by Carnal, MJ
Felicity twirls a lock of her hair around in her fingers as she continues to stare down the hallway. “Huh?”
Yep, she’s got it bad for Seth. I need to see what other information I can gather from her. Felicity is cute, fiery and I think she’d be a great match for Shameful Regret’s drummer.
After a few more songs played by the house DJ, Michelle, Sly, and Gabbi come back to the table when the band starts to make their way on stage to set up for their set. Felicity reluctantly goes back to the bar on the right side of Metro to resume her shift, but not before we exchange phone numbers with promises of trying to get together to hang out some. My heartbeat picks up at the thought of seeing Connor performing again. It’s so much more intense than watching the guys practice in the garage.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Connor
I have been a nervous fucking wreck knowing Lynae is sitting out there without me. I wanted her back here, but I had so much paperwork to work on with Rich that I wouldn’t have been able to really keep her company. Michelle told me she would take care of getting Lynae pampered and dolled up so she would be ready for our dinner tonight after the set. Michelle and Sly are in on my plans. I have the ring in my pocket because I’m afraid to put it anywhere for fear of something happening to it. I have wanted to ask her a million and one different times this past week, but I want to make it special for her. This is a memory I want her to have where everything is perfect.
“She’s fine, man Quit freaking.” Seth says, coming back from checking on her for me.
Those two have formed a very tight bond. After Seth came clean with both of us about his feelings for her, we were all able to move on and maintain our friendship. Seth and I are back to the way things were, but Lynae seems to have become almost as close with him as she is with Sly. I know I can count on him to watch over her anytime I’m not around. I don’t want to punch his throat anytime I see him hug her or her lean her head on his shoulder. Lynae hasn’t had many males she can truly trust, so for her to let him in and feel like she can be free around him is a big deal for her. Don’t get me wrong, she is close with Marcus and Wade plenty, but something is different about Seth. It's probably him being there for her during the short time we were apart after the big fight.
I nod in his direction as I pat my pants pocket one more time. “Thanks. I really appreciate it. I just can’t wait to get this fucking set over and get to dinner. I’m freaking here.”
“Just grow some balls and do it.” Wade smirks while he drags his bass out of the case in the closet.
I don’t know what it is, but Wade’s crude way of putting things always sets me at ease. I just need to relax and get through tonight and things will be fine.
“Come on guys, we’re up!” Marcus calls out as he walks past us towards the stage entrance.
~
The bass thumping and the beat of Seth’s drums hammers in my heart. This is the best we've performed in a long time. I know it has to do with the caramel-eyed beauty sitting directly to my left. Exactly where she was sitting the very first time she saw me sing. This time, her focus is centered entirely on me. My eyes only leave hers for a few seconds at a time. I can’t help but stare at her. She was gorgeous when I first noticed her, but now, she is more beautiful than I have ever seen.
Shameful Regret goes through our usual covers with more of our original songs mixed in. We have really been hitting it hard with writing. The paperwork I had been working on with Rich earlier was securing a deal to perform at Metro every Saturday night for the next six months. This will give us a guaranteed paycheck and give Rich guaranteed shows. All of the support Rich has given us over the years, it wasn’t a question of if we would sign the contract with him when he asked, just “Where is the pen?” The guys all love and respect him, and he has been nothing but helpful to us. Knowing we have a spot to perform at without having to audition gives us a platform to really work on our own music. A place to try it out.
But right now, we are doing a new cover. I heard this song the day I decided I couldn’t wait anymore to make Lynae my wife. The words and power behind it sum up our relationship perfectly. She hasn’t heard us perform it before. I made sure we only practiced it while she was at work, so this will be the first time she hears it. I’m nervous as hell, but excited at the same time. I hope she gets it too. I swear this was written just for us.
Looking back at Seth and Wade behind me, to Marcus at my right, I nod my head, signaling to them it’s time for the song I’ve been dying to perform for her. I turn my attention back to the crowd, then capture Lynae’s eyes as I address the fans.
“Thank you so much for coming out to see Shameful Regret tonight. You all totally kick ass! Right now, I want to sing something for my girl.” I point to the table where my sweetness is sitting, and I can see the blush overtake her face. “I love that woman with my entire heart. This one is for her.”
I don’t take my eyes from Lynae at all as I sing “Fade Into Me” by David Cook. And her eyes never waver from me either. Our souls are locked together in this powerful hold that the lyrics have over us. I see in the depths of her eyes that she gets it. She can hear how much I love her and how much I feel for her. As the last words leave my lips, I know deep down in my bones that I can’t wait anymore. This moment is the moment.
Right here.
Right now.
“I know you guys are expecting a few more songs from us, but I have to take a small break for a minute,” I say to the screaming crowd in front of us, without looking way from my sweetness.
Marcus, Wade and Seth don’t say anything to me. They can feel that this is the moment too.
Turning my body so I’m facing the left side of the stage, I smile down at Lynae. “It has been a very long and hard road for us. It hasn’t been easy. But then again, love never is.” I swallow against the lump forming in my throat. You can do this, Connor. Just say the words. “I love every single part of you with every single part of me. I love your smile, your tears, your heart, your everything in between.” I look down and see Lynae is smiling up at me with tears streaming down her face as she mouths ‘I love you too.’
“I wanted to wait until tonight. I wanted to give you the fairytale with candles and romance and soft music. I can’t wait anymore. Lynae, you fell into my life without warning. You told me once that you were broken and that you needed me to make you whole. Sweetness, you were never the broken one, I was. You heal me, love me and make me feel again.”
I hop off the stage and make my way to the table where she's sitting with her hands over her mouth. Michelle and Gabbi are standing off to her right crying and Sly is standing to her left with a knowing smile. When I’m standing directly in front of her, I pull out the ring that's been burning a hole in my pocket for days and drop to one knee.
“I know I don’t deserve you and I’ve told you before what a selfish bastard I am, so I don’t care. Kara Lynae Michaels, will you marry me?”
I hold my breath while I look up at her. Tears steadily stream down her face and I swear it sounds like not a soul is making any noise in the club. I’m suddenly flat on my back as Lynae launches herself at me from her stool. She's straddling my lap and planting kisses all over my face in between many whispered "Yeses" as she clings to me. I wrap my arms around her back and hold her to me. It feels like our hearts are beating as one against our chests. When she lifts her face up from mine, I look deep into her eyes. I see love, acceptance, passion, and most of all, I see fire blazing back at me.
“Yes, Connor. I will marry you. A thousand times yes.”
The roar of the crowd and exclamations from our friends surrounding us vaguely registers in the background as I move into a sitting position. Lynae wraps her legs completely around my waist and I move my hands into her thick mane of hair after I slip the ring on her finger. Tipping her head back, so she's gazing up at me, I lean forward and slant my mouth over hers. Tongues dancing and mingling, fighting and submitting. This kiss is full of
hunger and power. She gives as much as she takes. The passion within her knows no bounds.
I’m not sure exactly how I manage to stand us up while Lynae is still wrapped around me like a vine on a tree, but I walk straight to the back hallway where she quite literally fell into my life. I press her back against the brick walls and I continue to make love to her mouth with abandon. My hands are now firmly planted on her ass and I know she can feel my arousal through my jeans. Those damn leggings she's wearing leave none of her curves to the imagination. I want nothing more than to strip her bare and have my wicked way with her, but a swift kick in the belly draws my attention.
I quickly pull my mouth away from hers and look down at her with heaving breaths. “It kicked me,” I say. She giggles and bites down on her bottom lip. The baby kicked me.
Gently, I help her lower her feet to the floor and step away from her. God, I hope I didn’t hurt the baby when I was pushing my weight against her. Lynae continues giggling. I take her chin in my hand and tip her up so she is looking me in the eye. “What are you laughing at? Are you okay?”
“I’m more than okay. That was the first time I felt the baby kick. I’m so glad you were here and got to feel it too.” Lynae stands up on her tiptoes and kisses my chin. “I think Jellybean is happy we’re engaged.”
Engaged. I’m engaged to the woman that has brought light back to my dark soul. I’m going to be a father. I know this thought would scare most men shitless, but all it does is make my heart beat in my chest with so much love. More love than I ever thought possible.
I look down into Lynae’s shimmering eyes so full of love and acceptance that I can’t stand it anymore. I need her. I need to get her home so I can make love to her. Fuck the rest of the set. I pull out my phone and text Seth. I know he has his phone in his pocket. The stage has been quiet the last few minutes since I ran off and dragged Lynae back to this hallway.
“Let’s go,” I say hungrily.
She smiles up at me and lets me take her hand to lead her out the back. She doesn’t ask about finishing the set or telling our friends we’re leaving. She happily follows me.
As we make it backstage, I hear Wade laughingly shout into the microphone “Sorry y’all. Lover boy can’t keep it in his pants any longer. He’s taking off. I’m sure you’ll forgive him.” Then the house DJ takes over.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lynae
The past few months have flown by like a whirlwind. I can’t believe I’m in my eighth month of pregnancy. I feel like a beached whale, but Connor keeps telling me I’m gorgeous and even more beautiful now than the moment he first laid eyes on me. I know he's full of shit, but I will let him keep telling me everything I want to hear right now. Don’t get me wrong, I love being pregnant. I love feeling Jellybean moving around inside me. All the flipping and kicking feels amazing, but I am ready for this little wiggle worm to get out of me. I’ve worked up until this past week. My back can’t take being on my feet anymore, and everyone at work was tired of worrying that I would pop at any moment.
I’m sitting on the couch in Connor’s apartment— no, not Connor’s apartment, our apartment — while Sly and Marcus finish bringing the last of my boxes up the stairs. I finally let him talk me into moving in with him. I wanted to stay in my apartment, but when he explained that while I was on maternity leave, it would be so much easier for us if we were at his place above the garage while he was working; it made more sense. He could still work every day, but he would be right downstairs if I needed him for anything. Besides, I was staying over at least four nights a week anyway since we got engaged. He doesn’t want to be far away from me if I go into labor early.
Sly ended up taking over the lease on my apartment, and since it was time to renew my lease anyway, it was a very easy transition. Wade kept claiming he wanted to still stay here, but when I reminded him how much babies whine and cry at all hours of the night, he quickly asked Marcus if he could move in with him. I don’t know why he doesn’t just move in with Gabbi, but they seem to be having an on and off again sort of relationship. Something is going on with them, but I’m not quite sure what it is. They seemed so happy at first, but now things seemed a little strained.
We’ve turned Wade’s room into the nursery. Seth and Connor are in there now attempting to finish putting the crib together. And from all the yelling and cursing I hear coming from the room, I think things aren’t going so well. Daddy helped put together the changing table and the dresser, but Connor insisted he wanted to be the one to put the crib up. He’s such a man. Completely hardheaded and stubborn. Seth and Wade finished painting yesterday, and it looks great. We decided to go with a soft minty green color. It’s calming and it made me happy, so Connor said that’s what we were going to do. I can’t wait to see the entire finished room. Which, I’m hoping will be soon. Like, in the next hour or so. My baby shower is this afternoon.
Instead of doing the typical “ladies only” baby shower, we are having a big cook out with all the guys, my coworkers, some of the people from Metro who've become really close friends since Shameful Regret has a standing Saturday gig with them, and a few of the other officers Daddy works with. Sly helped Daddy load up the grill in the back of his truck, and they're planning on grilling burgers, hot dogs and some steaks. I wanted low-key and easy.
Michelle is in charge of decorations, and it looks like Pepto-Bismol and blue cotton candy exploded all over the place. We decided we didn’t want to find out what the gender is, even though all of our friends really want to know. Michelle and Gabbi keep claiming they need to know so they can start planning the baby’s wardrobe. It’s a baby, not a fashionista.
I really want to get up and help, but I get yelled at every single time my feet touch the floor. Seriously, I tried to get up just to walk to the bathroom just so I could pee and Sly picked me up mid-stride and plopped me back down on the couch telling me to stay put. Of course, I got right back up and went to the bathroom and threatened to kick Seth in the balls if he so much as touched me when he came out and said something about me being up. I guess the pregnancy hormones have me feeling a little violent lately.
“Babe, we got that damn crib up. Where did you put all the sheets and shit?” Connor asks, wiping his forehead with the bottom of his shirt as he walks out of the nursery. He laughs at me when he catches me staring at his abs. I swear they have to be the gold standard to which all abs are compared to. They're stunning. “Earth to Lynae! Where’s the baby bedding stuff? I know you want that room completely fixed up before everyone gets here.”
I move to sit up, and I give him the death glare when he looks like he's about to tell me to stay put. After I swing my legs over and onto the floor, I hold my hands out for him to pull me up. “I’ll get them. They're in our closet next to my box of shoes.”
After Connor pulls me to my feet and thoroughly kisses me, I go retrieve the bedding and walk back into the nursery. It looks absolutely beautiful. They did so much more than I thought they were going to do with the painting. All along the top of the wall, just below the ceiling, they have put up a wallpaper border that looks like sheet music. The mobile hanging above the crib has a little microphone, guitar, drums and musical notes. There is a big white rocking chair facing the window, and on the dresser, there is a picture of Momma holding me when I was a baby.
I’m still standing in the doorway looking around at the furniture, the paint, and the little touches here and there I hadn’t seen because the guys insisted I didn’t need to be in there breathing the paint fumes. I can’t believe that a bunch of rock stars have put this together. I feel Connor come up behind me and wrap his arms around me. His hands settle on my belly. He seems to always have his hands on my belly any time he is near me. And every time, Jellybean starts kicking up a storm.
“You like it, baby?” Connor kisses from the back of my neck up to just behind my ear. “I want it to be perfect for you.”
I nod my head and lean back into his strong body. “It's perf
ect.”
~
“Okay, y’all, food’s ready!” Daddy calls up the stairs. “Someone get their ass down here and help me!”
Michelle is curled up on top of Sly’s lap in the oversized chair, and Wade and Gabbi seem to be getting along at the moment, considering they're cuddled in the corner, making out. That leaves Connor and Seth to walk down there to help him out since I’m playing hostess to everyone who's here and wants a tour of the apartment. I finish showing the last few guests around and walk back into the living room just as the guys and Daddy are bringing the rest of the food up.
It seems so surreal to see this crazy group of people mingling together. All of my coworkers came, a few of our doctors, Trey, Felicity, and Rich from Metro, and a couple guys that work with Daddy down at the station are all mixing and talking. I would have thought this would have been a segregated group, but everyone is having fun, laughing and enjoying themselves.
We eat way too much food, and I listen to the couples who are already parents sharing stories and tips about childbirth and raising kids. When it’s time for the cake, I’m totally surprised. Michelle and Gabbi went to Mother Fluckers and had a three tier cheesecake made. Dean made the bottom layer out of my favorite lemon-almond, the middle layer is a blueberry swirl, and the top is a strawberry and raspberry swirl. It looks almost too good to eat. Almost. You think a pregnant woman isn’t going to attack a ginormous cheesecake? Yeah, right.
Seth comes to sit beside me and bumps my shoulder with his. “I remembered how much you liked that place, and I told Michelle and Gabbi you would much rather have this than a regular cake.”
I look over at Connor standing in the kitchen laughing with Sly while they're getting plates out, smiling at me before I look back to Seth. I lean my head on his shoulder. “Thanks, love. You really are the best.”