by Cooper, Tea
Jake pointed at the figure slumped at the glass table.
“That’s him over there.” Lyle’s body language made it more than obvious that he hadn’t found Maddy and nothing had changed.
“Mr. Jamison.” The young police officer walked over and extended his hand to the older man. Lyle heaved himself to his feet, the glass table rocking with the pressure.
“I’m Senior Constable Burgess.”
“Any news?”
“I’m afraid not, but I have been in contact with Coffs Harbour police, and we have put out an alert in the local area based on your description. It would help if we had a recent photograph and some idea of what she and the child were wearing.”
Jake pulled up an additional chair and sat next to Lyle, encouraged something seemed to be happening at last. Lyle pulled his wallet from his back pocket and produced a small photograph. Jake grimaced. It was a battered copy of the portrait that had upset Cassia so much.
“It’s about twelve months old,” Lyle said. Jake watched as his brother rubbed his thumb across the photograph before handing it to the policeman.
“Her mother said she was wearing cropped red pants, a white T-shirt, and baseball cap, and Jade was dressed in red shorts and a white T-shirt as well. They should be pretty easy to spot.” Lyle ran his hand through his short hair. “That is, if they are still around here and not—”
“I’ll get the description out.” The cop might have been young, but his efficiency and empathy impressed Jake. He was just plain thankful someone was taking the matter seriously.
“I’ll head back to the station. I’d appreciate it if you could stay here for an hour or so. She might turn up, may have been sidetracked or something.”
A waitress placed two coffees on the table in front of them. The aroma set Jake’s stomach rumbling with hunger. He wondered if Cassia was up; he’d planned to take her somewhere for breakfast.
“Lyle.” Jake reached his hand across the table to his brother. “That’s the third sugar you have put into your coffee.” He stilled his brother’s hand, ignoring the puddle of coffee lying on the glass tabletop. “Buck up. They’re doing everything they can. There’s still a chance she’ll turn up. She may have bumped into somebody she knew.”
“I just…it’s too much. Oh, shit. I don’t know what to do.” Jake’s heart went out to his brother. They had done exactly as they had been instructed throughout the whole investigation, and finally, in the last stages when it was all supposed to be over, this had to happen. And the attack on Cassia.
Damn!
He still hadn’t told the police or Lyle about the attack on her.
“Hang in there, mate.” He looked over at the beach and swimming pool. The early-morning swimmers were finishing their laps. The sun glittered across the water, reflecting on the waves as they broke, and the surfers glided into the shore.
This was ridiculous. So much pain and angst didn’t belong in a setting as beautiful as this.
“Jake.”
He broke from his introspection, turning to Lyle with a start. The urgency in Lyle’s voice sent a surge of adrenaline through his body. The coffee cups rattled as his brother pushed the table back and leaped to his feet, the chair clattering to the tiled floor. Jake followed his gaze, squinting into the bright sun.
“Down there on the waterline. Look,” Lyle said, his voice loud and excited. “Look…down there? I think it’s Maddy.”
Jake raised his hand to his forehead, shading his eyes. The silhouette of a stroller moving slowly along the wet sand at the water’s edge came into focus. Behind it, a figure walked, arms outstretched, forming a protective barrier around the wavering stroller, red legs flashing with every step.
“It is.” Lyle’s words wafted back to him as Lyle ran down the steps two at a time to the beach, making him smile for the first time that morning. Jake sank back down into his seat and stretched his legs out. He’d give Lyle and Maddy a moment or two, and then he’d go and find out what had happened. They’d have to go back to the police station, tail between their legs, and admit that the police had probably been right in the first place and they shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. And then he’d be able to get back to Cassia. They needed to have a good, long talk, and they needed some time together, just being themselves and getting used to each other again.
Lyle’s frantic call caught his attention, and he stood up, dropping a ten-dollar note onto the table. He hooked his jacket over his shoulder with a finger and ran down the steps. Time to go and find out what Madeleine and Jade have been up to.
It had better be a pretty good explanation. He was over his brother and his problems; it was time he sorted his own life out.
“Jake.” Maddy ran across the sand to him. Her red trousers contrasted vividly against the yellow sand and the sparkling blue sky. The tension in his body climbed up several notches as he frowned at her smiling face. She came to a halt right in front of him, and he acknowledged her with a brief nod of his head and a raised eyebrow.
“I’m so sorry, Jake.”
It seemed a totally inadequate thing to say, and he couldn’t find the words to respond. Emotionally, he was running on empty. His anger settled to a dull pounding and then seeped away as Lyle’s laugh drifted across the sand.
Some days Jake marveled at the laid-back way Maddy dealt with the disruption to their lives. Today wasn’t one of those days. Today he could have cheerfully throttled her. He shuffled his feet in the sand, watching the individual grains stick to the leather laces of his boat shoes.
“Well, look at you, little Jade. Walking, and Daddy almost missed your first steps.” Jake couldn’t resist rolling his eyes at his brother’s besotted admiration of his daughter when he finally reached him.
“What’s the story?” he asked.
“It seems it was all a bit of a storm in a teacup. Maddy took Jade for a paddle, and she was so impressed with the waves she wanted to play.” He picked Jade up under her arms and swung her around in a circle. “And the self-propelled stroller, well, it was Jade taking herself for a walk. Before we know where we are, she’ll be riding a bike.”
“Are you telling me—”
“They were late because it took a bit longer than Maddy realized,” Lyle finished.
Exerting more patience than he knew he possessed, Jake swallowed down his caustic reply and allowed his brother his moment of paternal glory. “I’ll go back up to the police station and let them know Maddy and Jade have turned up safe and get them to withdraw the missing persons report. Then I’ve got things to do.” The sight of Lyle with one arm around Maddy, Jade dangling from his trouser leg, and an idiotic grin plastered on his face was annoying the hell out of him. “You two can look after yourselves now, can’t you?” He tossed his words back over his shoulder and headed up the beach.
Another day wasted. Another day he could have spent with Cassia. One day, one day soon, he would be able to put their relationship first, where it belonged, and not shelved like some dusty old tome.
Once he got back to Cassia, he’d explain why he had rushed out; she’d understand. The memory of her languorous invitation this morning curled in his groin, and he smiled to himself. They could go out and have a leisurely meal, spend some time together, and then go back to her place.
Then he’d take her up to the farm and show her what he had created. The new gallery and studio were almost finished, and her prancing horses would be delivered next week. Lyle and Maddy would be out of the country, it would all be over, and he and Cassia could finally get on with the rest of their lives. Hopefully.
***
Doubt still niggled in his mind when he pulled into the parking space outside the studio, climbed out, and rang the bell. The intercom was silent. He hit the buzzer again, rubbing his palm as the sound faded. No answer.
“Come on, Cass, answer the door. Come on.” Plans filled his mind; he wanted to talk to her, see her, and touch her. “Come on.” He stepped back and looked up at the plate-gl
ass window. “Don’t do this to me again. Where are you?”
“I’m not up there. I’m here.” The voice coming from behind startled him, and he swung around. Cassia leaned against the corner of the building, her back to the water, arms folded protectively across her chest. The strained smile on her face did not reach her eyes.
“What are you doing down here?” He took a step closer to her. And stopped as she backed away.
“I needed some fresh air, a bit of a walk.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been so long. We had a bit of a problem with Maddy and Jade. You’ll never believe what happened. Poor old Lyle was beside himself. He…”
Her lack of response sent a shiver up his spine; he might have been talking to the wall.
“Cass?” She stared at him, wide-eyed and unseeing. Concussion. He hadn’t thought of a head injury last night. A trickle of guilt ran through him. He should’ve taken her to the hospital, should’ve pushed aside her reassurances and insisted she be checked out by a doctor. Instead, they had made love. Was it what they had done? Or had he just let his need for her take over? Uncontrollable lust? What a jerk he was. Had he just taken what he wanted?
He wondered if the painkillers had fueled her responses, but they couldn’t have. She had enjoyed it as much as he had, wanted him as much as he had wanted her. Still wanted her. When he left, she had wanted him to stay, invited him back to bed. His ignored the rush of blood to his groin and turned his attention to Cassia.
“Let’s go upstairs and sit down for a while.” He’d get her up there and broach the subject of a medical check once she seemed more settled.
“I don’t want to go back upstairs. I want to stay out here.” She sat down on the bollard on the edge of the wharf, swinging her legs as she looked down at the water.
He slid his hands underneath her hair and rested them on her shoulders. She shrugged him off impatiently.
“Let go, Jake. It’s uncomfortable.” It was understandable; of course, she would be stiff and sore. Okay, maybe they shouldn’t go back upstairs.
“Cass, I think it would be a good idea if I took you to the hospital and got you checked over.” He ignored her derisive snort. “I should have suggested it last night or this morning, but—”
“Madeleine needed you,” she finished for him. Rancor dripped from her words as she stared vacantly at the barges on the other side of the harbor.
He squatted down next to her, trying to see into her face. Her hair curled down, covering her bruised cheek. Surely she wasn’t jealous? Not now, not after so long. Disappointment and confusion he could handle. Jealousy wasn’t in her makeup.
“Cass. Let’s go upstairs.”
“No.” Her loud voice alerted a passing water-taxi driver, who looked over and waved. “It’s over. Finished.”
Jake shook his head, totally bewildered by her behavior.
“We have no connection anymore. There’s nothing there. We mean nothing to each other.” She turned back to look at him.
“It’s not what you were saying last night.” He tried to gauge her reaction.
Her face flushed a deep red as she spat out, “Last night I was stupid.”
“Stupid?”
“Yes. Stupidity personified. And I didn’t really want you to stay. It was just…the shock. The shock after the man attacked me. You only stayed because you felt sorry for me.”
“I wanted to be there for you. To show you I would always be there for you.”
Cassia’s breath caught in a soft gasp, and she paused, a frown crumpling her battered face, as if trying to remember. Then she shook her head, her hair flicking from side to side across her face. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve never been there when I needed you.”
The pain in her voice cut through his conscience like a blade. “You can’t seriously believe that. Last night we made love, and you slept in my arms. Why didn’t you stop me?”
“I tried. I told you to go.”
He remembered, but he also remembered how quickly she’d changed her mind.
“Don’t worry, Jake. It’s fine. I understand. It’s me, just me. Everyone has something—someone—more important than me. I understand you had to leave. Madeleine needed you. I’m used to it. It’s not a problem. Everyone leaves me. My mother, my father, and now you. What’s changed? I’m a big girl now; I can stand on my own two feet.”
She didn’t look like it, sitting there swinging her legs in frustration, head down, shoulders slumped.
Where was this coming from?
Jake stared at her. He ran his tongue across his lips to make sure his mouth wasn’t gaping open. “Cassia, your father didn’t leave you. He died.”
He was being harsh, being cruel, he knew, but her impulsive outburst was bordering on hysteria. How long had she been haunted by these thoughts? She needed to understand and get over it. “Your father died a hero. He died saving someone’s life. Putting himself out there. He’s a hero. That’s what heroes do.”
Unlike me.
What had he done? Not much. Just hung around and held the coats. Lyle was a hero. He had put himself out there, sacrificed almost two years of his family’s life to make sure no one else would fall victim to a bunch of drug pushers. He’d stuck to his principles and done the best he could, and now they were behind bars and the drugs off the street.
Cassia sat still and silent. He’d said too much. Her big brown eyes were full of tears, and she was so quiet. Too quiet. Maybe his verbal face-slap had staved off her hysterics, but this mute acceptance was harder to handle.
“I’m going to Melbourne.” He could hardly hear her soft words. She mumbled, hiding behind her hair. He wanted to move it to one side, but he didn’t dare touch her. Instead he leaned closer. Her voice distant, disembodied, sounded as if she was reciting prepared lines.
“I’m sorry. I can’t hear you.”
“I’ve arranged it with Alan. I spoke to him this morning. We’re taking the exhibition to Melbourne. I’m going to look for a studio down there and organize some commissions through the exhibition. I need to get away. I’m going to start out afresh. There’s nothing for me in Sydney.”
“Right. So you’re going to run away like your mother did?” He clapped his hands over his mouth.
Now I’ve really overstepped the mark.
It was too much.
Cassia stood quickly. Her steps away from him brought her ominously close to the water’s edge. She tossed her hair off her face, eyes blazing. The raw, red lump on her cheek stood out in stark contrast to the alabaster pallor of her face; her clenched teeth emphasized her jawline. All he wanted to do was to pull her into his arms, but a vision of her disappearing into the water stalled him.
“You don’t know everything about my mother. It’s not something I like to talk about, but perhaps since you seem so keen to keep throwing my relationship with my parents in my face, it is time I told you the full story.”
Of course, he knew the story of her mother. What was she talking about? Her mother had gone back to London when her marriage had fallen apart. Cassia had stayed in Australia with her father, encouraged to pursue her artistic dreams. He let out a forced breath, rubbing his chin. She needed to get this off her chest.
“When I was little, I was no different than any other kid. I didn’t think about my family; they were just there. I knew I could count on them to always be there for me, to take care of me and love me every day. Unlike you, I was an only child. I didn’t have to compete for my parents’ attention—I had it all. And then one day when I was seven, I came home from school and my mother had gone. Left. She didn’t die. She wasn’t ill; she just walked out. She was sick of me. Over me. But luck was on my side.” Her derisive laugh, blurred by unshed tears, echoed back at him.
“Oh, Cass, it wasn’t like that.” His stomach churned in sympathy, as he shared every piece of her grief. He reached out to touch her, comfort her, but he let his hand fall as she shrugged it away.
“I still had my father, and I w
as everything to him. He couldn’t do enough for me. I counted on him for everything, and he provided it. Until one day, he decided that some unknown person needed him more than I did, and the rest you know. He jumped off the rocks into the surf to save her. He failed. He failed the woman he was trying to save, and he failed me. A bit of a cardboard hero, really.”
“You don’t mean it, Cass. You’re angry right now.” He looked across the expanse of water, and she ignored him, her thoughts obviously locked on some distant memory he couldn’t even guess at.
“And then you came along, and I thought I could count on you, but no. You decided your brother’s wife was more important to you, and you failed me too.” He could hear the bitterness lacing her voice. “There is only one person I can count on, and that’s me. I’ve learned. It’s time I grew up.”
Jake gaped at her, speechless. His jaw ached from grinding his teeth, and taking a deep breath, he groped for an appropriate response. How could he have lived with her for so long and known so little about her, so little about what made up the beautiful, whimsical, and capricious creature who had given him so much happiness? She stood in front of him, hands on her hips, her face flushed with anger and the hurt laid buried for so very long. Anger he had known nothing about.
“I don’t have any more room in my heart for rejection, and as self-centered as I may sound, I am tired of playing second fiddle. I want to count. And the only way I can is through my art. It is the only time I can be in control of my own destiny, and it is what I am going to do, and it’s what I am going to concentrate on.”
“Cass, I didn’t know. Why have we never talked like this before?” She was right. He had failed her, and he had failed her miserably. She deserved better, and she deserved to follow her dreams. He had no right to make decisions for her, impose his needs on her. He knew what it was like. His father had played the same games. Building the gallery and studio at the farm for her was the kind of control his father would have used. He was putting his needs first and masking it by pretending he was doing something for her. He had no right to ask her to put her life on hold and change for him. He shook his head slowly as he realized what a mistake he had made.