by Amie Knight
After a few moments of enjoying his embrace, I pulled back, trying not to let things be weird or awkward.
“I brought you a gift, birthday girl.”
I smiled up at him, feeling thankful he came by but realizing I should have known he would.
“I’m sorry I missed breakfast, but I was in class and I have to get back again shortly. But I wanted to drop this off.”
He pulled a small pink bag about the size of my palm from his jacket pocket and a pink card followed. He handed them both to me. “Happy Birthday, Hazel.”
I took the gifts from his outstretched hand. “Thanks, Winnie.”
Three months had been too long. Just looking at him was doing something to me. I wanted to wrap myself around him and never let go. My gaze darted over to the back corner of the room where we’d done all the things I couldn’t seem to get my mind off of anymore. I thought of his burning green-brown eyes all the time. I dreamed about his mouth. I fantasized about his hands.
He cleared his throat and my eyes jumped back to his. “Well, I gotta get going. I don’t want to be late, but I hope your day has been good.”
It was all so fucking formal that I wanted to die. I hated this version of us.
He left just as quickly as he came and I tried not to be bummed as I tucked his gift under the counter. I’d open it when I got home.
I tried not to long for Oliver too much, but it seemed like the more he distanced himself from me the harder it was to resist him.
I went back to work and the day dragged on. I was ready to get home and have dinner with my pops. Amor was making us a big spread.
After finally finishing for the day and having fajitas, homemade salsa, and guacamole with the fam, I took my purse upstairs with my gifts inside.
I showered and threw on some sweatpants and dug through my closet until I found one of the three hoodies I had that were Oliver’s. I put it on and climbed into bed with the card and little bag Oliver had given me.
I didn’t need to open it to know what was inside, but I was still so very excited. I started with the card, which was just a generic sweet card that said Happy Birthday, pink flowers in the background. But just like every card he’d ever given me he’d signed it with a tic-tac-toe board, one X and one O inside of it. His sign-off was always “your Winnie” and today was no exception. I pressed the card to my chest and snuggled down into Oliver’s hoodie, wishing it still smelled like him. All the hoodies I had of his had long ago lost his smell. Fuck, I missed him.
I finally opened up the top of the bag and pulled out another smaller mesh bag that held a tiny charm. An X. Last year had been an O. I opened the mesh bag and rubbed my finger over the X. I’d received a charm every year since my twenty-first birthday.
I reached over to my bedside table where my small wooden jewelry box was that really only had like two pairs of hoops in it and Oliver’s bracelet. I pulled it out and attached the X charm, admiring how beautiful the bracelet was.
I never dared wear it. I was too terrified to lose it, never to be found again.
It was as priceless to me as Oliver was, which was why I never wore it outside of my home. I tucked the bracelet back into the jewelry box right above the pink paper and the box it came in. The irony wasn’t lost on me that I treated that bracelet much like I treated Oliver. Hidden away in my heart, terrified of losing the things I held precious.
The sign above the business read Brews and Bikes and I thought what a stupid name and even dumber idea. The two didn’t seem to mix to me. Besides, Scarlett was pregnant and couldn’t even drink. What were we doing here? But what the hell did I know. It was a Saturday and football season was over, so I had no damn excuse to miss this special event as Scarlett had called it when I told her I was going to be busy playing video games and relaxing.
I guess it was a special event. My sister was getting married in just one month and she said she wanted to do a team building event with her bridal party and her best friends. It made me laugh because that was such a teacher thing to want to do.
I looked around for what used to be my partner in crime. Hazel. She would have laughed at Scarlett’s crazy idea, too. We would have made fun of her. She would have gotten annoyed at us but still found us adorably charming and made us some dinner anyway. But everything was different now. And not for the better.
Hazel wasn’t there yet, but no one was really. I was usually fifteen minutes early for everything. Scarlett was always at least thirty minutes late on a good day.
I walked to the front of the beer slash bar shop and ordered a beer in a bottle and sat down on one of the benches in front of the place, staring at the rows of one-person and two-person bikes lining the wall outside the place. Looked like we were in for a treat tonight.
It was starting to get dark outside when I finally saw someone I knew arrive. Of course it was Hazel. I didn’t know if she was ready to see me or not. The past couple of months had changed so drastically for me. Scarlett was pregnant now. I was going to be an uncle. She’d decided to move in with Luk and Ella even before they got married. So, that left me alone in the apartment. I’d just finished my last season of ball. I would graduate soon. And I was lonely as shit. To make matters worse, I didn’t even have Hazel to bitch about all of this with. At least I could be Gray Wolfe and play video games with her late at night. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to push, but I knew she was there.
I was nervous as hell to see her and it shouldn’t have been this way. But it was. Because I was an idiot who had taken it too far. I should have known she wasn’t ready that night in Level Up. But I’d just wanted her for so long. And I wanted her so much.
I’d tried to stay away and give her time. I thought she would reach out to me when she was ready. It had been the most difficult thing in my life not being with her and seeing her. And walking away that day in Level Up had been torture. I’d been angry, but not at her. Mostly at myself that day. Also mad at the circumstances of it all. And after I stopped by for Hazel’s birthday and saw the confrontation between her and her mother, things were even more clear. She had more pressing things to deal with than me.
Hazel slowed as she approached and noticed it was just me sitting on the benches. She looked at her watch and then back at me before continuing to head my way. Poor girl. She was fifteen minutes late and still stuck with only me. Something I could tell from the look on her face that she was apprehensive as hell.
“Hey, Oliver,” she said, looking at the sign on the top of the building and then at the bikes out front.
Oliver. I was getting Oliver now. Not even Winnie. Fuck, but it seemed like I’d fallen out of her graces completely. I tried to pretend it didn’t fucking crush me. It had only been a month since I’d gone to Level Up and given her a birthday gift. But it felt like ages. Every day without her seemed to drag on.
“Hey, Hazel. How’s it going?” We were being casual. Totally just acquaintances saying hello to each other. Everything was fucking honkey dory.
“Good,” she said nonchalantly, looking overly concerned at the rows of bikes. All I could think was how absolutely positively gorgeous she looked. She was wearing a long-sleeved black fitted T-shirt and skinny jeans with her black Chucks this evening. She had on big hoop earrings and her hair was down. She never wore makeup and she didn’t have any on now. But it didn’t matter. This was dressed up for Hazel Jones and she looked fucking amazing.
“Did you hear me?” Hazel was standing in front of me now.
I hadn’t. I hadn’t heard a word she’d fucking said because I was too busy admiring how damn nice her legs looked in those tight pants. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” I pulled my black T-shirt loose at the chest, trying to let some air in. It was suddenly getting warm out here.
“I said when the hell did this place open up?” The disgusted look on her face was exactly how I felt about this whole shindig, too.
“Who the fuck knows. I haven’t heard of it, so it can’t have been that long.”
Sneering, she said, “This sounds like a bad idea.”
“It is not a bad idea. It’s going to be fun and everyone is going to love it.” Scarlett’s voice sounded behind Hazel and scared the shit out of both of us.
Hazel jumped into action first. “Yes, we’re going to have so much fun,” she lied through her fake ass smile and patted Scarlett’s baby bump. “How’s my baby doing?”
Grinning, Scarlett brought her own hand to her stomach. “We’re good. Actually great.” She shot Luk, who was at her side, a loving look. “I’ve been feeling really good now that I’m not puking my guts out every day and Luk is taking real good care of us.”
“Hey, Luk,” Hazel said, leaning up and giving his cheek a kiss. The small act had the inner me stomping my damn feet. I didn’t think I’d ever get a kiss on the cheek from Hazel ever again. He had my sister and one of my best friends wrapped around his damn finger while I’d resorted to calling over my neighbor Mason at night to play video games with. And he wasn’t even good. He sucked.
Speaking of Mason, he was crossing the street and headed our way. He gave us all a wave while looking around the joint, his face much like mine and Hazel’s.
“What the fuck is this shit?” he spat.
I hid a smile while Hazel giggled.
“This is not shit, Mason Stark. This is fun. We’re gonna have fun today. I didn’t get a babysitter for Ella so all of y’all could complain,” Scarlett said.
“You got a babysitter for Ella? Why the hell did you do that? I’ll go home and take care of her right now.” Mason made to head back across the street. Luk and Mason were best friends and Ella was in love with Mason. He probably would have preferred to babysit her. They had a great time together.
“Don’t you even think about it, number nineteen!” Scarlett yelled and Mason rolled his eyes as he headed back over to us.
“Number nineteen?” Hazel asked Scarlett.
“I have a slew of NFL players at my house every weekend and I’m better with numbers.”
Hazel shook her head with a smile while a group of women came across the street. Scarlett waved them our way.
“Hey, ladies!” she called.
About six women joined our group. Scarlett introduced them all one by one and I hardly heard a name she said, because I was too busy watching Hazel talk to Mason quietly and trying not to lose my mind over it. All I knew for sure was that they worked with her at the school.
Scarlett clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, y’all. Here’s what’s going to happen. We are going on a little tour of our small downtown area of Summerville on the bikes. We will have a tour guide here with us in a little bit. He’s going to tell us a little history of the town and we’re going to stop periodically to have a beer at all the local breweries. Well, y’all are. I’ll be having water.”
The six pack of girls that crossed the street cheered. I didn’t blame them. They taught children all day. They should drink the fuck up. Mason looked like he was going to murder Luk, and Hazel looked nervous for some reason.
The tour guide for the day came out and gave us a safety spill before handing us all helmets and telling us to either grab a single-seater bike or a double one.
“I’ll be happy to ride with you, Ollie,” one of Scarlett’s friends from school said, crowding me. She was blonde and I thought maybe her name was Tiffany or Tia, Tessa. Who the hell knew. I could hardly pay her attention because it seemed like Hazel wasn’t putting a helmet on, much less getting on a bike.
“I’m sorry. Can you excuse me for a minute,” I said, stepping around Tasha what’s her face and heading over to Hazel, who was hiding in the corner.
Mason arrived at the same time I did. Damn him.
“Wanna ride with me, Hazel?” he asked, grinning, and I wanted to throat punch him, hard. The bastard was so much Hazel’s type. It set me on edge. She liked older guys who didn’t do commitment. It made it so much easier for her when she blew them off. Which she always did.
Turns out I didn’t have to punch anyone.
She gave Mason a sad smile. “It’s okay, Mason. I think I’m going to sit this one out. I’m not feeling great.”
His smile fell. “Are you sure?” He looked around at everyone loading up. “I’m happy to stay behind with you.”
“Don’t even think about it, Mason! If I’m getting on this fucking bike, so are you!” Luk called from a bit away.
Mason stomped away with a huff, leaving me and Hazel. I knew her well enough to know she wasn’t the least bit sick.
Everyone was gearing up and getting on bikes nearby, so I leaned in quietly. “What’s really going on, brat?”
Hazel’s eyes looked everywhere but at me. “Shit. This is so fucking embarrassing.”
Scooting closer, I took her hand that wasn’t holding the helmet in mine. “You can tell me anything. You know that.” And I was positive she did. I had a feeling I knew more about her than most people did in her life.
“I can’t ride a bike, Oliver. I never learned how,” she whispered as quietly as she could.
At first my brain couldn’t seem to register what she said. It just seemed so crazy to me. Every kid learned how to ride a bike, right? And then I remembered the marks on her arms. Her grandfather getting custody. I didn’t know the details of Hazel’s childhood, but I knew enough to know it wasn’t good.
For some reason, I wanted to punch something. I wanted to lose my shit. It made me so angry that Hazel didn’t have the kind of childhood she deserved. But I checked my shit and got it under control because she needed a friend right now. I could be mad as hell about it later.
“It’s cool.” I gave her hand a squeeze and pulled her toward a two-seater bike. “I’m big enough to hold both of us up and this is a good chance for you to practice.”
“I don’t know, Oliver. It’s probably not safe. I’ll fall off and bust my ass and maybe hurt you.”
I found us a two-seater bike and pulled it out, before placing Hazel’s helmet on her head and strapping it around her sweet little chin. “Have I ever once let you fall?”
Her tender gaze fell on mine, years of friendship swirling in their brown depths. “Never,” she said with conviction.
“Well, then get your gorgeous ass on that bike. We’re going for a damn ride.”
I saw her throat bob a little as she stared at me for a second before climbing onto the back seat of the bike I was holding up for her.
Once she was situated, I double-checked her helmet was tight, just in case. I wasn’t planning on letting her fall, but I needed to be sure if she did she was safe. I climbed onto the front seat of the bike, my feet on either side.
“Okay, baby. Lift those feet and place them on the pedals.” I looked over my shoulder to make sure she was in fact doing that. Which she wasn’t. “Come on, Hazel. Lift them up. I got you!”
She blew out a long breath and then looked down at her feet placed on either side of the bike and lifted one slowly and put it on a pedal and then the other even slower. Everyone had already taken off and was about a block ahead, but I wasn’t about to rush her.
She had a death grip on the handle bars, but both her feet were up.
“Okay, I’m gonna go now.”
“Oh, wait, give me a minute. I’m not ready.”
I noticed the group was even farther ahead and I did something that I wasn’t sure was right or not. But I felt like sometimes people needed a nudge, not a push. Just a gentle shove and I wondered if Hazel was one of those people.
“Sometimes you just have to let go, brat. Now hold on.” I put one sneaker on the pedal and used the other one to push off and then we were gone, heading down the street toward the others. I checked on Hazel behind me, who was pedaling and looking terrified.
I kept it slow and then sped up a bit going downhill. I peeked back at her again and she seemed like she might actually be having a good time. “Look at you riding a bike like a pro.”
I turned back to the front,
but I didn’t miss hearing her say, “But I couldn’t do it without you, Oliver.”
My heart skipped a beat. Glancing over my shoulder at her, I said, “Then it’s a good thing you’ll always have me.” And I realized I fucking meant it. More than anything in the world.
I’d wait for her as long as she needed. Time was measured in such a small number compared to the sheer volume of my love for Hazel.
We caught up to the group and I even learned a few small cool details about our cute little town of Summerville from the tour guide. When we stopped at our first brewery on the tour, before I even managed to climb off the bike, I was swamped with Scarlett’s friends from work. So I did what I always did and charmed the pants off of them while we had a beer. Figuratively that is. I’d never once seen a woman without their pants.
And speaking of women without their pants, Hazel sat across the outdoor bar seating, giggling with Mason like she was sixteen and not newly twenty-five. Terri was running her mouth and I wasn’t even hearing what she was saying.
And so it continued the rest of our tour. The only time I really enjoyed was when we were on the bike with Hazel at the back. I’d look back and see the wind blowing in her hair and the wide smile on her face and it would about undo me. Even with all of her flaws, she was the most perfect person in the world to me.
When it was late and the tour was almost over, I could tell Scarlett was exhausted. Even though she’d been on the back of Luk’s bike, I’m sure it was rough for a pregnant lady to bike for two hours, especially considering she was the only one not drinking any alcohol.
Hazel and I were last to pull up and unload from our bike. I let her get off first like I’d done all evening.
I was halfway off the bike when someone slammed into me, wrapped their hands around my waist, and the scent of sweet, sweet vanilla invaded my senses. I breathed deep, completely enveloped in my favorite person.
“Thank you, Winnie,” was whispered right into the middle of my back.
I closed my eyes for a second, soaking in the feeling of being Winnie again and not just Oliver.