by Donna Alward
The barn—the one at the top of the mountain, tilting sideways and abandoned. Good heavens, Abby hadn’t ever suspected something like this. It wasn’t just a simple affair with the help. Edith had found herself smack-dab in the middle of espionage, with her husband off fighting the war and an enemy spy in her bed.
Torn between loyalty to her country and the demands of her heart, Edith wrote how she couldn’t reconcile the Nazi with the man who had been so kind and loving to her and her daughter. Abby frantically flipped through the pages until she came to the entry detailing the night Edith finally confronted him about his allegiance.
Kristian confessed everything: how he was pressured into joining the Nazi party by his parents, how he was trapped spying for a cause he didn’t believe in … and more importantly how he’d turned double agent for the Americans. Abby’s heart broke as she read the smudged lines on the page when Edith described how Kristian made the crucial decision to leave Jewell Cove in order to protect Edith from his double life and took an assignment with the Resistance overseas.
Sailing the Atlantic in wartime was a dangerous proposition, and Edith’s journal was filled with both worry over Kristian’s welfare and the dangerous job he was about to do. Pages of the diary were filled with her despair. Each day Edith prayed Kristian wouldn’t be caught or killed. That one day they would find each other again.
Finally Abby came to one of the last entries in the diary, dated in October of 1943. Edith’s elegant handwriting was cramped and excited. Kristian was coming home. Abby remembered the letter she found under the floorboards in the nursery and smiled thinking about how happy Edith seemed in the diary pages, but as she continued reading, the smile slipped from her face. A scarce month later Elijah came home—wounded, battle weary, and with a changeable temper that made him even more unpredictable. Elijah is home, Edith wrote. Nothing will ever be the same.
Abby found herself wiping away tears as she read about Edith and Kristian’s tearful good-bye the night after Elijah’s return. Staying and carrying on their affair was too dangerous. No matter what Kristian had done, they loved each other. And if nothing else, Iris had been conceived in love in a world and time filled with hate and intolerance. There was something beautiful about that.
Abby closed the cover carefully and put it on the floor beside her. She’d been through most of the chest now, with just a few items left at the bottom. There was a pair of knitted bootees that were impossibly small, and a pink and white quilt that was the perfect size for a crib, pieced together with tiny stitches. Abby didn’t need confirmation to know that it had been Iris’s, and she put her hand on it, missing her grandmother terribly. Abby lifted the quilt to get a better look and something fell out and hit the floor.
It was a letter, precisely folded and written on pale blue stationery. A letter, Abby thought, that seemed particularly hidden and had never been sent. She handled the pages gently, looked at the elegantly looped handwriting she now recognized as Edith’s. Mother and Dad, it said on the outside.
Abby’s fingers shook as she unfolded the pages and began to read.
May 8, 1945
Dearest Mother and Dad,
Please forgive me for saying good-bye this way. If there were any other choice, I wish I could have seen it so I could spare everyone pain. It’s so very selfish of me to choose happiness when I know that choice will make others unhappy. So I’m sorry. Sorry I wasn’t a better daughter, a stronger woman. Sorry if I’ve let you down.
When I married Elijah I thought I was doing the right thing. It was easy to be dazzled by him—rich and charming and smart, and he catered to my every whim. Even then I sensed the kind of man he was and willfully ignored it. Things changed shortly after our marriage. I tried to put a good face on it publicly, but he wasn’t—isn’t—a kind husband. I soon felt trapped in an opulent prison. The one blessing that came of our marriage was Marian. I love her so much and her innocence and enthusiasm for everything reminds me of what I used to be like. The way I hope to be again.
In Elijah’s long absence, I fell in love. His name is Kristian. He is a strong, kind man who makes me laugh. I’d nearly forgotten how, you see. When I am with Kristian, I know everything will be all right somehow. I know having an affair was wrong, but he saved me. He gave me back myself and I find I can’t be sorry for that. He also gave me Iris. I suspect Elijah knows Iris is not his daughter, though he has yet to accuse me of anything.
Today the war is over. It should be a time for celebrating. Instead Kristian is waiting for us at the barn at the top of the hill, waiting for us to arrive, and then we are all going to be together. We are going to leave Jewell Cove and go far away to become the happy, loving family I always wanted and that I know you wanted for me. I want you to remember the good reasons why I’m leaving—for love and happiness and contentment.
I don’t have much time, but I hid a keepsake box in the nursery under the floor. There you will find the letters Kristian wrote to me, a lock of his hair, and his father’s watch that he gave to me before he left last time. Perhaps you can find it and keep it for me … when we meet again.
Tomorrow we’ll be on a ship to a new life. When that happens, remember, Mother—and Daddy—how much I love you. I will think of you both often, and write when I can and share stories of Marian and Iris’s escapades. And maybe one day we can all come back and sit in the rose garden again.
Your loving daughter,
Edith
By the time Abby got to the end she was crying. The elegant, curved writing was filled with love and affection for the two girls—and for her parents. Kristian had been waiting in the barn, then. Her vision made sense now—the suitcase with the clothes scattered about, Marian in her little jacket hiding in Edith’s skirts. Edith had died on the stairs. And Iris had been sent away to live with Edith’s parents, never knowing the truth.
Leaving Marian behind. To live with a man Edith proclaimed was angry and unpredictable and unkind. Maybe, despite the obvious wealth, Iris had been the lucky one after all.
Finding out the truth—solving the mystery—should have made Abby happy. Instead it left her feeling empty and wanting because having the answers changed nothing. In fact, she felt like she was somehow losing her grandmother all over again, in addition to losing a family she hadn’t even known.
* * *
Abby put on her running shoes and her blue sweat jacket and made the trek back up the mountain to the summit. It was her favorite spot on the property, wild and free. She breathed deeply as she gazed at the view. It was easy here. Her chest felt like it was expanding and she felt taller. Here, she realized, she was in absolute control because it was the one place she felt safe to be herself. She was going to miss it.
The barn stood behind her, dark and dilapidated. She examined it, thinking about Edith and Kristian and all she’d learned. How horrible it must have been to find him there, to discover his terrible secret. How exciting to think of him waiting to whisk her away to a new life. She wondered if the barn held other memories, too. Of secret trysts and whispered promises.
Kristian had been Edith’s happiness. Her home was where he was, because Edith had been prepared to uproot her entire existence to be with him. She’d even been willing to leave her family behind. What did that sort of devotion feel like?
A chilly breeze blew at Abby’s back and she turned, startled to see black thunderclouds closing in rapidly. When she’d left the house, fat, puffy clouds had been floating carelessly on a pale sea of blue. She’d known showers were forecast for the afternoon but she hadn’t expected them to blow in this soon.
If she ran now, she might make it back to the house before getting soaked, but she doubted it. Already a gray sheet of rain was trailing behind the clouds, obscuring the view beyond. Lightning forked, a searing, jagged jolt touching the ground. Only a few seconds elapsed before it was followed by an earthshaking grumble of thunder. It was coming up the coast fast. There was no way she’d make it home before getting dre
nched.
The first cold, fat drop hit her face.
She would have to wait it out in the barn.
The splatters came faster as she jogged to the old structure. The door opened with a drawn-out creak, the hinges rusted from years of neglect and the salty moisture of the sea air. She stepped inside, her heart pounding in the darkness. Pinpoints of dim light shot through holes in the roof and walls, illuminating dust motes. Hay had been left here at some point, the scent old and musty.
She jumped when she heard the flap of wings overhead, her breathing coming in short gasps. It was just a swallow, though, dipping and flitting about before settling in its nest on one of the high rafters, waiting out the storm just like her.
She walked farther inside, the sound of the rain muted against the old roof. It was bound to leak so she kept her eyes open for holes and tried to avoid the drips. The pinpricks of light were gone now, leaving the space in dark shadow as the black clouds completely blocked out the sun. The wind howled around the empty spaces and gaps in the building, a mournful cry that Abby felt clear to the soles of her feet.
Something moved, just inside her field of vision on her right. For the space of a second her body froze and she couldn’t breathe. She knew instinctively she wasn’t alone.
She remembered Art mentioning bears liking the blackberries … surely one wouldn’t come into the barn, would it? Her body was paralyzed with fear even as her pulse leaped, thrumming so loudly it pounded in her ears. She turned her head to see what was watching her. Poised to run if she had to …
It was a who, not a what, that stood in the back corner. She recognized Kristian from the blue eyes and fair hair. He wore a brown traveling suit, very ordinary, much the same quality as Edith’s plain blue dress, and a suitcase sat beside him on the floor. They’d been looking to blend in, not stand out, hadn’t they?
She shouldn’t be surprised to find him here. If she’d seen Edith, why not Kristian, too? Her pulse steadied. She wasn’t frightened of him. Instead a sweeping sadness washed over her as she swallowed thickly. It felt like the end of a dream. The death of hope.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice echoing strangely in the open space. “Edith isn’t coming, Kristian.”
The light in the barn changed, lighting up like a camera flash. Abby’s eyes widened as she stared out the open door. Hail drummed against the barn, hard pellets of ice that bounced off the ground like white marbles. And then there was another blinding light and a resounding crack that filled her ears like a gunshot.
Abby dropped to the floor, covering her head with her hands as splinters of wood fell all around her, the vision of Kristian temporarily forgotten. The noise was deafening now, odd creaking and snapping as everything surrounding her tilted. She scrambled forward on her knees, rushing toward the only open space she could see—the door.
She was nearly there when the weight of the roof shifted in a gust of wind and the walls beneath it trembled from the strain. With one heavy sigh, it all leaned until the wall buckled—and the barn came tumbling down around her.
CHAPTER 19
Tom had the power shut off as he worked on installing the chandelier. It really should have been a two-man job, considering how heavy the damned thing was. If Abby were here, she could at least help him hold it up while he connected the wiring and then put it in place. But when he’d arrived the house had been eerily silent. And that damned FOR SALE sign had taunted him from the front lawn.
She couldn’t be far. Her car was still in the yard and her purse was sitting next to the phone on the hall table. But she was nowhere in the house or garden.
He frowned, cursed as he adjusted the fixture on the makeshift scaffolding he’d concocted from a spare stepladder and a piece of plywood in his truck. She was avoiding him. There was no need. They’d called a truce and he’d meant it.
But she hadn’t wasted any time getting that FOR SALE sign up, had she? It had annoyed him from the moment he’d caught sight of it when he’d turned up the lane. For a woman who claimed to care so much about family, who appeared to have a tender heart behind her sharp tongue, she sure found it easy to just pick up and leave.
Tom had his faults, but at least he’d never run away from his problems. Hell, she’d accused him of still being hung up on Erin. Funny thing was, he was pretty sure that he hadn’t been in love with her for some time. Guilt was a far more prevalent emotion than grief or love. Guilt for how he’d handled their last meeting. And also a little guilt about moving on. Because he had moved on. He was pretty sure he cared a great deal for the aggravating Miss Foster.
Well, little did she know. She might be determined to bail, might not care for the house, but he did. With the money she was paying him for the renovations, he had enough for a down payment. And if he could talk the asking price down a bit, his savings would cover the mortgage for a while.
And he could always sell his cottage. It was small but it was prime waterfront property. It would make someone a good summer home when all was said and done.
He just didn’t want her to know it was him buying it until the deal was done.
The light through the windows dimmed and he squinted, focusing on twisting a marrett around the wires. Whether she was avoiding him or not, there was a storm blowing in. He’d felt it earlier, in the uneasy heat of midday, saw it in the way the leaves were flipped over in the restless breeze. It was already clouding over and the wind was coming up, gusting at the windows. As he screwed the mounting plate into place, he scowled. The first rolls of thunder were rumbling along through the valley. If Abby were out there, she’d better be hoofing it home by now, or else she was going to get caught right in the middle of it.
He didn’t realize how much the weather had changed until he took down the sheet of plywood and went to put it back in his truck. The sky was ominously black and the cold bite of the wind told him there was a good chance they’d get hammered with hail. Worried now and a bit angry that she was out wandering around, he cupped his hands to his mouth. “Abby!” he called, his voice swallowed up by the wind. “Abby!”
No answer.
Something was wrong. He couldn’t explain it, had no proof but the heavy, frightened feeling that was centered in the pit of his stomach. He remembered the sensation far too well to ignore it a second time.
The thunder and lightning grew louder and he scanned the hill behind the house, willing her to appear at any moment. Instead the skies opened up, pouring down sheets of rain. He raced inside, flicked the light switch and remembered that he’d turned off the breaker. There was a brilliant flash followed by a crash of thunder that made the glasswork rattle above his head. When he flicked the breaker and hit the switch, nothing happened.
The rain seemed to ease for a second, but the storm had merely taken a breath. It only paused for a moment before the hail started.
He had to find her. He hadn’t passed her on the way up the hill, so she couldn’t have gone toward town. That only left one direction. Up. He ran out to the truck and started it, turning on the wipers as he made his way down the lane toward the road. Maybe she was still at the top. The old barn was there. She could have taken shelter. Maybe she was snug as a bug after all. He could always hope. If not, she’d be soaked to the skin by now. The dark feeling persisted. Or worse, the little voice inside him said. He wouldn’t let himself go there. It was just a storm. She would be wet but all right.
A half-mile up the road he was stopped by the gate. It was secured with a heavy chain and lock—nothing his tools could cut through. He slammed the door and began to jog up the hill. “Abby?” He called her name now and again, holding the hood of his jacket up over his head against the sting of pelting hail.
He could see the barn at the crest of the hill. God, he hoped she was in there. If not, he’d have to take shelter until the storm passed before making his way back down again.
He was only a hundred yards away when the lightning struck. He’d never seen anything like it. The sharp repor
t was like a cannon going off and wood shrapnel flew everywhere as one side of the barn literally exploded in front of his eyes. The heavy weight of the rotted roof was too much for the wounded wall of the barn. It began to tilt, leaning to one side as the support started to crumble.
Then he saw her. Her bright blue hoodie stood out against the gray of the barn and the storm as she crawled toward the doorway. He ran forward, his heart pounding, terrified he wouldn’t reach her in time.
The barn came down in a dramatic puff of dust and wood, and he couldn’t see the blue hoodie anymore.
* * *
Abby coughed as dust rose all around her. Her ears rang and she blinked slowly. For the space of a heartbeat she thought she saw him again. Kristian. Blond hair, blue eyes, sharp cheekbones. And a gentleness and understanding that made her soul ache.
The barn had come down. She understood that much. The rubble was strewn all around her and she seemed to be lying in a pocket of space, surrounded by wood and old curled shingles. She wrapped her hands around herself as goose bumps rose on her arms. It was cold, so cold. She should head back to the house. Something about the thought didn’t seem quite right, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.
She couldn’t seem to make herself move. Maybe if she just closed her eyes and rested for a minute or two. She pictured the FOR SALE sign at the end of the lane. She’d felt an odd sense of loss looking at it today. But what else could she do? She’d done what she’d come to do, hadn’t she? She’d found the answers she’d come for. But then it had been more. She’d gotten invested. Dead or not, it wasn’t about names on paper. Those names had stopped being relatives and had become her family.
She looked around her. Kristian had been here that long-ago night. How had he felt when Edith and the children hadn’t shown up? What had he done? Slipped away quietly or gone looking for them? As the hours had gone by, had he worried? Given up hope? Wondered if she’d changed her mind?