“You don’t, but that was a pretty good imitation!” I smiled, and she hesitated a moment. “I confess I’m a little surprised. I thought you’d be headed over to Phoenician I as soon as you got in town.”
My brow pulled together. “Whatever for?” I couldn’t imagine my mom thinking I’d visit Bill Kyser, no matter what had gone on before I left.
That’s when she stood up straight, arms crossed. “Because that’s where Julian is now. Only you didn’t know he was working there, did you?”
“Oh.” I relaxed my forehead and tried to play it off. “Right. I just wanted to freshen up a bit first.”
“When did it happen?”
“When did what happen?”
“Did you two break up or what?” Her eyes went to my hand where the little dragonfly ring still sat.
I lowered my mug and jumped down off the bar. “No! We just sort of put this year on hold or something. Because of how much work I had to do. And there was the time difference, and you know. International rates are so high and all.”
“No way.” Mom shook her head. “You honestly think I’m buying that after how you two were?”
My stomach tightened. I wasn’t ready to explore whatever was going on between Julian and me with my mom at this very moment, but at least I knew where he was. “It was something we decided last summer. You had to notice we weren’t together as much.”
“I noticed you leaving the house all the time. I assumed you were meeting up with him or surfing or whatever you two do.”
“Surfing.” That was as far as we needed to go on that topic.
Her voice grew quiet. “How does your job offer change things?”
The tone in her voice was like a stick poking all of the feelings I’d been pushing down for the past year. All of that pain, my shredded insides, came rushing to the front of my mind. A year of ignoring them and burying myself in work had done nothing to dampen the intensity of how badly his words had hurt me.
It didn’t matter. I wasn’t giving up on us, and whatever he was thinking, I wasn’t letting him give up either.
“I don’t know how it changes things. I guess I’ll have to see him and talk to him about it.”
She pulled me into a hug, smoothing her hand down the back of my hair. “I love you sweetie. Just remember, no matter what happens, the right thing will happen. Does that make sense?”
New Age philosophy wasn’t exactly my favorite thing at the moment. I knew what should happen. Julian and I had to figure out what went wrong and fix it.
So I shrugged. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll keep that in mind.”
* * *
I stared at my phone for five whole minutes before working up the nerve to text him. Then I composed ten different messages before finally settling on the one I liked.
Just got in. Hope to see you soon?
But before I actually hit send, I stared at the words. What if he still didn’t reply? Could I handle that again?
Thinking of Brandon somehow made me feel bolder, even if I wasn’t interested in him. Something in me turned his interest into validation—no matter how Julian was acting, I had somebody out there who thought I was worth having. My stomach hurt. He just wasn’t the one I wanted. Nobody was.
I picked up my phone again and was about to hit send when it rang in my hand. I jumped and nearly dropped it. Rachel.
I touched the face quickly. “Rachel—Hey!” I was so relieved for the momentary reprieve, I probably sounded too excited to hear her voice. “How was your year? How was the new roommate?”
“Horrible.” Rachel’s voice was completely flat.
My jangly nerves made me burst out laughing. “Oh, come on, she couldn’t have been that bad!”
“She was a filthy slob, and I almost kicked her out before the end of the year. I swear, some people have no home etiquette.” She exhaled in my ear. “You’re coming back next year, right?”
I hesitated. So much depended on what happened when I finally saw him again. “I-I’m not sure.”
“Anna! Why? What will you do?”
“I’ve kind of been offered a job over there.” Chewing my lip, I waited for her response.
Her voice was resigned. “Well, of course you have. You’re going to take it, I’m sure.”
“I’m not sure yet.”
That perked her up. “When will you know? Seriously. I’m at the point where I’m about to give up, shock the family, and just move in with Brad.”
“You’re practically doing that anyway.”
“Oh, man. You really have been in London too long. When are we going out? I want to hear all about it.”
“It’s Thursday. Want to meet up at the Hangout?”
“Wink is supposed to be playing at Tacky Jack’s. Want to go there instead?”
Sounded like things were changing here as well. “Sure! You know the cool stuff to do in town.”
“See you at eight.”
* * *
Even though the place was called Tacky Jack’s, I decided to wear one of the dresses I’d bought in London. It was thigh-length fuchsia knit with a racer-back top, and I loved how the flippy, girlie skirt made me feel like dancing.
I chose a pair of tan stack heels, and I styled my hair into a low, side ponytail. It had grown longer than I’d ever worn it before, and the curls spilled in a chestnut waterfall of spirals down my front. I smoothed on red lipstick and a little mascara then I added silver hoops and a cuff bracelet before grabbing my bag and heading out.
Dad called out from the couch before I went through the door. “Well, look at my Anna Banana!”
“Dad!” I groaned, stopping at the bar. Then I started to laugh and stepped over to where he lay on the couch watching some show. “I love you.” I kissed his nose and straightened up. “I’m just meeting up with Rachel at Tacky Jack’s. I won’t be too late.”
“Tacky Jack’s won’t know what hit ‘em when you get there.”
Shaking my head, I went through the door to my car, and in less than ten minutes, I was pulling into the gravel parking lot. Stepping out, I realized I had changed a little from the last time I went out in Dolphin Shores, but it was okay. Time meant change, and I was okay with some of it.
Walking inside, I was surprised by the size of the crowd. I’d never heard of the band Wink, but clearly they were local celebrities. It took me several minutes and two passes through the room before I found Rachel hanging at the bar with Brad.
“Anna!” She squealed jumping up and running to give me a hug. “Look at you! You’re so sophisticated. Very London.”
That made me laugh. “No, it’s just me. I did get a few cute dresses across the pond.”
“I can’t wait to see them, and I love your hair. Julian’s going to drop when he sees you.”
All of my insides seized at her words. “Julian?” My hands went shaky. I hadn’t expected doing our reunion without a little preparation.
“Brad called him. He’ll be up here in a little bit.” She had a sneaky glint in her eye, and I knew exactly what was going on.
“Rachel. What are you guys up to?”
“Just be cool, girlfriend, you are smokin’ hot tonight.” The music cranked up, and I couldn’t hear a thing.
Brad cut in at that point with his loud voice, giving me a rough hug. “Anna! You haven’t forgotten your old home town have you?”
“No way,” I shouted back. “One trip to the beach was all it took. I love it here.”
“Glad you’re home, girl.” He looked up behind me, and the change in his expression made my chest squeeze. I knew what was about to happen. “Jules!” He shouted. “Over here!”
For a second, I was afraid to turn around. Then I heard his voice, and my arms instinctively crossed over my stomach.
“Hey, man. I just came over from work.” They clapped hands, and I stole a glance over my shoulder. Blue eyes seared into mine, and for a second, I forgot how to breathe.
His voice grew softer. “Anna?”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I faced him, managing to smile. “Hi, Julian.”
His eyes quickly scanned my outfit before returning to my face. “You look… really good.”
“Thank you.” I took him in as well—dark slacks and a white oxford unbuttoned at the top, a blazer slung over his arm. He looked so much like his dad, all business. The only thing that was still him was the longish, inky brown hair. But even that was cut in a more adult fashion and styled back, behind his ears. “You look different—good, too.”
“Your hair’s longer.” His eyes moved over me in a way that was both hesitant and hungry. It made me feel self-conscious, and at the same time, I wanted him to take me away from here so badly. All I could think of were our reunions in New Orleans—our bodies wrapped together like Asian contortionists. Or spaghetti. Or monkeys.
“I let it grow.” I was so distracted, I tried to think of anything to say. “There was some talk about me doing more broadcast.”
“Of course. The camera loves you.” His words were oddly familiar, but I couldn’t place why. It didn’t matter. The heat between us was so palpable, I was certain anyone within two feet of us could feel it. Brad just laughed and left us to find Rachel.
“I’ll buy you a drink.” He motioned to the bar. “What would you like?”
I realized he was twenty-one now. “Just a glass of white wine.”
I didn’t really want to drink anything, but I needed something to calm my racing heart. I needed something to do with my trembling hands. It was the first time we’d spoken in almost a year.
He turned back with my wine, and I noticed he was having something clear that looked like vodka with a little wedge of lime. He leaned forward, and that fresh, ocean scent flooded my senses. My eyes almost closed, but he shouted. “Want to go outside where it’s quieter?”
“Sure,” I said in my best, casual tone.
Outside, on the back patio, the volume of the band was much lower. A light breeze was blowing as always, and I walked over to look out across the canal.
“Did you like being in London?” The way he asked almost felt like we were meeting each other for the first time, but we knew each other so well. How much changed in a year?
“I guess. I mostly worked.” Looking down, I remembered burying myself in work, trying to forget how badly I missed him. “But the few times I explored the city, it was really amazing. So much history.”
He nodded, and I took the lead. “I heard you’re working full-time now. At the Phoenician?”
He blinked up to me. “Who told you that?”
“My mom. She wondered why it wasn’t my first stop when I got home.”
His brow lined. “She didn’t know we—”
“I didn’t tell her.” I looked down again. “I didn’t tell anybody.”
He didn’t speak, and I decided it was now or never. I couldn’t be here with him like this and not try.
“Julian, what happened to us?” My voice was a cracked whisper. “How could you push me away, give up on everything we had?”
His expression changed, and I saw the old anger brewing there. “That’s the best case of rewriting history I’ve ever heard.”
“How? What is this history you think I’m rewriting?”
“Just let it go, Anna.” He bent his elbow and rested it on the patio column, putting his hand over his eyes. “It’s water under the bridge.”
Stepping forward, I caught his arm. “It doesn’t have to be. I don’t want it to be.”
He lowered his elbow and faced me, looking straight in my eyes. “I was pretty young when I imagined our future. I thought it would be easy, all we needed was love.”
Taking another step closer, I held his gaze, my own eyes heating from the mist pooling there. “You don’t believe that anymore? I still do.”
We were so close, mere inches and our lips would be together. That same, familiar pull was between us, my heart reaching for his.
The longing I’d suppressed burned in my chest as his blue eyes flickered to my mouth. I was sure he’d kiss me. Instead, a group of kids burst out onto the patio, killing our mood. They were laughing and singing too loud, and all at once, I didn’t want to be here anymore. I didn’t want to be anywhere but my room, my bed, far, far under the covers.
“Thank you for the drink.” I said, glancing at the full wine glass I hadn’t touched. My voice was thick with unshed tears. “Please tell Rachel I had to go.”
Without giving him a chance to speak, I took off for my car, not stopping until I was back at the house. It was dark and quiet when I got there. I’d only been gone a little more than an hour, but I supposed my parents turned in earlier now. They were getting older.
I climbed the stairs to my room, took off my flirty dress and shoes and threw them in a pile in the corner. I jerked on my old sleep shirt and stepped across the hall to wash my face. I wasn’t sobbing, I wasn’t even really crying, but every so often a stray tear would leak onto my cheek.
The house was dark and quiet when I went back into my bedroom and shut the door. I was about to turn on the lamp when I heard a noise at my window. My heart jumped when I saw him. He must have followed me soon after I left.
Quickly, I turned the lock on my door before crossing the room to throw open the window and let him in.
We didn’t speak. We didn’t have to. His lips covered mine, and a little noise of happiness ached from my throat. He kissed me fast, claiming my mouth. I held his cheeks, doing my best to keep up as my chest grew tighter with every heartbeat.
We broke apart, his forehead rested on my cheek and we held each other, panting.
“I couldn’t let you go tonight.” His voice was a hoarse whisper. “I couldn’t… I don’t care about the rest.”
Holding his neck, I kissed his lips again and again, savoring the familiar sweet, minty taste of him, loving him kissing me back. “There’s nothing but us. None of that other stuff matters.”
He led me to the small bedside, and I stopped, unbuttoning the rest of the buttons on his white shirt until his tan chest was exposed. Smoothing my hands over the body I knew so well, I pressed a kiss against his skin. He reached down and pulled the sleep shirt over my head so nothing was between us.
We held each other a moment longer before he lifted my chin and kissed me deeply. Like so many nights before, we maneuvered our way into the tiny twin bed, tangling limbs until his body slid into mine with a satisfied groan. My arms were around him, and for me it was completion.
Being with Julian was so easy, so beautiful. Everything in me relaxed with him, with us together. Every kiss, every touch was like we were intended to know exactly what the other needed.
But it was more basic than that, more instinctive or spiritual. Nothing we could’ve done could’ve stopped this reunion. Like a piece of music waiting to be written or the fragments of glass waiting to be put together in a beautiful mosaic. All our broken pieces came together in a gorgeous work of art.
His hips rocked against mine, and we both groaned quietly. My body trembled with the intense feelings he always aroused, and it wasn’t long before we both found the satisfaction we’d been craving.
When it was quiet again, we only held each other. We didn’t speak. He kissed me again before shifting to the side and pulling me against his chest. Nothing had changed, and I was sure nothing would ever change. This was where I belonged. His strong arms were around me, and waves of happiness moved through me with every heartbeat.
Lacing our fingers, I pulled his hand to my lips, kissing the little dragonfly he’d inked there. My ring was just above it—I’d never taken it off. I believed the watercolor he’d made. These little symbols were a part of the love that held us together. They’d been his dream first, and then he’d shared it with me. Now it was mine, and nothing could make me give up on it.
When I opened my eyes the next morning he was gone, but for the first time in a year, I was calm. That horrid, gaping hole that was left when my heart had be
en ripped out was finally filled. It was a space that belonged only to him.
Rolling onto my side, I reached out for the pillow where he’d slept, pulling it to my face and inhaling deeply. I loved his fresh, ocean scent. All I could think about was seeing him today. I wanted to spend every minute with him. I grabbed my phone and sent a text.
Miss you already. What time did you leave? Lying back to stretch my arms over my head, I smiled, remembering his touches, his kiss, the sounds he made when our bodies moved together. Warmth stirred in my middle, and my phone buzzed.
Set my phone alarm like always. Old habits die hard.
My nose wrinkled. Old habits, smart habits. We’re still not able to tell all.
I waited, but nothing more came through. It was okay—if he was working with his dad, I’d have to learn his new schedule.
I kissed the face of my phone and decided I’d surprise him at his office, maybe bring him a picnic lunch. It seemed like the perfect day for one. All my worries were behind me.
Anna’s Private Blog: Complete Backfire
The Kyser-Brennan offices were exactly like they’d always been, not that I expected them to change. It had only been three years ago that I’d come here as an aspiring journalism student, hoping to get an exclusive interview from the area’s richest, most influential businessman. It was the start of a journey that would change my life.
The elevator opened at the penthouse suites, and I stepped out into the familiar wood-paneled lobby. A small sitting area was arranged with magazines and tables. The only new addition was the perky, blonde receptionist behind the desk. She looked about my age.
I hadn’t told Julian I was coming. I’d only packed a basket, thinking we could go down to the beach just outside the building to share it. Being together last night was so gorgeous, I was sure he’d be as eager as me to slip off alone.
The girl behind the desk looked up expectantly.
“Hi, Anna Sanders here to see Julian… um—” I wasn’t sure if he went by LaSalle anymore or if he’d switched to Kyser.
Mosaic (Dragonfly #4) Page 22