by Jade West
And it is real.
This is real.
The way my heart beats against his is real. The love I see in his smile, that’s all real too.
I sing the words as he does, and this song is all about feeling like an outsider in a crowded world, which is funny, because the world is empty tonight. It’s just him and me, and I’ve never felt less of an outsider than I do right now.
“This was worth every penny,” he whispers as the song finishes up. “I’d have paid ten times over to see you so happy.”
And that’s why I don’t a send a cancellation text Dean after all.
That’s why I keep my shit together enough to ride this crazy train right to the end of the line.
Because as much as it scares the crap out of me to take this so insanely far, it’ll be worth every panicked heartbeat to give Alexander Henley exactly what he wants.
Even if Alexander Henley thinks he’s doing it all for me.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Alexander
Amy is glowing as we give our thanks to the band after the set. She tells them how much she loves them, eyes twinkling as she relays all the same stories she told me.
I love listening to them.
I love listening to her.
If I was a man who believed in mumbo jumbo, I’d say she and I stood as indisputable evidence that soulmates really do exist. That there really is fate at play behind the chaos of life. That chance encounters are sometimes nothing less than little miracles.
She feels like a miracle to me.
But I’m not, so this is simply an extraordinarily perfect set of coincidences.
It doesn’t make it any less beautiful.
Amy can’t hide her disappointment as I suggest we cab it home for the rest of the evening. It surprises me when she takes my hand and implores we stay out awhile. Suggests we live a little.
I’m happy to indulge her.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been out amidst the general populous on a Saturday night. There’s a thrum in the air as we step into a busy little tavern just down the road from the venue.
Amy orders a wine as I contemplate my options.
I should go for a mineral water, but she squeezes my arm before I can.
“Live a little, right?” she calls over the humdrum, and she’s right.
I really should live a little.
So I do. I order the finest whisky they have, then trail happily behind my sparkling Amy as she leads us to an empty table in the corner.
The humdrum pales for me the moment she disappears to the bathroom. Tonight isn’t about London, or having a few drinks in spite of my own self-imposed abstinence. It’s not even about our private performance from the world’s greatest band.
Tonight is all about her and this insane connection we share.
The insane connection that has me hoping I can navigate this terrible fucking mess of my life and come out the other side unscathed.
With her.
I want to come out the other side with her.
I tell her so when she returns. My voice is just a ghost in her ear. The hand I’ve placed against her spine registers her intake of breath when I say the words.
“Come away with me.”
“Come away with you where?”
“Wherever I have to go,” I answer, and her eyes flash with fear.
I really shouldn’t have said anything. That’s champagne and whisky for you.
“Where will you have to go?!”
I shrug. “Out of the city, certainly. Out of the country, maybe.”
“What about your boys?”
My gut twists. “My boys have a new life now. A better life.” I take a breath. “I’ll be at the end of the phone whenever they need me. I’ll arrange transport whenever they want to come.”
Her stare is uncertain. “You want me to come with you? Like… with you? Is this…”
“You know what this is,” I tell her. “Unless I’m very, very much mistaken, we both do.”
She shakes her head. “You’re not. I’m just… surprised…”
“You’re surprised?”
“Yeah. I just… I thought I must just be a… because you pay me and I don’t…”
I kiss her temple. “I’ve paid for a lot of sex in the past few years, but I can assure this is the first time I’ve ever paid half a million to take a girl to see her favourite band.”
She doesn’t have any words, just the hugest blue eyes. And I laugh.
It feels so fucking good to laugh.
She laughs too. She laughs the delicious kind of laugh of someone high on life.
“Just as well we have the same favourite band,” she says. Her eyes sparkle as the laughter fades, and her hand snakes up my thigh under the table. “Let’s finish the night with a bang,” she whispers. “It’s a night for favourites, right? How about we look for another?”
“Another what?”
“Another fantasy to fulfil,” she tells me, and my cock twitches.
I know what she’s angling for. I know exactly what filthy thoughts are flitting behind those innocent eyes.
I know full well the meaning of the fucking pang in my gut, too.
Maybe it won’t feel the same with her there.
Maybe she will really make it… different.
“You want me to fuck another man?” My voice is just breath in her ear, but she shudders.
“Yes,” she whispers. “Please… if that’s what you… if you want to as well…”
I hate how much I want to, but that’s nothing new.
“I could make some calls,” I tell her. “Maybe Claude can hook me up at short notice.”
Her eyes sparkle. “Or I could go and have a word with the guy who’s been staring at you from the bar for the last twenty minutes straight.”
I scan the crowd, suddenly well aware that I’ve been totally oblivious to every other person in this building. And there he is.
He’s young. Way too fucking young.
Short cropped hair and piercing eyes. Casual, but not too casual. Jeans and a shirt.
He doesn’t look away when I meet his eyes.
“You like him?” I ask her and she nods.
“He’s cute, right?”
“Cute for me or cute for you?”
She squeezes my thigh. “You’re the only man I’m interested in.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Is that so?”
She nods. “That’s so.”
I hold the guy’s stare until he looks away with a smile. Yeah, he’s fucking up for it.
“He’s young,” I say.
“Legal though. I saw them take his ID at the bar.”
She’s an observant little minx. Law school really would suit her well.
“You want me to go ask him?” She’s smiling, squirming in her seat, and this is a whole new side of her, one that makes my balls fucking tighten.
I shake my head. “I’ll handle it.”
She looks taken aback.
I raise an eyebrow. “You think I’ve never propositioned a guy before?”
She squeezes aside to let me pass, and I angle her face up to mine for a kiss as I go. My eyes meet his as I leave her, and seeing me with Amy does little to dent his interest.
So far so fucking good.
He clears a spot at the bar for me as I make my way over, and he’s taller than I expect up close. He smells fresh. He smells like he wants my cock in his ass.
“I’m Dean,” he says.
I take out a twenty from my wallet to pay for his drink.
“The name’s Ted,” I say.
Melissa
I can hardly watch. My knees are shaking under the table as Alexander pays for Dean’s drink at the bar.
My heart is a panicked mess as they talk.
I force a smile as Alexander looks in my direction. His mouth is by Dean’s ear, and I wish to God I knew what he was saying.
I also wish Dean and I had sorted out a bail-out word, because I�
�d be so close to using it right now. So close to blowing this whole crazy thing off.
Downing my wine doesn’t make the nerves any easier. I can hardly sit still as Alexander brings me another and brings Dean along with him.
“Amy, this is Dean,” he tells me, and I’m sure my smile is fake enough to cringe as I say hello. “Dean’s coming back with us,” Alexander tells me, and my stomach drops through the floor.
I grip his hand under the table and he runs a thumb across my knuckles.
My silly fantasies about this evening were ridiculous, I know that now.
This is Dean. My friend Dean. Pretending to be some random in some London pub in order to take Alexander’s dick up his ass.
But he doesn’t need to, because Alexander said all he needed to say already. He’s asked me to go away with him, and I’m still reeling. I need a way out of this hole I’m in, not a sure way of digging it all the deeper.
I’m digging it way too deep.
It’s in Dean’s eyes as he stares at Alexander. It’s in the way I know he must be so nervous. The way I know he must be as terrified as I am of blowing our cover.
“We should drink up,” Alexander says and my heart pounds.
Dean drinks up, downs his beer in one.
I have to take mine back in three long swigs, and my legs feel bandy as Alexander takes my hand and leads me out of this place. I can barely speak as we leave the pub with Dean in tow.
Alexander pulls me into the doorway of the very first hotel we pass. It’s nothing special, nothing like Delaney’s, and that makes it seem so much more real somehow. Three of us in some regular hotel room, where the man I adore is going to pound my best friend’s ass.
I can’t believe I set this up.
I can’t believe this is really happening.
“I’ll get us a room,” Alexander says, and I’m left with Dean as he heads on in.
“You can go,” I hiss. “This was a crazy idea, I’m sorry.”
“Too fucking late for that,” Dean hisses back. “It’s gonna look real fucking suss if I suddenly make a fucking dash for it.”
Alexander beckons us inside and I take a breath.
“You want to do this?” I ask before we go.
Dean looks at Alexander and his eyes darken. “Yeah, I wanna do this.”
Fuck.
“He’s rough,” I say, like he doesn’t know that already, but he isn’t even listening, he’s already swinging the door open.
I feel like a prostitute all over again as we head up to the second floor. I pretend it’s taking the stairs in my heels that leaves me breathless, but that’s not the half of it. I’m on the edge of panic. My ears are ringing and my head feels light as Alexander finds our room and opens the door.
Dean brushes past him on the way in, and Alexander grabs my arm before I can join him.
“Are you alright?”
I nod. Smile. “Sure.”
“Don’t want to call this off?”
I look into the hotel room and Dean’s already perched on the bed.
He wants this.
They both do.
I shake my head. “No,” I say. “I don’t want to call this off.”
He closes the door behind us, and the click of the lock sends shivers down my spine.
Alexander
My delicious little Amy has underestimated me.
That’s no real surprise, she simply has no comprehension of how astute I have to be in my line of work. My entire career has hinged on my ability to read people – the things they don’t want to tell me, the subtle little inferences of their body language, the little facts between their lines.
I wasn’t sure, not until we left the tavern.
I couldn’t call it for certain until I watched them outside as I went to book us a room.
Dean, whatever his real name is, is no stranger to my beautiful Amy. They’ve met before. I’d venture as far as to say they’re pretty well acquainted.
Which leaves me with a dilemma – to call them out and put an end to this dance, or push them as far as they’ll go to maintain their cover.
They don’t call me the puppet master without good reason.
I keep my mouth firmly shut as I lock that hotel room door behind me.
The minibar is a poor show compared to the one at Delaney’s. A couple of standard bottled spirits, some mineral water and some single glass-sized bottles of wine.
I pour a glass each for the two of them, and revert to mineral water.
“Amy has a fantasy,” I begin. “She wants to see me fuck another man, as I’m sure you’ve well gathered by now.”
Dean nods, takes his wine with a thanks.
Amy flashes me a smile that’s way too bright, then perches herself on the bed alongside him. Their shoulders are tense and rigid, the space between them a whole gulf of fucking awkwardness.
“The thing is,” I say to the pair of them. “I’ve a fantasy of my own.”
Oh the sweet delight as their eyes widen.
“A fantasy?” Amy asks.
I nod. “I hope we can all get what we’re looking for from this evening.”
I take a sip of water and neither of them says a word.
It’s Dean I hone in on first, I shoot him a smile that conveys nothing but that of a friendly stranger looking to get his rocks off. “I want you to fuck my girlfriend,” I tell him.
Amy squirms so hard she splashes wine onto her dress. “You didn’t say…” she begins but I shrug to cut her off.
“Another surprise,” I tell her. “I wanted it to be a surprise.” My laugh is low and loaded. “After all, you chose him.”
“But I…”
I close the distance and tip her face to mine. “I’ll fuck a stranger for you, you’ll fuck a stranger for me. I think that’s a fair exchange.”
Her pretty eyes are full of horror.
“He’s cute, right?” I mimic. “You said so yourself.”
“But I wasn’t…”
I turn my attention to the guy whose ass I’m going to pound. “You want both of us, of course. That’s why you came here.”
The kid is out of his depth. He doesn’t know where to fucking look. “I’m, uh… I thought this was a guy thing…”
“Oh, it will be,” I tell him. “Just as soon I’ve watched you fuck Amy.” I slap his shoulder. “I was her very first, you know. Offering her the experience of another man’s cock is the very least I can do. Variety is the spice of life, don’t they say?”
Amy leans towards me, reaches out a hand for mine. “I don’t need another man,” she says. “This is all about you.”
I drop to my knees to meet her eye to eye. “Indulge me. Call it another of my guilty pleasures.”
She can barely swallow. She looks petrified.
“No hard limits, remember?” I prompt, and I feel like an utter cunt, but I don’t care.
The look of pain in her eyes as she realises she’s still technically on the clock almost makes me change my mind. Almost.
I turn to Dean. “She’s got a gorgeous pussy, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the experience.”
“I’m gay,” he says, as though that matters shit to me right now.
I shrug. “I’m sure we’ll be able to get you hard. Don’t worry about a thing.”
But he is worried. He’s so fucking worried that their pathetic little front shrivels to nothing. They stare at each other in horror, and the cards are all stacked. I’m going to push this as far as it’ll fucking go.
“Don’t be shy,” I tell them. “We’re all strangers here. Just one crazy night, for the memories.”
I tug my tie loose and drape it over a chair, my jacket too.
I carefully unfasten my cufflinks and roll my sleeves up as though I’m preparing for hard labour, and Dean’s eyes widen, wondering what the fuck I’m planning.
“He’s gay,” Amy blusters. “We should find someone who isn’t… for me… if that’s what you want…”
I shake my
head. “Right here, right now,” I insist. “I’ll give him a helping hand to get him nice and hard for you.”
She visibly flinches, and so does he.
“Is something wrong?” I ask. “You two seem… awkward.”
Amy tells me she’s good, so does Dean, and their fate is sealed.
I finish up my mineral water and take a seat on the bed between them. I pull them back by their shoulders, urging them to recline alongside me while I unbutton my shirt. You could cut the tension with a fucking knife.
I kiss Amy first. I kiss her so hard she squeaks into my mouth. I palm her pretty tits and tweak her nipple until she moans, and then my hand moves across to Dean.
I slide my fingers up his thigh until I feel the bulge of his groin. I grip him through the denim, my tongue still deep in Amy’s mouth as I feel him stiffen.
His breath is ragged as I break away from Amy and land my mouth on his. He’s hard as I rub his dick through his jeans, and so am I.
“Have you ever been with a man before?” I ask him, and he shakes his head. I thought as much. “How about a girl? Have you ever been with a girl?”
He shakes his head again.
I suck his bottom lip until he groans, making light work of his shirt buttons. His bare chest is firm and smooth, he shivers as I pinch his nipple.
“You’re going to fuck my girlfriend,” I grunt as I unbuckle his belt. I pop the button and tug his cock free. He pulses in my grip. “That’s it,” I tell him. “Nice and fucking hard for me.”
I can hear Amy’s shallow breathing. I can imagine her open mouth.
I reach for her without breaking free from Dean. My tongue is soft and wet across his lips, dipping inside as he moans for me.
I jerk his fucking cock as I switch to kiss Amy. I yank down her dress to expose those ripe little tits knowing full well she’s probably beside herself at the thought I’m going to make her go through with this. It doesn’t make me stop.
I’m still jerking Dean’s cock as I take Amy by the hair and guide her face to his. She murmurs under her breath, her mouth closed tight.
“Kiss him,” I tell her.
He grunts as I squeeze his dick.
Their lips touch but stay closed and Amy’s sweet face is little more than a grimace.
“Fucking kiss him,” I tell her, and I feel a perverted thrill as she does.