They were things she’d seen her own father demand from her mother. He had been a rake, too. And like Dominic, had been forced into a marriage not of his own choosing. When her mother’s love suited him, he used it to get what pleased him. He didn’t care about the damage he caused fragile Elsie Fleming when he took his mistresses out in public or disappeared to carouse for days on end. He didn’t care that his only daughter had been the one to comfort her mother when he disappointed her over and over.
The lies and fighting and pain had grown and festered until it culminated in that horrible night nearly eight years ago. Katherine still remembered her mother’s scream. The blood. Her own wail as it echoed in the dark night. And the long walk through the dark that seemed never ending.
“Kat?”
As the door flew open and Dominic took three steps inside, she sat bolt upright. She wasn’t in the past. She could force herself not to relive all that heartache with this man, a man whose interest in her would surely fade in time, whether or not he admitted it now.
“My God, I should keep you in bed all the time. You look magnificent,” he said as he quietly shut the door behind him and stalked toward her with purpose in his stare.
With a glance down, Katherine realized she hadn’t pulled the sheet up. Dominic raked his gaze over her half-exposed body in a long, hot motion. Despite herself, she shivered with anticipation before she dragged the sheet up as a protective barrier around her.
“You should have woken me,” she stammered as she stood up and backed away from his approaching form.
He paused with a frown. “You were exhausted.” His expression turned to a wicked smile. “You earned a long rest after last night.”
Though it took every ounce of strength in her body, she managed to keep her tone icy. “Yes, well, the sooner we get to Lansing Square, the better. If you’ll excuse me, I shall ring for my maid and begin getting ready.”
“We could stay here another night,” he said softly as he reached out to glide his fingertips down the length of her bare arm. Sparks of awareness crackled in the wake of his touch, and the urge to shut her eyes and sway toward him was almost overpowering. Almost.
“No,” she said, a bit louder than she intended her voice to be. “No. I think we should just move on. Please, let me get ready.”
His brow furrowed. “I’ll help you.”
Her mind flitted to the image of him taking her hair down the night before. His touch had been so sensuous and gentle it had softened her to him. She couldn’t let that happen again. Especially since she guessed once he got the sheet off of her, he would pull her into the bed and they would be back where they started.
A temptation she had no choice but to resist.
“No, thank you.” She pulled her arm away and paced to the low fire. Staring into the flames, she did her best to keep her thoughts on what she had to do, not her husband’s touch or taste. “I would rather just ready myself.”
When he was silent, she allowed herself a peek over her shoulder. His eyes had turned from light gray to stormy seas, and his frown set his jaw in a way that left no doubt he was both annoyed and frustrated by her resistance.
Guilt stabbed through her. Guilt she tried to deny.
“I’ll send your maid up right away. If we leave within the hour, we can reach Lansing Square by nightfall.”
He turned on his heel and walked out the door, closing it behind him with little gentleness. After he was gone, she took two steps in his direction. All she wanted to do was follow and call him back. To ask him to help her ease the ache that had as much to do with her heart as her body.
Of course, doing that would only make her more vulnerable to him. Doing that was entirely out of the question.
Chapter 7
T rying to pretend an uncomfortable silence was an amiable one was a feat worthy of Hercules. Katherine was far from the mythical god. In fact, it took all her strength not to burst into inane conversation just to avoid the heated, quiet stare Dominic had fixed on her for the past quarter of an hour.
Instead, she bit her lip and turned the page of the old copy of the Morning Chronicle she held in her lap. The fact that she’d already read this particular edition four days prior made feigning interest all the more difficult. Still, she had little choice since her husband had already caught her in a lie about her novel, so there was no use pretending to read that.
With a sigh, she glanced up. To her relief, Dominic was looking out the carriage window. It was her first moment of freedom since they left the inn hours before.
He had attempted conversation for a while, and she had to admit, avoiding that was a difficult prospect. Dominic Mallory was much more than a darkly handsome man. He had knowledge of history and literature, as well as a cunning wit that made it difficult to pretend she didn’t care for his company. Under any other circumstances, she would have called him a delightful traveling companion.
Instead she called him husband, and that changed everything. His comments were often punctuated by a light, yet seductive touch or a suggestive word that made her heart pound with the promise of pleasure she remembered all too well. He knew it, too. His smile grew each time her body lurched with reaction to his closeness. Each time she remembered his arms around her the night before.
No manner of distraction changed the fact that she’d wanted him then. If she allowed herself to admit it, gazing at him across the carriage as he examined the passing winter scenes, she wanted him now.
“Finished with your paper?”
His soft voice cut the space between them. She jolted at his words. Clearly, he was aware of her scrutiny even though he seemed distracted.
“Yes,” she said before she stopped to think. Damn, now she had no excuse not to talk to him. “Would you like a glance at it?”
Gray eyes moved over to capture hers. “No, I read that particular issue a few days ago. Right before I gave it to you at breakfast that same morning.”
The color that warmed her cheeks bled away. Did nothing get past this man? He seemed to remember every detail, every moment that could be used against her in the future. It was something to keep in mind as she navigated the volatile waters of their new marriage.
“Did you?” she asked when she found her voice.
“Yes.”
“I must have forgotten.”
To her surprise, he didn’t press, but turned away to return his focus to the outside world. After a few moments he seemed to have forgotten her entirely. It seemed the closer they got to their destination, the more distracted he became. When he spoke, it was obvious it was with effort, and the sensual undercurrents that had been a constant between them faded, if only a fraction.
With a frown, she folded her paper and set it on the seat beside her. The entire day, her husband had pursued conversation with her like a setter on a scent. Now he barely acknowledged her existence. Why?
And why did she care? This was exactly the respite she needed. Still, now that she was being ignored, it was far less pleasant than she guessed it would be.
“Dominic?” she ventured softly, leaning forward.
For a moment, he didn’t answer. Then he shook his head like he’d been in a dream and said, “Yes?”
“How much longer?” she asked, not necessarily because she cared, but just to say anything.
“Not much farther, I’d wager,” he said, but he hardly looked her way.
She frowned. What happened to the teasing, sensuous man who had married her?
“Why don’t you tell me about this place…Lansing Square is it?”
Instead of dragging him from his current state, her question seemed to darken his mood. His mouth turned down sharply. “Yes, Lansing Square.”
For a long moment she waited for him to elaborate, but he said nothing. “Well? What else can you tell me aside from the name?”
He finally looked her in the eyes and some of his focus seemed to return. He even managed a small smile, just a ghost of his usual cocky smirk,
still it struck a chord deep within her. One that left her wanting to comfort him, despite her vows to avoid that kind of closeness.
“There isn’t much to say.” He accentuated the statement with a shrug. “I would guess Lansing Square is much like any other estate in the country. I know it’s large and has brought in a modest income over the past few seasons.”
She wrinkled her brow. “You act as if you’ve never seen the place before.”
“It’s new to my holdings,” he said.
He shifted as if the subject made him uncomfortable, though she had no idea why he wouldn’t want to talk to her about the home she would live in, at least some of the time. Unless…unless there was something about the home he didn’t want her to know. Perhaps he kept a mistress there in the past, or intended to in the future.
Bitterness tainted her mouth before she shook off her jealous reaction with a scowl. These were exactly the emotions she wanted to avoid.
He cleared his throat. “Katherine, I think you and I should talk about our marriage.”
She started as her heart lodged itself in her throat. There was something ominous about his tone, especially given her thoughts.
“Now?” she croaked.
He nodded. “We should have discussed it before we wed. Certainly before last night, but circumstances intervened and I never found the right time. It is my fault and I apologize.”
She tilted her head as confusion and anxiety flooded her. What could he want to say to her that should have been said before they made love?
He continued, “Our marriage was not one either of us chose.”
She winced, though he said nothing that wasn’t true. She had no call to be stung by his directness.
“No,” she admitted softly.
“But that doesn’t mean it cannot be successful. It is a matter of reasonable expectations. Most marriages turn…ugly when one party feels trapped or disappointed.”
Katherine nodded as she fought to keep her expression bland. Dominic was only voicing her own fears and expectations of the future, but somehow hearing him outline their marriage in such cool terms was like a dagger.
“If we are to avoid those complications, I think we ought to be clear about our desires now, so there will be no surprises.”
She cleared her throat. “Very well.”
“In London, I have a certain kind of life.” He shifted again.
She folded her arms across her chest as an ineffective shield. This was not a surprise to her, but she somehow wanted to protect herself from it.
“You mean you have a mistress.”
He drew in a shocked breath that she would be so frank. “Not at present, but I won’t deny I have had them in the past.”
She frowned. “And you wish me to know you will find one again. I understand.”
She looked out the window to the gathering dark. The forlorn winter scene certainly reflected her emotions. It was one thing to guess your husband’s activities. It was quite another to have him tell you outright. Never mind that this distance he was putting between them was exactly what she claimed to desire.
Dominic shook his head. “No. As I told you last night, at present, I have no plans to take another woman to my bed.”
She glanced at him with unwanted hope lightening her heart. Hope she quickly quashed as she remembered how her own father had promised not to take a mistress only to appease her mother. Those promises had been broken. Again and again. She had no reason to believe Dominic’s wouldn’t be broken as well. A rake was a rake.
“You give me enormous pleasure, Katherine,” he said, his voice turning soft and seductive. When he touched her hand, she found she couldn’t pull away. “I am very happy to save all my desires and attentions for you.”
“At present,” she said with an arched brow. “But in the future, that might change.”
He tilted his head as if he didn’t understand. “I—I suppose so.”
“And then you would take a mistress.” When he didn’t answer, she shrugged. “May I take a lover, as well?”
His face changed instantly and he withdrew his hand. A hot flash of jealous anger darkened his eyes and hardened his jaw.
“You would want that?”
Actually, she couldn’t picture sharing her body with any man but the one across from her. But she couldn’t let him know that. To do so would be giving him all the power to wield over her. She turned away so he couldn’t read her emotions.
“It seems unfair for you to find pleasure with another woman while I sit at home alone,” she murmured.
The vein in his neck popped as if he was reining in powerful emotion. He clenched his hands into fists in his lap as he nodded slowly.
“A point well taken…I suppose. But not one we must explore now. I have no intention of leaving you unfulfilled for the foreseeable future.”
The anger and disappointment that rushed through Katherine surprised her with their intensity. On one hand, she was furious that her husband would bring up such a subject on the day after their wedding. That he would all but admit he was the cad she feared him to be.
But the other part of her had to respect his brutal honesty. At least this way she knew what to expect. And she could more easily keep her vow to lock her heart away from him.
Still, his admission about wanting her and only her, even if only for a short time, made her heart skip. It gave her a shameful thrill that seemed to override her other, more measured reactions.
“As you say, this is no love match,” she said with more difficulty than she wished. “We’re both aware of that. There is no reason why you should not continue your life as before. And I will find things to fill my time that do not require me to pine for my husband’s heart.”
He nodded, though he looked less than pleased at her swift agreement to his terms. He opened his mouth to speak just as the carriage began to slow. Dominic looked out the window and whatever he wanted to say was lost as his attention was reclaimed by the outside world.
The carriage stopped, but before the driver or footmen could climb down to offer assistance, Dominic wrenched open the door and stepped down into the snow. He blocked her own exit, so she simply watched him.
With a sigh, he looked up, obviously examining the house and main grounds, but from his expression she couldn’t tell if he was pleased with what he saw or not. She waited for a few moments, then slid closer to the carriage entryway and cleared her throat.
He jumped as if he had forgotten her presence, then turned to her with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, Katherine.” He motioned for the step to be set outside the door, then offered her a hand to help her down.
The storm had passed and a brisk breeze blew the clouds back until a full, bright moon reflected pale light from the snowy drifts. For a moment, her eyes adjusted to the darkness, then she looked up.
The house was large, as large as any country estate she’d seen, but it was rundown from what were obviously years of neglect. A few of the upper windows had been boarded shut, the stone was chipped and discolored, and the paint was peeling in some places. Though the house had obviously once been a showplace, it wasn’t anymore.
Still, it had enormous potential. The windows were large, and many would get beautiful direct sunlight for a considerable portion of the day. The gilding and design details on the house were lovely, and would easily shine again with little work.
“Well,” he asked, and there was an endearing nervousness to his tone, “what do you think?”
She smiled. “It’s different than I thought it would be.”
“As I said in the carriage, it’s a new addition to my holdings.”
He shrugged as if he couldn’t care less, but she knew this estate had to be important. After all, why would he bring her here instead of going to London or to one of his other properties unless this place meant something to him?
“I can see why you acquired it.” She tilted her head to look up again. “It has lovely lines. It’s been neglected
, but it has potential.”
He ignored her statement. “It’s freezing out here. Let’s go inside.”
He held out an arm, and she hesitated before taking it. Touching him was a dangerous prospect. Why, just taking his hand to exit the carriage brought heat to her blood. When he pulled her up against his side to lead her wherever he wanted her to go, it sent a shockwave of awareness through her.
After their conversation a moment ago, it was clear she had to keep herself separate from him whenever possible. He did not intend to share anything deeper than his body with her, so she could not give him a part of her heart.
Not that she wanted to.
As they reached the top of the stairs, the door opened to reveal a butler. He had a gentle face, white hair, and the eyes of a man who wasn’t sure if this change of ownership would bode well or poorly for him.
“Good evening, sir,” he said as they came into the warm foyer. “You must be Mr. and Mrs. Mallory.”
Katherine’s eyes widened at this surprising introduction. From his phrasing, the butler made it clear he’d never even met Dominic before. She stared up at her husband. “This really is a new addition to your holdings.”
He smiled, but answered the butler. “Yes, I’m Dominic Mallory. And you must be Matthews.”
“Yes, sir.” He motioned for the footmen to take the bags and their coats and the men did it with swift efficiency. “We have been working hard to ready the estate for your arrival, sir, but it’s been difficult—”
Dominic waved off the man’s apologies. “Don’t give it another thought. Mrs. Mallory and I don’t plan to stay here at Lansing Square for long. I’m sure whatever accommodations you’ve made will be more than adequate.”
Matthews’ eyes grew more wary at the curt response. Katherine was surprised her husband would talk to the man that way. Obviously the staff was nervous about their new master and mistress. Only a few reassuring words could have eased their troubled minds and let them know the new couple had no intention of eliminating their positions. In fact, if she had her way, there would be more funds going into this estate for upkeep and renovation.
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