by Nicety
“Braze. B! Wake up.”
“Huh, uh, oh. What?”
“I’m back.”
“Damn. It sure took you long enough.” Braze retorted as she wiped the smidgen of drool still dripping down her chin.
“Yeah, told you I had business that I needed to handle. I just came from seeing the little man.”
“Oh yeah. What was he doing?”
“Sleepin’, you know, just chillin’. Messiah replied as he removed the body cross strap from his torso and placed the stuffed baby bag in the narrow pearl colored closet behind him. “I got you some clothes for you and the baby up in here.”
“You brought us new clothes?”
“Well I just wanted to be the one to buy him a new fit to come home in and then I realized you didn’t have anything either. It’s just some little stuff, ya know.” He chuckled modestly.
“Oh my God! My baby was thinking about us. I know we are going to love it baby, thank you.” Braze’s face lit up like a Ferris Wheel at night.
“Yeah. But I had to get the lil’ man something.” Messiah thumbed his nose as he sniffed.
“Oh, thanks babe! I wanna see him so bad but my fucking stitches hurt. They took him outta here because that nurse doped me up so good I wouldn’t have heard the building blow up if it did.”
“Oh yeah. Don’t be getting addicted to that mess.” Messiah said taking a seat in the leather chair over on the side of the bed as he peeked out of the window.
“Nigga, now how could I get addicted to that shit? It’s just medicine, baby. It ain’t like its heroine or something.”
“People get addicted off prescriptions everyday. Don’t act like you don’t know th—“
“Are you serious? Why the hell would I do that? I mean, I’ve got so much to look forward to right?”
“B., don’t start that shit again and don’t patronize me like I’m stupid or something.” The inflection in Messiah’s voice was becoming more intense.
“Don’t snap on me. I’m not fucking with you. I’m just saying I’m clean alright.”
“Naw you lucky MJ is clean. That’s what’s lucky.” Messiah snapped sarcastically.
“I don’t even want to talk about that shit anymore, baby. I want to talk about us.”
“Braze, there is no us. How many time do we have to go through this, fifteen or fifteen million?”
“Wha… But I thought that since we have MJ now that—“
“That what? That I would come running to you and want to start a family with you? It’s never going to happen, Braze. We have a baby, a son together. But that’s it!”
“I heard you, damn. You ain’t gotta holla.” Braze snarled turning her lip as far up as it would go. “I just thought that us being together would be as easy as breathing.”
“If you heard me then you sure as hell weren’t listening.” Messiah stood hovering over her bed.
“You know, why is it so hard for you to believe that you that we could be good together? We could really fucking have something, Meech. Why are you fightin’ it?” Braze asked with puppy dog eyes.
“You don’t even know me, B. You think you do but you don’t.”
“I know that you love to make your soup really hot then put ice cubes in it to cool it down. I know that you can’t start your day without a cup of coffee from your Keurig machine. I know that whenever you need encouragement or a shoulder to cry on you hop in my bed for comfort.” Braze snapped gritting her teeth with tears flowing down her face. “And I know that we loved each other enough to give each other a perfect beautiful little baby boy. Are you not willing to give him the family he deserves?”
Messiah lowered his head at her last remark feeling like it hit home. She knew MJ meant more to him than life itself and he was willing to do anything to make him happy. He turned hawking at her as if he wanted to slap the taste out of her mouth for trying to manipulate home. Playing mind games were not something that Messiah handled to well.
"He definitely deserves a family, B. But I'm just not sure if it should be this one."
"You killed my fucking sister, Meech. Don't you think you owe me that much?" Brazen lowered her head into her bosom speaking in a very dark and raspy, sinister voice.
"What? First of all, no I didn't and second of all you couldn't even stand her ass!"
"So what! She was still the only real family I had left."
"Look, Braze, I didn't come here to argue with you about shit. I came to see my son and to make sure you were straight. That's it. If you can't deal with us not being together in front of Mj I'll have him picked up everyday so I can see him. You ain't gotta even see me."
"Messiah that's not what I want. I...just forget it."
"That's the best thing you said since I've been sitting here." Messiah rubbed the stress out of his chin. "I'm out. Its getting late and I ain't even ate none today. I'll holla at you tomorrow."
"Yep." Braze crossed her arms as she looked away.
"Kiss my son for me when they bring him back." He said hitting the door.
"Kiss him yourself when you bring your ass back here." Brazen mumbled.
She was beyond furious. In her mind, that talk with Messiah went better than the one that had just happened. Her lips pouted like a three year old and her eyebrows curled over as she struggled to calm down from his words. His total disregard for the state of their relationship plagued her being. It annoyed her that her body was restricted to the hospital bed she was in. Messiah's absence from her and her son wouldn't make his heart grow fonder, that much was clear. Braze picked up the nurse’s buzzer pressing harder than ever.
“Yes?”
“Hi. Um, can you bring me my baby please? I would like to feed him.” She said biting her lip.
“Oh, sure! I’ll be in there in a minute.” The nurse answered back through the intercom.
Braze rolled her eyes trying to be patient but she knew that nurse did what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it. So it completely surprised her when the nurse came walking through her room door pushing MJ happily. She had stored quite a few bottles of unopened Enfamil under the baby bunker including diapers and wipes as well.
“Ok, Ms. Braze. I have set you up for the whole night so you are good to go.”
“What? What do you mean? I can leave now?” Braze exhaled anxiously.
“Uh no. I thought we talked about this earlier. No, hun you’re going to be here for at least another day or two just so that we can make sure that your stitches don’t get infected. Girl you can die from that.” The nurse said checking Braze’s IV.
“Two days? Ugh! I hate hospitals. They make you feel so helpless.”
“Girl, I’d rather be here sometimes. When you restin’, its like you’re on a vacation.” The nurse side eyed her as she headed for the door. “So if you need anything or any help throughout the night for the baby, you know what to do.”
Braze could care less about the fake smile the nurse shot at her before she left. She was more concerned with dealing with MJ for a whole night straight. Her inexperience with babies scared her even though she got the breast-feeding down packed. It would have been nice to have Messiah there to help her out and do things a father would do on the baby’s first night home. A single tear formed then slowly crept down her golden cheek realizing that not only was her pride hurt but also her soul as well. She reached over grabbing her cell phone out of the drawer of the nightstand.
“Hello. What you doing?”
“Shit. Drinking. The fuck you calling me for?”
“Oh. Um, Meech told me to call you when I was ready. He told me he called you and told you all about it.” Braze bit her lip, watching the room door. “He didn’t call you?”
“If he did I wouldn’t be asking you that question.”
“Hehe. Right. Well, um you supposed to come pick me up and take me to his house.”
“Huh? His house? Man, I know that nigga ain’t tell me know shit like that. I need to call this fool.”
“No! I mean, he told me that he would be busy and not answering his phone so he just wanted me to come.”
“Yeah. And the hospital releasing you that early? You just had the baby.”
“Yeah well, what can I say? I’m a fast healer. Anyway me and the baby are ready so are you on your way or what?” Braze paused allowing the awkward silence to fill the dead air. “I mean, I could just all Meech and tell him you can’t do it.”
“Naw, naw. I’ll be there in ten.”
“Okay. I’ll be waiting outside the main entrance.”
Once Braze hung up she maneuvered slowly out of bed being sure not to disrupt her stitches and scurried over to the closet. She leaned in briefly gazing down upon MJ’s angelic face. His whole life is sleeping. She thought as she whisked open the zipper on the brown and green Disney’s Mickey Mouse checkered baby bag. She pulled out a pair of pink Victoria Secret Pink jogging pants with matching tank and jacket. Her lips curled up feeling like a man who isn’t in love with a female is not going to buy her Victoria Secret anything. She knew he had some kind of love for her and just needed it busted open for him to admit it.
She slid off the hospital gown and slid the cotton panties the nurse’s provided to her earlier with a thick huge pad to soak up her bleeding. Then she dressed in her new outfit post haste. She didn’t want to wake MJ by putting on his clothes so she removed the clothes from the bag and put them in her jacket to resemble the pregnant belly she once adorned. Gently, Braze extracted the baby from the baby bunker and placed him inside of the bag only zipping it half way to allow air to seep in and out. The remaining milk, diapers and wipes she stuffed deep down in her makeshift belly to give it a little extra plumpness.
After she slipped the bag over her head and across her body smoothly, she snatched one of the receiving blankets and wrapped it around her head Ericka Badu style forming the round knot in the back so the hospital issue printed lines would not be visible. When she had collected everything, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and headed for the door. The nurse’s station was no less than a few feet away from her room door so she knew that at least of them would see her but she had hoped they wouldn’t recognize her. There was no time to peek around outside of the door, cause that was sure way of looking suspicious. Instead she clenched her cell in her hand and bolted out, speed walking like she was in a marathon heading straight for the elevators without looking back.
“Com’ on. Com’ on!” Braze snarled silently as she repeatedly beat the down button of the elevator.
She could hear the cackling of the nurses at the station and was certain none of them had seen her. She was careful to close the room door behind her and figured as long as no buzzing came from that room she would not be found out for hours. By then she would be long gone. On the bottom floor she raced towards the exit and prayed that Skid was out there so she wouldn’t have to wait long. Her phone began vibrating as she pushed through the revolving doors.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. I tried to call Meech and he ain’t answering and shit so I’m outside. I hope your ass for real on this shit, B. ‘Cause if you ain’t you know that’s your ass, right.” Skid asked.
Braze hung up the phone as she carefully removed MJ from the bag before she made it to Skid’s truck. She held him in her arms as if she had done so the entire time. She single-handedly removed the clothes and baby items from under her jacket and tossed them into the bag with ease. Knock. Knock. Her fingers tapped on the passenger side window softly as he popped the lock allowing her to climb in.
“Where the fuck you come from? I ain’t even see you come out.” He asked looking down at MJ. “I thought they was supposed to wheel you out or some shit.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever man. Just drive.”
Chapter 12
Motherhood?
“Hi, sir. Are you the father?”
“Uh, yes sir. I’m the father. Is everything okay?”
“Well, there was a lot of bleeding. Your wife is going to be just fine, though we’ve got her heavily sedated.” The doctor answered.
“And the baby?”
“Well, the baby is a bouncing young man.” He smiled holding out his hand.
“Man? I have a son? I HAVE A SON!” Danger yelled in excitement. “Yes!”
The medical staff looked at him, clapping and smiling for him as he raised his hand to thank them like he was the king of the castle. He extended his hand to oblige the doctor’s, shaking firmly. “Thanks doc. Can I see them?”
“Well the baby is still being tended to but they’ll bring him in her room in a few minutes. Like I said your wife is heavily sedated but you may see her.” The doctor held on to his hand not allowing him to walk off. “There are a couple of things though.”
“Well lay it on me doc. I need to know.”
“Since your wife was only seven months when she gave birth that does consider your baby to be a preemie. Which means he will have to remain in the hospital a little while longer than normal. Now it would be just until we can make sure his organs and everything are okay.”
“Most definitely. I mean, whatever we gotta do.”
The men shook again as Danger broke the link sprinted to Amy’s room. He entered looking down on her bobble head knowing that the medicine was definitely kicking in. She was just as beautiful as the day he met her so many years ago. Making her his wife would not only be the best thing for their family but also the right thing. He kneeled down beside her bed and took her hand in his giving it a gentle peck then wiping away any access wetness.
“Babe, from the moment I saw you, I knew you were the one. I loved you and I didn’t even know you and I love you still. I was a fool and a dummy. Could you ever forgive?” His words rolled of his tongue as if it were wet paint to a dry wall. “I guess what I’m trying to ask here is…will you marry me?”
The dark skinned nurse began blushing feeling as though his message could have been for her. It was said so beautifully and sincerely that she nearly said yes her damn self. She finished checking the monitors currently hooked up to Amy’s arms then slid her big boned body from around the side of her bed and walked over tapping Danger on the shoulder.
“After that kind of proposal, if she won’t I will.” She winked as she left the room smiling brightly.
Amy nodded around, grunting and moaning almost incoherently. She pulled together a few words but nothing that Danger picked up on right away. He was only paying attention and looking for one word to be said. Nothing else mattered to him except hearing the very thing he knew he needed to feel better about himself in this situation. It seemed as though if he had never had that argument with Amy she might never had gone into preterm labor and had the baby way too early. It was his fault and he had to make things right with her no matter what.
“So, what’ll you say babe? Will you marry a nigga or what?” Danger honestly waited for an answer.
Deep inside Amy heard every word that he was asking. She was in and out of it with the medicine doping her up and making her feel woozy but for the most part her hearing worked just fine. She had no intentions on answering him in her current state or giving him words that he might have misinterpreted. The truth was that after all of this she had no plans or desires to marry him anymore. Especially not after learning of his views on a woman’s role in his life and certainly not since the baby was dead. It was a sad thing to admit to herself but there was no denying that she was happy that the baby was dead and they could go their separate ways and move on with their lives. In her mind, she and he were through.
“Hey mommy and daddy or newlyweds, whatever you wanna be right now. I brought your little boy.” The nurse said dancing as she walked in the room. “Now this is a one time thing any other time you guys gotta go to the NICU to see him. But we wanted to give mom a look before she passed out.”
“Hey babe. Look. Look it’s our son. Its our boy.” Danger smiled.
“Our…b?”
“Yeah babe! He’s okay
. You did it babe! He’s okay.” Danger tried to get her to sit up but she wouldn’t budge.
Amy wished the medicine would kick in faster so she could imagine she dreamt everything he had just said. Her eyes wanted to bulge but they were too weak and heavy. She shook her head and waved her arms flagrantly pushing him away. He took the hint feeling like she need her rest and walked over to the incubator.
“Awe you should see him, babe. He’s just how I imagined a baby to be. He’s soft and gentle and tiny and… Can I hold him?” He asked looking up at the nurse.
“Well he’s got to stay in there and we want to give it a week or two to get his body fat and everything up so just be patient. You’ll be able to snuggle him and everything soon.” The nurse assured Danger. “Now say bye bye.”
“Bye bye lil’ dude. Daddy will see you soon.” Danger said waving as she wheeled the incubator back out of the door.
“Babe you should have seen him. He’s beautiful. I thought we were having a girl but we had a boy. Isn’t that great?”
“Mmmmm.” Amy mumbled angry.
“I’ll be right back babe. I’m just gonna call Meech real quick.” Danger said as he scurried out the door and down the hall. “Yo Meech. What up fool?”
“Sup bro. How’s ya girl?”
“Man I got a son kid!”
“Word? Me too dude!” Messiah smiled.
“Damn bro we got it in didn’t we? Shit, congrats my nigga.”
“Blessings to you too.”
“Shit where you at?”
“Man, I’m on my way to the shop to pick up Red then I’m gonna drop her off and head to the crib. Why wassup?”
“Awe okay. Nothing shit I was just trying to see if you wanted to stop through and blow one wit’ a nigga to celebrate, ya know.”
“Oh. Man dude I’m on somethin’ right now though. But I gotchu later though. Straight up.”
Danger had to admit his feelings were kind of hurt. He knew his brother like the back of his hand and knew when he was getting the cold shoulder. Part of him knew that the reason had to have been that shit with Alexis but another part of him wanted to believe that Messiah had gotten over that by now. They were not ones to hold grudges so he wondered why he was holding on to this one for dear life. He wanted to apologize to his brother for them millionth time. He wanted to explain to him that he tried so many times to break it off with her but she was so evil, so persistent, so controlling that he just could not seem to shake her. But he knew if he kept picking at that scab that eventually it would bleed.