by Tawny Weber
“Peter’s going to get a regular job, sure,” Jason finally said. “But he’s like me. It’ll drive him nuts after awhile. I know he thinks this is going to work out for him, the settling down and staying in one place. But it can’t last.”
“You’re saying there is no way your brother, who loves this woman enough to marry her, will be happy spending his life with her?” Larissa snapped, knowing she was projecting but not caring. Unable to stay still, she started pacing the seven-foot distance between the bench and the storefront.
“You realize this isn’t about us, right?” he chimed in, sounding bored as he leaned back, his elbows on the side of the bench.
“I’m just saying, how can a marriage work if one of the two people involved is going to be miserable? Wasn’t it Peter who pointed out that little fact when we got engaged? Didn’t he say that you’d hate being stuck and eventually hate me for making you stay around?” The words were bitter on her tongue. She stopped pacing to plant her fists on her hips and glare. “So how is it going to be different for Mr. Know It All? How is his marriage going to survive?”
“I don’t give a shit what happens to Peter’s marriage,” Jason snapped, no longer looking relaxed as he sat up straight and returned her glare. “I need to make sure there is a large enough steady income to keep my mom in the assisted living home and off state assistance.”
Larissa’s anger drained so fast, it should have been accompanied by a sucking sound. Her cheeks warmed and her eyes burned. She hadn’t known his mom was in a home. Iris Cantrell had had a stroke while on an archeological dig five years ago. Her husband had gotten her medical care as fast as possible, but she’d been permanently affected and unable to care for herself ever since. The last Larissa had known, Iris and Lawrence had retired here in South Carolina.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she was doing so poorly. I guess your dad can’t take care of her on his own any longer?” Larissa asked quietly.
“Dad wasn’t cut out to play nursemaid, apparently,” Jason said, rising to take over her pacing track. “After her second stroke, she was a lot more dependent. Dad couldn’t handle it. Right before we split up, actually, he filed for divorce. They never had much, since all their money went back into their research. He left her the house, but took what little cash they had.”
Why hadn’t he told her? Turned to her? Despite her own feeling of rejection, Larissa reached out a hand in support, wanting to offer something, anything, to ease the pain and anger in his voice. But his back was to her as he stared at the dark, empty wall of stores.
Before she could think of anything to say, he took a loud breath, then shrugged like he was shaking off his emotions. When he turned back to her, his face was calm. But she could still see the pain in his eyes.
“So that’s why I need to keep Can-Do Adventures kicking ass. There are responsibilities. And for now, they fall to me to handle. Peter will be back full time eventually. That’s not a reflection on his marriage, simply a fact. We Cantrell men are just made that way.”
“And his wife?”
“Meghan’s cool,” Jason judged, looking uncomfortable. “I guess they’ve talked about it. She’ll travel a little, too. She says she’ll be okay with whatever Peter does.”
Unlike Larissa.
It was a damned good thing she wasn’t in love with Jason any longer. And just as soon as her heart stopped crumbling like that stupid cookie, she’d work on being grateful.
“So what about you?” Jason asked, rocking back on his heels, hands in his pockets, looking so casual that it would be easy to overlook his tight face and hunched shoulders. “You still haven’t explained why you’re still at the same bookstore. What happened to all your dreams? I can’t believe you’d wait this long and change them that much.”
His words poured out so fast, she knew he was using them like a shield. Like her advice, or even her company for anything more than a few weeks, Jason didn’t want her sympathy.
She swallowed the ball of misery that’d welled up in her throat and made a show of gathering their dinner leftovers to hide her face so he wouldn’t see the pain burning in her eyes.
“You’re not going to share?” he asked after a painful silence.
“There isn’t much to share,” she said tonelessly as she walked a few feet over to a trash can to toss everything, eaten or not. “I already told you that I’d decided to take some classes, solidify my foundation and perfect my business plan before I made a big move.”
Shoulders knotted, she debated returning to the bench or finding somewhere to hide until she had a grip on her crazy, out-of-control emotions. But it was getting hotter by the minute, the air a physical thing now, like a heavy, damp blanket laying over the mall. If it was this warm out here in the open mall, she knew the heat would be worse hiding in the store.
“So you’ve spent the last two years going to school?” Jason prodded.
He wouldn’t let her run and hide. He’d fessed up, and he would insist she do the same. So Larissa returned to the pool of candlelight surrounding the bench. She didn’t sit, though.
“I’ve been building a foundation,” she corrected. “I’m known as one of the leading authorities on romance in the country now.”
His mouth dropped. Actually grateful for a way to break the emotional ice, she asked in a teasing tone. “What’s with the shock? You don’t think I’m qualified?”
He opened his mouth, then shut it and shrugged. “I have no idea. I don’t even know what that means. Are you famous or something?”
She gave a little laugh. “Not famous, really. I started an online column a few years back called Romance Rules. It turned into a big hit. It was syndicated, then picked up by Cosmopolitan magazine.”
Jason’s eyes widened.
“I thought that was more about sex and fashion than hearts and flowers.”
“I provide contrast and balance,” she informed him with a big smile. “Actually, I’m really proud of how well it’s going. I was nervous at first. I mean, like you say, their platform is pretty much living the sexy life. But we quickly found out that even sexy lives need romance. Now I’m a hit.”
She was proud of how she’d made that distinction. That women could have full, exciting sex lives that made them feel loved and wanted and needed. After all, that’s what romance boiled down to in her opinion. Feeling special because of love.
“So you have all that going for you,” he said with a proud grin. “That’s great. I’m going to have to pick up one of those magazines and see what you’re advising.”
Larissa gave him a slow, shy smile. She’d had this secret fantasy once. Or twice. Or every time she wrote an article—that Jason might randomly pick up the magazine while waiting in an airport or doctors office and see her name. He’d be curious, then awed at her advice column. And he’d see all the things he’d done wrong in their relationship and hurry back to fix them.
A crazy fantasy. Especially since she knew he only read travel pieces and spy novels.
“But why open a store here if you’ve got that going on?” he asked. “If you’re going to keep a store and that romance thing, I’d think you’d stay in the house the bookstore is already in. You always seemed to love that place.”
She crashed back to earth with a mental thud as she realized his interest was really all about the store, not her.
“The Victorian is fine,” she explained, her tone a little chilly. “It’s gorgeous and wonderfully preserved. Mr. Murphy has even made a number of renovations based on my suggestions. The dining room and back parlor were combined to create a café. It does a nice amount of business, and there are four bookclubs that meet there monthly.”
She babbled on for another few minutes about the glory and wonder of Murphy’s Books before she noticed the little smile on Jason’s face.
Her voice trailed off as she struggled to read that smile.
“What?” she asked.
“You love that store. I get it. What I don’t get
is why you’re still there. You’re a nationwide romance authority. You’ve got two degrees, what I’m sure is the best business plan in existence and unless you’ve gone crazy, you had a decent chunk of money to fund whatever plans you had.”
“So?”
“So I’m confused. I asked you before but you haven’t answered me. Why haven’t you left the store to start your own gig long before this? Or why haven’t you simply bought old man Murphy out, like you said you were going to two years ago and made that store your own?”
JASON WAS SURPRISED at how much he needed to know that answer. It wasn’t like she’d been under contract to follow through with her plans, even though those damned plans had been a major player in their breakup.
“As wonderful as it is, it doesn’t fit the image I want to create,” she confessed, sitting on the bench and giving him a dreamy sort of look. “A dedicated bookstore is a wonderful thing, but I don’t want to focus solely on books. I want to expand to all things romantic. That’s the name of my store, by the way, Isn’t It Romantic.”
“Cute.” And it was. In a fluffy, girly kind of way. From a guy’s angle, she’d bet it was a little hive-inducing. “So it’s a girl store? I’d have thought females would swoon over Murphy’s place. It’s got all that quaint architecture and history and character. But if you don’t want to do it there, why not open in a typical mall?” His why here? was unspoken but clear.
“The Victorian is in a smaller neighborhood and brings in local patrons but won’t ever get the kind of foot traffic The Cartright will bring in,” she said, looking around the space like she was seeing it filled with rich shoppers, their fists filled with credit cards as they stampeded toward her doors. “This location will not only bring in guest shoppers from all over the country, but the local businesses will patronize it as well. The median income of the shoppers here will be much higher than the average mall, too.”
He frowned. Was he the only one who saw the glitch in her plan?
“Don’t take this wrong, but these stores…” He waved his hand to indicate the closed doors lining the mall walkway. “Tiffany, Louis Vuitton, Apple. These are all pretty high dollar, right?”
“So?” she snapped. “Isn’t that why you want to make a sex museum here? To attract the high dollar customers?”
“It’s not a sex museum,” he corrected with a grin, glad she remembered his plans. “It’s an opportunity to partake in exclusive couples’ weekend adventures.”
“Whatever,” she dismissed. “This place is perfect for all the reasons I’ve already told you. And clearly, my window display would look better next to Tiffany’s glitter than your penis stick.”
His grin widened. She had a good point. Not that he’d give up his claim, but that koteka was a pretty beat up piece of wood. Propping it in a window next to a bunch of diamonds was a little pathetic.
“Regardless of which one of our windows would look better next to the diamonds, I’m still confused.”
“About?”
“Daniel told me they’d just made the decision to hold one space for a local friend a month ago. You couldn’t have been planning on this location for all that time.”
Larissa’s smile faded. She looked down at her skirt, brushing at the fabric like she was trying to smooth out the wrinkles with her palm.
“I’d get it if you’d opened at a different location and were looking to move up,” he said. “But you’re just getting rolling. So what’s the deal? Why the delay in starting your own business?”
She’d always used the store as a reason not to travel with him.
Had it all been bullshit?
Had all those middle-of-the-night doubts about his career choice been brought on by a lie?
“I told you—”
“Right,” he interrupted. “You had to build a stronger foundation. Which sounds great. But that’s not what you said you were going to do a couple of years ago.” When they’d broke up over it, dammit. “You said you needed to focus on getting your shit together so you could buy Murphy’s store.”
She clamped her arms across her belly. He wondered if she knew her jacket was still unbuttoned enough to make that move a gorgeous temptation as the candlelight flickered over the curves of her breasts.
Jason tore his gaze away, forcing himself to keep his eyes on her face. That’s where he’d find answers. Looking for them in the other parts of her body only led to trouble.
“I didn’t buy the store right after we split up because…” She stared past his shoulder for a second like she was trying to figure out exactly what to say. Or how to say it. Then she gave a little one-shouldered shrug that played havoc on his intention to keep his eyes on her face. “I wasn’t in a good place, emotionally, after we split up. It took me awhile to be sure of myself. Of my dream. I’d already lost one of the most important things in my life. I didn’t want to blow the other.”
Jason winced. He’d have rather she kicked him in the gut with those high heels of hers. He hated that he’d hurt her, even though she’d been the one to cheat. Yeah, he might have mentally called her all manner of horrible names at the time, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t known that she had to have been miserable with him if she was going to do something that drastic. Before, he’d have sworn that cheating wasn’t in Larissa’s repertoire.
But he’d been so pissed, so worried he’d do something violent, he’d walked off when she’d refused to explain. So this was the first chance he’d had to deal with the aftermath of their breakup, face to face.
It didn’t feel any better now than it would have then.
Obviously uncomfortable with sharing as much as she had—or with his pained silence—Larissa sprang to her feet. Before she could go anywhere, he stepped forward, blocking her path. He didn’t know what he wanted to say to her. Hell, he didn’t even know what he wanted from her. A chance to worship her body for a few hours, sure. But she wasn’t the type of girl to offer up a free ride. And he wouldn’t have…liked her as much if she were. From the time they were kids, he’d had a thing for her. But he’d ignored it. Mostly because of just that reason. Larissa was a good girl.
Which was why he’d asked her to marry him. Because a guy didn’t do all those lustful and wild things to a good girl unless he planned to do right by her, too.
He’d have probably done them both a favor if he’d just seduced her without offering up a lot of promises he’d known he couldn’t keep.
“Jason, I’d like to pass, please,” she said quietly.
“Wait a second,” he said. He still didn’t know what to say. He just knew he had to say something.
So he spoke from the heart. Or somewhere close by.
“Look, we both made mistakes before. But, you know, I miss you,” he admitted quietly. Her eyes rounded so wide, her lush eyelashes almost touched her brows.
Taking that as a good sign, Jason stepped closer, trailing one finger along the smooth skin of her cheek before slipping his knuckle under her chin to lift her face to his.
She didn’t slap him away. Another good sign.
“I’m not claiming monkhood or anything, but I haven’t had a relationship since we split,” he confessed. “I’ve never found anyone I wanted to be with like I want you. Never cared about anyone else enough to want to spend the time or effort to build something.”
Her tongue slipped out to wet her lips, making his fingers clench. She stared into his eyes as if she were trying to see into his soul. He shifted, a little uncomfortable at that idea. After all, even he didn’t know what was in there.
“So? What do you think?” he asked, cringing inwardly at his awkwardness. He’d had more finesse in grade school. But that look on Larissa’s face, so searching and honest, made him fumble.
“Think? About what, exactly?”
“About us. You and me. Spending some time together,” he clarified, starting to regain his verbal footing. “After we’re out of here, I mean.”
She blinked a couple times, a tiny wrink
le forming between her eyebrows. Tilting her head to one side, she asked, “Like…what? Dating?”
“Right,” he said, relieved that she’d waded through his fumbling to get to the heart of his suggestion. “Date, hang out, get cozy.”
He slid his hand around to cup her chip, marveling at how soft her skin was beneath his fingers. Leaning down, he held her eyes as he brushed a whisper soft kiss over her lips.
The frown didn’t go away, though.
“What do you think?” he asked, trying a second kiss, this one with a little more pressure.
She moved her head back. Just enough to break contact with his mouth. She didn’t pull her chin from his hand, though. That was a good sign, right?
“So you want to go back to what we had before, without the commitment. We date. When you’re in town. We hang out. When you have time. And we get cozy. When you’re horny.”
Jason narrowed his eyes. Was she pissed? He couldn’t read her tone. Her face was blank.
“We can get cozy when you’re horny, too,” he promised trying out his most charming smile.
She didn’t smile back.
“Well?” he encouraged. He knew he should wait. He should have been more tactful, maybe a little more seductive. He should have started by asking for a date, not lining it all up like that.
But still, maybe she’d say yes.
Holding his breath, he waited. Larissa gave him a long, indecipherable look. The she slowly shook her head. Shoulders low, she pressed her lips together before saying, “I don’t think it’d be a good idea. I doubt either one of us has changed what we want out of life. Or out of a relationship. So why go through the misery and disappointment all over again?”
“It doesn’t have to be misery if we know from the get go what the game plan is,” Jason objected, even though he knew she was right. But, dammit, he didn’t want her to be. He wanted it all. His career and freedom. And the woman he…cared a great deal about.
He winced, knowing if she could hear his thoughts she’d give him that arched look of hers as if to say, see, I told you so.