by Jillian Neal
Unable to help herself, Kaitlyn threw her arms around Mrs. Camden’s neck. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Come on,” she patted Kaitlyn’s back and squeezed her harder. “Let’s go outside.”
“The wind makes it a little harder for me to hear.”
“Not much wind today, but I’ll speak up. Just ask the boys, Mama can make certain she’s heard when she needs to be.”
They settled out on Grant’s front porch with the coffee. “It’s so beautiful here,” Kaitlyn sighed. Expansive fields painted in the colors of the mid-morning sun as far as the eye could see. She wondered where all of the cows were at the moment, but then remembered that Grant’s cattle had been moved to Luke’s fields, wherever they were.
“That it is, and this is delicious.” Mrs. Camden lifted her coffee in exultation to Kaitlyn. “I might stop by here on the regular.”
Smiling, Kaitlyn wondered if she was just teasing or if his family did pop in often. She wouldn’t mind at all, unless she and Grant were busy doing something they wouldn’t want an audience for.
“I’d love that. Grant was telling me that you and Mr. Camden used to live here when he was little.”
“Yep, it all started right here. Somehow it seems like that was both yesterday and a hundred years ago. Oh, that reminds me, the back far left burner on the stove is ornery. You have to start it a few times before it lights. Ev never got that fixed before we moved out, and Grant Camden loves to eat, but ain’t much in the way of a cook.”
Grant’s hesitant confession that his family thought she was here to stay for a lifetime swirled in her mind once again. It just couldn’t be that easy. Nothing was ever that easy. “If I get a chance to use the stove, I’ll remember,” she assured Mrs. Camden.
Kaitlyn caught a quick furrow of her brow. “Some reason you wouldn’t get to cook here?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Downing a long sip of coffee kept her from telling Grant’s mother that nothing in her life ever worked out the way she wanted it to.
“You know, when I first moved out here, Ev’s mama was a little wary of me. I loved to cook, too. Only thing at the time I thought I was any good at. She resented me a little. I promised myself back then if I ever had kids and one of my boys ever brought home a girl that could do the things I pride myself on that I’d help them. I’d invite them in. Two sets of hands are always better than one. If you love cookin’, sweetheart, you just come right on up to the house and we’ll make all the cattle ranchers deliriously happy with what we whip up.”
“That would mean the world to me, Mrs. Camden. Thank you.”
“Believe me, it’s my pleasure.”
Inventorying the surrounding prairie lands again, she couldn’t help but grin. “It feels like the whole rest of the world is so far away from here. It’s so peaceful.”
“Do you wish the rest of the world weren’t right outside the fences, sweetheart?”
“Maybe. That’s a dumb wish though, right?” Heat blossomed across Kaitlyn’s cheeks once again. Even his mother made her blush. That couldn’t be a good sign.
“Not at all. We all need a place to hide away every once in a while. But at some point you might find that the problems outside the fences only get bigger when we pretend they aren’t there. I’ve been sitting here telling you about the time after I got here, but did Grant tell you how Ev and I met?”
“No ma’am.”
“I’ll keep it short, but it’s a good story so scoot over here closer so you can hear it.”
Laughing, Kaitlyn did as she was told.
“I was about your age, and just out of a spider’s web.”
“A spider’s web?”
“That’s what I like to call it. I came up in Denver, and I’d just broken up with a man who wouldn’t be fit to lick the manure off Ev Camden’s boots. My wings were all but broken. I had a good job, but traveled more than I cared for. And one day my traveling brought me out here when I was supposed to be somewhere between Lincoln and Omaha, not between Cheyenne and Lincoln. Fate gets her way when she wants it. I ran outta gas. Everett and two of his buddies came up on my car and that was that. Or at least that’s what I tell the kids.”
A rush of delight filled Kaitlyn. “Does that mean you’re going to tell me more than you tell your kids?” She couldn’t believe that. Her parents never told her anything. She felt like a little girl being let in on a secret.
“Figure I might as well. I feel like talkin’ and you need to hear this. When I finally relented to Ev and let him convince me that he loved me and wanted me forever, I let myself pretend that Denver and the spider were just too far away for me to worry over. This ranch and Ev’s arms were my sanctuary, and if I pretended hard enough the entire state of Colorado ceased to exist, which was just the way I preferred for it to be.
“But life don’t much like to be erased from existence. Can’t have a future if we never had a past. If you erase all the things that hurt you, you also erase all the things that were so good they made the bad times hurt. Can’t have the sunrise if it never sets, so to speak.
“While I was busy pretending I’d just appeared in Pleasant Glen and that I didn’t give half a hoot or a holler about the twenty-four years before that, my daddy was busy working himself to death. For as much as I resented him never being there for me when I was growing up, always working all the time, I never got to say goodbye. And I can’t ever have that moment back. Even if I get to see him again when I get to those pearly gates, I can’t undo that. So, don’t let life outside of those fences go on for too long without you. It never stays still. It keeps right on marching along.”
“We’ll be fine. It’ll work itself out. You’re still showing a hell of a profit from a few years back,” Luke was trying to sound reassuring, but Grant could tell he was worried. He stared down at the ancient adding machine in the dimly lit office willing the negative sign in front of the painfully large number off of the damned machine.
“Can’t believe we lost thirty-seven steers, a dozen heifers, and 1500 acres of corn.” Austin shook his head.
“I lost the corn. You lost a few cows,” Grant couldn’t help but argue. Complete and utter failure chaffed his bones. His brain throbbed with it. Both of his brothers rolled their eyes.
“I don’t know, man, cattle’s up, corn’s been down for two years now. Tempting for us to tear them fields up, burn ‘em back, get some grass growing, and buy spring stock to run on the land,” Austin stated what everyone else was thinking.
“Don’t mean cattle won’t be down next year and corn’ll be up,” Luke tried to ease the blow.
“Yeah, only problem with that thinkin’ is that wheat’s heading down too, meaning cattle’s likely going with it and we’re screwed six ways from Sunday.” If Grant had to be the realist, so be it. His entire body ached. Tension mounted on his shoulders like four tons of concrete brick. All in the world he wanted was Kaitlyn. If he could just go home and hear her voice, he swore he could leave the numbers in the office. And if he could take hold of her, feel her in his arms, feel her breath on his chest, he figured he could forget about commodities, and stock, and downed crops altogether.
“You know, I didn’t get myself thrown off of bulls just for the glory of it,” Austin tried.
“Bullshit,” Grant and Luke bellowed simultaneously.
“Fine, so I did, but there is a shit ton of money sitting in the Camden family business account. We’re gonna be okay.”
“We ain’t touching your winnings. We’ll figure something else out.” Luke started to pace.
“If I burn it back and then run cattle on that land, I can’t go back to corn for a year or more. If corn goes back up, we’re out,” Grant considered the possibilities.
“You lost over $40,000 last year when the markets crashed,” Austin took three large steps backwards as he said this, as if Grant wasn’t already aware.
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Looked to be a bumper of a crop this y
ear, though. He would’a made it back.”
“Not if the markets never turned. I’m so fucking sick of rich men spreading their shit around to get richer off ‘a my work and me never seein’ a fucking dime of it.”
“Ranching’s a crap shoot on a good day. Don’t mean I wanna sit behind a desk taking orders from some asswipe. If I’m gonna sit anywhere, it’ll be on my horse,” Luke huffed.
Unable to sit there and stare at that damned number any longer, Grant stood. “All I know is I need a beer.”
“We got beer right here.” The jangle of beer bottles filled the dusty air as Austin opened the small refrigerator they’d put out in the office when both the corn and cattle market had been up and they’d had more than enough money to spare.
Gall pricked at his sunburned neck. “I don’t want that beer.”
“Um-hmm,” Luke chuckled. “Let me guess, the beer that’s in the house that also contains the cute little red head you brought home yesterday should hit the spot, right?”
“That a problem?” Grant bellowed.
“Easy there, slim, you might want to cool it before you go scaring off your city girl with your ornery-assed mood,” Austin warned. “She ain’t a cowgirl. She probably doesn’t understand how much a good hard fuck can ease crashing corn commodities.”
“Shut the fuck up, Austin,” Luke scolded. “My God, you ever use your boots on the ground or do you always got one stuck in your mouth? Indie’s anxious to get out of the house. I’ll see if Mama and Daddy’ll watch my girls. Let’s head to Saddlebacks. I could use something stronger than a beer.”
“I was just calling it like I saw it, but Saddlebacks sounds good to me,” Austin agreed.
“Yeah, fine, but not right now,” Grant couldn’t argue that a night out might do a lot to improve his mood, and Kaitlyn had to be getting bored up at the house.
Debating as he slammed his truck door, he scooted up the front porch. He didn’t want to startle her. She could usually hear his voice, but he’d bet what little was left in his bank accounts she couldn’t hear him coming in the house.
“Katy Belle,” hung on his tongue, but he never called. She was sitting on the sofa looking good enough to eat in one of his shirts and a pair of blue jeans that appeared to have been painted on. Only problem, his mama was sitting right beside her.
“Hey, Mama.” He nodded to the woman who’d given him birth but marched straight to Kaitlyn, leaned down, and plastered her mouth with his own. Her taste teased at his lips. More. He just needed more. So fucking much more.
But he of all people knew you almost never got what you wanted. Shocked with his vehemence, she pulled back.
“Grant,” she hissed quietly.
“I ain’t near done.”
“He is more stubborn than a mule with a purpose. Gets it from his granddaddy. Don’t worry, son, I’ll leave you two be.” His mother smacked him on the ass as she passed him. “Behave.”
Kaitlyn erupted into hysterical giggles that eased a little of the tension from his day. Not as much as another kiss would’ve, but he thanked the Lord for small favors.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Hi there.” A heady mix of bliss and relief worked through Kaitlyn. She’d enjoyed spending the afternoon with his mother, but what she really wanted was to be back in his arms.
Another one of those sexy as sin grunts was his response as he fell to his knees in front of her, threaded his fingers through her hair and guided her lips back to his.
The heat of his body and the now-familiar scent of hay and leather coupled with his musk filled her lungs. Where most of his kisses were demanding and hungry, this one held notes of desperation, like he needed something only she could provide.
A quick moan escaped her mouth as he worked his lips over the markings on her neck from the wreck. His fingers set to work on the buttons of the shirt she was wearing.
“So fucking sexy having you in my shirt, sweetness, but I want you nekkid.”
“These are Natalie’s jeans.”
“Jay-sus. What the hell?” He jerked back like he’d been struck. “Did you have to tell me that?”
Another round of giggles overtook her. “I thought it was sweet she leant them to me.”
“Yeah, well Nat can be a real sweetheart when she wants to be and as long as you don’t stand in the way of most anything she wants to do, but you lookin’ good enough to tempt a eunuch and them being my little sister’s jeans confuses a man. Take ‘em off. That’ll solve everything.”
“But your mom told you to behave.” God, she loved the wild intention that radiated from his eyes. Grant Camden could be an absolute saint, and he was most certainly her savior, but his sinner side was more appealing than just about anything else.
Determination perforated his low greedy tone. It wouldn’t take much and she would succumb to that voice all over again. “You can ask Mama later ‘bout how well I behaved coming up. Not much has changed. I need you, sugar.”
“Well, she also said we should come up to their house for supper, and that I can help cook since I didn’t do anything much this morning.”
His grunt of frustration came next.
She loved flirting with him. She loved being in his presence. She loved where this would inevitably lead as soon as she ran out of made-up excuses. She loved … no. No, no, no. Regret vanquished the desire coursing through her veins. The only man she’d ever said that to had been Seth. She’d been certain she was supposed to say it to the man she was engaged to, but it had all been a lie. Empty words in an effort to make herself believe them. She’d never much cared if Seth had.
“What?” Grant demanded.
“I told your mom I’d help with supper.”
“Nah, not that. You were coming up with some’um else to say to put me off ‘cause you’re wanting to be chased and then all of a sudden you started thinking about him again, didn’t you?”
“How did you know that?”
“’Cause you get this look on your face. I can’t figure out what it is exactly, not mad or sad, just … I don’t know … lost maybe. Kinda scares me when you get that look in your eye, to be honest.”
“Grant, I know it’s only been a few days but please believe me, I’ve never felt more found than I have right here with you. It’s just that it has only been a few days and I still don’t know what to do when I leave here. I mean, I do have to leave here at some point, don’t I?”
“Not if you don’t want to. Fact, I’d much prefer you didn’t.”
“Pretty sure that’s just wishful thinking.”
“Only thing I’m wishin’ is that you’d stop thinking about your shithole of an ex and get nekkid for me. Bet your sweet little pussy’s feelin’ neglected, ain’t it, peaches? I bet it’s needin’ to be licked, and I’m powerful thirsty for it. I won’t have you needin’ and me not providing, but I might be willing to just hold you and we could talk about what happens when you leave here if you’re damned and determined to go at some point.”
Seating himself beside her, he scooped her up into his lap, and just like that he swept away her regret and her confusion. “Talk, baby. I ain’t at all sure how long I’m gonna be able to sit here holding your sexy self without my cock wanting some attention.”
“You really are relentless, aren’t you?”
“When it comes to you? Hell yeah. That a problem?” Concern darkened his pale green eyes. Kaitlyn wanted nothing more than to erase it from their depths.
“Not even a little bit. I don’t really want to talk about leaving here because I don’t want to think about that yet, but I also don’t think we can have sex again right now.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because your daddy is heading this way.” Disappointment doused the fire she’d been trying to resurrect between them as she pointed out the windows by the front door.
“Wonder what he needs?” Grant lost a little of the frustration in his tone. He patted her backside as he hugged her tighter to him before
he settled her on her feet. “Fair warning, the longer it takes me to get between your sexy thighs, the harder I’m gonna be when I get there.”
“Mmm, maybe I’ll put you off a little longer.”
“Naughty little vixen with an innocent angel face. You’re danger with a capital D, sugar.”
Kaitlyn sincerely wished she were a naughty vixen or even knew how to behave as one for Grant. That’s what she’d set out to become in New York. So much for that plan. “There is absolutely nothing dangerous about me at all.”
“That’s an outright lie and probably good for another few strikes.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Woman, quit arguing with me. Turns me on when you get stubborn, and I think about paddling that ass. Dad’ll be in here in a sec, and I ain’t got time to prove you wrong.”
Before she could respond, his father was standing at the door. She wasn’t certain if his knock was just very light or if he hadn’t knocked at all before Grant opened the door. Either way she hadn’t heard it.
“I’m sorry. I know I’m interrupting.”
“It’s all right, Mr. Camden. Come on in. Can I make you something to drink?” Manners had been preached, lectured, and branded into Kaitlyn from the time she was a small child. It was an automatic response.
Grant smirked and his father appeared astonished. “Darlin’, if you can get some of that good breeding into him, we’d be much obliged. Did you hear that, son? You better take good care of her. I wouldn’t mind a beer, and I know my son has some cold.”
“I intend to, Dad. You need something ‘sides a beer?” Mentally thanking his lucky stars that Kaitlyn was comfortable enough in his home to play hostess, Grant grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped the cap, and handed it to his old man.
“Well, I was thinking about your downed corn and the money you lost, and I wish you’d let me help you.”
“Dad, I’ll be fine. I ain’t takin’ money out of the family accounts for my losses.”
“Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that, but I went into town today to see about ordering you another bulk feeder and I ran into Wes Ablekopp.”