The Complete Malazan Book of the Fallen
Page 696
At the Gates of Madness.
She came to set down her new child
There on the stained altar
At the Gates of Madness.
‘This,’ said she, ‘is what we must do,
In hope and humility
At the Gates of Madness.’
And the child did cry in the night
To announce bold arrival
At the Gates of Madness.
Have we dreamed this enough now?
Our promise of suffering
At the Gates of Madness?
Will you look down upon its new face
And whisper songs of anguish
At the Gates of Madness?
Taking the sawtoothed key in hand
To let loose a broken future
At the Gates of Madness?
Tell then your tale of futility to the child
All your games with death
At the Gates of Madness.
We who stand here have heard it before
On this the other side
Of the Gates of Madness.
Prayer of Child
The Masked Monks of Cabal
Dragging his soul from its place of exhaustion and horror, the sound of a spinning chain awoke Nimander Golit. He stared up at the stained ceiling of his small room, his heart thumping hard in his chest, his body slick with sweat beneath damp blankets.
That sound – it had seemed so real—
And now, with eyes widening, he heard it again.
Spinning, then odd snaps! Then spinning once more.
He sat up. The squalid town outside slept, drowned in darkness unrelieved by any moon. And yet…the sound was coming from the street directly below.
Nimander rose from the bed, made his way to the door, out into the chilly hallway. Grit and dust beneath his bare feet as he padded down the rickety stairs.
Emerging, he rushed out into the street.
Yes, night’s deepest pit, and this was not – could not be – a dream.
The hissing chain and soft clack, close, brought him round. To see another Tiste Andii emerge from the gloom. A stranger. Nimander gasped.
The stranger was twirling a chain from one upraised hand, a chain with rings at each end.
‘Hello, Nimander Golit.’
‘Who – who are you? How do you know my name?’
‘I have come a long way, to this Isle of the Shake – they are our kin, did you know that? I suppose you did – but they can wait, for they are not yet ready and perhaps will never be ready. Not just Andii blood, after all. But Edur. Maybe even Liosan, not to mention human. No matter. Leave Twilight her island…’ he laughed, ‘empire.’
‘What do you want?’
‘You, Nimander Golit. And your kin. Go now, gather them. It is time for us to leave.’
‘What? Where?’
‘Are you truly a child?’ the stranger snapped in frustration. The rings clicked, the chain spiralled tight about his index finger. ‘I am here to lead you home, Nimander. All you spawn of Anomander Rake, the Black-Winged Lord.’
‘But where is home?’
‘Listen to me! I am taking you to him!’
Nimander stared, then stepped back. ‘He does not want us—’
‘It does not matter what he wants. Nor even what I want! Do you understand yet? I am her Herald!’
Her?
All at once Nimander cried out, dropped hard down onto his knees on the cobbles, his hands at his face. ‘This – this is not a dream?’
The stranger sneered. ‘You can keep your nightmares, Nimander. You can stare down at the blood on your hands for all eternity, for all I care. She was, as you say, insane. And dangerous. I tell you this, I would have left her corpse lying here in the street, this night, if she still lived. So, enough of that.
‘Go, bring your kin here. Quickly, Nimander, while Darkness still holds this island.’
And Nimander climbed to his feet, then hobbled into the decrepit tenement.
Her Herald. Oh, Mother Dark, you would summon our father, as you now summon us?
But why?
Oh, it must be. Yes. Our exile – Abyss below – our exile is at an end!
Waiting in the street, Clip spun his chain. A pathetic bunch, if this Nimander was the best among them. Well, they would have to do, for he did not lie when he said the Shake were not yet ready.
That was, in fact, the only truth he had told, on this darkest of nights.
And how did you fare in Letheras, Silchas Ruin? Not well, I’d wager.
You’re not your brother. You never were.
Oh, Anomander Rake, we will find you. And you will give answer to us. No, not even a god can blithely walk away, can escape the consequences. Of betrayal.
Yes, we will find you. And we will show you. We will show you just how it feels.
Rud Elalle found his father seated atop a weathered boulder at the edge of the small valley near the village. Climbed up and joined Udinaas, settling onto the sun-warmed stone at his side.
A ranag calf had somehow become separated from its mother, and indeed the entire herd, and now wandered the valley floor, bawling.
‘We could feast on that one,’ Rud said.
‘We could,’ Udinaas replied. ‘If you have no heart.’
‘We must live, and to live we must eat—’
‘And to live and eat, we must kill. Yes, yes, Rud, I am aware of all that.’
‘How long will you stay?’ Rud asked, then his breath caught in his throat. The question had just come out – the one he had been dreading to ask for so long.
Udinaas shot him a surprised look, then returned his attention to the lost calf. ‘She grieves,’ he said. ‘She grieves, so deep in her heart that it reaches out to me – as if the distance was nothing. Nothing. This is what comes,’ he added without a trace of bitterness, ‘of rape.’
Rud decided it was too hard to watch his father’s face at this moment, so he swung his gaze down to the distant calf.
‘I told Onrack,’ Udinaas continued. ‘I had to. To just…get it out, before it devoured me. Now, well, I regret doing that.’
‘You need not. Onrack had no greater friend. It was necessary that he know the truth—’
‘No, Rud, that is never necessary. Expedient, sometimes. Useful, other times. The rest of the time, it just wounds.’
‘Father, what will you do?’
‘Do? Why, nothing. Not for Seren, not for Onrack. I’m nothing but an ex-slave.’ A momentary smile, wry. ‘Living with the savages.’
‘You are more than just that,’ Rud said.
‘I am?’
‘Yes, you are my father. And so I ask again, how long will you stay?’
‘Until you toss me out, I suppose.’
Rud came as close to bursting into tears as he had ever been. His throat closed up, so tight that he could say nothing for a long moment, as the tide of feeling rose within him and only slowly subsided. Through blurred eyes, he watched the calf wander in the valley.
Udinaas resumed as if unmindful of the reaction his words had elicited. ‘Not that I can teach you much, Rud. Mending nets, maybe.’
‘No, father, you can teach me the most important thing of all.’
Udinaas eyed him askance, sceptical and suspicious.
Three adult ranag appeared on a crest, lumbered down towards the calf. Seeing them, the young beast cried out again, even louder this time, and raced to meet them.
Rud sighed. ‘Father, you can teach me your greatest skill. How to survive.’
Neither said anything then for some time, and Rud held his eyes on the ranag as they ascended the far side of the valley. In this time, it seemed Udinaas had found something wrong with his eyes, for his hands went to his face again and again. Rud did not turn to observe any of that.
Then, eventually, with the valley empty before them, his father rose. ‘Looks like we go hungry after all.’
‘Never for long,’ Rud replied, also rising.
; ‘No, that’s true.’
They made their way back to the village.
His hands stained with paint, Onrack tied the rawhide straps about the bundle, then slung it over a shoulder and faced his wife. ‘I must go.’
‘So you say,’ Kilava replied.
‘The journey, to where lies the body of my friend, will ease my spirit.’
‘Without doubt.’
‘And I must speak to Seren Pedac. I must tell her of her husband, of his life since the time he gave her his sword.’
‘Yes.’
‘And now,’ Onrack said, ‘I must go and embrace our son.’
‘I will join you.’
Onrack smiled. ‘That will embarrass him.’
‘No, you damned fool. I said I will join you. If you think you’re going anywhere without me, you are mad.’
‘Kilava—’
‘I have decided. I will let the journey ease your heart, husband. I will not chatter until your ears bleed and like a bhederin you look for the nearest cliff-edge.’
He stared at her with love welling in his eyes. ‘Chatter? I have never heard you chatter.’
‘You never will, either.’
He nodded. ‘This is very well, wife. Join me, then. Help me heal with your presence alone—’
‘Be very careful now, Onrack.’
Wisely, he said nothing more.
They went to say goodbye to their son.
‘This is exhausting!’ Emperor Tehol Beddict said, slumping down onto his throne.
Bugg’s face soured as he said, ‘Why? You haven’t done anything yet.’
‘Well, it’s only been three weeks. I tell you, my list of reforms is so long I’ll never get around to any of them.’
‘I applaud your embrace of incompetence,’ Bugg said. ‘You’ll make a fine Emperor.’
‘Well,’ Brys ventured from where he stood leaning against the wall to the right of the dais, ‘there is peace in the land.’
Bugg grimaced. ‘Yes, leading one to wonder just how long an entire empire can hold its breath.’
‘And if anyone has the answer to that one, dear manservant, it would be you.’
‘Oh, now I am amused.’
Tehol smiled. ‘We can tell. And now, that wasn’t the royal “we”. Which we admit we cannot get used to in our fledgling innocence.’
Brys said, ‘The Adjunct is on her way, and then there is Shurq Elalle who wants to talk to you about something. Aren’t there things that need discussing?’ He then waited for a reply, any reply, but instead earned nothing but blank stares from his brother and Bugg.
From a side entrance, the new Chancellor entered in a swirl of gaudy robes. Brys hid his wince. Who would have thought she’d plunge right into bad taste like a grub into an apple?
‘Ah,’ Tehol said, ‘doesn’t my Chancellor look lovely this morning?’
Janath’s expression remained aloof. ‘Chancellors are not supposed to look lovely. Competence and elegance will suffice.’
‘No wonder you stand out so in here,’ Bugg muttered.
‘Besides,’ Janath continued, ‘such descriptions are better suited to the role of First Concubine, which tells me precisely which brain you’re thinking with, beloved husband. Again.’
Tehol held up his hands as if in surrender, then he said in his most reasonable tone – one Brys recognized with faint dismay – ‘I still see no reason why you can’t be First Concubine as well.’
‘I keep telling you,’ Bugg said. ‘Wife to the Emperor means she’s Empress.’ He then turned to Janath. ‘Giving you three legitimate titles.’
‘Don’t forget scholar,’ Tehol observed, ‘which most would hold cancels out all the others. Even wife.’
‘Why,’ said Bugg, ‘now your lessons will never end.’
Another moment of silence, as everyone considered all this.
Then Tehol stirred on his throne. ‘There’s always Rucket! She’d make a fine First Concubine! Goodness, how the blessings flow over.’
Janath said, ‘Careful you don’t drown, Tehol.’
‘Bugg would never let that happen, sweetness. Oh, since we’re discussing important matters before the Adjunct arrives to say goodbye, I was thinking that Preda Varat Taun needs an able Finadd to assist his reconstruction efforts and all that.’
Brys straightened. Finally, they were getting to genuine subjects. ‘Who did you have in mind?’
‘Why, none other than Ublala Pung!’
Bugg said, ‘I’m going for a walk.’
Using an iron bar as a lever, Seren Pedac struggled with the heavy pavestones at the entrance to her house. Sweat glistened on her bared arms and her hair had come loose from its ties – she would get it cut short soon. As befitted her life now.
But on this morning, this task remained before her, and she set about it with unrelenting diligence, using her body without regard to the consequences. Prying loose the heavy stones, dragging and pushing them to one side with scraped and bleeding hands.
Once done, she would take a shovel to the underfill, as far down as she could manage.
For the moment, however, the centre stone was defeating her, and she feared she would not have the strength to move it.
‘Pardon my intrusion,’ said a man’s voice, ‘but it looks as if you need help.’
She looked up from where she leaned on the bar. Squinted sceptically. ‘Not sure you want to risk that, sir,’ she said to the old man, and then fell silent. He had a mason’s wrists, with large, well-worked hands. She wiped sweat from her brow and frowned down at the pavestone. ‘I know, this must look…unusual. Where everywhere else in the city people are putting things back, here I am…’
The old man approached. ‘Not in the least, Acquitor – you were an Acquitor, were you not?’
‘Uh, yes. I was. Not any more. I’m Seren Pedac.’
‘No, not in the least, then, Seren Pedac.’
She gestured at the centre stone. ‘This one defeats me, I’m afraid.’
‘Not for long, I suspect, no matter what. You seem very determined.’
She smiled, and was startled by how odd it felt. When had she last smiled – no, she would not think back to that.
‘But you should be careful,’ the old man continued. ‘Here, let me try.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, stepping back to give him room.
The old man promptly bent the bar.
She stared.
Cursing, he set it aside, then crouched down to dig his fingers into one side of the enormous stone block.
And pulled it into its edge, then, hands going out to the sides, he lifted it with a grunt, pivoted, staggered two steps, and laid it down atop the others. He straightened, brushing dust from his hands. ‘Hire a couple of young men to put it back when you’re done.’
‘How – no, well. But. How do you know I intend to put it back?’
He glanced across at her. ‘Do not grieve overlong, Seren Pedac. You are needed. Your life is needed.’
And then he bowed to her and left.
She stared after him.
She needed to go inside now, to collect the stone spear and his sword, to bury the weapons beneath the threshold of her home, her terribly empty home.
Yet still she hesitated.
And the old man suddenly returned. ‘I found the Errant,’ he said. ‘We had much to…discuss. It is how I learned of you, and of what happened.’
What? Is he addled, then? One of the Errant’s new zealots? She made to turn away—
‘No, wait! Seren Pedac. You have all there is of him, all that’s left. Cherish it, please. Seren Pedac, cherish it. And yourself. Please.’
And, as he walked away, it was as if his words had blessed her in some unaccountable way.
‘You have all there is of me, all that’s left…’
Unconsciously, her hand lifted to settle on her stomach.
Before too long, she would be doing a lot of that.
This ends the seventh tale of the
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nbsp; Malazan Book of the Fallen
Glossary
Acquitor: a sanctioned position as guide/factor when dealing with non-Letherii people
Ahkrata: a Barghast tribe
Andara: temple of the cult of the Black-Winged Lord
Arapay: the easternmost tribe of Tiste Edur
Artisan Battalion: a military unit in Lether
Atri-Preda: military commander who governs a city, town or territory
Awl: a town in Lether. Also the name of a tribe
Awl’dan: grasslands east of Drene
Barahn: a Barghast tribe
Barghast: pastoral nomadic warrior people
Bast Fulmar: battle site
Beneda: a Tiste Edur tribe
Blue Style Steel: a Letherii steel once used for weapons
Bluerose: a subjugated nation in Lether
Bluerose Battalion: a military unit in Lether
Caladara whip: an Awl weapon
Cabil: an archipelago nation south of Perish
Ceda: a High Mage of the Letherii Empire
Cedance: a chamber of tiles representing the Holds, in Letheras
Crimson Rampant Brigade: a military unit in Lether
Den-Ratha: a Tiste Edur tribe
Docks: coin of Lether
Down Markets: a district in Letheras
Drene: a Lether city east of Bluerose
Emlava: a sabre-toothed cat
Eternal Domicile: seat of Lether Emperor
Faraed: a subjugated people of Lether
Fent: a subjugated people of Lether
Finadd: equivalent of captain in the Letherii military
Froth Wolf: Adjunct Tavore’s command ship
Gilani: tribe in Seven Cities
Gilk: a Barghast tribe
Harridict Brigade: a Lether military unit
Hiroth: a Tiste Edur tribe
Ilgres: a Barghast tribe
Jheck: a northern tribe
Just Wars: mythical conflict between the Tiste Liosan and the Forkrul Assail
K’risnan: Tiste Edur sorcerers
Kenryll’ah: demon nobility
Liberty Consign: a loose consortium of businesses in Lether
Lupe fish: a large carnivorous fish of Lether River
Meckros: a seafaring people
Merchants’ Battalion: a Lether military unit
Merude: a Tiste Edur tribe