang and I went to answer it, smiling when I heard my fiancé Andrew Hart’s voice. “Oh, Andrew,” I said. “When are you planning to come back?”

  “As soon as I can, Aggie, but what is this I hear about Bigfoot sightings?”

  I then explained to him about Billy Matlin hiring El and me, leaving out the part about how we had just planted evidence.

  “It sounds like you have your hands full this time, Aggie, but please be careful. I’d hate for something bad to happen to you before our nuptials.” He quickly added, “Or to Eleanor.”

  I nodded as we said our goodbyes. I sighed as I said, “I sure wish Andrew could be here now.”

  Eleanor’s brow shot up. “Are you sure? He’s never been all that enthused about our investigating crimes.”

  “I know, but this case is different. We’ve never handled a Bigfoot case before.”

  “True.”

  I downed the remainder of my coffee. “I think more than enough time has gone by. I probably should call the Special Agent from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service now.”

  Eleanor finished her coffee, and then said, “Oh, why not, but how can you be so sure that he’ll come right away? He might have gone back to Alpena for all we know.”

  “I guess we won’t know unless we make the call, now will we?”

  Eleanor shrugged as I made the call. Special Agent Dillard answered right away and agreed to meet us within the hour at the Matlin place.