“There must be something keeping him in Adayzjia,” she broke the silence, standing. Leeton looked at her sadly, as if he pitied her hopefulness, but she took a breath and went on, “You can go through Gates, can’t you?”
“Miss . . . Li . . . ”
“Liseli.”
“Liseli,” he sighed. “As much as we both wish differently . . . I doubt they made it to Adayzjia. I tried to stop them, but Alisiya was too driven.” He bowed his head. “I can only mourn for my daughter, but I owe you much for your loss—”
“Stop talking like that!” Liseli took a step forward. “Stop it. If Russ hasn’t come back it’s because he’s . . . he needs help over there. I’m sure he’s over there. And your daughter is too.” She crossed her arms. It was hard to read his expression; he seemed to only have one, and it didn’t really indicate what he was thinking, as far as she could tell. “If they’re in trouble, you could help. If you went through. With your dogs. And I want to come too.”
He regarded her for a moment, as if weighing her words. She noticed then that his eyes were like Alisiya’s, blue but rarely the same shade from one moment to the next. All the expression that was not on his face seemed trapped in the colors of his eyes. They were dark, at the moment. “It would not be wise to try the Gate. If they died attempting it . . . we would simply die after them.”
“If Russ is dead you owe me that much,” Liseli said harshly, and he lifted his head back slightly, surveying her as if she were a curious sight. She drew back, clenching her fists and trying to keep her voice under control. “But what if he isn’t? What if he’s in some kind of danger over there? That we could do something about? If you can possibly save him from the trouble Alisiya’s caused, you should. If there is the slightest possibility of doing something we should do it.”
“You are willing to risk death to find out if there is a slim possibility that perhaps he is alive and in need of help?” Leeton’s voice was ironic, as if he seriously doubted she would.
“Yes,” she answered immediately, flashing her eyes at him with impatience.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
She shook her head. “I will not live the rest of my life wondering if I could have done something, but didn’t, on top of everything else I have to . . . to regret. If you think the thought of dying bothers me you have no idea where I’ve been,” she said bitterly. “I think you’re the one who’s not willing to risk it.”
“I,” he laughed shortly. “My only justification for living disappeared through that Gate.”
“Then you should want to find her as bad as I want Russ,” Liseli said. “Then we should go.”
“Give it more time.” Leeton turned around abruptly and walked down the line of dogs. “It has been no more than half an hour. If he just needed to rest before trying to come back, we would be making an unnecessary sacrifice. There could be no real danger on the other side.”
Liseli expelled her breath impatiently. She didn’t want to wait; every minute could be ticking away from Russ’s life. “How much longer?” she snapped. “We could just be wasting time.”
“Longer,” Leeton answered with infuriating vagueness. “It has really been no time at all.”
Chapter 25 ~ Gates, part 3
Russ woke to the feeling of a hand brushing lightly at his hair, smoothing it back from his forehead. “Liseli?” he asked, hopefully, not knowing where he was or remembering what had happened last. He opened his eyes a little, squinting into painful brightness.
“No, me,” said Alisiya, drawing her hand back. He lifted his head to peer at her, but dropped it back down again when the movement trigged a stab of pain in his neck. His head was throbbing, too. If he didn’t know better he’d have thought he had a monster hangover.
“What’re you still doing here?” he moaned, rubbing his hands down over his face. “I thought you’d be out frolicking in your precious Adayzjia.”
“One doesn’t ‘frolic’ in Adayzjia,” Alisiya replied. “And I am in no rush to leave you.” He felt her fingers gently on the side of his head. “You have a nasty lump here from—”
“Don’t—” he grabbed her wrist, holding her hand away from him, “—touch me.” He let go and she drew away.
Russ pulled himself into a sitting position, wincing at the pain that ached in every muscle. He looked around. The light wasn’t really that bright — it was a dingy sunlight shining through clouds. It showed him a narrow alleyway between massive stone buildings. The ground was stone, covered in dirt and grime, with litter strewn around. As he breathed in he smelled something familiar, that he’d forgotten, and after a moment realized it must be pollution. Or something like that . . . . He had been lying on some dirty rags and bits of animal skins that were piled together in the back of the alley, by a metal fence overgrown with climbing weeds.
He looked at Alisiya. She was kneeling next to him, her arms crossed, frowning slightly. “I moved you,” she said to his questioning look. “I tried to make you as comfortable as I could. I cleaned the vomit off of your face for you. I’ve stayed by you until you were conscious again.”
“How long have I been out?” he asked, sidestepping whatever point he feared she was getting at.
“Not long. A few minutes.” She shrugged. “You had been carrying me, I gather, because after we fell into the cave the first thing I can remember is you dropping me, here.”
“You were kind of like a zombie,” he said. “So I had to drag you around.”
She smiled a half-smile at the corner of her mouth. “Thank you.”
“Whatever.” He looked away. The way her eyes were lightening to a soft blue was kind of unsettling.
“I suppose you could have done anything. Killed me, left me there,” Alisiya went on. “I had not realized I would be so like ‘a zombie’ in the Gate. It would have given me pause to know I would become helpless. I thank you for not taking advantage of my state to harm me or desert me.”
“Well, happy day,” Russ muttered. “Where is the Gate now? I don’t see it . . . .”
“I am not sure.” She looked around. “Over there—” she pointed to a spot only a few feet away, “—is where you dropped me and fell. Do you see where you vomited, over—”
“Yeah, I see it.” He rolled his eyes. He still felt a little dizzy, but it was a numb sort, not exactly nauseating. He started to get up unsteadily.
Alisiya put a hand on his arm. “You shouldn’t try going back, you’re far too weak.”
“I said don’t touch me.” He jerked away. “I’m just gonna look.”
He staggered over to the mark of blood and spittle on the ground, and stood looking at the wall ahead of him. It was overgrown with the same vines that clogged the metal fence, but he saw an old, ruined doorway of crumbling stones before him. There was no door in it anymore, if there ever had been, and all he could see was blackness inside. He supposed maybe he was too weak at the moment to see the light from the Gate playing out of the edges of the world, and glanced back at Alisiya. She had stood, and when he looked at her she stepped toward him.
“What kind of a world do you come from?” she asked, stopping short when he retreated to the side. “I am curious.”
“Why?” He bristled.
“Well—” She tilted her head to the side, trying to be nonchalant, but it didn’t fool him. He was careful to keep a distance between them. “I simply wonder if it is anything like this one.”
“I dunno.” He shrugged one shoulder, then crossed his arms over his chest. He leaned against the wall next to the doorway, because even standing was getting to be a bit much for him. “It’s big. There’s lots of different kinds of places. Looks like we’re in a city right now, but I don’t plan on sticking around to find anything more out.”
“It is the city of Azmanval,” Alisiya supplied. He looked at her sidelong, and she smiled. “My mother’s writings, the things my father has told me — of course I know where we are. Azmanval is where my mother’s fam
ily lived, it is the capital of Adayzjia, named after the sun god, Azmanvalli. The Byzaukyn rule here, with their allies, the Ricallyn. Or at least that is how it used to be.”
“Nice.”
“Passing through the Gate has put you in a very bad mood,” Alisiya said archly. She took another couple of steps toward him, and he didn’t move fast enough to get away before she was right in front of him, too close for comfort. “I am sorry I had to threaten Liseli—” she shook her head, “—but it was the only way to make you take me through.”
“Good for you.” He flattened himself against the wall. “And I guess you’re sorry you had to kill Eliasha, and Currun, and set your damn dogs on me, and oh yeah, there was that bit where you hypnotized me and made me run out and get my ass kicked by your dad’s guards. All just ’cause it was the ‘only way.’ Gee. Am I forgetting something?”
“Oh yes.” She smiled, but her eyes darkened. “There was Ilia; I told her to drink from the River, and I promised her that she and her foolish husband would be the ones to overthrow my father. I told her that just so they would provoke him to kill them. I wanted to know how much he really cared about his kingship, and how much love he had left for the Erykumyn. And then, of course, there have been all the people I have told the River to kill over the years, those foolish ones who have tried to drink from it without my permission. But even before that, there were the many people I caught unawares the day I called the waters back to life. Hundreds of people died that day, before they realized what was poisoning them.” Her eyes flashed. “Oh yes. I am the monster. Let’s not stop there, let us not forget that my mother killed herself rather than bring me into the world.”
“Rough,” he snapped. “I’d feel sorry about that, except you do such a fuckin’ good job of it yourself. And you can back up a bit, okay, ’cause you’re close enough.”
Suddenly she stepped closer, pushing herself up against him and grabbing a handful of his hair, pinning his head against the wall. He tried to escape to the side, but felt her control over him and couldn’t move. “You’re just a boy,” she said, looking into his eyes with her face only inches away. “A silly boy. But in all ninety years of my life, do you know, I have never had a boy or a man for myself? Of course not, my father kept me locked away. And every time I tried to escape, there was no time for pleasure, I was too busy running. Oh, I tried seducing my guards from time to time, just like I used to make them let me go free, but Father was so very good at knowing when I was doing something he didn’t like, that I never could manage it. Not enough time; I had to be going if I got the chance. Can you imagine, I’m sure you can’t, all the human things I’ve never gotten to do because I’m the monster that must be kept locked away?”
Russ was terrified by his paralysis, the look in her eyes, and the direction of her words, but tried not to show it. “Let me go. I am not gonna fuck you, you damn freak.” He glowered with all his might.
She laughed, and kissed him. She kissed him for a very long time, thrusting her tongue between his lips and pressing his body into the wall. The pain in his head exploded as she dug her fingers into his scalp and pulled him to her. He couldn’t move, or shove her away, or even bite down on her tongue. He’d never thought a kiss could be so horrible.
Alisiya finally drew back, a long string of saliva suspended between their mouths. She laughed and brushed it away, wiping at her lips with the back of her left hand, still holding his hair tightly in her right. Then suddenly she struck him, slapping him across the cheek, snapping his head to side. She let go of his hair with a twist, and stepped back. “That—” she pointed at him, “—was for calling me a freak.”
As soon as she freed him, his legs gave out and he slid down to the ground. He wiped off his face with his sleeve. He’d never felt so ashamed and angry at the same time, and didn’t know what to say. “Fuck you” seemed like an unfortunate choice of words, but it was all he could think of, so he remained silent.
“Don’t worry,” she said scornfully. “I am not going to rape you, though I could. I could make your body do anything and have my way with it, I really could. But I’m in Adayzjia now, no more Father to worry about, there are plenty of men who I am sure would bed me willingly. I don’t need you, after all you are only a boy. And your mouth tastes like something died inside of it.”
“Bitch.”
“Ha.” She turned away, pacing down the alley. “You could be a little grateful; I could have left you alone here, face down in your own fluids, waiting for who-knows-what to come by.”
“You’re just scared to go out there,” Russ shot back, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. “I’d like to see you try to get laid by some jerk; hey, maybe you’ll get group ‘laid’ and left for dead! I mean, they haven’t ever drunk from your precious River. But you’ve already thought of that, that’s why you’re scared. Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.”
She frowned over her shoulder at him, and he braced for some kind of attack, but she just said, “You are a far cry from a genius, and not a nice boy at all, I have no idea what Liseli sees in you, besides your nice young body, perhaps. Ha.”
“Just shut the hell up.” He looked away. The empty doorway next to him was inviting at the moment, the darkness seemed without end, he could disappear into the shadows and leave Alisiya here, in her grimy world. If only he could see the Gate.
Alisiya wouldn’t shut the hell up. “I am afraid of nothing!” Her voice rose, making him cringe. “I fear no man; not in my father’s world, not in this one. You are the one who should fear.”
“I’m not sticking around to find out,” he shot back, still without looking.
“Do you wait for your strength to return?” she laughed. “It won’t happen huddled by that doorway; you’ll need food and water, and there is none in this alley. As you try to gain strength back you will only be getting weaker. No, you are the one who is helpless and should be afraid. I will fare better than you, be very sure of that.”
Russ clenched his jaw and said nothing. He heard her footsteps retreating down the alley, but kept his eyes fixed on the weed clogged fence until things had been quiet for a while. It seemed as if she’d taken her parting shot and left, but she must have something up her sleeve . . . .
Chapter 25 ~ Gates, part 4
The alley was empty when he finally looked around. He stared at the street beyond for a moment or two, thinking it was funny how quiet everything was. The place seemed pretty dead. No one went in or out of the building across the street, or passed by the alley opening. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen or heard a single Azmanvallian since waking up. He listened closely for a moment or two, and thought he could hear some distant city noises . . . or maybe it was the breeze whistling through the empty buildings . . . He shook his head. It didn’t feel right.
Russ sighed, stretching his legs out and rubbing his eyes. Then he stared bleakly at the stone wall before him, and thought on Alisiya’s parting words. She might be right. He hadn’t eaten in . . . when was the last time he’d eaten? Everything had been so hectic since Varaneshe, and Leeton didn’t seem to care for food any more than Liseli did. Russ hadn’t brought up the idea of eating, too constantly nervous and worried to think about something other than what was going to happen and what might have happened. So the last time must have been . . . two nights ago, at the inn with Currun. Shit. His stomach rumbled, encouraged by his line of thought. He was starving. And thirsty. But . . . .
I’m just tired. He lowered his hands and eyed the pile of rags and dirty furs he’d been lying on before. He hadn’t really slept long in days, either. He’d have to venture out to find food, but he could try to sleep on the pile of rags, though he didn’t exactly relish the thought. He didn’t know who or what might come upon him as he slept, and maybe even Alisiya would be coming back.
Russ pushed himself to his feet, and after a moment decided to venture into the doorway. It was one step up, and he lifted one foot hesitantly
, holding onto the crumbling frame as he peered inside. He could swear there was no Gate there, and never had been. But then again, that was the way it had seemed in the trees where he’d entered Alisiya from the Mill. One moment, a Gate, the next, nothing. He swallowed, fearing that the Gates disappeared as soon as you used them. But, he reminded himself firmly, Leeton had used that Gate to get to Alisiya and he’d still been able to get to Adayzjia through it. Maybe he was just trying to use it again too soon, or maybe it was because he was weak from just having gone through.
Maybe that had been the reason back in the woods, too. If he’d just waited, he’d have seen the Gate again and they could have been back home on Tuesday afternoon. It was his fault that they hadn’t; he’d been the one who wanted to go exploring, find water. Shit, if he’d stayed there like Liseli wanted, right now they’d probably be . . . back home at the Burger House on a slow Sunday afternoon.
Fuck it.
He didn’t want to be in Fayette either, getting spattered with greasy hot cooking oil and aching after Liseli all day long only to sleep alone every goddamn night. That was no life, and for all the bad that had happened because of the Mill, he couldn’t regret the change. Maybe it was better to be separated from a Liseli who loved him than to be with a Liseli who didn’t. Just so long as he could get back to her, eventually. To her, not to the way things were before.
He got up the nerve to walk inside the hallway beyond the door. It was too dark to see, but he ran his hands along the walls as he went. He had only gone a yard or two when he stumbled into steps. He caught himself before he fell, then hesitated, wondering if he should climb them. Maybe this building wasn’t the sort of place he really wanted to be inside of . . . or maybe there was food.
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