Steve came out of the stable just as she took off running. At once, he saw what was happening and threw himself against the fence, holding out his arms in readiness to grab her. "Jump, Raven. I've got you."
She leaped for him, and he swung her up and over just as Starfire came to a halt right behind her in a cloud of dust. He reared up, mighty forelegs striking at the air as he gave a loud whinny of fury. Then he began to gallop around the ring, shaking with the indignity of it all.
Steve exploded. "What are you trying to do, get yourself killed? I told you to stay away from that horse."
She had never seen him so mad, not even the fateful day he had found out she wasn't really a boy. His face was red, his mouth was twitching, and his hands, clenched into fists at his side, were shaking.
"It's nothing to get so upset about," she said, slapping at her skirt to try and brush away some of the dirt from her fall. Then, because he was still looking at her as if he could choke her, she flashed a smile to add, "Besides, I actually did stay on a few seconds."
"You little fool." He grabbed her shoulders and gave her a shake. "How many times do you have to be told? He's a one-man horse! He won't even let me ride him, and there's never been a horse I couldn't break. He wasn't thinking about a damn thing except how he was going to try to kill you."
She jerked away from him, her own ire beginning to rise. "You aren't supposed to break him. That's not the way."
He snorted. "Well, I sure as hell didn't see you doing it your way."
"Well, you sure as hell will one day," she fired right back.
"God, you are stubborn." He took off his hat and slammed it to the ground, then picked it up and dusted it off and put it back on, looked at her again, and shook his head in disgust. "Don't you realize if I hadn't forgotten something and come back you might not have made it over the fence before that horse stomped down on you?"
"I was going to dive under it. And I would have made it," she said confidently. "Thanks for what you did, but I'd have managed on my own."
"Maybe. But I don't have time to argue with you. I'm on my way to Mobile."
She followed him as he went back in the stable. "Why are you going there?" She hated the thought.
"I need a break, and Belle is due to foal in a couple of days, and I don't dare leave her after tonight."
"Well, don't let me keep you," she said. She shouldn't have been so snappy, but didn't care. She hurried away before she broke into tears to think of him on his way to some other woman's bed.
He stared after her till she was almost to the house, wondering why she was so cranky about his going to town. Maybe she was envious that he had freedom she no longer had. After all, she had been on her own for a long time.
He could also not help wondering what she would think if she knew the only reason he was going to Mobile was to get as far away from her as possible for a while. He would have a few beers. Maybe play some cards. Talk to some of his friends. But he wouldn't be paying a visit to Hedda or any other woman. Feeling as he did about Raven, no matter how hard he fought it, another woman just wouldn't do.
* * *
It was after midnight when Mariah woke Raven to tell her Jasper was at the back door, wanting to see her. "I hate to disturb you, but Master Julius won't help him, and he says to ask if you will."
"Help him do what?" Raven sat up and rubbed her eyes. She had not been asleep for very long and was groggy. Her father hadn't fallen asleep right after supper as he usually did, and she had sat reading to him till late.
"It's that mare of Miss Lisbeth's."
Now she was wide awake. "What about her?"
"Jasper said she's in trouble, and Mister Steve went to Mobile and won't be back till day, so he sent Elijah to Master Julius, but he told him he didn't know what to do and to leave him alone. Jasper don't dare let Master Ned know, or he'd try to help, and he just ain't able."
"No, he isn't." Raven was already up and throwing on her clothes, bristling to think of Steve in the arms of some woman while Belle was foaling early and having problems, just as she had feared. But there was no time to think about that now. "Tell Jasper I'll be there as soon as I can."
* * *
Lisbeth could not sleep. It was hot, and there was not even the hint of a breeze coming through the doors. She got out of bed and walked out on the veranda, thinking it might be cooler.
At first, she thought she was imagining things. Then, gripping the railing and straining to see in the light of a half-moon, she saw Raven running across the lawn in the direction of the stables.
So, she thought with smug satisfaction; she had been right. Raven and Steve were lovers, and she was on her way to meet him in his room. Now Lisbeth had seen them, and all she had to do was give them a little time and then she would walk right in and catch them in the act. She knew her way around up there now. She would not be stumbling and bumping into anything. They wouldn't know she was anywhere around till it was too late.
She was confident Ned would be so infuriated when she told him that he would banish them both. Halcyon would again be destined to belong solely to her and Julius. She would have her revenge on Steve for spurning her, and Julius would have to admit she was smarter than he was, because she had been the one to ultimately figure out a way to get rid of Raven.
She hugged herself with delight.
Chapter 16
Raven knew that foaling was ordinarily a quick process, and, if all went well, was usually over in about half an hour. The mare would break out into a sweat, appear uneasy, get up and down a few times, and then begin to strain. After a while, if no part of the foal appeared, it was a sure sign something was wrong.
"You say she's been like this for over an hour?" she asked Jasper.
"Maybe longer. I'm so scared I've lost track of time. It's gonna break Master Ned's heart if this horse dies."
She rolled up her sleeves. "We aren't going to let that happen." She sounded braver than she felt, because time was important when a mare was having problems. Even a short delay could mean her death as well as the foal's, so there wasn't a second to lose. It appeared Belle had been suffering for quite a while.
A quick examination confirmed her fears that the foal was in the wrong position. Normally, forelegs arrived first with the nose lying on them. In a breech, the hind legs would be first. Any other position meant danger if the foal couldn't be turned, which was what she now faced. "Joshua, run to the kitchen and bring back a bucket of lard. And hurry."
While she waited, she attempted to soothe Belle by stroking her neck and talking to her in a gentle voice. Belle's eyes gleamed with fright, and she was sweating profusely as Raven rubbed her.
Josh returned, and as Raven slathered her hands and forearms with the creamy white lard, she tried to remember everything the army doctor had told her when she had helped him once with a hard foaling at the reservation. He said there was lots of room farther up inside the mare, and the foal had to be pushed back before trying to reach for a leg, which could be bent down. Or she might have to draw forward a twisted-back head.
"Get a good grip on her now," Raven urged. "I'm going to try to turn the foal."
Bracing herself, she tried not to hear Belle's painful grunts and prayed Joshua had a tight hold or she might get kicked in the face.
Time seemed to stand still as she manipulated her slick fingers, but finally, with a gasp of triumph, she fastened about a leg and began to tug gently. "I've got it. Praise God, I've got it."
Slowly, patiently, she succeeded in finding the other foreleg and carefully maneuvered it into position. "Joshua, you can let go," she said breathlessly, moving back. "It's up to Belle now."
In seconds, the foal slipped into the world, and Raven was struck with wonder, as always, to witness the miracle of birth.
Joshua had tears in his eyes. "You done it, Missy Raven, you really done it! Praise the Lord. Belle's fine, and she's got herself a fine colt."
They laughed with joy as they watched him stru
ggle to stand on wobbly legs and finally take his first uncertain steps.
Raven knew she was a mess. Her arms were covered in blood and lard and so was her dress. She was anxious to go take a bath, but she needed to tell Joshua to give Belle time to rest a bit and then try to get the colt to nurse. "If he doesn't seem to want to, a little honey smeared on her will help. I'll be back as soon as I can—"
A thin scream startled them both.
Lisbeth was standing in the doorway, her hands pressed against her cheeks in horror as she cried, "Oh, look at you! What have you done? You're covered in—" She could not say it and shook her head wildly from side to side as she squeezed her eyes shut.
"I just delivered Belle's colt," Raven told her proudly. "They're both fine."
"Thanks to Miss Raven," Joshua added. "If not for her, your mare would've died for sure. The colt too. He was turned wrong, but Miss Raven, she didn't bat an eye. She reached in and turned him around and—"
"Stop it." Lisbeth moved her hands to cover her ears. "I don't want to hear about it. And you"—she glared at Raven in disgust—"should be ashamed. A lady would—oh, what's the use? You'll never be a lady. It's impossible. You are impossible."
Raven was stunned because she had thought Lisbeth would be happy everything turned out all right. "I had to help," she said. "Steve's not here, and Belle was in trouble."
"You should have let Joshua take care of it."
Joshua was quick to protest. "Oh, lordy, Miss Lisbeth, I couldn't have done what she did. I've seen Mister Steve turn foals, but I wouldn't dare try."
Lisbeth ignored him. Raven was making her stomach roll, because the sight of blood always made her sick. "You can't go back to the house till you've had a bath."
"But where can I take one?" Raven asked anxiously.
"There's a place out back where the overseers wash sometimes. They won't be up at this hour, so you can use it. I'll send a servant with fresh clothing and towels, but don't you dare leave here till you've cleaned yourself up. And don't let me hear you complain about cold water either. It would take too long to heat some up."
Joshua felt sorry for Raven. After Miss Lisbeth left, he tried to make her feel better. "It's really a nice place. Probably better than a tub. Mister Steve built it. It's got walls around it, and a rope that runs up to buckets overhead. I'll go fill them up with water, and you just yank the cord when you need some. I'm sorry it won't be hot."
Raven didn't care. She was too lost in misery that she'd made Lisbeth mad at her again. She wished she would appreciate what she'd done but knew she never would. The truth was, Lisbeth did not like her, did not want her there, and nothing Raven did was ever going to change that.
Things would probably get worse if she decided to stay, and more and more she was wondering if she should. By rights, Halcyon was her home. Her father wanted her to have it. So why should she turn her back on what was hers for—what? No matter how resourceful she was, it would be a constant struggle to survive as a woman, for never again would she be content to pretend to be a boy.
She did not have the answers. Perhaps she never would. But for the time being, she resolved to take one day at a time and do the best she could and continue to try to make Lisbeth change her mind about her. Julius was a different situation, because she did not like his subtle advances and the way he looked at her.
And all the while, she thought dismally, she would be trying not to dwell on the other futility of her life, her longing for Steve.
A few moments later, Joshua brought her out of her fretting to tell her, "Everything's fine. The colt is nursing. I filled up the buckets. And somebody brought clean clothes for you. So I'll get on now and come back in a few hours to see how Belle and the little one are getting along."
Raven thanked him and found her way out the back door of the barn. There, just as Joshua had described, was the contraption Steve had made. She had seen it before without realizing what it was.
She went inside and closed the door behind her.
There was no lock but she wasn't concerned, since no one was up and stirring yet.
Peeling out of her filthy clothes, she tossed them in a corner, then glanced up to see there were three ropes, each connected to a bucket. She gave one a yank and squealed softly as the icy water cascaded over her.
She found a bar of soap and began to lather all over, scrubbing vigorously. She took her time, dreading the next frigid splash of water.
Focused on what she was doing, Raven did not hear anyone moving around inside the barn.
Steve beamed at the sight of the newborn colt suckling and patted Belle on her rump. "Good job, girl. He's a fine one. I'm sorry I wasn't around, but I had no idea you'd drop early." He saw the bucket of lard and looked around for Joshua, wondering why it had been needed.
But he was nowhere around. Then he heard the sound of water splashing from out back. The bathing stall he'd built was only for himself and the overseers, not the slaves, and Joshua knew it but probably figured he'd get by with it since Steve was gone. Steve didn't care if he wanted to clean himself up right away, but he was going to teach him a lesson. The shock of cold water was bad enough when a man was expecting it, but to throw a bucket on him when he wasn't would be even worse—which was what Steve had in mind.
The lantern over the stall was burning, providing light for bathing. Steve quietly pulled up the bench nearby, not noticing the bundle of clothing on the end of it.
He stepped up. The top of the wall came to his chest, and he reached out to yank the cord controlling the water bucket closest to him. At the same time he looked down and choked on a gasp to see it wasn't Joshua. It was Raven. But she did not see him, because she had soap on her face and had squeezed her eyes shut.
He loomed over her, unable to tear his gaze away as he feasted on the sight of her naked. And, as he continued to stare, heat moved over him to settle in his loins. God, how he wanted her!
But he was not watching what he was doing, and his hand brushed against a bucket, and that's all it took for it to tip over and dump cold water all over her.
She gasped, and for an instant she could only stand there, the scream from being chilled to her bones sticking in her throat. But then she swiped furiously at her face and looked up. All she could make out right then, water and soap still in her eyes, was the blurred face of a man staring down at her. "I'll teach you to spy on me," she cried, furious.
She grabbed her towel, wrapping it around her at the same time as she lunged at the door to send it banging back against Steve. He did not have time to react and was caught off guard. The bench tipped, and he went sprawling to the ground.
Raven stared in the lantern's glow, water running down her face. "Steve! I—" She swallowed in disbelief. "I never took you for a... a peeper," she stammered.
"I never knew anyone I wanted to peep at," he said, laughing, as he reached out to grab her ankle and bring her toppling down on top of him. "Till now," he added huskily, soberly.
Casting aside all restraint to the night winds blowing gently over them, his hand moved to the back of her neck to bring her face close to his. Slowly, ever so slowly, he began to brush his lips over hers, hardly touching as he sought to savor the moment. He could feel the rapid beating of her pulse against his fingers as he gently continued to caress her throat, as she stared at him with—what? Terror? Desire? He did not know but intended to find out.
He rolled with her till they lay on their sides, facing each other. The towel caught and pulled away. She made no move to retrieve it and lay tight against him, naked, as he had dreamed of holding her.
His tongue traced the lines of her mouth, and then he was aware that her hands were no longer frightened claws, clutching his shoulders, but had yielded to a shy caress. He kissed her then, hard, bruising, for all the desire he had fought to suppress for so long suddenly erupted and he wanted her, deeply, desperately. His arms went about her, crisscrossing her back to imprison her ever tighter. She did not struggle. Her lips part
ed as his tongue assaulted, and he could feel her entire body sighing against him in surrender.
They were on the ground, wet from the runoff from the shower. Lost in rapture, neither noticed or cared about the mud as they continued to cling together, bodies moving with the sweeping fervor of ever-heightening desire. Dizzily, Steve knew he did not want it to happen like this, not here, on the ground outside the barn, where at any moment someone could happen along, even at such an unlikely hour. With another woman, the ones in his past, it wouldn't have mattered. He'd done his pleasuring in all sorts of unlikely places: pool tables after hours in a bar, a back alley behind garbage cans, barn lofts, stalls, carriages, buckboards, even right out in the open if the mood struck and nobody was around. He hadn't cared. Neither had the woman. But this was different. This was Raven. And he'd not have their first time, perhaps their only time, sullied by likening it to an act of unbridled lust. It had to be more because she was more.
He tore himself away from her. "Not here. Upstairs. In my room." He stood and reached down for her.
Raven looked from his outstretched hand to his face. She could see his heated gaze, his flushed cheeks, the nerve twitching in his jaw. His shirt was unbuttoned to his waist, and she could see the thick mat of hair, trailing downward. He stood with legs slightly apart, and she fought to keep from staring at the swell between them. She was not sure exactly what she wanted, only that she wanted him, in all his glory, then and there. But above and beyond the drums of desire that were beating within, something told her that once her fingers closed about his, there would be no turning back. He would take her upstairs, to his bed, and once he did her heart was lost to him forever.
He saw her hesitation and dared ask, "You weren't trifling with me again, were you, Raven? Are you going to scream and bring everyone running to make me look like a fool? I think not. I hope not...."
He drew her into his arms again, and though she commanded herself to pull away, she could only yield to the longing.
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