Was she really willing to let him walk away without taking everything that she could from him before he went?
She didn’t know, but she needed to figure it out, and fast. There was no telling how long he would stick around this time. She couldn’t count on forever. And after the way he’d treated her, she no longer wanted a lifetime with him anyway.
But she needed to decide if she could go all in for nothing more than a good time. If she could use him for that mouthwatering, kick-ass body of his for as long as she dared, and then turn around and walk away before he got around to it.
Would the pleasure be worth the inevitable pain that would follow?
As she crawled onto her bed and turned out the light, Sayre could have sworn she heard a voice in her head murmur, How will you know if you never give yourself a taste?
Chapter 5
For Sayre, the following morning put the phrase leap of faith in a whole new light. One that was up close and personal...and as exciting as it was terrifying.
Cian had prowled outside the cabin until just after two in the morning, then finally dragged himself inside. Sayre had dozed off at that point, too, awakening later than usual after a restless night’s sleep. Dressed in soft cotton shorts and a tank top, she padded out to the living room and stopped at the end of the hallway when she saw that he was still asleep on the sofa. His long legs hung over the end, one powerful arm thrown across his face to block out the morning sunlight flooding in through the French doors.
As she stood there with her shoulder propped against the wall, staring at his sunlit body sprawled across the off-white cushions, she knew she’d made her decision. Knew what she wanted. And while things usually went to hell in a handbasket when people started making decisions based on what they felt they deserved, rather than on what was smart, she didn’t care. She figured this was her one shot at joining the masses and being a “normal” girl. Even if it were just for a brief moment in time.
But there was more on the line here than her need for sexual discovery and satisfaction. More than her need to finally get herself a “little somethin’” before she ended up a crazy old recluse who had nothing but chipmunks and squirrels for company. She needed to think about what the right answer was for their current safety situation. Not so much for herself, because she knew that while Cian might be an ass when it came to women and relationships, he would do whatever it took to protect her. His coming back to the States was a clear indication of his determination to keep her safe from this unknown brother of his. But she was most likely putting him in a dangerous situation by making him face it alone, with only her to help him. If they went back to the Alley, he would have others to watch his back and ensure his own safety.
And as long as he was there with her, she had a feeling she would be able to deal with the issues her powers created. When she’d mentioned how difficult it was for her there during their argument the night before, she’d been thinking more of the emotional strain it would put her under—not the physical one. Being there with Cian, when everyone knew how he’d just upped and left her, was going to be anything but peachy. She didn’t plan on actually spelling any of this out for him, though. It would simply be a lie by omission, and she could live with that.
Plus, she knew most of the others were on vacation at the beach with their kids, enjoying a summer getaway, so the group would be small. Brody and Mic were there, and Jillian had had to stay behind, because she was needed in town to help deal with several premature babies who had been born within the last few weeks. Sayre was aware of the details, because her sister had been blowing her phone up with texts since yesterday. Instead of calling Jillian back, like the texts had begged, she’d replied that she was fine and would be in touch, and left it at that. Yeah, it was bitchy, but she didn’t have the energy for the guilt she knew she’d feel when she heard the worry in her sister’s voice that was always there whenever they spoke.
And God only knew Jillian would have a lot to say about Cian showing back up in her life. Cian’s leaving had drastically altered her sister’s perception of the Irishman. Words like bastard, selfish and coward were the ones Jillian used to describe him these days, whenever he happened to come up in conversation. And Sayre had always agreed with her.
But now...now she didn’t quite know what to believe. Sure, there were parts of her that still felt he was all of those things and more. But she was starting to see that the “more” part had a lot more to it than she’d ever realized. That there were things about Cian’s life, like this so-called brother he’d mentioned, that she and the others had never been told about. A brother who for some reason wanted to harm her simply because of her connection to Cian. Who was crazy enough to have hired those human assholes to come up here on her mountain and mess with her. It made her wonder what other secrets Cian had been keeping from them—and why he’d felt he needed to keep them in the first place.
Unable to resist this stolen moment, where she could stare at him at her leisure and simply soak him in, she pushed all of that to the background and padded quietly into the room, until she stood only a few feet away from where he lay. His ebony eyelashes were long and thick and ridiculously beautiful—the kind of lashes most women would have killed to have. His brows slashed arrogantly across a face that pretty much left her breathless. And then there was the long, powerful body, his tight skin wrapped around chiseled muscles that would make any hot-blooded female a little weak in the knees. It wasn’t fair for him to be this mesmerizing, as if everything about him had been designed to draw in a woman and make her want him. Crave him. Need him in a way she’d never needed anything in her entire life.
And the fact that fate had chosen him as her perfect match meant that Sayre felt those things in the extreme, as if they were two magnetic fields being drawn together with incredible force—even when he so obviously wanted to fight it. That particular little fun fact made her long to slap him as desperately as she wanted to lean over that fallen-angel face of his and kiss him until he forgot his own blasted name. Until he was as lost in her as she’d always ached for him to be, his need matching hers in a way that was guaranteed to burn the cabin down around them, it was so freaking hot.
As if he sensed her presence, he made a low sound that rumbled deep in his chest and lifted his arms over his head as he stretched out his big, muscular body. He’d thrown his shirt over the back of the sofa and taken off his boots and socks, leaving him dressed in nothing but those low-slung jeans he’d changed into after his shower. Every mouthwatering inch of his wide chest and ripped abdominal muscles were on dazzling display, and she actually had to lift her hand and wipe the corner of her mouth, the rush of her pulse pounding in her ears like the warning blare of a siren. Get back! Be careful! Don’t touch! The guy was just too beautiful for his own good.
Damn it, even his bare feet were sexy!
She tried to be strong and walk away. She really did—because using him for pleasure was different from mooning over him like a lovesick idiot. But the way he suddenly turned his head, those sleep-heavy eyes warming with pleasure when he blinked them open and saw her, his wide mouth curling in a slow, sin-tipped smile, was just too much. Too perfect. Too freaking emotional. And the way that for just that single instant he looked genuinely happy to see her...damn it, it broke her stupid heart all over again. Put foolish, dangerous thoughts in her head. Made her dream, when that was the last thing in the world she should be doing where he was concerned.
“You okay?” he asked in a low, sleep-rough rumble, his accent even thicker than when he was fully alert.
She wet her lips, took a shallow breath and searched for her voice. “I...I’m fine. I still need to get dressed, but first...I just wanted to let you know that I’ll go back with you. We don’t need to have another argument in order for you to convince me.”
He pushed up on an elbow, looking like something on a goddamn hunk calen
dar. Only Cian was more gorgeous and rugged and sexy than any model she’d ever seen photographed. Sounding a bit more awake than he had before, he said, “I’m glad to hear it, lass. But what changed your mind?”
“I don’t want your death on my hands,” she murmured, wrapping her arms over her middle, her confession making her feel even more exposed than her skimpy sleepwear. “You’ll be safer there.”
He sat up and swung his legs around until his feet were flat on the floor, confusion joining in with the surprise and relief she could read on his handsome face. “It’s you I’m worried about, Sayre.”
She slowly arched one of her brows. “Are we really going to argue about this, or are you going to just be happy that I’ve decided to make your life a whole lot easier? Would you prefer it if I threw a tantrum and refused to leave?”
“Hell no.”
Her lips twitched as she took a step back. “Then get up and get dressed so that you can help me.”
Pushing his hair back from his face, he shot her a wary look. “What are we doing?”
“I might be able to suck it up and endure a visit, but I’m no more moving back there permanently than you are. So I need to make sure things are in good working order around here before I go.”
His jaw got tight, as did the skin around his eyes. He didn’t like hearing that she would be coming back to the cabin. Though why it would matter to him, she couldn’t understand.
“This place is that important to you?” he asked, as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his parted knees.
“The garden here isn’t just a hobby, Cian. It’s my job, because I run a blog called The Green Witch,” she explained, wondering why her body felt the ridiculous need to blush as she revealed this information. “My income feeds in from my YouTube subscribers, as well as the companies that advertise on my site. I use my garden to make instructional videos on how to do everything from planting and general maintenance to horticultural design.”
He blinked a few times, then scratched the shadow of stubble on his jaw. “Hell, Sayre. That’s pretty damn impressive.”
“I’ll never be a millionaire, but I don’t need to be. I just need a roof over my head and money for the bare essentials.”
His look of admiration slipped into a grimace, and she shook her head, wondering what his problem was. Before she could ask him, he switched gears and said, “The Green Witch, huh? Cute name.”
She smirked. “What the humans don’t know about the truth in the name won’t hurt them.”
A deliciously low laugh rumbled up from his chest, the corner of his mouth kicking up a bit. “I guess not.”
That laugh, as well the freaking lopsided smile that went along with it, was about to put her in meltdown mode, so she quickly retreated, mumbling something about needing to change clothes and would he please put on some coffee.
When she came back out not even ten minutes later, dressed in denim shorts and a white T-shirt, he’d thankfully thrown his shirt back on, and they quickly ate some toast and cereal before heading outside. It took her the better portion of the day to get the automatic watering system set up, as well as the wire netting that would protect her precious plants and flowers from hungry animals.
By the time they finally had the place secured enough that Sayre felt comfortable leaving it, Cian gave off a vibe like he was coming out of his skin, his attention constantly focused on the surrounding woods. She knew the delay in leaving had pissed him off, but he’d been smart enough not to voice his complaints out loud, understanding she was stubborn enough to change her mind. Not that she was going to. Cian’s tension had rubbed off on her to the point that even she was anxious to get the heck out of there. She didn’t know much about this mysterious brother of his—okay, she knew next to nothing—but the fact that he worried the Irishman was enough for Sayre to know he was going to be a crapload of trouble.
After they’d wolfed down a late lunch of sandwiches and chips, she locked up the shed, grabbed her things and they climbed into the Audi.
“Nice car,” she murmured, stroking her hand over the sumptuous leather. The seats in her truck were so cracked that she’d covered them with a quilt her grandmother had made. Her parents, as well as Jillian and Jeremy, had tried to buy her something newer, but she’d refused, unwilling to take their charity. They’d already done too much, helping her remodel the cabin up there in the middle of nowhere, when she’d needed to get away before she suffered a total breakdown.
Her brows pulled together as the memory of how helpless she’d felt during those dark days pressed in on her, and she mentally shoved it to the back of her mind, along with all the other things she didn’t want to think about at the moment. Things like the fact that even if there had been someone she’d wanted to sleep with before she’d left the Silvercrest, like she’d warned him she would do, the problems with her powers would have likely made it impossible. That despite hoping her powers might one day mellow out enough that she could return home, there was a strong chance that she would always be this way. That Cian Hennessey’s absence from her life meant she would forever be alone. That fooling around with him might very well be the only chance for intimacy that she ever had, and boy did that thought suck, seeing as how he’d admitted to wanting her...but clearly hated that he felt that way.
Knowing Cian, he was probably terrified she’d mistake passion for love and start following him around like an adoring puppy dog, constantly begging for his attention.
God, I’d rather die a virgin!
Since she desperately needed to get out of her negative head space, she pressed forward with more chatter about the car. “When do you have to have it back to the rental company?”
“It’s not a rental,” he murmured, handling the powerful engine with ridiculous ease as he took the winding mountain roads. And looking entirely too freaking sexy while he did it.
She whistled under her breath at his response, shocked that he’d spent so much money on a car. The Runners were all financially comfortable, but they didn’t have the kind of wealth that made them able to throw around the amount of cash it took to buy a set of wheels like the Audi. “So what’s the story with that, then? You win the lottery while you were gone?”
He shifted his long body in his seat, his energy moving from relief that they’d finally left to restless again. “Didn’t need to,” he muttered under his breath.
Sayre sensed he’d be happy if she dropped the topic, but given the situation between them, she wasn’t particularly interested in giving him what he wanted. “Then how did you afford it?”
He worked his stubble-covered jaw a few times, then exhaled a sharp breath through his nose before he admitted, “I used money from my trust fund, which I finally started to spend after I quit Bloodrunning. And since I didn’t know how long this thing with Aedan was going to take, I didn’t see the point in renting anything when I could just buy it.”
Her mouth actually hung open for a moment. “Trust fund? Are you serious?”
He grunted in response, and she had to laugh. No wonder the guy had always seemed a little out of place in their small mountain community. He was probably used to living in a freaking mansion, rather than the rugged beauty of Bloodrunner Alley.
She didn’t know much about Cian’s family, other than that his mother had been a member of the pack who’d fallen in love while on vacation in Ireland and had never returned. But Cian never talked about her much, and she couldn’t recall him ever talking about his father. “Do the others know?”
He slid her a shuttered look that was impossible to read, then shook his head and returned his attention to the winding road. He’d explained when they set off that it would likely take them hours to reach the Alley, since they’d be avoiding the main roads, taking smaller ones that were less traveled...and less likely to be monitored by his homicidal brother. She let the conv
ersation about money go, thinking instead about the possible reasons for the Hennessey brothers’ apparent feud. Was it over a woman? The family money? Or something even darker than that? Wouldn’t it have to be, if Aedan wanted to hurt his brother badly enough to kill over it? And that was definitely the point of all this. Cian’s behavior made at least that much apparent.
“So,” he murmured, his deep voice startling her when neither of them had said a word for the past half hour. “I was wondering what your powers are like now.”
Her shoulders lifted in a brief shrug. “Oh, you know. Just typical witch stuff.”
He shot her a look before turning his attention back to the road. “Can you go into a little more detail than that?”
A quiet laugh slipped past her lips. “I can’t read your mind, if that’s what’s worrying you.”
“It wasn’t,” he remarked in a dry tone, “but thanks for clarifying.”
“I can sometimes do that with animals, though, and communicate with them. But it’s pretty rare, and usually only when they need my help.”
“Like with the snakes?” he asked, shifting the Audi into a lower gear as he took a particularly tight turn in the road.
“What?”
“When Elise first came to stay with Wyatt, he and I came back from being out on security patrol one evening and found all the women freaking out because some rattlesnakes had wandered into the Alley. But you were as calm as could be when you came outside and spotted them. Instead of screeching, you just lifted your hands in the air, your eyes all glowing and bright, and those fucking snakes listened to whatever you told them, slithering back into the forest.”
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