Given their past, he’d never once believed that she would let him get close to her like this. And there was always the chance that she would change her mind. Which meant he needed to get the hell on with it, enjoying it while it lasted, and pray to whatever higher power might be listening that he didn’t blow it by losing control.
Lowering his head, he gently swept his lips across hers, using every ounce of strength he possessed to hold himself back, still terrified he’d scare her off. The wolf inside him shuddered with pleasure to finally have the taste of her, and their breaths blended together, the tips of her breasts pressing against his chest as he made a low, thick sound of hunger in the back of his throat. When he pulled his head back to check her reaction, making sure she was still with him, she frowned up at him. “What’s wrong?” he rasped, curving his hand around her nape.
“Is there some kind of problem? Because despite what you keep saying, you seem pretty reluctant.”
You fucking idiot, his wolf snarled, seething beneath his skin. We’ve finally got her and you’re blowing it!
“Not reluctant, Sayre. Just trying to figure out if I’m dreaming.”
Another soft burst of laughter seemed to catch her by surprise as it fell past her lips, and she smirked up at him. “Oh, man. That was a smooth line.”
“I wish it was a line,” he groaned, caging her in with his arms as he pressed his palms flat against the sun-warmed side of the car, her breaths coming in little pants of excitement that he couldn’t get enough of. Then he leaned down and brushed his mouth over hers again, unable to believe how impossibly sweet her lips were. “This would be so much easier if it was,” he growled against that tender mouth, flicking the center of her bottom lip with his tongue.
When she moaned and rubbed her tongue against his, he lost it and thrust past her lips, the kiss turning deep and deliciously wet. It was terrifying as hell, how damn perfect she tasted, the tender recesses of her mouth and that kittenish tongue that kept tempting him to take more on the cusp of landing her in some serious trouble. His gums burned with the weight of his fangs, every dark, dangerous part of him shocked into awareness by the feel and scent and taste of her.
Unable to keep his hands off her, Cian reached down and grasped her hips in a hard, possessive hold, preparing to pull her into his lower body, against the part of him that was getting harder by the second, when she gasped against his mouth in a way that almost sounded like fear. Breaking away from the kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers, his body shaking with the effort it took to stop and wait for her to tell him that she was okay.
“Sorry,” she whispered unsteadily. “I didn’t want you to stop. I’m just...I’m not used to people touching me.”
He knew she meant in a casual way, seeing as how she’d been living on her own for so long. But he also sensed that she was talking about physical intimacy. Whatever the little witch had done with other men after he’d left, there was still a part of her that was somewhat shy when it came to sex, and he both loved and hated it with equal ferocity. Yeah, he was relieved that she hadn’t gone out and banged every guy she could find just to get back at him for being a jackass. But on the other hand, he didn’t quite know what to do with someone who didn’t share his level of sexual experience. That was something he hadn’t messed around with for decades, and, for a moment, he was worried he’d do this all wrong. Go in for too much, too soon, and end up pushing her to call a halt to the whole thing.
He couldn’t let that happen. Not when the taste of her had just hit his system like a shot of pure whiskey. She was even more addictive than he’d feared, and now he was hooked. Walking away from her at this point, before he’d gotten his fill, might damn well finish him off. And while he might not care all that much about dying, he wasn’t going anywhere until he’d dealt with Aedan. No way in hell was he leaving this world until his brother had been taken care of, once and for all, and Sayre was safe.
The touch of her hands curling over his shoulders jerked him from his troubled thoughts, and he couldn’t stop himself from lifting his head to ask, “Why are you really doing this, Sayre? With me of all people?”
Holding his gaze, she said, “I don’t have to tell you my reasons, Cian. You’re either game or you’re not. No pressure. But if we do this, I want it to be worth it.”
“And what, in your mind, makes it worth it?”
“In all honesty? Lots of things. But the pleasure is a part of it. Until this problem with your brother is over, I want you to make me feel good. I want you to rock my freaking world.” Her beautiful eyes gleamed with challenge. “So are you up for it?”
Despite her mention of Aedan, which should have turned his blood cold, his shoulders shook with a silent laugh. “Poor choice of words, lass. I’m always up for it with you.”
“Wow,” she murmured with a smirk. “Look at the old man playing the comedian.”
“I’m not that old,” he grunted as he dipped his head and nipped the delicate edge of her jaw with his teeth.
“Sure you aren’t, baby.”
He rubbed his nose against hers, a smile on his lips that he couldn’t have gotten rid of to save his life. “You’re riling me on purpose, aren’t you, you little witch?”
“Either way,” she quipped, “you’ll never know.”
“Ah, lass. I told you that you shouldn’t play with me,” he growled, holding her head still with his hands as he brought his mouth down over hers again, claiming that damp, succulent part of her like he owned it. The kiss was nothing but pure, unadulterated craving, raw and aggressive and dirty as hell. His tongue pushed into her mouth, stroking against her own in a way that was suggestive of how he wanted to lick at that sweet flesh between her thighs, and he knew that she got it. That she understood what he was trying to tell her with the greedy, explicit demands of his lips and tongue and teeth. His hands burrowed deeper into the silken mass of her hair, turning her head at the angle he needed so that he could get to even more of that hot little mouth, the breathless sounds that she made and the way she clutched at his shoulders as she kissed him back driving him out of his goddamn mind.
Needing to learn more of her, he lowered his arms and pushed his hands under the hem of her shirt, touching her soft, smooth skin. His heart was hammering so hard he was surprised it hadn’t torn free of his chest, his pulse roaring in his ears, the thumping beat keeping perfect time with the guttural howls of his beast. Loving the way she felt, he trailed two fingertips across her soft skin, his path leading to the shallow indentation of her navel. But just as he started to trace his fingertips over the sexy tattoo he knew was inked there, something dark and savage burst inside his head like an explosion, slamming into him with the force of a racehorse at full tilt. He cursed against her mouth, burning with the predatory need to take her down to the ground and bury every inch of his brutal erection deep inside her, at the same time he drove his fangs into the tender column of her throat and bit the holy living hell out of her.
What. The. Fuck?
Was it the force of her own desires suddenly pushing him to take the hot, rich spill of her blood into his mouth and drink her down, marking her as his? The draw of her power? Their connection? Or did the violent craving for complete possession have something to do with him? With what he was? With that part of him that he struggled so hard to keep contained?
Cian wished that he knew the answer, but he was at a loss. All he really knew was that touching her like this, being with her like this, was more incredible than anything he’d ever had before. Even better than he’d imagined it would be, and he’d played out this scenario in his head so many excruciating times it was permanently etched into his memory. Had hungered for it until he’d felt hollowed out inside, bled dry with need.
But if he didn’t stop now, he understood what would happen.
There would be a damn good chance he wouldn’t stop at a
ll.
* * *
Sayre wanted to scream with frustration when Cian suddenly pulled away from her. One second she was lost in the dark, velvety heat of his mouth, his tongue rubbing against hers so wickedly it made her ache for more, and in the next she was staring up at his cold-as-stone expression as he took a step back from her, wondering what on earth had happened.
“Cian?”
He gave one sharp, curt shake of his head, then jerked his chin toward the car. “Get in,” he said in a voice so low it sounded more predator than man. “We need to go.”
She blinked, feeling like he’d just tossed a glass of ice water in her face. “You’re kidding, right?”
His response punched from his lips with so much force it made her flinch. “You want to get down and dirty in a goddamn rest area, Sayre?”
“No,” she returned, though her voice wasn’t nearly as strong as she wanted it to be, her system still reeling from the way he’d kissed her. “I made it clear that I don’t plan on having sex with you. But I thought we could...that we could at least do other things.”
“We could,” he muttered, shoving one of his big hands back through the windblown strands of his hair, “but I need to think.”
“Does this mean you’ve changed your mind?” she demanded, wanting to know now, so that she didn’t make even more of a fool of herself later on.
The look he gave her said he thought she was crazy for even asking such a ridiculous question. For a moment, a warm, sensual buzz of pleasure swept through her, until her next thought quickly sobered her up. Of course he wanted her, at least in a sexual way. The laws of nature wouldn’t have connected them if they weren’t primed for intense attraction to one another. But even though he was finally admitting his need, it didn’t mean that he had to like it. Or accept it. Or embrace it.
From the dark expression on his face, he didn’t plan on doing any of those things. Not a single damn one of them.
As if he could read her mind, he growled, “You don’t need to doubt my desire for you, Sayre. I’m harder than I’ve ever been right now, and it’s because of you.”
She couldn’t help but look down, the sight of his thick erection trapped behind that denim fly making her heart leap into her throat. She gave a hard swallow, embarrassingly aware of the heat burning in her face. Damn it, she wanted to be sophisticated about this, but that just so wasn’t her. All she could do was stand there and gape, wanting to know what the weight of him would feel like in her palm. If he would be smooth or ridged with veins, and how hot his flesh would be to the touch. If she could make him shout with pleasure, and how he would taste and feel on her tongue.
But as she watched him make his way back around the front of the Audi, his tension like a physical force blasting against her in the late-afternoon sunshine, she knew her curiosity wasn’t going to be appeased today. Heck, maybe not ever, if he didn’t manage to let go a little and relax.
She opened her door and climbed inside, her thoughts snagging on something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She could understand Cian being worried about taking things too far, seeing as how the life-mate connection they shared naturally drew them together, even though there was only so far they were willing to go, neither of them wanting to be permanently stuck with the other. And if they had sex, that connection would no doubt compel him to bite her and mark her in a way that would be damn difficult to resist.
But she couldn’t help thinking that there was more to it than that. That something darker than the magnetic, fate-driven “pull” between them was behind his reticence. And her gut told her it had something to do with the man who was trying to hurt her to get to him. She had so many questions about Aedan Hennessey that she didn’t even know where to start. And she didn’t even bother, knowing Cian wouldn’t answer them.
After pulling her door shut, she latched her seat belt and then turned to look at him, surprised to find him just sitting there, watching her, his troubled gaze dark and endlessly deep, filled with so much confusion...as well as frustration. “Does it bother you at all to be around me?” he asked her.
“You mean with my power or just in general?”
His nostrils flared as he pulled in a deep breath, and he muttered, “Your power.”
“So far? No,” she said, giving him an honest answer.
He nodded, then looked away from her and started the engine. As they pulled back out onto the winding mountain road, he seemed to get lost in his thoughts, but the silence didn’t bother her. Her emotions were too raw at the moment to make casual conversation.
Pulling the backpack she’d left on the floorboard into her lap, Sayre took out the iPod Jillian had given her for Christmas and her headphones, then scrolled through her playlists until she found the one titled Free. She’d paid for every track on the list, the meaning of the name going deeper than her measly bank account. It was an eclectic mix of songs that embodied what she wanted most out of life: freedom from her past and the things that held her back.
But as she listened to the first song, she realized that it wasn’t quite fitting for her current set of circumstances, and she wondered if maybe she should put a new list together and call it Strength.
After everything that she’d been through, the last thing that Sayre considered herself was weak. But she was also realistic enough to know that there were times when even the strongest of people needed a little more.
And if she were going to make it through this thing with Cian without any permanent damage to her heart, she had a feeling she was one of them.
Chapter 7
As he steered the powerful sports car into the Alley, Cian couldn’t help but recall the night Eli Drake had returned to the mountains he’d grown up in after an absence of three years. Was this how the mercenary had felt that night? Like he was walking into a dream? One that was both calming and familiar, and yet, oddly terrifying?
Had he felt as out of place as Cian did in that moment, like a stranger in his own home?
Shaking off the uncomfortable thoughts, he put the car into Park, turned off the engine and twisted toward Sayre. She was worrying her lush lower lip with her teeth, her gaze shadowed with something that seemed remarkably close to fear. It made his insides tighten, as if he physically rejected the idea of her feeling that sour emotion when it was his job to protect her.
He might fail disastrously when it came to upholding most of his duties as her mate, but ensuring she felt safe was one that he had every intention of carrying out.
For the moment, his wolf muttered. Some hero you are.
Ignoring the sarcastic jibe—leave it to him to have an inner wolf that constantly sported an attitude—he studied her as she slipped off the headphones she’d been wearing for the past hour and dropped them back into her pack. “You feeling okay?”
She pulled in a slow breath. “So far, so good.”
“If it gets to be too much, let me know. We can have as much privacy as you want.”
“Privacy didn’t help before.”
Knowing exactly what he was doing, he shot her a heated look, and let a slow smile lift the corner of his mouth. “If you need me to, I think I can find a way to get your mind focused on something besides your powers.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Now you decide to flirt with me? God, you have some seriously craptastic timing.”
He didn’t know how she managed to make him laugh in the middle of some of the tensest situations in his life, but she did. “Craptastic? Is that even a real word?”
Shrugging a slender shoulder, she sighed. “I don’t know. I just...” Confusion clouded her gaze. “You mess with my head, Cian.”
Since that didn’t necessarily sound like a good thing, he let it go as he opened his door and climbed out into the warm, slightly humid evening. Pulling in a deep breath of the forest-sc
ented air, he almost felt light-headed from the way it hit his system. Not as potent as Sayre, but still meaningful, like he was pulling in a deep breath of home. There was no other place in the world that smelled like this to him, and it made his heart hurt to think that he was going to lose it again when all was said and done.
Only because you’re too stubborn and pigheaded, his beast grumbled.
Mentally flipping off the wolf, he closed his door, shooting Sayre a look over the top of the car as she did the same. Worry for her punched him low in the gut, and even though he knew this was the safest place she could be once Aedan made his appearance, he also knew that he wouldn’t force her to stay if it became too much for her. With a nod of encouragement, he turned and faced the small group that was making their way toward them. Jeremy must have decided to come back to be there for Jillian, because he was walking right beside her, while Mic and Brody followed just behind them.
The mercs who worked with Eli Drake were there, as well, and he found a frown tugging at his mouth. He could have done without them, seeing as how Sayre had been pretty close to a few of them before he’d left, but he knew they were permanent residents in the Alley now. Single ones, from the looks of it, since the four of them—Lev Slivkoff, Kyle Maddox, Sam Harmon and James Bennett—were still without wedding rings. But that was hardly surprising. They were even bigger womanizers than he’d once been, though that seemed like a lifetime ago.
Keeping a wary eye on the group, Cian moved to stand at the back of the car, his muscles tightening with awareness as Sayre came to stand beside him. The wind was tossing her wild mane of curls against his arm, the silky caresses striking him as oddly sensual, considering it was simply the touch of her hair. But it seemed that his mind equated everything to do with the little witch with sex, from that devastatingly sensual scent that he wanted to draw into his mouth and bite down on, to the way she chewed on her bottom lip when she was deep in thought. If he didn’t know how much she resented being linked to him, he would have thought she’d put some kind of spell on him. One that made him crave the scent and touch and taste of her.
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