by Amie Knight
His familiar Boston accent made me smile. Sixty years in the South and the man still pahked the cah. It was adorable like the rest of him. No wonder he got all the spicy ladies. My grandmother had been, too. Cancer took her from him before I was even born, but he regaled me with plenty of tales about how he met a Southern belle while vacationing that made him want to give up everything, even his hometown in the north.
My phone buzzed from the console and Pops looked down at it lighting up and I could feel his judgmental stare. “Kinda late to be getting texts, huh?”
It was kind of late and I knew exactly who it was and I could barely wait to get home and see what he had sent.
“Why the hell are you smiling?”
I glanced over at Pops and gave him an eye roll.
“Are you smiling over that text?” He made a move to pick up my phone, but I was quicker and snatched it up.
“Don’t you even think about it.” I pulled into the driveway to home. It was a modest two-bedroom duplex with an old, quiet married couple who rented the other side. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”
“Who was that? A new boyfriend?”
I stared at him before answering, “Pops, you know I don’t do boyfriends.”
He raised his eyebrows. “A girlfriend, then.”
I laughed. “Definitely not.”
“You’re not gonna tell me anything?” He whined as we made our way into the house.
“When have I ever told you about my hookups?” Sure, he was my best friend, but there was no way in hell I was sharing that with him.
“Never,” he answered, turning the light on in his room. “But you looked really excited out there, so I thought maybe this one was serious.”
“Come on, you know I don’t do serious.” I pulled down the sheets for him and made sure his CPAP machine was hooked up and ready while he slipped out of his clothes and into some pajamas.
He came out of the bathroom and climbed into bed. “It’s okay if you want to be serious, ya know?”
I gave him a look. One that said I did not like where this line of conversation was heading. And I didn’t want any part of it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Stop playing stupid.”
“Fine. I know.” Leaning down, I grabbed his prosthetic middle toe from between his others and placed it on the nightstand next to him. He lost it to diabetes a few years ago and had the prosthesis so that his other toes wouldn’t become deformed and grow over his others.
“Give me your hearing aids.”
He pulled them out of his ears and gave them to me and I set them in their case.
“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m holding you back, Hazel. You shouldn’t be here worried about an old eighty-three-year-old man. You should be living your life. Going to college. Meeting boys. Or girls.” He waved his hands. “Whatever your preference.”
I giggled at that. “Teeth,” I said, holding out a little blue container with water in it. He slipped his teeth from his mouth and plunked them into the container and I put the lid on it and set it down before pulling the covers over him.
He grabbed my hand over the cover. I stared at it. He had a cross tattooed on his ring finger. I’d never asked him why. My pops had always been covered in tattoos. He had them on his biceps and calves and back and even his fingers. He told me once when I was a little girl he’d gotten them in the military, but to me those tattoos were as much a part of him as his baby blue eyes. I’d never thought to question what they meant.
“I’m sorry I dragged you out tonight. I was bored and selfish and when Jeb called…well, I was stupid.”
I pursed my lips. “You were stupid, but I still love you.” I said it loud enough for him to hear without his hearing aids.
I tried to pull my hand away, but he held tight and kept me in place. “Ya know it’s okay to live a little, kid? It’s okay if whoever is texting is someone you really like. It’s okay to have fun. It’s okay to do other things besides work and take care of me. I worry about you.”
His blue eyes shined with unshed tears and that stupid lump was back in my throat. I was going to murder him. Why was he doing this to me? I swallowed and it went down a lot harder this time. I let out a long breath and closed my eyes, trying to block out all the emotion I didn’t want to feel. I liked when me and Pops played practical jokes on each other or laughed at Amor’s silly underwear and romance novels. This. This moment just made me so unbearably uncomfortable.
So I did the only thing I could do. “That’s it! I’m telling Amor you snuck out tonight, you asshole.”
I pulled my hand away and walked toward the door and turned the light switch off as I watched him start putting on the mask for his CPAP machine.
“You’re lucky I can’t hear the shit you’re saying, Hazel Indigo Jones!” he yelled as I exited the room.
I laughed at the use of my horrendous middle name. I only knew of one other person who sported a worse one. “Still telling Amor!” I shouted back.
“I can’t hear you!” I heard as I shut his door to a small crack, so I could listen for him.
It was 4:00 a.m. and I should have been wiped out. I was on a summer break from football, but all college football players knew you didn’t really get a summer break. Our time off consisted of two workouts a day and maybe a summer school class or two to stay on target. I had elected to take three classes this summer, but with a major in sports medicine and playing football, I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. I had to get my classes in when I could. Unlike a lot of the guys on my team, I didn’t dream of a life as a famous NFL player. I loved the game of football for sure, but I knew I wasn’t good enough to go pro.
I checked my phone nervously. I’d been waiting on a message from her all night. I couldn’t believe she hadn’t messaged me back. I was Gray Wolfe. Defender of Hadrian’s Wall. A badass human-wolf hybrid that could defeat anyone and couldn’t be resisted. Well, that was what I was in the video game, Hadrian’s Wall. The video game I’d made a super cool fake persona on so I could finally get my sister’s best friend, Hazel Jones, to really give me a chance. It was a poor choice for sure. Did I feel bad about it? Yes. Would I have done it again? Yes.
It had all started when I’d gone with Scarlett, my loving sister whom I often referred to as Lettie for short, to visit Hazel at work one day at the video game store she managed. I heard her talking to one of the kids there about a game she was really into called Hadrian’s Wall. She’d given him her name in the video game and what server she played on.
And just like with all things pertaining to Hazel, I’d been paying close attention. Probably too close, because I memorized that shit. And then at the end of summer when I had a measly two weeks left before classes and real training started back, I decided to have a celebration.
And that celebration was basically drinking a lot of beer and watching my big sister, Scarlett, get white girl wasted on wine coolers. It’s sometimes unfortunate when your best friend is a girl and your sister.
When Lettie finally passed out while complaining what a long summer it had been without her kiddos at school—she was an overdramatic school teacher—I made my way to my room, liquid courage in my veins and a whole lot of wanting in my heart. Almost a whole lifetime’s worth.
I opened my laptop and created a fake me. A me I knew Hazel would like. I’d seen her get around enough to know the kinds of guys she was into and they were the opposite of young football player Oliver Knox. I updated my profile. I’d be a forty-two-year-old man with brown hair and blue eyes. Gray Wolfe was the gaming name I picked, my avatar a hybrid man-wolf. I found the server she played on and waited and kept drinking until she signed on and then I tried to chat with her. It didn’t work the first night. And even though I felt guilty about doing it when I was sober the next morning, it didn’t stop me from trying to chat with her while I played the game that day either, which was a surprisingly stellar gam
e. Elves, shapeshifters, vampires. It had it all. The goal of the game was to protect Hadrian’s Wall. It was interactive and fun and I could see why Hazel liked it. After three days of trying, she gave into Gray Wolfe and I felt like I finally had a chance. Or at least Gray Wolfe did.
And I’d been waiting on a chance with Hazel since, well, forever.
Sure, I may have had an alternate phone number added to my phone and I may have been lying to her about my name and my age, but I never once lied about how I felt or about who I really was, on the inside. We’d only been talking in the video game for about a week before I’d finally convinced her to give me her phone number so we could actually text. And we’d only been texting for about two weeks. I’d kept it mostly platonic at this point, but I was starting to get bolder with my flirting. I didn’t want her to run off.
Tonight was the first night in a very long time that she hadn’t messaged me and told me about her day at work. We were both pretty busy during the day, but the nights belonged to Gray Wolfe and Hazeyeyes—her name on the game. She would talk on and on about the kids who worked for her at the video game store she managed. And the stories she’d tell me about her pops were the best and not surprising at all since I’d met the old coot on many occasions. The best was when she’d tell me about Scarlett. The only other person I knew better than myself. But she didn’t know that. She didn’t know anything about Gray Wolfe really, except that I was in sports medicine. Not quite a lie. And that I was a forty-two-year-old divorced man. The rest that she knew was pure her Winnie. The name she’d been calling me since she’d learned my middle name when we were just small children.
Her Winnie. Why hadn’t she been on tonight? What if she knew? What if she figured it out and that was why she hadn’t texted me today? Jesus, she’d probably show up in the morning at Scarlett’s and my apartment with a shotgun and a shovel and I had a feeling if Scarlett found out about what I’d been doing, she would be the one doing the digging.
I was dead meat if they found me out.
My worry gave way to sleep eventually. It couldn’t be helped. A college football player’s days were long and the nights were too short. I was almost completely knocked out with my phone in my hand under my pillow when I felt it vibrate. I snatched it out quickly, half startled, half excited. Sleep forgotten.
Hazel: Sorry I didn’t message sooner. It’s been a hell of a night.
Me: Pops?
Hazel: How did you know? LOL
Me: Wild guess ;)
Hazel: Yeah, he had me out at Chaser’s in the middle of the fucking night.
I was this close to asking if he was gambling at Chaser’s, but Gray Wolfe didn’t know that. Oliver did.
Me: Chasers? And I didn’t know the night could fuck. How interesting.
Hazel: Yeah. Some shitty bar here all of his old friends go to play the illegal poker machines. And you’re a smartass.
Me: Sounds like a snazzy joint and thank you.
Hazel: LOL Who the hell says snazzy?
Me: Gray Wolfe does. You got a problem with that?
Hazel: If I do, what are you gonna do about it?
A million things. I would do so many damn things to Hazel that would blow her mind. And even though I was a virgin, I wasn’t naïve about sex. I’d watched porn. I had fantasies. Most of them including one gorgeous brown-eyed, brown-haired girl. And the things I’d do to her were limitless.
Me: Wouldn’t you like to know?
Hazel: That’s why I asked, genius.
I decided to call her bluff.
Me: Why don’t you come over and find out?
Hazel: How would I do that? I have no idea where you live.
Me: Then ask me.
It was a dare. I’d lost my mind. I didn’t know what the fuck I was thinking. I just knew I wanted to see her badly enough in that moment that I was willing to out myself like a damn fool. But as the seconds turned into minutes I felt dread settle over me. What if I’d gone too far? What if this was it? Hazel didn’t get serious about her guys. I had to keep this light if I was going to keep her on the hook.
Hazel: Good night, Gray.
Fuck, I hoped she wasn’t mad. I wouldn’t press the subject, though. I knew Hazel like I knew myself and one thing you had to have plenty of when it came to her was patience. So even though it almost killed me not to ask if she was mad or if I’d gone too far, I responded with a simple good night as well. There was always tomorrow, right?
Gray: Favorite color?
I put my phone under the counter, determined not to answer him. I mean, I was at work. I was busy and I definitely wasn’t smiling. Not even a little bit. Damn him. And I definitely wasn’t thinking about our conversation last night and how he’d all but practically begged me to ask him where he lived. Because that was almost too much. This was fun, but if it started getting too personal, then it would definitely become serious. And I didn’t do serious. Right?
“What are you over there grinning about?” Chad, one of the college kids who worked for me, asked.
Had I been smiling? What the hell? Yes, I was. Straightening my face, I pushed my glasses up on my nose and lied through my teeth. “My friend sent me a joke.” I handed him some games to put away as a distraction. “Can you go put these away with the PC games?”
I’d opted for my specs today instead of the contacts I almost always wore.
I went back to work organizing the game rentals that had been returned and tried not to think about Gray. He didn’t normally message me during the workday, but when he did, it was such a pleasant surprise because I enjoyed chatting with him more than I’d enjoyed chatting with anyone in my life. And the fact he started a lot of our chats with random questions just endeared me to him further. He was precious and I didn’t do precious normally. I was a straight shooting, no nonsense kind of gal. But Gray was making me giddy. I was being ridiculous. I rolled my eyes at myself as I started to put returned console games back on the shelves.
I’d been working at Level Up since I was sixteen years old. It had been my first and only job and because of that I was now a manager at a mediocre video game store. But, hey, it was a steady paycheck. And it allowed me the flexibility to be home with my pops in the evenings. When he decided to stick around at least. And it was safe, and above all things I liked safety and routine. Besides, I was a gamer. This was kind of my jam. I’d played over half of these games. I was good at this shit.
A couple of hours later and I couldn’t resist anymore. I grabbed my phone and texted Gray back. I was weak when it came to him.
Me: Green.
It was a few minutes before my phone notified me of a text back.
Gray: Green? For real?
I rolled my eyes. Why was this so hard to believe?
Me: Yes. For real. Why?
Gray: Because no one likes green.
Me: Well, apparently that isn’t true. Because I do. What’s your favorite color?
I fully expected for him to come back with navy blue or red like most dudes did.
Gray: Green of course.
I couldn’t help but let out a laugh.
Me: WTF! You just said no one likes green.
Gray: Well, except for me. I love green.
I was smiling my face off. Why was he so damn cute?
Me: You have got to stop being so adorable right this damn minute.
Gray: I can’t. It’s just who I am. Ttyl, Hazeyeyes.
I went about the rest of work grinning and thinking of Gray. I was still doing that and counting the till at the end of the day when my best friend, Scarlett, bounced in all kittens and rainbows. That was just how she was.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” I asked, putting the cash for the day in a leather bag.
Scarlett grabbed a pack of Skittles from the kiosk in front of me and slapped two dollars on the counter. “I need a favor.”
I nodded. “Okay, what’s up?” Grabbing the cash bag, I walked to the entrance and locked it before heading to the
back room to put the money in the safe.
“Well, actually Ollie needs a favor,” Scarlett garbled out around a mouthful of Skittles. It was a good thing she was a drop dead gorgeous redhead with green catlike eyes because Scarlett shoving the little candies in her mouth left a little something to be desired.
My ears perked at the mention of Oliver. I pretended they didn’t. I’d been pretending for years. Oliver, aka Winnie, was my other best friend and my best friend’s little brother. I adored him. A little too much sometimes. At times I thought maybe he even knew me better than my best friend. Which was why I had to put distance between Winnie and me even if I did hate it.
“What’s up with Oliver?” I locked away the cash and grabbed my purse before locking the office up, too, Scarlett following me around, chomping on her Skittles.
“He said his car was giving him trouble today and he almost didn’t make it for football training at the stadium. He wants me to bring him my car so I don’t have to come out tonight and get him since he’ll be late. He’s going to have his towed. Can you follow me over there and then take me home, so I can leave my car there?”
I headed to my car. “Sure. No problem.” There pretty much wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Oliver or Scarlett. They were practically family to me. I knew they had plenty of family of their own. But I didn’t. So I’d made them mine by default.
“You’re the best.” She smiled sweetly, climbing into her car. She meant it, too. She was just that sweet and good.