by Peter Dawes
“I guarantee it would.” Whatever my expression managed to convey to her, it was enough for her gaze to turn solemn. She shifted to my side by a few paces and stopped again to size me up. “You’ve always been stubborn. I haven’t forgotten that about you. It took me nagging you for weeks before you started taking more naps at the hospital between your shifts.”
“Yes, but as you just stated, I did give in eventually.”
“Not before I threatened to lock you in your own bathroom and force you to sleep in the tub.” She brightened when I chuckled, dispelling some of the heaviness for a moment. The mirth dispelled quickly, however, leaving us to languish in the bittersweet again. “I knew this wasn’t going to easy. I didn’t even warn Robin that you might not make it out of that alive.”
Sighing, I shrugged. “Robin is an astute enough man. Our final exchange bore just enough a hint of finality to it that I doubt he shall be surprised.”
“You’re probably right about that.” Whether or not the gesture bore any use to it, she took in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. “I’m sorry. I wish I could’ve told you everything the last time we spoke, but I couldn’t. Things work differently on this side of the fence. They only let me give you enough for you to keep going.”
“I could hardly blame you for that, my dear. Or for the situation in general.”
“We’re pieces on a chess board, white knights or otherwise.”
“All the world is a stage, is it not?” A wan smile flashed in and out of existence before I glanced away. My eyes became distant, as though they could behold anything other than the void surrounding me. It left me floundering for what to say next. “So, this confirms it. I truly am dead.”
“I told you we wouldn’t see each other again until then.”
“Yes, you did.” The weights on my heart only grew heavier. “I have had this coming. I know that, however…” My eyes found Lydia again. “I am having a difficult time wrapping my mind around the concept. Immortality lends itself to a false presumption.”
“That you have all the time in the world?” A faint smile touched the corners of her lips. “I’m sure that’s not the only reason you’re having trouble.”
We exchanged a long, lingering gaze. I nodded. “Yes, it is the least of things.”
“I know.”
Tempted though I was to look away once more, Lydia approached me and forced us to maintain eye contact. I opened my mouth to speak, but she lifted a hand, touching my mouth to stop me. “You don’t have to say it, Peter,” she said. “In fact, I won’t hear you talk about regretting anything with my sister. Period. I don’t care if it’s only an apology, it’s still more than she deserves. Especially when I already knew the two of you would wind up together.”
I perked an eyebrow as she moved her hand away. “Knew or not, it still must be a bitter pill to swallow,” I said.
“Do I wish I had been the one who fought by your side? Of course I do. At the same time, there are a lot of roads you’ve walked down that I wouldn’t have been able to handle.” Her smile turned coy. “You know me.”
I could not help but to reciprocate the grin. “I would not have wanted you to know the man I am now. That Monica loves me despite all that is a testimony to who she is.” Simply saying her name forced a new knot to form in my stomach. After everything that had happened… “I shall never see her again. Not this side of death.”
Lydia reached forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. Looking down into the black nothingness, I frowned. “She deserved better,” I said, “Not me. I have done so many things. Not even that distantly. Over the course of the last few days alone, I have murdered people and sold my soul to the Devil out of wrath. I have not earned mercy.”
“I don’t think anyone who’s ever been forgiven really deserved it, Peter,” Lydia said.
“Regardless, where does this leave her?” My eyes found my former lover again. “What will become of her?”
“I don’t know. I’m an instrument of the Fates, not omniscient.”
“And yet, I find that unacceptable. Hand me heaven on a silver platter and I would refuse it. If I am not to suffer perdition, I should sooner be sent back to Earth to wrestle myself there than be sent to heaven. I am no martyr, but I am no saint, either.”
Lydia raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you grasp just how unfair of an exchange that is, Peter. Life is suffering and hardship. Heaven is peace.”
“Of which I would say, grant her this peace and not me. Save my lot for her when she passes and give her what I could not. You knew me as a sad man, but she has looked into the eyes of a vampire and seen the good in them, regardless of the toll he had exacted. Through Monica, I have known what it is like to be human again.”
After a long, meditative pause, Lydia nodded, her expression turning from pensive to resolved in a matter of seconds. She had glanced away, but as she looked back at me, I failed to see the old lover in her eyes. The words which passed through her lips seemed to belong to somebody else. “Peter, the will of the Fates has been to reward you for your sacrifice all along,” she said. “You were delivered to the vampires for a reason. You were trained up to be a fighter and saved at the moment you were needed. And you executed your purpose exactly as was intended. If you have determined your payment, then it will come to pass.”
“I have,” I said, not certain what it was I had selected and distinctly aware that I had given up the right to negotiate. At the same time, the peculiar delivery of her speech left me too curious to take it back.
“Very well then.” As she lifted up her hand, it bore the same luminescent glow mine did when I evoked my powers. “Receive what has been due to you.”
Her palm pressed flat against my chest, generating a pleasant shiver which ran through me from head to foot. A smile surfaced on her face again, and through the light I saw Lydia Davies as I remembered her, certain I would never see her again. “Goodbye, Peter,” she said. “And good luck.”
I furrowed my brow. Just as I motioned to respond, however, the chills grew in intensity, bringing with it the urge to fall into a deep sleep. I felt tranquility burst through me, my burdens lifted in the short few seconds of consciousness I had been afforded. As I drifted away, I still did not know what to expect, barely trusting that it might actually be a reward and not another trick from the powers-that-be.
It turned out I had underestimated just how much of a reward it would be.
***
Pain, throughout my entire body, a stark contrast to the serenity which had pulled me under and the first thing I became aware of. Drawing a sharp breath, I moaned involuntarily, fighting to open my eyes and unsuccessful in my first few attempts. My chest burned and aches littered my arms and legs, with pinprick tingles rising from my limbs. As my lungs filled again, a violent, hacking cough assailed me, forcing me to all fours to attempt getting out whatever it was that had gotten stuck in there.
Drumming filled my head, loud at first and falling into a steady rhythm just as I finally managed to lift my lids. A few additional coughs assailed me as I attempted to take inventory of the room surrounding me. Vaguely, I remembered the condition of the platform before I had fallen and wondered how the two could be the same place. Rubble littered the surrounding area. The stands had been decimated several levels up and everywhere around me, piles of dust and personal effects verified the fate of the other vampires. The shattered gemstone lay where it had been, now covered in ash and with none of its luster.
Wincing, I struggled to a stand, the effort slow and laborious, and inspiring another litany of aches to pulse through me.
I blinked, knowing something else had changed while attempting to put my finger on precisely what. The drumming noise continued, loud when I first came to my feet, but subsiding the longer I stood still. A bad taste surfaced in my throat, bearing the tang of copper and not in a flattering manner. Lifting a hand, I touched my lips. When I pulled my fingers away, I spied them coated with blood.
As
much as I could manage in the dark, that was to say.
The dark. Brow furrowed, I wondered if candles had been extinguished by the fight. As I glanced up toward the stairs, however, I noticed the ambient light of the oil lamps and realized a few remained lit in various points in the room. My chest expanded, and another cough rattled past my lips, but the act of breathing became natural to me again, subconsciously establishing its own rhythm.
Suddenly, the thought of what I was doing finally registered. The drums picked up their tempo. Only then did I realize it was because a sense of overwhelming anxiety had taken flight within me at the same moment. Lifting a hand, I pressed my fingers against my throat, my eyes widening when I felt the same frantic beat present in my veins. “I have a pulse,” I murmured. An uproarious burst of laughter followed the admission, echoing with the sound of madness present in it. “Good gods, what is this witchcraft?”
Thrusting a finger into my mouth, I tasted the copper again, but ignored it as I felt for my fangs. Where once there had been sharp incisors, the dull, unpointed teeth of a mortal now lay present. It only inspired another chuckle when I removed my fingers. “What in the heavens… What is all of this?” I asked. My feet stumbled forward, almost of their own accord, and I nearly spilled out when I tripped over my katana. The sight of its gleaming steel knocked me from the moment, if just for a brief spell. I bent, lifting my weapon and beholding it with new eyes.
The once pristine metal now bore a chip at the end of it. I smirked, patting my side and sliding the weapon back into its sheath once I found it. Another laugh bubbled to the surface, my next few steps labored, but determined and leading me back to the stairs I had descended upon entering. Somehow, I managed upward, and even when my legs felt weak, I pushed myself to take the next stair and the one following. By the time I reached the top, I had to lean on the wall for support. My heart raced and my lungs burned. But I had been granted the impossible.
I had been given my humanity once again.
I made it two paces into the adjoining hallway before I saw two shadows play across the wall in the firelight. Pausing, I struggled to listen to a whispered conversation and smiled when I recognized the voices. “No, it’s been longer than ten minutes,” she said. Her silhouette broke free from the other’s and headed in my direction. “I’m going back in.”
“I wouldn’t advise that,” he said. Try as he might, though, Robin could not hold her back. She dashed forward, emerging into the back of the corridor and freezing once she caught sight of me. Robin came up behind her, but stopped several feet shy of her, a look of confusion overtaking his countenance.
She was none-the-wiser yet. “Peter.” The amount of relief in her voice as she spoke my name was rivaled only by the way her eyes shimmered, her shoulders falling and a smile breaking out on her face. Whatever condition she beheld me in, it had to have been unnerving and yet, it failed to stop her from entering into a sprint. Monica made up the distance between us and I found the energy to push from the wall and open my arms up to her.
Leaping into them, she forced me to stumble backward a few steps, but somehow I kept from losing my balance. Monica pressed her lips against mine without asking permission. I wrapped my arms around her, one hand shifting to her backside to support her weight better. One kiss begat another and only then did she pull away, her brow furrowed as her gaze met mine.
I smiled wide enough to show off my dull teeth. “I have missed you as well, Dearest,” I said.
Whatever she might have missed in the heat of the moment suddenly shone on her face. Her eyes widened, mouth hanging agape while I laughed at her reaction. “Peter?” she asked, as though that was the only thing her mind would permit her to say.
“Still in one piece. Though, perhaps a trifle different than I might have been a few minutes ago.” I could not erase the smile on my face, and nor did I wish to. “A near-death experience scared the life right back into me.”
“You bastard.” Monica barked a laugh, her hands moving to cup my face while she touched foreheads with me. I smiled in response, eyes shutting just to savor the moment of her pressed against me, not needing anything else in that moment but her in my arms. Her thumb brushed against my cheek and I felt the moisture from a tear as it escaped her eyes and landed on my face. “You have a pulse,” she said. “You son-of-a-bitch, you have a pulse.”
“Now, is that any way to speak of my mother?”
“I swear to God, you…” Monica trailed off as her smile vanished somewhat, expression given over to a look of wonder. My grin only broadened in response. As our lips met again, the kiss we engaged in felt laden with sentiment, something hard won through more trials than either of us had the strength to recount just yet. We felt it our bones, though, and communicated it in our actions, pulling away after a few breathless seconds, our noses still touching.
The moment continued to linger, however, both of us bent on reveling in it. As she continued to flood my senses, I could not help but to marvel at how dulled they were now, and yet how full of vitality. I might have once seen so much in the darkness, but now, I looked forward to beholding her in the light. “And I thought myself alive a few moments ago,” I said, my eyes remaining shut and my arms clutching onto Monica tighter. I now knew what it was like to hold onto someone on the other side of hell. I had crossed the realm where demons lay and become one myself. There was no way I could have relished being able to take another breath again without the experience, and now that I had it back, I was bent to cling onto it. “Now I know I truly am.”
I heard the smile in her voice as she responded. “A little rusty on the medicine there, Dr. Dawes?”
“More than a little. Perhaps you might help me refresh my knowledge a trifle.”
“Saucy. Not until I get you alone.”
“Better that sooner than later.”
As the words escaped my mouth, they brought the epiphany that she and I had not been alone. Allowing my eyes to finally open, I peered over her shoulder and saw Robin yet standing in the distance, looking at us. The light caught a slight shimmer in his gaze, his posture straightening when our eyes met. I furrowed my brow as he looked me over and nodded once.
“Well done, brother,” Robin said, both hands digging into his pockets, forcing his shoulders to slump a little. I opened my mouth to say something, but he turned away before I could, a brisk, determined stride leading him away from the corridor, undoubtedly to bring him back out into the city. Watching him go, I fought against frowning, tempted to call out for him, but squandering the chance while I had it.
Monica glanced over her shoulder, then looked back at me. “We’ll go look for him later,” she said.
My gaze shot back to her. The smile returned, this time more subdued. “Perhaps we shall. I do not know,” I said. Glancing back at where he had been standing, I sighed. “I cannot imagine what he must be thinking. I cannot figure out what I should even think. Five years gone like a dream and yet, who can pretend they did not happen?”
“I don’t think that’s the point, but maybe that’s just me.” Slowly, she slid out of my grasp, her feet touching the floor with me bending to ensure the transition finished smoothly. My muscles ached in protest and fought me as I straightened to a stand.
Feeling her gaze on me, I laughed after the final twinge passed, perking an eyebrow while shifting my attention back to the short, devilish imp before me. Monica smirked. “Got your ass kicked a little?” she asked.
“Nothing that a little fresh air would not remedy,” I said. Nodding toward the end of the corridor, I felt a much more playful smile curl the corners of my lips. “If I had to guess, Robin has enough time to get indoors, but not much. The sun should be rising soon.”
“Yes, it should.”
“Then what do you say we make a morning of it?”
I offered her my arm and waited patiently while she looped hers around it. One gloved hand came to rest on my elbow, a silent nod all she needed to give me a push forward. My stride bo
re a slight limp to it still, and lacked the same light steps to which I had become accustomed. At the same time, I would not have traded even the jolts of pain for anything else.
The hallways and stairs leading back into the city lacked any sign of my brother. By the time we emerged, the sky bore the first hints of the rising sun, inspiring a reflexive pang of dread within me. It mixed with a burst of excitement, and what vestiges of it I wore on my face caused Monica to laugh. Stepping out from the church, we headed toward the horizon, our conversation paused in what felt like silent recognition of the miraculous. It lasted until we reached a set of stairs winding up to one of the tourist attractions.
There, she sat on the next stair down from me, nestled between my legs and curled against me, her eyes fixed eastward with me. In the silence surrounding us, I experienced far more serenity than I dared think possible, aware of needing to be nowhere or do absolutely nothing further. I watched one of the early morning pedestrians walk past, marveling that I did not hear either their pulse or their thoughts. Right then and there, we were simply two humans, enjoying the remnant of the night.
“So, how does it feel?” Monica asked as I wrapped my arms around her. She rested her head in the crook of my arm. “Did you ever think we’d be sitting in Rome watching the sun rise?”
I barked out a laugh. “No,” I said through another chuckle. “Not without being forced to watch it indoors, far from any windows.”
“We could’ve always tried sunscreen. Maybe one of those big ol’ beach umbrellas, too.”
“Dearest, I do not know what I missed more about you, your companionship or your jesting.”
“Admit it, it was boring without me. Robin didn’t look like the kind to tell jokes.”
“No, he did not hold a candle to you in that department.” The reminder of her captivity threatened to chase my smile away. I held fast to it, lest it depart. “After all of that, you would have thrown a coat over me and sat in the shade so we could watch a sunrise?”