A look of pure relief swept across his face before he hid it. “I don’t want you agreeing out of guilt,” he said, still serious but with a noticeably more relaxed tone. “If we start this we’re wiping the slate clean, starting fresh. We won’t hold any of our past mistakes against each other.” He reached for her other hand across the table. “That’s the whole point. I want to move forward and break the habits of the past. I know it’s a big decision to make this kind of change in our lifestyle, but after talking to Bobby and doing my own reading I really think this can work for us.” He paused again. “But only if we’re completely honest and open with each other.” He stared directly into her eyes and put so much feeling into his words that Connie felt tears swimming in hers. “We both need to communicate and not bottle things up or avoid problems, and by starting DD we’ll be accountable to each other. I won’t ever expect something from you that I’m not willing to give.”
The tears broke free before she could stop them. He loved her so much that he was willing to step up and take over their relationship while promising to open up to her at the same time. He at least deserved the same from her.
“I love you too, Nate, and I promise to really think about this and be honest with you about how I feel. I’m not going to agree to DD to make you happy then change my mind in a month because I know that will be the end for us.” She made it a statement, like she was sure, but watched him for any sign that it wasn’t. Her heart sank a bit when he nodded his head in agreement without any hesitancy. Yep. This was it. This was his last ditch effort to save their relationship.
Indignation rose at the idea of being forced into domestic discipline but she bit it back. Nate wasn’t forcing her into it. Sure he was forcing her to make a choice but he was also giving her time to think about it and talk to him before deciding. Sure it was an ultimatum but one given out of love, and she couldn’t blame him in the least. She’d been just as miserable as he was, and he was basically giving her an out, a way to walk away without a lot of ugly fighting. She could just say no to his proposal and that would be it. None of their family and friends would ever need to know. Everyone would just assume they’d had the final argument and split up. No one would even be surprised.
“I know what’s at stake and I know a little about DD from school, but we’re going to have a lot to discuss. I can tell you right now I’m not going to completely submit and let you run every aspect of my life,” she warned him.
“No,” he said, shaking his head vehemently, “I would never want that. I love you for you, I don’t want a doormat. I just want some accountability for your actions.” He hesitated, as if certain whether to continue.
“Go on,” she encouraged. “I’ll still do my research but I’d like to hear what your ideas are first so I can think about them while I read.” Better to know in advance so she could see how other people handled similar expectations.
“Okay. I wasn’t really prepared to do this right now but I guess that makes sense.” He stumbled a bit over his words, which made Connie smile, but he regained control quickly. She suddenly realized how scary this had to be for him, sitting down and making this proposition out of the blue. It was so unlike him and showed Connie just how much he wanted to have this kind of relationship, and how much he cared for her.
“I was thinking that we’d have some rules and that there’d only be discipline if a rule was broken. But I don’t think we want the rules to be super specific so you’re in a position where you’re scheming to get around them.” That suggestions raised her hackles and Connie opened her mouth to speak, but Nate gave her a look that made her think twice. It was a look she hadn’t seen before from him and it made her stop in her tracks, the smart retort dying before the words were uttered. He looked forceful and domineering and it was more effective than anything he could have said. With that one look he challenged her to disagree with his statement, and now that it had sunk in she really couldn’t. She probably would pull some childish baloney to get around any rules she didn’t feel like following.
He hadn’t spoken again, was waiting to see what she’d say, to see if she’d challenge him. She didn’t. “I could see how that might happen,” she conceded.
He nodded but didn’t comment on her backing down. “So I thought we’d do more general principles that need to be followed. Honesty, responsibility and respect.”
“Honesty, responsibility and respect,” she repeated. That didn’t sound so bad. She’d half expected a laundry list of do’s and don’ts but this seemed easier.
“So I’d expect you to always be honest with me and discuss things with me instead of hiding them. “ Connie winced at that, but again, couldn’t argue. It was embarrassing to listen to her faults being laid out but it was necessary, and all truth.
“I’d expect you to take care of the things that we agreed were your responsibility. And I don’t mean we’d pile chores and shit on you, just that you have to get your stuff done and not leave it sitting for days.”
“What if something comes up and I can’t finish, like I’m working on a final paper?” She asked, not liking the idea she couldn’t control her own schedule.
Nate stopped and thought about his response before answering. “I think part of being responsible is being aware of what you need to do and making sure you budget your time, but if there was an unexpected issue that came up, like you had to work late or your school work took a lot longer than you expected than I think that’s okay. Look, I don’t want a twelve-year-old and I’m not going to treat you like one. I expect you to take care of your shit in a reasonable manner and it will only be when you don’t, when you just don’t do anything, that it will be an issue between us. Does that make sense?”
“Yes it does,” she replied. Connie didn’t like how this conversation was making her feel, but that was one more reason DD was probably a good idea. She’d been neglecting her responsibilities, using every excuse in the book to justify why she couldn’t do her half of the work around the house. She hadn’t been pulling her weight, and listening to Nate list his very reasonable expectations made it crystal clear. What the hell was wrong with her?
The tears fell freely now, fueled by her guilt but Nate kept going.“And I’d expect respect from you. Not some boot licking, ass-kissing, bow and serve kind of respect, but common courtesy. Like if you say you’re going to do something for me, you do it. Don’t leave me hanging. And don’t be rude or mean to me, or ignore or walk away when I’m trying to talk to you.”
The knife buried in her gut twisted and shame mixed with the horrible guilt she already felt as she remembered just how terrible she’d treated Nate. A sob escaped before she could catch it. How could she have been so awful to this man who loved her so much? Her old justification that he worked too much and never spent time with her sounded like the pitiful excuse that it was. He’d started working overtime to save money for them, for their wedding and so she could work less and focus on school. Connie felt like the most selfish bitch in the world and wished the floor would just open up and swallow her whole.
Instead Nate suddenly appeared on his knees next to her and turned her chair so she faced him.
“Stop Connie,” he said, holding her face gently between his hands and forcing her to look at him. “I’m not trying to make you cry but in order to make this work we have to be honest about what the problems were so we can fix them. Right?”
Connie nodded and tried to focus on his strong face through her watery eyes. He didn’t appear to hate her for the way she’d acted. No, he looked at her with love, and that newfound dominance. Even though this was hurting, this talk they were having, she knew he had to continue and get it all out, and she agreed. They needed to bare it all, all the hurt feelings and nastiness, before they could start fresh.
Nate embraced her and pushed her head down gently so it rested on his shoulder apparently unconcerned about the tears and snot running down her face.
“Can I have a napkin please?” she asked aft
er taking a few minutes to calm down and enjoy the feel of his arms around her. She didn’t want to lean forward to get one because that would take her out of his hold.
He gave her a squeeze and plucked a napkin out of the holder on the table. “Here you go.” He handed it to her then rubbed her shoulders soothingly. “I hate seeing you cry but we have to do this. It’s the only way to make it better. We need to deal with everything now.”
Connie took a deep breath and felt some of her guilt leave her with her exhale. It would be good to talk through this, even if she decided not to go forward with the DD thing. At least if they ended up splitting up they wouldn’t hate each other, wouldn’t hold on to the built up anger and resentment.
“Can we go into the living room to finish talking?” she asked.
He smiled and looked so happy that it reinforced her desire to push on and keep purging. She gave him a smile despite being in tears only a few minutes before.
“That sounds like a great idea.” He pulled her up and led her from the room to the couch, then pulled her down into his lap when he sat.
“Now I want you tell me what’s been bothering you, what changes you need from me.” The question surprised her and she tensed up, but the slow circles he was making on her back with his warm hand relaxed her and allowed her to think about the question instead of instantly denying anything needed to change like she would have done only yesterday.
“I think it began when you started working extra shifts. You were never home and all the fun things we used to do just disappeared. When you weren’t working you were too tired to spend any time together.” She glanced up to peek at his face and see his reaction. He didn’t look angry, not even a little. He looked sad, like he felt bad for making her feel that way, but there was still that dominant edge that let her know he was still in control of this conversation. It also threatened to make her toes curl for some reason that she wasn’t ready to explore right this second. “Then you, and everyone else, started pushing for us to set a date for the wedding, but I felt like you were never here and I got…” she trailed off as her forced self examination revealed emotions she hadn’t seen before.
When she failed to continue after a few moments Nate gently prompted her, “You got what baby?”
Connie roused from her thoughts and quietly admitted, “I got scared.” Underneath all the anger and bad behavior she realized fear had been the driving force. Fear of what a marriage would be like with him never home. Fear of being stuck with a man that worked too much and never had time for her. Fear of becoming bitter and miserable like many of the couples she’d seen in her internships.
“Oh babe, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I started working all those hours to save money for the wedding, so you could have the wedding of your dreams. But once the other guys at work saw I wanted more hours they started calling me any time they wanted to take a half day or leave early.” Nate held her tighter in his lap and let out a deep sigh. “Now I realize it’s more important to spend time with the person you love and want to marry than it is to spend a bunch of money on one day. You’re more important than any amount of money.”
“It’s okay,” Connie said softly though she was grateful he’d admitted he was in the wrong too.
“No it’s not, but we’re going to change all that. I’m going to tell the guys I can’t take their shifts anymore and we’re going to start doing things together again,” he promised. “That is if you want to try and work things out.”
He meant if she agreed to domestic discipline, but strangely she still didn’t feel pressured or forced to decide. He’d have to make changes too, make more of an effort to spend time with her and pay more attention to her. If she had to agree to be nicer to him and pull her own weight…well that really wasn’t much to ask. Sure there would be the threat of discipline but if she just did what she needed to do and was honest and respectful there would be no need for discipline. Nate wasn’t asking for more than she expected from him. She’d just let him down so much that he felt like he needed a way to keep her on track. Sounded reasonable.
They sat for a few minutes in silence, him noticeably tense underneath her, which confused Connie until she thought back to the last thing he said and realized he was waiting for her to respond. Hadn’t she already told him she’d do the research? Maybe he just needed some reassurance.
She reached up and twined her arms around his neck. “I’ll go on the Internet and look at the sites you told me about and think about it.” His whole body relaxed at her words and looked down at her with love, and relief, shining in his eyes.
“I love you so much Connie. Thank you.” Then he kissed her softly, gently, in a way he hadn’t kissed her in months. The kiss made her nipples harden and clit throb. They hadn’t had sex in at least a week, and even then it was a quick coupling, both trying to achieve climax as fast as possible. This soft slow kiss, that was morphing into an urgent tangling of need, promised something much more fulfilling.
She pressed into him, thrusting her tongue into his mouth then pulled back sucking on it until she reached his lower lip and nibbled there.
Nate grabbed her hips and pulled her upright so her legs were straddling his lap, making her pussy rub against his hardened length. He was ramrod stiff, obviously wanting this as much as she did. Was it the release of pent up emotions that had aroused them both to a fever pitch? Or the idea of what disciplining her might entail? Because try as she might she couldn’t help images of her naked body draped over his lap while he delivered loud smacks to her backside from flitting through her brain. He used to occasionally incorporate a few smacks here or there into their sex life, usually when he was pumping into her from behind. But he’d never dominated her, never put her over his knees and punished her, and the idea excited her beyond belief.
Maybe this is what she’d been craving all along and hadn’t known it. A strong, take-charge man who wouldn’t take shit from her - one who respected her and loved her, and cared about her enough that he wouldn’t let her act like an asshole and shirk her responsibilities.
As tantalizing scenes danced through her brain Nate kept busy, divesting them of their shirts, breaking the kiss only long enough to pull both their heads free. Then his big, strong hands each cupped a breast and pinched her hardened buds between his thumb and forefinger.
Connie let out a gasp as pleasure zinged from her nipples to her clit making her grind against his cock wantonly. She needed to get closer to him, needed to have his shaft pounding into her. She stood up, lips still locked together, and swept her yoga pants and thong down to her ankles in one movement. Then she reached down and tugged his pajama bottoms, urging him to lift up so she could pull them off and reveal the prize underneath. He obliged without a pause and she left his pants bunched at his knees, not wanting to break the heat of their kiss for even a second.
Finally she could climb back on him without any barriers. Her pussy dripped, an obvious sign of welcome, and as soon as his manhood came in contact with her wet heat he hardened even more. Oh god, she needed him inside her now! His hands found her breasts again, pulling and kneading and pinching, making her cry out from the pleasure. He managed to distract her from her goal, but the pulse in her core caused by the simultaneous twist of both nipples made her writhe on his lap until the tip of him breached her entrance. They both stilled at the contact and pulled back.
Nate’s lips shone red and slick from her kisses and they both panted, trying to draw air into their starved lungs. His fingers tightened on her hips when she started to move in slow circles, easing him into her. Around and around, each pass nudging him further into her wet sheath, until finally she slid all the way down and they both let out a deep groan. It felt so good, so full, but yet wasn’t enough. Connie started moving, leaning forward slightly so her clit rubbed against the trimmed patch of hair at the base of his cock, giving her a delicious friction with every rock of her hips.
She kept him deep inside her, clenching her inner mus
cles and driving her pelvis forward, ensuring his cock hit her sweet spot with every thrust. She lost herself to the pleasure of fucking him, moving faster and harder as his moans escalated and his fingers tightened their hold.
Connie couldn’t lose this, this crazy animal joining that stripped both down to their bare selves without saying a word.
“Baby!” Nate ground out, “Baby you need to come! I can’t last much longer in this tight pussy.”
Connie felt his muscles tense in preparation as he fought to hold off a little longer and let her reach the summit. But he didn’t need to hold off, she was already there.
“It’s okay baby, I’m going to come all over that hard cock.” She panted and thrust forward harder, faster, until she felt his control give out at her naughty words as she knew it would. He clutched her tighter, stilling her so he could surge upward frantically as he came. His forceful pounding triggered her own release and her pussy throbbed in time to his hot spurts she felt deep inside. Pleasure spread throughout her body and she let out a yell seconds before slumping against his damp chest in a pile of bliss.
“Oh Connie, that was so good.” His chest rumbled against her ear and his hands ran light trails up and down her back.
“Yeah,” was all the response she could muster in her satiated state. But it was enough. She didn’t need to say the words; she knew he knew how she felt.
Chapter 4
Nate couldn’t believe how well the morning had gone. He’d barely slept last night, going over and over what he wanted to say and how to say it. After Bobby explained DD to him and Nate did his research he knew this was just what he and Connie’s relationship needed, but he had no idea how she’d react.
She’d surprised him. Not only did she not go running away screaming about him wanting to abuse her but she’d actually agreed to look into it further. And even seemed a little intrigued by the idea. If the explosive sex on the couch after their talk was any indication, the idea of being disciplined turned her on. And Nate had to admit imagining her draped across his lap while he reddened her backside made him harder than a rock.
Last Chance Page 4