by Amy Summers
Kendall felt trapped. Tears filled her eyes and blurred her vision. She only wanted to be left alone. Why couldn’t Danni understand that?
“No! I’ll never, ever get married. Never!”
Danni stood uncertainly, confused. “But Kendall...”
Kendall’s voice was hard and final. “Danni! Go! Leave me alone.”
Danni’s hand went to her mouth. “I’ll get Brett,” she whispered, turning on her heel and running out the door.
“No!” Kendall cried out the word as though she were in pain.
But it was too late to stop Danni. She thought of locking the door, but she couldn’t seem to force herself up off the couch. And he would just make things worse if she did, she knew that. So she waited and hoped she would be able to convince him to stay away.
In another moment, Brett was there, with Danni right behind him.
“She says she’ll never get married,” Danni was saying worriedly. “You’ve got to talk to her.”
Brett stood in the doorway and looked at Kendall. She was glaring up at him and he could see that, so he stood where he was, testing the waters.
“Never getting married, huh? Good for her,” he said. “Stupid weddings cost a fortune, and they’re a pain in the ass besides.”
“You don’t mean that!” Danni cried, suddenly in tears herself. “Talk to her, Brett. Do something.”
Brett turned and very carefully led Danni back out the door. “Get out of here, scamp,” he told her. “Let me talk to Kendall alone.”
Danni looked at Kendall and nodded. “Okay.” And then she was out of sight of the doorway.
Brett turned back to where Kendall was huddled into a ball of misery on the couch.
“You shouldn’t have come,” she said, hiccupping through her tears. “I told Danni, I just want to be by myself.”
He stood very still, legs apart, arms folded on his chest. “Is there something wrong? Something I’ve done?”
“No.” Irrationally, her anger was growing, building with the empty sadness she felt inside. “My whole life isn’t based on you, you know.” She didn’t even stop to wonder if he would possibly be dumb enough to believe that. “I have other things to think about. Can’t I be alone for just a few minutes?”
“So you can sulk?”
Her eyes flashed. She’d never been angrier. “I don’t want you here. Is that in plain enough English for you to understand?”
“You don’t want me?” Now he sounded just as angry as she was. “Where’ve I heard that before?” He stared at her. “If you don’t want me, I certainly don’t intend to bother you with my loathsome presence any longer. I’ll just get out of your life. Will that make you happy?”
Her hands balled into fists to keep from throwing things at him. “Yes! Then I could get back to the work I should be doing with the animals. I shouldn’t be getting messed up with you!”
His eyes sent sparks. “Is that what I’ve done? I’ve messed you up?”
Tears were streaming down her face and she didn’t know how to stop saying stupid things. “Yes! You’ve messed up my entire life!”
They glared at one another and suddenly there was a sound of scuffing at the front of her trailer. Brett looked out to see Danni running away. “Danni was listening,” he said frowning. “She heard what we’ve been saying.”
Perfect. Another disaster. Kendall threw back her head and groaned. Everything she did was wrong. “Oh no. I hope she doesn’t think I meant all those things I said to you.”
And the moment she said the words, she knew how far from the truth her angry statements had been. She wasn’t mad at Brett. She was disgusted with herself. She should be free of the past by now, ready to live a full and happy life. If she couldn’t trust Brett, who could she trust? Why couldn’t she let herself believe it? She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts. She loved Brett. Maybe now she could tell him so.
Maybe now he would want to hear it. He was standing still, his mouth twisted, but the spark that lit his eyes had more humor than anger. “Are you saying you didn’t mean all those things?” he asked.
She glared up at him, though it was obvious to them both that the anger was gone from her state too. Still, she couldn’t give up without at least pretending to fight. “You didn’t think I did, did you?”
He shrugged, grimacing, then turned back to lock the door. “I try never to think where you’re concerned. Logic seems to have very little to do with it.”
He pulled off his jacket and dropped it on the floor and began to do the same with his belt. “It hardly matters, seeing as how I’m going to make you take back every word you said.” He stripped off his shirt and started toward the couch, his purpose clear.
She shrank back against the corner, her gaze taking in his beautiful body. “Brett... now, Brett...”
“That’s my name.” He dropped down beside her on the couch and reached for her, pulling her into his arms. “You’ve been throwing around a lot of insults. Let’s see if you can back them up.” His mouth covered hers and his obvious desire filled her with a new emotion. His kiss was demanding a response and she found it impossible to ignore that. She sighed as he touched her, sighed at the heat of his kiss, and everything in her began to turn to jelly.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he murmured huskily. “You just show me how much you hate me. I think I’m getting the picture now.”
Reaching around, he began to tug down the zipper on her dress, ignoring her weak protests.
“Brett, we don’t have time!”
“We have all the time in the world,” he murmured against her neck, dropping hot kisses on her skin.
She laughed, low and rich, and though she pretended to still be fighting him off, they both knew it was a sham. “Brett! Someone might come.”
“No one is going to come. They’re all too busy having fun and eating food.”
She looked up and saw the sweet emotion in his gorgeous eyes. God how she loved him! He was hers—really hers. She only wanted to hold him forever, to love him body and soul, to make his life as happy as she possibly could. No more doubts. No more fear. She would tell him now. It was time.
Turning to look into his face, she reached to push his hair back off his forehead and kissed his eyelids.
“Brett,” she whispered. “Oh Brett, I...”
Her words were drowned out by a shout from outside, and then someone was banging on the door of the trailer.
“Brett! Kendall!” It was Pedro. They both shot up out of the couch looking at one another. “You’ve got to come right away! The animals are out. They’re all over the place!”
Chapter 10
The next hour had a nightmarish quality to it. Most of the animals had been released, their cages standing open. Animals were everywhere, as frightened as the people who screamed and ran to find hiding places. Pedro and Brett, Ernie and Kendall, and a few of the other men who’d volunteered ran back and forth corraling the escapees, cornering the big cats, wolves and coyotes, using tranquilizers when they had to, but attempting intimidation and coaxing which often worked instead. Dr. Granger and Susan Daily pitched in, leading small groups of people to their cars, as much to get them out of the way as for their own protection. For a time, chaos reigned.
The first thing Kendall had done once she’d pulled on jeans and a shirt, had been to run to Chelsea’s enclosure. Breathing a quick prayer of thanks, she found her favorite cat and her adorable little ones still locked in, safe and sound. And then she turned back to help the others in the monumental task of putting animals back where they belonged before someone, including the animals, got hurt.
It took almost an hour to get things back to a semblance of normalcy. Finally only four birds and two of the coyotes were still missing. Kendall looked at Brett. His fancy dress pants were mud-encrusted and his shirt was torn. She knew she looked as much of a mess herself. And she felt as though she’d just run a marathon.
At last there was time for questions.
&n
bsp; “Who could have done this?” Kendall asked, looking around and not really expecting an answer.
“I know,” Pedro said quietly, coming up from behind but avoiding her gaze when she swung around to face him. “I saw.”
Kendall’s heart leapt in her throat. For some strange reason she had a feeling she wasn’t going to like this. Something inside was telling her not to ask. But of course, she had to.
“Who?”
Pedro lifted his head and looked Brett squarely in the face. “Your sister. Danni. I saw her doing it. She had the keys in her hand. When I yelled, she ran off toward the hills.”
They stood in stunned silence. Kendall turned to look at Brett. His face was ashen.
“I’ve got to find her,” he said, looking toward the hills. The sun was low on the horizon. The long shadows seemed to emphasize the feeling of melancholy pervading them all. “Which way did she go?”
Kendall was frightened by the cold glint in his eyes. “Let me go with you,” she urged.
“No,” he said coldly. “You stay here. I’ve got to do this myself.”
Pedro pointed out where Danni had gone and Brett started off, not even bothering to change into other clothes first. Kendall watched him go, until he was out of sight among the oaks, and something inside her quivered in anguish.
Determinedly, she turned back to Pedro and her own world. “Let’s go around and double-check every single cage,” she said crisply. “Just to be sure.”
A thousand questions whirled through her mind, but she didn’t say a word to Pedro, or to anyone else. Mutely she went back to her trailer and sat in the gathering darkness, waiting.
It was late when Brett finally came back. He came slowly into the dark room, reaching around Kendall to turn on the little lamp beside the couch. But he didn’t touch her.
“I’ve got Danni out in my car,” he said. “I’m going to take her home.”
Kendall straightened on the couch. “Where was she? Is she all right?”
“She was wandering in the hills. She’s fine. Physically.”
His voice sounded so lifeless. Kendall wished she knew what she could do to comfort him. “Can I come and see her?”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea right now. She’s pretty confused.” He moved restlessly. “She told me a lot of things while we were walking back. A lot of things I never realized before.”
“I... I’m glad.”
He looked at her. “I know you tried to get me to notice some of these things before, and I wouldn’t listen. I should have.”
Kendall wanted to take him in her arms but something about him wouldn’t allow it right now.
“She’s the one who’s been letting the animals out from the beginning.”
Kendall shrank back, almost cringing. She’d been afraid of this, didn’t want it to be true. “No. Oh no.”
He went on talking mechanically. “The first time was when the wolf got out. That was a mistake. She just didn’t close the gate right, and then she was afraid to tell us the truth.”
That was understandable. But what about the other times? They couldn’t all have been mistakes. “Did she say why she did it again?”
He nodded. “She liked you a lot. And she wanted us to be together. Only we seemed to be resisting that. But when an animal got loose, you had to call me to help get it back...”
“And we were thrown together,” Kendall finished the sentence. “Oh brother. Why didn’t I see that?”
“That’s why it stopped happening once I moved out here with you.” His face was tortured. “Then when she heard us arguing this afternoon, everything came to a head with her. She thought it was all over and she took out her anger on us all.”
His gesture had a hopeless quality to it that broke her heart. “I’m sorry, Kendall. I don’t know what Danni can do to repay you...”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t need repaying. But Danni needs counseling.”
“Yes.” He let out a deep breath. “I realize most of this is my fault. I haven’t been an ideal parent to her.”
“But you aren’t her parent. You’re her big brother.”
“I assumed the role of parent when our mother and father died. Someone had to do it. But I didn’t fulfill it the way I should have. I think that’s why she wanted you and me... she wanted us together. It would be more like parents.”
Kendall nodded slowly. Everything Danni had ever said fell into place with that theory. She wished she’d had the courage of her convictions from the first and had made Brett pay attention. But would it really have done any good? Perhaps things had to come to a full boil before they could be fixed.
Brett was still muttering on. “I don’t know. There seems to be more to relationships than I ever thought about. It’s not as easy as I always made it. I want to get it right. For her sake. And for my own.”
He stood very still. There was no warmth in his face, nothing she could appeal to. She sat quietly and waited.
“I’ve got a lot of thinking to do,” he said at last. “I’ll call you in the morning.”
He didn’t kiss her before leaving. She sat where she was and listened to his footsteps crunching on the gravel as he left her and tears rolled down her face.
She didn’t sleep at all that night. In the morning she spilled coffee all over the morning paper and set her toast on fire. By the time Brett finally called she was a nervous wreck.
His voice was distant, but she felt such relief to hear it she hardly noticed at first.
“How is she?” she asked.
“She’s fine. But I’ve made her a promise.”
“What is it?”
“We’re going away together, to have some time to reestablish our relationship.”
Away. The word made her wince. But she knew what he was saying was for the best, so she put a brave face on it. “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. Where? When?”
“We’re leaving right away. I’m taking her to Hawaii. A friend of mine from college is a psychologist there at the university. He’ll help us find a therapist.”
How long will you be gone? Will you miss me? Will you still want me when you get back? She ached to ask, but she didn’t dare.
“I made another promise to her,” he was saying. “I told her you’d come along with us.”
For just a second her heart lurched and she was tempted. But right away she saw his statement for what it really was. This was no declaration of love or commitment on his part. He was trying to make things up to Danni. This had very little to do with him and her and a lot to do with guilt.
“I don’t think that would be such a good idea,” she said slowly.
There was stunned silence. “I promised her,” he said at last.
This was difficult. At first, the words stuck in her throat.
“I’m sorry, Brett,” she said at last. “But you had no right to promise her. And anyway, I don’t think it’s such a good idea to give in to her every whim just to make her happy. That isn’t the way you’re going to remedy this problem.”
“You’re an expert on teenagers all of a sudden?” He was on the defensive.
“Of course not. But I do have some common sense.”
She took a deep breath to steady herself and keep from letting this take them into an emotional argument. “Anyway, what she needs is time alone with you. She may think she wants me around, but in the long run, I’d just get in the way of what you want to accomplish with her.”
His voice was low and angry. “Now you’re really rationalizing. If you don’t want to come, all you have to do is say so. Don’t cover it up with excuses.”
“Brett...”
“You’ve tried to push me away from the start. I know you’d rather be left alone with your animals. Well, guess what, Kendall? You get your wish. I’m through trying to pull you out of your hiding place.”
He hung up. She was numb, too hurt for tears. How could he have misread her so badly? Her first impulse was to call hi
m back and try to explain, but she held off. It didn’t matter, she told herself. His first priority had to be Danni. He had to concentrate all his emotional resources on her for now. There would be plenty of time later for explanations.
The next few weeks dragged like slow-motion film. The shelter was her world and she immersed herself in it. They got some new animals, a jaguar and two bobcats. And to her surprise, Susan Daily came out one day and volunteered to help whenever she could. Kendall took her on gladly and soon found she was full of good ideas.
“You might as well begin soliciting donations,” Susan advised her from the first. “You know you’re going to have to come to that eventually.”
Kendall sighed. “I was putting off that day of reckoning.”
Susan was all business and she had the instincts of a corporate raider.
“I know. But it really won’t be so bad. Once the people in town get used to you, you’ll begin to be one of their own and then they’ll take the next step and be proud of you, and then you’ll be home free. They’ll help.”
Kendall gazed at her new friend with awed wonder. “What makes you so sure all this will happen?”
Susan shrugged. “This is a wonderful project you have going here. It has to happen.”
Her enthusiasm spilled over and found its way into Kendall’s dreams. Soon Susan was organizing groups of school children to come through on a regular basis.
“I’ll lead the tours,” she promised. “You won’t have to do a thing. And when the children love this place, their parents will soon come around.”
Susan even managed to change the hearts and minds of the Johnson brothers by inviting them over to help feed the animals. Before Kendall knew what was happening she had Hiram wandering around with a goofy grin, chasing peacocks about the park with bird seed, trying to coax them to eat and Bill constructing a new feeding trough for the red fox.
Susan had turned out to be tough, just as Danni had warned. But her toughness was an asset. Kendall adored her. She had more energy than Kendall and Ernie and Pedro put together. She moved through the shelter like a whirlwind, making waves and leaving smiles behind. She seemed to have a sixth sense about everything, and always something to say.