by Carnal, MJ
“Not tonight, handsome,” Tara tells him, batting her lashes.
His hand goes over his heart as he flops back down in the bed and winces. “You wound me, Blondie.”
“I’m sure your ego will be okay.” She smiles.
Tara is really beautiful. She has that whole Southern belle look going for her—long, blond hair, big, blue eyes, and a cute personality. Actually, looking between the two of them, I see Ken and Barbie.
“You need to be careful with that shoulder,” I scold Finn as he winces again when he sits up.
“I could go home with you and you could look after me.” He grins, making me roll my eyes.
“Sorry, but I promised my roommate I wouldn’t take my work home with me.” I start laughing, thinking about Kenton and what he would do if I showed up with a guy who had a gunshot wound.
“Your roommate sucks,” Finn mutters.
“Tell me about it,” I reply with a smile.
A second later, my body goes solid when the voice behind me hits my ears. “What the fuck is going on, Autumn?”
I close my eyes slowly, hoping that I’m wrong. When I turn my head, four large guys are standing near the door and none other than Kenton is standing in the middle of them.
“Autumn?” one of the guys says. My eyes go to him and he smiles. “Shit, boss. This is the Autumn who works at ‘Vander’s Belt’?” He laughs loudly, his eyes going back and forth between Kenton and me.
My eyes shift back to Kenton, seeing his jaw tick. “Um...” I mumble, taking a step back.
“Vanderbilt,” Kenton pronounces, his voice a low rumble. The anger in the one spoken word rolls against my skin, creating goose bumps. “Do not fucking move,” he demands when I start to take another step back.
My body freezes in place as I watch him move towards me, his eyes locked on mine. I feel stuck in place under his glare.
When he’s within touching distance, his hand wraps around my bicep and his mouth comes to my ear. “No more fucking ignoring me,” he growls.
If the wetness in my panties is anything to go by, I like his aggression. I look at Dr. D, who is looking at Kenton with his mouth hanging open, and when his eyes come to mine, he bites his lip. Apparently, he is not going to be any help.
Kenton drags me out of the room and down the hall. He stops at the first door we pass, and his hand that’s not holding me goes to the handle. Finding it unlocked, he leans into the room before tugging me in with him.
“What are you doing?” I ask when I get over the shock of seeing him here.
“You said you worked at a fucking strip club,” he says, letting me go.
“I never said that.” I shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest, watching him pace back and forth in front of me like a caged beast.
“You’re a nurse?” He stops across the room, watching me. His eyes travel from the top of my head to my sneaker-covered feet.
“I am, but it changes nothing," I hiss, leaning forward.
He storms towards me and I retreat until my back hits the wall. Before I can register the move, his mouth is on mine, his hand twists in the hair at the back of my head, and I gasp. He takes the opportunity to lick into my mouth. I try to fight him; I try to pull my mouth away, but his grip on my hair tightens. When he bites my tongue, I lose it.
I kiss him back, and all the anger I feel towards him goes into that kiss. I bite his lips, bottom then top, and claw my nails through his hair. He growls down my throat, his big body pressing me harder into the wall. We each fight for dominance, but he wins, pinning me in place, his body overtaking mine.
When he pulls his mouth from mine we’re breathing heavily, both still holding each other close. I can feel every hard inch of him pressed to every soft inch of me. He places his forehead to mine and it takes a few seconds to come back to myself. My eyes open, meeting his.
"This changes nothing," I tell him quietly, my lips still tingling from his kiss.
"You’re right." He takes a breath, his lips moving closer to mine. “You fucking changed everything."
“Back up.” I push against his chest only to have him press harder into me.
“You don’t get to push me away. You don’t get to lie to me, even if it’s by omission.”
“I never lied to you,” I mumble, looking away from him.
“‘Vander’s Belt’—that’s not a fucking lie?” His hand comes up to my cheek, forcing my eyes back to him.
Okay, so I might have fibbed, but it wasn’t a lie. “You’re an asshole,” I tell him, still pushing against his chest.
“Call me what you want, but I know you feel this thing between us too. Don’t fucking lie to yourself.”
“The only thing I feel towards you is anger,” I growl.
Then his mouth comes back down on mine, stealing my breath. This kiss is more punishing than the previous one; and I whimper when he pulls away. My hands, which were trying to push him away, are now wrapped into his T-shirt.
His mouth goes to my ear. “If I stuck my hand between your legs, your pussy would be wet and wanting.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to get rid of that image. My eyes fly open when his hand cups me over the thin material of my scrubs.
“So hot.” His fingers press harder, and I stand on my tiptoes, trying to get away from what he’s making me feel.
Part of me wants to jump up, wrap my legs around his hips, and grind myself into him. The other part of me wants to kick him in the nuts and scream in his face for having the power he has.
~~*
Kenton
I look down into her big, blue eyes and groan. Fuck me. She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever looked at. She’s perfect, and I don’t just mean on the outside; I mean on the inside too. She’s sweet in a way that is hard to believe, especially coming from her lifestyle.
I tried to keep my distance after I picked her up at the airport and got reminded of what she did for a living, but when she was around, I couldn’t help but want to soak up a little bit of her time. She’s not what I expected. She’s not what I wanted, but fuck me if she’s not what I need.
From the moment I saw her, I wanted her. I walked into the airport knowing that she wasn’t expecting me. I’d messaged Link earlier in the day telling him to let her know I wouldn’t be picking her up. I’d had a lead on a case and thought I wouldn’t make it in time, and I didn’t want her waiting for me.
When I spotted her long, red hair in the crowd, I watched her run for one of her bags. I couldn’t help but laugh when she fell forward and landed on the belt before being dragged with it. She didn’t give up though. She pulled it off the conveyor belt over her head, falling backwards with the weight of it. She was cute.
When we got into the car and I sat down next to her, the doors closed and her smell suffocated me. Her long-ass legs in her shorts made it hard to concentrate on the road, and then I asked her about how she knew Link. I may get around, but I didn’t like the idea of her being with someone who was a friend for some reason, and then she reminded me that she worked at a strip club, throwing all ideas of getting to know her out the window.
I look over her face again and shake my head. I have fucked up with her in ways that even thinking about them makes me sick. I don’t have an issue with strippers in general, but I know what happens at strip clubs. I do understand that not all women are the same and there are dancers who work in clubs to make money and nothing more, but I also know that there are some who go home with men at the end of the night or are willing to go a little further in order to make a little extra cash.
“Step back,” she says, and I shake my head, pressing deeper into her.
She smells like flowers or something sweet. I have wanted to be this close to her for a long time. Now that I’ve got her where I want her, I’m not backing off.
“Why are you doing this?” she asks softly, squeezing her eyes closed.
“I want you. I want to get to know you.”
“No,” she b
reathes, shaking her head.
“Yes.” I press her harder into the wall.
“The things I know about you, I don’t like.”
I know she’s just being honest, but it doesn’t mean that it makes my chest ache any less. I don’t know her well, but the parts of her she has let me see have been sweet, feisty, and so fucking cute that I have had to stop myself from kissing her when she laughs or does something that makes me smile.
The look in her eyes when she walked into my office when I was talking to Nico on the phone still haunts me. I know that my cousin was trying to make me see that I was interested in her, but I didn’t need his help with that. I knew I wanted her; I just didn’t know how I could deal with my jealousy. The thought of men looking at her or touching her makes me feel homicidal.
When she spoke, her words tore me open. I knew that, regardless of my own fears, I needed to find a way to deal with it or I’d lose her before I ever even got to have her. Then I went to Nico’s house and saw him with Sophie and how close they had gotten. The way she looked at him like he had the power to turn on the sun had me feeling jealous. I wanted that for myself.
Nico was right in telling me to get my head out of my ass. He told me that if I wanted something, I had to take it; I couldn’t ever let anyone or anything hold me back. I want Autumn more than I’ve wanted anything before. I wanted her even before I knew she was a nurse. I would be proud to take her home to meet my family. My parents and sister would love her.
“Give me a chance.”
“I can’t. You’ve already said so many cruel things to me. I can’t willingly open myself up for more of that from you.”
“You know the night I made you dinner, when you told me it was the first time you had been happy in a long time? You weren’t the only one who felt that,” I gently confess to her.
“I was drunk. Isn’t everyone happy when they’re drunk?”
I laugh and her eyes meet mine. “Don’t lie to yourself.”
“I’m not. You’re lying to yourself. I’m a stripper, remember? I may not be one now, but I was. I can’t change that.” She shakes her head, causing her hair to slide against my skin.
How many nights have I lay in bed thinking about her hair spread out around her while she sleeps or hanging over me as she rides me to completion?
“I shouldn’t have said what I said. I should’ve been man enough to admit what I was feeling for you. I said some fuckedup shit in order to cover up how I really felt.”
“I don’t know,” she says, confusion lacing her voice.
“We’ll take it slow. I just need you to stop avoiding me. I need to be able to talk to you, to see your face,” I practically beg, pushing her hair out of her face.
“Friends?” she suggests with a tilt of her head.
“More than friends, baby, but we can start out as friends.” I lift her chin to look into her eyes.
~~*
Autumn
Our eyes meet and I shake my head. Friends? Can I be friends with him? Probably…and it would probably be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.
His hand runs along the underside of my jaw, his thumb touching my bottom lip.
“I don’t know,” I repeat, closing my eyes. “Why?” I don’t know if I’m asking him or myself, but I just don’t know why I feel this pull towards him.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asks, leaning into me.
Heartbreak is the first thing that comes to mind.
“Autumn?”
I jump at the sound of Derik’s voice and lean around Kenton’s wide frame so I can see the door. My eyes meet Derik’s, and then his go to Kenton before settling back on me.
“Sorry, but I gotta go and can’t leave Tara on the floor alone,” Derik says.
“I’m coming right now,” I tell him, trying to duck away from Kenton, whose hold on my hip tightens.
“I’ll see you Saturday night,” Derik says, closing the door.
“What’s Saturday night?” Kenton asks, and I feel his fingers dig into my skin.
“We’re going out,” I tell him, trying to step away again.
“A date?” The word ‘date’ spits out of his mouth like it tastes bad.
“We’re going to a club or something.” I shrug, attempting to move again.
“What club?”
“I have to work. I don’t have time to play Twenty Questions with you right now,” I state, finally wiggling out of his embrace.
“You’ll have dinner with me on Sunday,” he says rather than asks.
“I have plans.”
“With who?” he growls, his jaw grinding.
“Viv,” I tell him exasperatedly.
“Viv?” He raises an eyebrow at me.
“Yes, Viv. Now I really need to go.” I put my hand on the doorknob to open it.
“Don’t think we’re done talking,” he says close to my ear, startling me.
I look over my shoulder and our eyes meet. I nervously lick my bottom lip and his eyes drop to my mouth. He leans in, and I’m frozen in place. His mouth softly brushes mine and he leans back, looking at me again.
“See you at home, baby,” he whispers, making it sound almost like a threat. He smiles, showing off the small dimple that fascinates me.
I inhale a deep breath and nod. My insides are going crazy, my heart beating double-time.
I walk down the hall towards the nurses’ station, trying to ignore the fact I can hear his boots behind me. I spot Tara, and her eyes go big when she looks over my shoulder. When they come back to me, she smiles an odd smile and I shake my head in a slight move, letting her know to hush.
As soon as I make it to the desk, a bell goes off and I practically yell that I’ll go check on the patient. Tara doesn’t say anything. She just nods, and I make my way quickly down the hall to the patient’s room. I take my time in the room, making sure everything’s taken care of before going back to the nurses’ station. I walk around the corner and see that the area’s empty except for Tara. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Who the hell is Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome, and where the hell did he take you?” Tara asks as soon as I take a seat. I try to think of a way I can avoid answering that question before looking at her. “Please tell me you are sleeping with him regularly.”
“Oh God.” I cover my face with my hands.
“What? Oh no… Please tell me he isn’t one of those guys who look all hot and yummy, but then you get to the package and get a surprise…and it’s not a good one.” She sits back in her chair, shaking her head in disappointment.
“He’s just a guy who’s been letting me stay with him,” I tell her, hoping she’ll drop it.
“So, you’re not together?” Her eyebrows come together in confusion. “I would’ve sworn he was your man with the show he put on earlier.”
“Nope.” I shake my head frantically.
“Sooo…you live together, but you’re not together?”
“Yes.”
“How the hell can you live with someone who looks like that and not jump their bones?” she asks, dumbfounded.
“He’s an ass. Trust me—it’s not as hard as you think it is.”
“I can see that.” She nods in understanding, her eyes searching my face. “You know he wants you, right?”
“No, he doesn’t.”
“Oh hell yeah, he does. You should have seen the way he was looking at you and then the way he was watching your ass when you guys were walking down the hall. He wants you, girl, and he doesn’t look like he is the kind of guy you can put off for very long. Not only that, but why in the world would you want to put him off in the first place? If I were you, I would be waiting for him naked on my hands and knees when he got home and walked through the front door.”
“Can we not talk about this?” I ask pleadingly. The images that are now in my head of Kenton and me have started a small throbbing in my core.
“Are we still going out Saturday?” she a
sks, reading my face.
“Yes,” I respond immediately.
“Good. I need to get out.”
“Me too,” I say softly before getting back to work. The rest of the night I spend quietly trying to think of a way to avoid going home.
~~*
“Oh my God, you have to try this,” Tara says, shoving a drink in my face.
We got to the club about ten minutes ago, and after making it inside, we fought our way to the bar for a drink and to wait for Derik and his boyfriend to show up.
“What is it?” I ask, leaning away from her before taking the drink from her hand.
“An All-American Root Beer. It’s so good. You can’t even taste the Jack,” she promises.
I put the straw to my lips before taking a small sip. She’s right; it’s sweet and I can’t taste any kind of alcohol. “It’s really good!” I shout close to her ear.
She takes the drink back from me, lifting it up to the bartender while holding up two fingers. He nods in understanding as Tara sits back down next to me.
“So, how have you and Mr. Hot Guy been?”
I bite my lip and think about that question. How are Kenton and me? Well, I’m still trying to avoid him, and he seems more determined than before to not let me avoid him. Before, he would leave me notes or texts, but now, I have to deal with him face to face.
Like last night. I went downstairs to get something to eat, and when I walked into the kitchen, he was there. I couldn’t exactly leave without making it obvious that I was dodging him, so I went about making myself a sandwich. The only problem was that, every time I turned around, his body would rub against me or his mouth would come close to my ear when he spoke. No matter what I did, he was there in my space. By the time I left the kitchen, I was a huge mess and had to take another shower. I still can’t figure out why he affects me the way he does.