Brenda hated to admit that she did like some of them. The songs about America and Daddy made her cry every time. But exes in Texas she could take or leave. Traveling down the empty roads, she found her foot pressing a little harder on the accelerator. She wanted to get to the rink, not only to get out of the cold, but to see what was going to happen.
Her body ached to stretch and move and glide over the ice. For the past several weeks, she’d felt like she forgot something all the time. She’d check her keys, her wallet, and realize that every time she’d left her house before the accident, she was carrying her skates and duffle bag. When she left the house without them, it was like she’d left a piece of her behind. But not today. Today she felt whole.
Meanwhile, coming from the opposite side of town in another car heading for the skating rink, Scott tried to stay calm. He didn’t like the fact that Pamela hadn’t told Brenda he was going to be her new skating partner. He understood why. Had she told her first, Brenda would have stomped off in a huff. She might have tried to recruit another trainer—one who couldn’t care less about her injury. This way, Pamela could hold Brenda to her word. And if there was one thing Scott knew about Brenda, it was that her word was as good as a written contract. She’d never break a promise she’d made to someone, no matter if it was a terrible inconvenience or burden to her. She was amazing that way.
Yup, her word was true. Like when she’d told Scott she’d never forgive him for leaving her the way he did, boy, she meant it. She never went back on that either. She held to that promise like a drowning man to a life preserver. It ate him up inside to know this. Maybe, if she didn’t stomp off the ice vowing never to speak to him or Pamela again, this would be an opportunity for some healing. Maybe she’d open up just enough for Scott to get a foot in the door. Maybe. He hoped. Every time he thought of seeing her smile at him, hearing her talk to him without all the sarcasm and quick answers, he felt a jump in his chest.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to wait on Brenda, Scott,” his sister had said as they sat together the night before in his apartment. Joyce had stopped by after work and offered to buy some fast food for her little brother, whom, she teased, had no one to look out for him. They brought home a couple of burgers and some fries and were enjoying them on the floor in his small living room space, having a heart-to-heart.
“I love her, too, and wish things could have been different between the two of you, but she barely talks to you. Believe me when I say that the last thing you want is a spouse who doesn’t really have time for you.”
Scott stopped in mid-bite of his sandwich.
“That sounds like a warning. Are you and Ryan having problems?”
Joyce had been married to Ryan for almost seven years. They had two beautiful daughters and a nice home in the quiet suburb of Evergreen Park that was about an hour from Colorado Springs.
Joyce looked off into the distance and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. Work is busy, and Ryan has been putting in a lot of long hours lately.” Her gaze fell to the floor. She didn’t cry. With all the things she saw at her job, it took something especially tragic to jar any tears loose. Instead, she seemed to shrink before Scott’s eyes. She got smaller, weaker, maybe even a bit transparent, like part of her wasn’t really there.
“Has he said anything to you?”
Joyce played with her fries, moving them around the tinfoil wrapping she’d spread open on the floor, and shook her head no.
Scott leaned his back against the easy chair he was seated in front of. “Well, if he hasn’t said anything ...” He raised his eyebrows innocently.
“I don’t know, Scotty. I just have a gut feeling, you know? Something isn’t right. The truth is that things haven’t been right for a long time.”
“How long is a long time?”
“Over a year,” she said, letting out a deep breath. “I mean, I always put in a lot of hours. I brought work home with me sometimes, but I always made a point never to let it get in the way of the girls or Ryan. Dinners were always ready. The laundry was always done. The house was clean and so were the girls. We had family game nights, and Ryan and I had date nights. I thought we’d settled into a nice routine. But then it seemed like Ryan started to have better things to do at work than come home at his usual time. It’s gotten so that I’m handling the girls almost all the time by myself while he’s out.”
“Where does he go?”
“He’s got meetings and golf outings and trials to prepare for. Briefs to write. All these things he did before; it’s just that now he seems to want to do them more than be with us.”
Scott remembered when he found out his sister was marrying a lawyer. He couldn’t wait until his father called to tell him that he wouldn’t have to worry about her. She’d found a really nice guy with a good, solid job and a good head on his shoulders. Scott liked Ryan. They may not have been as close as brothers, but he could talk to the man and have a decent conversation. Ryan never seemed to be anything other than loving to Joyce. And he saw how he acted with his daughters. There was no question there that he loved them. At least, that was how it seemed just a few months earlier when Scott had gone to visit for Christmas.
“He’s mad all the time. He yells at me if I forget something from the grocery store or if the computer gets left on in his office. Stupid little things—like being human, for example.” Scott knew her sarcasm was meant to hide her feelings.
“Do you suspect ...?” He wasn’t sure how to say what he was thinking.
“Another woman? Anything is possible.” She shrugged again. “I’m not too proud to think that isn’t a real possibility. But I’m not going to go digging for it. He’s got to be the one to come clean.”
“What do you mean? Don’t you want to know?”
“Know what? That my husband is acting like a jerk and someone or something is the cause of it? I already know that. I’m not going to become one of those talk show women who whine and cry as they snoop through phone records and credit card receipts and emails. I need just to confront him and ask.” She shook her head. “The problem is when? I don’t want to do it with the girls around, and they’re always around. The poor little angels don’t need to see or hear anything this grown up.”
“Well, then let me help. Bring them over. You know they’d love to spend the night at Uncle Scotty’s house. We’ll do arts and crafts. Eat pizza. Stay up late watching old black-and-white movies. I’ll even take them for a spin on the ice. How cool will I be in their eyes? I’ll be super cool,” Scott said, pretending to polish his nails on his vest.
“I don’t know. They aren’t babies anymore. It won’t be like the last time you watched them at our house.” Joyce was already making excuses why she couldn’t let the girls go. Scott was well aware she was an overprotective mother, to say the least. But, with her line of work, there wasn’t a soul alive that could blame her.
“You mean the last time I answered the phone half a million times to reassure you that they were fine, sleeping, eating, pooping, whatever they were doing safely and happily with their Uncle Scotty? I should hope it isn’t like that. Come on, Joyce.” Scott shifted on the floor to stretch his legs and reach for the fries his sister wasn’t eating. “If you need time to talk to Ryan, then take it. We’re just talking about overnight. I promise I won’t take the girls to sign up for the Peace Corps. We’re talking twenty-four short hours.”
Joyce smiled a little as she picked at the carpet. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll say yes to that and make it within the next week or two if you come to dinner on my movie night with the girls.”
“Why would I want to come to that?” he asked, suddenly feeling he might have just been played.
“Because I have some really sweet, really single friends that I think you’d really like. It’s time you started getting back to the business of living.”
“I don’t know, Joyce. It’s just that—”
“What? It’s too soon? Five years have gone by, and I think
you went out for coffee with one girl in all that time.”
“You don’t understand, Joyce. I know you’re trying to help, but I don’t want anyone else but Brenda.”
“How do you know? You’ve never even tried.” Joyce looked at Scott with a worried, motherly expression. “Aren’t you afraid of being alone the rest of your life?”
“No,” he said calmly. “But I’d be terrified of being with the wrong person for the rest of my life.” Joyce sat for a second studying her brother’s face.
Scott knew his sister liked Brenda. They had a good bit in common, and had the marriage actually taken place, he was confident that Joyce and Brenda would have become like sisters. He knew it had been hard and painful for Joyce to take his side so completely when the wedding didn’t happen. Joyce knew the situation but had stayed home due to her daughters being babies and Ryan not knowing the whole story of their father’s situation.
He also knew Brenda avoided Joyce now, too. If their paths happened to cross during the holidays or when Scott had a student in a competition of some kind, all Joyce would get was a cool smile from Brenda before she looked away.
Scott understood Brenda’s behavior. She had every right to be angry and, it was just like the old adage, “We don’t just marry the person, we marry the whole family.” If a wedding doesn’t happen, we aren’t just unhappy with the person but with their whole family.
Scott felt the sting of having hurt Brenda as if it had happened yesterday instead of years ago. He was frozen, stuck under Brenda’s spell, whether she knew it or not. Maybe there was something to be said about a love that strong.
But no matter how much Joyce tried to convince him, it was no use. She wasn’t going to get through to her little brother this way. He was set in his ways and clearly set on Brenda. So, she appealed to his animal instincts.
“Well, you still have to eat. We’re having Chinese food. I’ll make sure there are extra egg rolls if you come. As much as you can put away down that maw of yours.”
The mention of Chinese food was all it took for Scott to weaken. He looked at Joyce through squinted eyes and grinned. “Okay, but it’s only for the food. Do not tell any of your friends that I’m single, available, desperate, or any other descriptive word to make me out as lonely and depressed. I’m neither one of those things, thank you very much.”
“It’s a deal. I’ll see you next Thursday around six o’clock. And we can make a plan for you to watch the girls after that.”
Scott nodded, taking another handful of his sister’s fries and shoveling them into his mouth. “Hey,” he said, chewing and trying to speak at the same time, “when are you going to sign the girls up for skating lessons with me? I’m just waiting to teach them. You know they’ll be teacher’s pet. Pets. I’ll give you a real break on the fee.”
Joyce smiled and shook her head no. “I don’t want them to get hurt.”
“They aren’t going to get hurt. I’m not going to be tossing them up in the air or pitting them against my hockey players.”
“I should hope not.”
“Let me just say that you’re really killing my business.”
“What?” Joyce looked at her brother as if he were crazy. “No, I am not!”
Scott nodded as she looked at him completely puzzled. “Everyone knows I have a sister with two young girls. How does it look that she doesn’t even trust me to teach them how to balance on the ice?”
Joyce started to laugh.
“I’m not going to that Scott Porter fellow. His own sister won’t even let him near her children. What does that tell you?” he said in his best southern-belle accent. “He probably listens to that rock-and-roll music and goes to drive-ins with girls.”
By now, Joyce was really laughing. “Well, they’re right about that first part,” she teased back, laughing hysterically at her own joke.
Now it was Scott’s turn to laugh.
And he laughed out loud in the car on his way to the rink, recalling his sister’s comments. He was happy. He couldn’t help it. He had a chance to be with Brenda again, and he wasn’t going to blow it. She had a heart, and although she might have built a wall around it and promised herself she’d never talk to him again, he wasn’t going to give up. Not yet. Not when God had placed this second chance right in front of him, almost with a ribbon tied around it.
It was sneaky the way he was just going to appear, and Brenda would either have to take him or leave him as her skating partner. It wasn’t ideal. It was where he had to start from, but at least it was a start.
He held his breath and said a quick prayer—not just for himself but his sister and Brenda. They both needed to feel the love of God around them to give them courage and confidence. And he said a quick prayer for his brother-in-law, who he was afraid might have been lost and needed guidance home.
Chapter 3
Only Pamela and the Zamboni driver were at the rink when Brenda came through the door. Strutting in with her skates over her shoulder and her bag in her hand, Brenda smiled and waved to both of them as she entered the skaters’ corral and took a seat. Slipping into her skates, she tightened them snuggly around her ankles and began to stretch her muscles. Deep down, she secretly hoped that maybe once she hit the ice, Pamela would see how stable and strong she was. She’d see that even a year off didn’t have much of an impact on her ability, and she could pick up right where she left off. No partner necessary. Stranger things had happened. Perhaps Brenda would find that after all the therapy and rest, she was actually stronger than she was before, not weaker.
She finished stretching, took a couple of deep breaths, stood up, and went to the ice. Gingerly, she took her first step onto the frozen surface and glided effortlessly out to the middle of the rink.
It felt weird. Brenda wasn’t prepared for that. It was like trying to use your hand after it’s fallen asleep and it tingles and protests and fights you for a few seconds before it welcomes the pumping blood back into it again. The blades beneath her feet carried her across the ice as she made turns and simple spins. For a few moments, Brenda really thought nothing had changed. Everything in front of her looked the way it was supposed to. But when she gained speed and coasted to the farthest edges of the rink, her peripheral vision tricked her. “Whoa!” she shouted to herself when the side wall appeared all of a sudden dangerously closer than she’d thought it was. Her voice echoed, and when she looked up, she saw Pamela watching her.
Okay, just a minor setback. Not the end of the world. A little practice and that can be overcome. Sure. Totally. But Brenda’s own thoughts betrayed her. Deep down, she thought—for just a split second—that if she’d had someone to give her a signal she was getting close, she could have adjusted her steps.
Her eyes instinctively went to Pamela, who’d continued talking with the Zamboni driver but was turned in her direction. His name was Hank or Harold. Something with an “h,” Brenda knew, but couldn’t quite remember at the moment. Shaking off her concerns, she maneuvered herself into the middle of the ring. A few simple lunges that felt good in her thighs, a backwards crossover to gain a little speed ... whoa ... not too fast ... a spiral that went pretty smooth and a quick bunny hop ... whoa ... balance ... balance.
Again her eyes bounced to Pamela, who’d seen everything. Feeling her cheeks heat up just a little, she smiled and waved and made her way over to the edge of the rink where Pamela was standing.
“Good morning,” Pamela shouted.
“Looking pretty good out there, Brenda!”
“Thanks, Henry!” Henry, that was his name. “I’m feeling a little rusty. But it feels good to be back.”
Pamela looked at Brenda, and then plopped down on the floor. She began to put her own ice skates on as she spoke. “Okay, I saw you get a little close to the wall, and your balance is a little shaky.”
“I think that’s just first-day jitters,” Brenda offered hopefully.
Pamela peeked up at her. “Uh huh. Your partner has been briefed on your con
dition, and we’ve discussed a plan that you’ll be brought in on today.”
Nodding, Brenda resisted the knot she felt forming in her gut. She was used to being told everything first. This consultation with her partner before she even started made her feel like a student sitting outside the principal’s office while her mother was inside getting an earful.
“We weren’t talking about you, Brenda. We were discussing a strategy. This is lesson one for you, and it will probably be the hardest thing you learn. You’re going to have to trust another person.” Pamela stood up and stepped onto the ice. “You’ve relied on yourself all these years to get the moves right. Now, all that’s going to change.” Pamela smiled as if this was something Brenda should be excited about.
In fact, Brenda was annoyed. “Well, when is he supposed to get here?”
“He should be here any minute. What I plan on you guys doing is mirroring each other for the whole time. This is your first time back on the ice since your accident. I’m not going to give you any more time to skate alone. You’re going to relearn everything with your partner.”
From behind them came the call of a familiar voice. “Good morning! Is it cold enough out there? Of all days for the heater to give out in my car.”
It was Scott.
“You’re right on time. Take a few minutes to get warmed up, and we can begin.” Pamela glanced at Brenda, who was expressionless. She just stood there looking at Scott, not even realizing she was holding her breath. Letting it out her nose, it sounded like a hiss.
“Why didn’t you tell me Scott was going to be my partner?” Her voice was low, but her words were sharp.
“Because I didn’t. It isn’t up to you to choose who you’re partnered with, Brenda. It’s up to me. You’ve worked with Scott before. He knows your style. He knows your strengths and weaknesses. He’s the one guy who’ll be looking out for you, and that’s what you need. If you let yourself, you’ll advance with him.”
Heart of a Champion Page 3