“I’ve slept with her off and on for a few years. She just thought…I guess she thought that nothing had changed. She tried to…you know.”
He looked up at me with worry in his eyes. It looked as if he worried I wouldn’t believe him. Or worried how I might react after hearing the harsh truth. That maybe he shouldn’t tell me the rest of the messy details. But I had to know so I nodded for him to go ahead and spit it out.
“She tried to undo my pants, I told her not to and I guess she got her lipstick on me. I didn’t even know. Lace, I told her I wasn’t interested. I shouldn’t have let it get that far…but I didn’t let her do what you’re thinking.”
“Did you think about it? About letting her?”
Pause.
“Yeah. I thought about it. But I didn’t do it.”
At least he wasn’t making excuses or trying to downplay what happened.
No lies.
No telling me what I wanted to hear.
It was so much like the Max I knew him to be that my heart clenched.
I was still hurt that he would even consider being with her when I was held up in my apartment eating candy by the pound and trying to distract myself from the fact that I hadn’t seen him in days. The fact that he snubbed me the moment his brother showed up.
He seemed apologetic but the rug had still been ripped from underneath my once stable feet. The façade of us just blissfully sleeping together without commitment or jealousy had dissipated. I know he can clearly see how much this was affecting me.
It was affecting him just as strongly though and that brought with it some hope that maybe things weren’t as bleak as they seemed.
“I’m glad you didn’t go through with it.” I admit. “I don’t think I could’ve handled that.”
A heavy breath releases from deep in his chest. “We need to talk.”
I nod. My stomach sinks back down to my toes, reaching a new low. It’s starting to feel like I’m on Space Mountain and I threw up all over the damn place the last time I visited Disney and rode that demonic ride.
“I just want to clear some things up.”
I nod again and swallow down painfully over the lump in my throat. Is this the part he tells me I’m too crazy to keep fooling around with? Or the part he tells me it’s none of my damn business what he does when I’m not around?
God, I hope not.
But my body tightens as I brace myself for the worst as if I’m watching an eighteen-wheeler about to crash into me head on. I briefly wonder if it would be best for him to crush my heart so I can move on and focus on myself. My emotions are still turbulent and chaotic. The highs and lows are too much to handle.
Better to cut me loose now than later.
Quietly I wait for his next words, staring down at my bare feet on the cold white tiles of my hallway. My lavender toenail paint is starting to chip on the edges and I make a mental note to repaint them soon.
Any color but red.
I really have no fondness for the color anymore after seeing it smeared over the front of his jeans from another woman’s lips. Even if I really do believe he didn’t pursue her. She got close to him and was able to get in his personal space. The personal space I felt belonged solely to me.
My heart stops beating and seizes in dreaded anticipation when he starts talking.
“As long as we’re together, Lacey Griffin, you’re the only one I’m with.”
My breath catches and my heart lurches back to life with warp speed. It’s almost pathetic. Just a moment ago I thought he was letting Red Lips blow him all night. Now I was sagging in relief that he wanted me and me alone.
This whole misunderstanding brought a lot of truths and feelings to the surface that needed to be addressed. I needed to hear that he wasn’t sleeping around even though the thought hadn’t even occurred to me until tonight.
“I’m sorry for being crazy. It’s just that we haven’t talked about it and I wanted to make sure. You don’t owe me a commitment but…I don’t like to share.”
“Good. I don’t want to be shared.” A smirk lifts the corner of his lips. I lift up on my toes to kiss him gently where the edge of his smile creases. “And I don’t want to share you either. Thinking about you with another guy makes me even crazier.”
Strong arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into his warmth. The gesture is more comforting than seductive and I enjoy the act of affection without complaint. When his lips press tenderly to my forehead I melt into him.
“You’re the only one I want, Lace.” He tightens his arms around and presses another kiss to my temple.
“Prove it.”
“How?”
“Show me how much you want me. Make love to me.”
His breath catches at my choice of words. He kisses me with a smile dancing on his lips. It’s a delicate kiss, full of energy that’s held back tightly and channeled through our heated connection.
He goes on to give me exactly what I asked for, making love to me with the mounting passion only time apart could make possible. When he explodes inside me in ecstasy he plants another soft kiss to my forehead and we savor the moment together.
Chapter 18
Max
Coughing echoes through my living room and down the hall to my bedroom where I’m trying desperately to get some sleep. It’s late. Just when I find myself drifting to sleep another bough of coughing starts up again from my couch.
I’m roused awake.
“Are you ok?” I shout through the closed door. If I can hear Chris coughing his head off surely he can hear me yelling.
“Yeah.” He yells back, choking out another cough.
“Good. Now shut the hell up and go to bed.”
Silence finally fills the apartment, blessedly allowing me to get some sleep. It feels like I’m not asleep longer than a few hours when my alarm starts blaring. It’s urging me up for my morning run. I smack at my phone blindly trying to turn the shrieking alarm off before I’m not able to get back to sleep.
My morning run can wait a day given the shitty night I had.
Chris has been staying with me a week now. It hasn’t all been bad. In fact I almost enjoyed having my brother around again after living alone for the past two years. But he was unrefined and it had been a bit of a struggle to get him on a decent schedule.
It was like bringing home a newborn baby that had his days and nights mixed up. I had spent the past week trying to teach Chris we weren’t staying up all night and sleeping all day. It had been exhausting. Was this what new parents felt like?
In my case I hit fast forward straight to the teen years. I had to give my big brother a curfew because I’ll be damned if he thinks he can just parade in and out of this apartment at all hours of the day and night like it’s a free motel.
I sound like a father. Not our father but a normal one. The kind you see on TV or in movies that try to establish some respectable rules for his unruly kids. It had always been a foreign concept to me but here I was parenting the fuck out of my older brother like I actually knew what I was doing.
In addition to helping Chris grow up I found myself trying to keep Lacey away from him. I still didn’t trust him in that arena and respecting her was probably too much to ask of him. Our sleepovers had dropped down to a couple nights a week at her house and one tops at mine.
I didn’t quite trust Chris being alone at the apartment any more than I trusted him being around Lacey. He was liable to have a party while I was gone and I would return to find him dead on my couch with a needle in his arm.
Or worse, Natalie naked on the couch when I open the front door since she mentioned talking to Chris well after he disappeared from Dad’s radar. The two must talk more than I realized.
My alarm goes off again blaring like a siren. I thought I turned the damn thing off but I guess I just hit snooze.
“Shut up, would ya? I’m trying to fucking sleep!” Chris croaks out loudly from the couch.
I sigh and struggle to find the
button that will turn the noise off for good through bleary eyes. Fuck me. I’m wide awake by the time I get the phone on silent.
“Finally.” Chris calls out in annoyance.
Maybe if he hadn’t kept us both up all night coughing nonstop from his blackened lungs he wouldn’t be so pissy.
I decide to get up as my alarm intended and pull on some basketball shorts and a rumpled t-shirt. As I lace my running shoes while sitting on the side of my bed I do something I’m sure to regret.
“You want to come running with me?”
“Fuck no.”
“Oh come on. It’ll be good for you. There’s no way you’re getting back to sleep anyway.”
“Speak for yourself. I can always get back to sleep.”
I roll my eyes and head out of the bedroom. “Just get up and get dressed. It’s only a mile to the donut shop. We can get some breakfast. Neither one of us cooks so it’s the only chance you have to eat anything more than a banana this morning.”
He groans at my reasoning and pushes up to a sitting position on the couch. I know I have him. “God I hate you sometimes.”
“Rise and shine.”
“Fuck. Why don’t you have that girl come over again? She was a bad ass cook.”
“She’s busy.” I lie. “Besides I go for a run every morning. It’s good for you.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“I’m leaving in five minutes. Be ready.”
I pour myself a glass of orange juice while I wait for him to get up. He stomps around the living room, sighing and making sure I know he isn’t happy with the arrangement but I also know my brother. There’s no way he would turn down food.
✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧
“God. Damn. You.” Cough. “Stop.”
Chris gasps for air and clutches at his side halfway to the donut shop. He’s out of shape. I know this. But the sound of his constant coughing and wheezing has me mildly concerned.
“Maybe you should go to a doctor.”
“I don’t need to see a doctor. I need a-” Cough. “normal fucking brother that has breakfast at home.”
“Lay off the cigarettes and weed man. It’s tearing up your lungs.”
“Stop being a nerd and a-” Cough. “-loser all of sudden.” Hacking. “You’ve smoked plenty with me.”
“Yeah. I have.” I admit. “And then I decided to stop because I like to breath.”
His breathing slowly evens and the coughing ceases. “Just go on without me. Leave me to die here on this person’s lawn.”
I let out a laugh and pat him on the back. He just needs to get healthier. This experience is a testament of that. “Come on. There’s bacon, egg and cheese burritos there. Or glazed donuts, take your pick.”
A healthy diet could wait.
“Ok.” He visibly pulls himself together, forcing himself to his full height while keeping his arm clutching his side.
We carry on with our jog but I slow considerably so he doesn’t pass out. I may be in better shape than he is at the moment but I doubt I can carry his dead weight back home. And I have my heart set on breakfast burritos this morning.
We finally make it to the donut shop. The lights from the Donny’s Donuts sign are a beacon to us across the parking lot.
“We made it.” Chris heaves. He sounds like he just ran a 5K. “Thank fuck.”
“They have great food to refuel for the run back.”
He shoots me a death glare and pulls the door open. “Next time we’re driving. I mean it Max.”
“I run every morning. I don’t always come here but I always run.”
“Fine. You run. I’ll drive and we can meet up here.”
I laugh as he turns away from me to order two burritos, a donut and a large coffee. I order my usual: a bacon, egg and cheese burrito and bottled water for the jog home. We find a seat with two chairs close to the window and quietly eat our food.
I worked up a good sweat on our jog and the burrito gives me the recharge I need to get back. Chris downs his coffee for the same effect.
Silence stretches as we enjoy the relaxing break from our run and each other’s company. It’s been a long time since I was around my brother without the bullshit that always seems to accompany him. It’s pretty nice.
He breaks the peaceful silence when he finishes his two burritos, claiming he’s saving the donut for the run back.
“How was it with Dad the other night? Did he mention me?”
“Yeah. He asked if I’ve seen you.”
“What did you say?” He sounds worried and irritation hovers above me, threatening to crash down. So much for a peaceful morning of normal brotherly bonding.
“What do you think I said? I told him I haven’t seen you.”
He sags in relief against the back of his chair and lets out a sharp breath he was holding. “Thanks. I know he’s hard to lie to.”
I shrug. Can’t argue with him on that. “Between him and Natalie I was ready to get the fuck out of there.”
He thinks I’m blowing smoke about wanting to get away from her. I can tell by the expression on his face. But when he looks up and sees the expression on mine he knows I mean it. “I’m confused. What did Natalie do?”
“Just her usual shit. Trying to blow me as soon as I walk in the door.”
“She likes you bro.”
“Likes fucking me maybe.”
“Ok…” He looks deep in thought trying to uncover what the hell is wrong with me and when I stopped liking it because god knows I used to. “I don’t see the problem.”
“She fucks everybody. Literally everybody. Including you.”
“I still don’t see the problem. And she hasn’t fucked me. Just FYI.”
I get irritated at having to explain this and busy myself with throwing away our trash. “Well maybe I want something different. You know what? Never mind. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Different, huh? You prefer blonds now?”
He’s goading me about Lacey and I give him a look. He follows me outside and the conversation dies off as we start our run back to my apartment in silence. I reflect over what he said.
I hate to admit it but I can’t really be mad at his assessment. I did enjoy Natalie plenty of times in the past. She never failed to get me off.
Up until recently my view on sex was exactly like his. It had just been an activity to pass time. A very enjoyable activity. But not something I put a hell of a lot of feelings or thought into.
Things were different now.
The first thing I did when we walked back through my door, after collapsing on the couch, was pull out my phone.
Max: Morning angel.
Lacey: Good morning.
Lacey: What are you doing awake so early? The sun barely came up.
Max: Running.
Max: Want to stay the night with me?
Lacey: Is this a booty call?
Max: No.
Max: Maybe.
Max: Ok. Yes.
Lacey: *laughing emoji* I’ll be there at 8.
By the time Lacey gets to my apartment I have the car loaded. There’s no way we can stay here with Chris lingering around for the evening. I let him know he has the place to himself tonight and warn him to behave.
That’s the best I can do.
I’ve been craving her something fierce and having my brother within earshot just wasn’t going to cut it tonight. I wanted her all to myself. I plan to make her scream my name and we need a little privacy for that.
“Get in the car, angel. I packed you a bag.”
“Where are we going?”
“You like camping?” Probably should’ve asked that before I bought a tent and sleeping bag from the sporting goods store today and loaded up the trunk.
“I’ve never been.”
“Me either. But if the only way I can get you alone tonight is by sleeping out in the woods I’ll do it.”
She throws her head back and laughs. “We could go to my apartment y
ou know.”
“I don’t want the neighbors listening to what I have planned for you. You know how thin those walls are.”
Her expression grows hotter as she thinks of the possibilities and climbs in the car. I head toward the freeway that leads out of town. The camp site I found is about forty-five minutes from here. Just far enough away that we can escape the city traffic and crowds. I grab her hand and entwine our fingers, caressing over her thumb throughout the drive.
Our hands rest between us and this time neither of us reaches for the radio. We allow the silence to peacefully encompass us. I crack both front windows and her hair dances in the breeze. Trees pass more frequently the closer we get to our destination. Street lights no longer line our path when I pull off the highway and follow the GPS down a more rural road.
Just as I begin to wonder if we’re being led the wrong way I see the sign.
Burton State Park.
I drive down the winding road and pass several small parking areas. My patience is rewarded when I come across an empty dirt lot.
We’re surrounded by darkness when I park so I leave the headlights on for the time being. I grab the tent from the trunk as she stretches her legs and pulls her hair up in a messy ponytail that manages to make her even sexier in an unintentional way.
“I hope you know how to pitch a tent.”
“Oh I’m pitching a tent.” I smirk, gesturing down at the tent in my jeans.
A light hearted laugh escapes her lips and she shakes her head at the cheesy joke. “Come on, Max.”
She grabs the rolled sleeping bag from the trunk and closes it. I pull the keys from the ignition and pocket them before heading off down a small path deeper into the woods. Lacey follows quickly, her footsteps light and almost undetectable behind me.
The stars twinkle in the inky black sky, free from the city lights that outshine them back home.
How had I never been here before? I never even knew this place existed. It was hidden away off the beaten path yet so close to home. My mind feels clear out here and my body is liberated of the stress that always weighs so heavily on my shoulders.
When we reach a clearing in the brush wide enough to fit a tent we stop. She holds the flashlight for me as I pull out the rods. Metal clanks together as I search for a starting point, an instruction manual, anything that might help steer me in the right direction. I’ve never camped in my life and I sure as hell never assembled a tent.
Sparks Fly (Davis Brothers Book 1) Page 13