He didn’t say, I wish I could do that, but he didn’t have to. The sentiment practically radiated from him, and Liseli felt alone. The very idea that Russ could do what Leeton had done made him feel like a stranger to her.
“No,” she said, simply, trying not to betray any of what she was thinking. “No, I can’t imagine it.”
“It must be awesome,” he said, dreamily, and Liseli looked away.
“We should bar the doors.”
“Right.” Russ snapped out of whatever magical Key fantasy he had been dreaming up for himself, and they turned away from the doors.
Finding something to bar the doors with proved easier said than done. There were no spare beams just lying about, and furniture was sparse in the main hall. They’d have to turn back down the narrow corridors and search individual rooms to find anything.
“That’ll take too long,” Russ shook his head when Liseli voiced her thought. “I know what we can use that’s nearby.”
“What?”
He said nothing, but looked down at the bodies.
“You want to pile the bodies up as a barricade?” Liseli understood, horrified.
Russ shrugged. “There’s a lot of them. We can start with the ones close to the door and gather outward.” He spread his arms toward the hall openings.
Liseli shuddered, then looked around. “Okay.”
Together, they carried, dragged, pushed, and pulled the dead Ricallyn toward the door, packing them together like sacks of sand reinforcing a dam. The dogs gathered to watch them impassively, and Liseli could tell that their presence made Russ uncomfortable, but she didn’t think it could be helped. The dogs obviously meant them no harm at the moment, but it was hard to overcome the memory of Russ’s earlier attack, or block out the fact that the bodies they were handling had been mauled by the same dogs.
They worked quietly, not speaking to each other or making eye contact when not necessary. It was the only way to avoid acknowledging or thinking too much about how gruesome their task was.
Liseli’s thoughts returned to Russ’s wonder and wistfulness when speaking of Leeton’s feat. She told herself it shouldn’t bother her, but it did. It was slowly eating away at the back of her mind, telling her things she didn’t want to hear. Russ was different. The experiences of the last week had changed him, and she was afraid of where the changing might end. He and Leeton, different as they seemed on the surface, shared some talent, some ability, some magical power that she couldn’t even begin to understand. She was cut off from this business with Gates and Keys, and the fact that Alisiya had mistaken her for an adept only ground in the dark fact that she had no control over any of this. Russ had brought her to Alisiya, and Leeton had brought her to Adayzjia, and she had the barest memory of the transitions. She knew, from the torture of Alisiya forcing her in and out of the cave opening, demanding she do something magical, that she could not make the Gate open, and it was not an ability she could ever learn or acquire. She was completely out of her element — helpless and useless as long as she was away from her own homeworld.
Their stack was growing higher, and they had to move the bodies further as they gathered them from farther away, and it was no easy task for Liseli. Even if she could steel her mind against the gruesomeness of what they were doing, the bare fact remained that the bodies were heavy. She clamped her teeth together and tried to ignore the weariness she felt . . . after all, she couldn’t remember now the last time she had felt strong and rested. Perhaps she never had. Certainly she had never been strong, 90-pound-weakling that she was, and even when she slept her dreams were tiring. So, what was weariness and overexertion to her? Nothing.
“Are you alright?” Russ was peering at her face concernedly, as if her strain were showing, and she gave him a curt nod in reply. “I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” he felt the need to admit.
Liseli took the moment to straighten her aching back. “What do you mean? It was your idea.”
“I know. But . . . ” he looked at the human barricade appraisingly, “I’m not sure if there’s gonna be enough here to really make a difference.”
“Well, unfortunately there aren’t any more people around to kill, Russell, so we’ll just have to make due.”
He caught the edge in her voice, and turned to look her more fully in the eye. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
She couldn’t help but utter a grim, incredulous laugh. “I’m as alright as I can be under the circumstances. But that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that we’re surrounded by a world full of enemies that we need to keep out. Do you want to keep stacking the . . . the . . . or are you saying we should try something else?”
Russ looked around with an uncertain grimace, reaching unconsciously to scratch his head. “What we really need is some big, heavy furniture to shove up against it. There was a big desk and a cabinet in the room I was in . . . and probably other stuff like that in other rooms . . . but . . . ” he smiled weakly, “it’d be really hard to move it.”
“Then let’s just keep doing this till we get a better idea,” Liseli said, in what she hoped was a purposeful, determined voice. She didn’t want to resume hauling bodies, but there wasn’t much choice.
“I just wonder . . . .”
“What?”
Russ shrugged with reluctance, but didn’t move.
“What?”
“How many doors there are,” he smiled at her apologetically, as if merely saying so created more doors to the outside. “It’s a big building. And there might be, y’know, secret entrances too.”
Liseli closed her eyes. Of course. Of course there would be more doors to worry about. Leeton had blown everything open, not just the main doors. And of course there would be hidden entryways where the Adayzjians could enter and take them by surprise. That was just their luck.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up. Let’s get these doors blocked best we can before we worry about others,” Russ said, putting his hands on her shoulders. She opened her eyes. He was giving her that appraising stare again, as if he were trying to decide if she was fit for action.
“Right.” She nodded, hoping she came across as alright. Strong, capable, in control.
“You look tired,” said Russ. “I should see if Leeton will help with the bo . . . the barrier.”
“No.” She backed up, brushing his hands away. “I can do it. His daughter just died.”
So did yours, a tiny voice in her mind whispered, but she shoved it away viciously. It wasn’t the time to think about that. Not the time, not the place.
“So what. A lot of people just died, and I don’t want to be the next,” Russ said, surprising her with his callous reaction. “We’re gonna need his help blocking the door if we expect to keep the Ricallyn out.”
“Fine. But if he won’t leave Alisiya, don’t waste your time arguing with him,” Liseli said. Russ just nodded as he walked past her back toward the dark room where Leeton was still holed up.
Liseli didn’t follow, instead gritted her teeth and walked over to a prone Ricallyn woman. No sense in wasting time standing around waiting. She couldn’t carry the corpse herself but she could at least work at pushing and pulling it closer to the door. She glanced over at a watchful dog and shuddered, shaking her head as she bent to touch what had once been a woman. If only the dogs would just go away, fade into the shadows, now that they weren’t needed. Instead they seemed to grin as they watched her tend to their kill. She supposed she should be thankful they weren’t trying to feast on the bodies. That, she didn’t think she could take.
Even the thought of it made her want to retch, and she paused, her eyes widening as she reached toward the bloodied woman.
She couldn’t vomit, she didn’t have anything to come out, but her stomach twisted and lurched into a dry heave anyway. Then she relaxed, her vision clouding, and she felt the dizzying sensation of falling . . . .
Chapter 32 ~ Tender Loving Care, part 2
“Liseli? Liseli, can you hear me?”
Liseli cracked her eyes open, startled, wondering how she had gone from leaning over the body to lying on her back on the floor, looking up at the worried face of Russ.
“What?” she said dumbly.
“I think you fainted.” He gave her a half smile, but the worry didn’t leave his eyes.
She turned her head and saw Leeton standing beside the crouching Russ, and she groaned. Fainted. How useless. She sat up, and shook her head, still feeling a bit woozy. “Oh. I’m alright now.”
“I don’t think so. When’s the last time you ate something?”
She looked at him blankly. Eating? How could he think of eating at a time like this?
“Slept?” Russ persisted when she remained silent. “Have you even had anything to drink lately?”
“I . . . I don’t . . . look, it doesn’t matter, we have to bar—”
“Like hell it doesn’t matter,” he snapped uncharacteristically, and she was briefly taken aback by his anger.
“Look Russ I’m not a china doll,” she snapped back. “You don’t have to worry over me.”
“Well one of us has to.” He wasn’t in any mood to back down, apparently. “I’m not gonna let you kill yourself before anyone else even gets the chance. Now stop pretending you’re okay and admit that you need a rest. For God’s sakes you just passed out!”
“This isn’t the time—”
“—For being stupid,” he finished for her, even though that was not what she’d started to say. “You can’t drag bodies around, period. You’re not strong enough.” She opened her mouth for a protest, but he glanced up at Leeton and went on, “Now, there’s no one storming the castle yet, and I know there’s food here because they fed me, so I’m gonna get Liseli something before she starves.”
Leeton nodded impassively, and Liseli got the feeling that he didn’t really give much of a shit what happened to them. “I will secure the building,” he said, with unnatural calmness, not seeming to recognize the absurdity of one man barricading all the doors in short enough time.
“It’s easier to break things all by yourself than fix them,” she blurted.
“Truer words . . . .” A ghost of a smile played across his face.
Russ frowned. “Liseli, you’ve got to rest. You look like hell and you’re not gonna be of any help to anyone if you keep on like this.”
Tears welled up unexpectedly when he said that, and Liseli blinked rapidly. How ridiculous, she thought with dismay, to cry at something Russ said. Get a grip.
“Alright,” she acquiesced. “Fine. We’re going to die anyway, I might as well eat before it instead of rushing around worrying.”
“We’re not gonna die if I can help it,” Russ said, sounding so certain she almost believed him. “Come on.” He helped her up. “I would tell you to wait here and rest while I went looking, but I don’t trust you to actually rest.”
She smiled faintly.
“Take one of my dogs with you,” said Leeton, and she could feel Russ stiffen.
“Why?”
“Because it will be able to sniff out where the food is kept, and you wont have to wander around aimlessly wasting time and energy,” Leeton said, but it still seemed as if he didn’t truly care if they took the dog or wandered aimlessly.
“Right,” Russ agreed reluctantly. “What do I . . . I mean, how do I tell them to . . . .”
Leeton turned and looked pointedly at one dog, who leapt to attention. “Lead them to food. Human food,” he ordered, pointing toward Russ and Liseli. The dog trotted over and looked up at them expectantly.
“Well.” Russ forced a smile. “Lead on, then.” The dog turned and headed down a hall to the left without pause.
They followed, and before long the dog veered into one of the rooms. When they rounded the corner after it a moment later, they found themselves in a large kitchen with a well stocked pantry attached to it. Liseli was impressed at the dog’s unerring sense of direction and smell, and she murmured, “Good dog,” as it sat and resumed its expectant stare. She did not go so far as patting it on the head; that seemed practically disrespectful to such a fearsome, intelligent being.
Thankfully, there were no dead Ricallyn in the kitchen — Liseli didn’t think she could eat a bite if there was, no matter what Russ said or did to try and make her. The room was in disarray, but that seemed to be the fault of Leeton rather than his dogs — the cupboards hung wide open, and several drawers lay on the floor with their contents split, as if they’d catapulted out of the cabinets. There was a big, industrial sized wash basin in one corner, with spigots for running water, and Liseli made a beeline for them, turning the water on full blast and plunging her hands underneath the stream. She hated having to touch dead bodies and was not going to eat with those same hands until the death was blistered off them with hot water and soap. Russ followed her, and adjusted the temperature wordlessly.
As he leaned over the washtub next to her, she noticed for the first time that the sleeve of his shirt near left the shoulder was torn, and had dark brown stains on it, like dried blood. Instead of seeing his skin through the tear, she caught a glimpse of a dirty looking bandage.
“Russ!” she surprised him with her exclamation. “Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?” Privately, she kicked herself for not noticing right away. It should have been one of the first things she saw when she found him. And as if that failure weren’t enough, how long had they been working together to move bodies without her seeing the injury? How could she be so clueless?
Russ shrugged, grabbing a large cake of soap from the edge of the basin. “I got that a few hours ago, I don’t even feel it anymore.”
“The bandage looks dirty,” she said, pulling away the torn sleeve to look at it closer. “Looks like a pretty haphazard job, too. Did you wrap it yourself? How did you get hurt? Did you clean the wound before wrapping it up? You could get infected if you just—”
“It’s healed,” he interrupted. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I want to look at it,” she said stubbornly. “And I want to know how you got hurt. Did the Ricallyn do that?”
Reluctantly, Russ shook his head. He turned and pointed to his other arm. Liseli was dismayed to see a similar tear in his sleeve, and he said, “These are just from some other Adayzjians. I tried to steal bread from them.”
Liseli bit her lip. Two wounds, why hadn’t she noticed either? “Well, I want to look at both of them, and redo the bandages,” she insisted, as if it would make up for her previous blindness. It had been dark, she told herself, and there was so much to worry about that she just hadn’t looked closely.
“It’s really okay,” Russ protested.
She shook her head, and ordered, “Take off your shirt.”
“You should eat first.”
“What, and puke all over you when I see the wound? Better do it on an empty stomach.”
“The cuts aren’t that deep, and anyway I told you they’ve healed. I heal faster now, after, you know, the dog attack,” he said the last words quietly, as if the dog in the room with them might overhear.
“Russ, just take off your damn shirt.”
He sighed, but put the soap down and pulled the shirt up off over his head.
There was dried blood all over his chest and arms, and Liseli gasped involuntarily.
“Don’t worry, most of it isn’t mine.”
“What the hell have you been doing?” Liseli asked incredulously. “And why didn’t you tell me about these cuts?” She reached out to gingerly touch the angry red scars that ran down and across his chest, as if someone had started to carve a tic-tac-toe board on him.
Russ flinched away. “Those still hurt,” he admitted, but didn’t answer her questions.
Liseli set her mouth in a grim line and looked him in the eyes. “I want you to tell me everything that happened since you got here, and why you’re covered in blood and why all of it isn’t yours,” she demanded.
“It might take a while.”
Liseli shook her head and thrust his shirt under the flowing water, bunching it up into a makeshift wash rag, and grabbed the soap. “You can tell me while I’m cleaning you up,” she said, leaving no room for protest. “And don’t leave anything out.”
And so, as she removed the grungy bandages from his arms, he began to relate everything that had happened, beginning hesitantly with the way Alisiya had come on to him in the alley after they arrived. Liseli said nothing, but bit down on the inside of her cheek hard to keep from interrupting to curse out the dead woman. He went on to tell her about the Osviran girls, and the Ricallyn soldiers, and the chain of prisoners they led here to the temple. When he got to the part about the Osviran girl joining him in his cell and Alisiya taunting him about her purpose, Liseli bit down on her cheek so hard she felt the tinge of blood joining with her saliva. But she didn’t say anything, determined to hear the whole story without getting hung up on one or two parts.
As he had said, the wounds on his arms were miraculously already well on their way to being completely healed. They would leave vivid scars, but she realized that it was thanks to the Chaiorra water still in his system that the slashes weren’t still fresh, and hadn’t become infected. Her hands shook with anger as he calmly related the events of his near death at the hands of the Ricallyn priest, and looked at him in surprise when he explained how he gotten free and killed the man.
He paused, and was silent for a moment.
“Is that all?” She knew it wasn’t all, because it did not explain how Alisiya had ended up dead in the courtyard outside. But he seemed to be waiting for her to say something.
“I killed a man,” he said, searching her eyes as if he expected to see reproach or disgust. “I stabbed him to death and kept on stabbing him after he was dead. I’m not sorry I did. I just . . . didn’t know if you’d . . . .”
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