by Logan Jacobs
“Hey, what’s Miles’ favorite color?” she suddenly asked.
“Why?” I asked without taking my eyes off the two lovebirds and their romantic dinner.
“Just wondering,” she replied. “I kinda wanted to change up my suit a little, so it’s more like yours.”
“What do you mean?” I demanded.
“Oh, you know,” Penumbra giggled. “Sexy. That’s what Miles likes, right? Don’t you think my current outfit is a little too cutesy?”
The flared skirt at the end of her leotard did put her firmly into the “cute” range, but I didn’t really like her trying to copy my outfit, and I also definitely wasn’t about to tell her that Miles’ favorite color was black, even though I knew a suit like mine wouldn’t look nearly as good on her runway-model-thin legs.
“Did you design your outfit yourself?” I asked to try to steer the topic of conversation away from Miles’ preferences.
“Yeah,” she said. “It was one of the few things the Shadow Knight actually let me pick out on my own.”
“I think it looks fine,” I tried to compliment her.
“Oh, I know it does,” the blonde said, “but it’s not what Miles likes to see.”
“So what?” I replied.
“So, I want to impress him, duh,” she giggled again and covered her mouth with both hands. “He’s into you, so I want to wear what you wear.”
I realized I was being catty, and I realized that Miles and I hadn’t discussed our relationship status, but I really wished the blonde would stop asking so much about Miles every chance she seemed to get. I didn’t mind Penumbra for the most part, but whenever she started to pester me about Miles, I felt a bit territorial. She might have made a decent superheroine partner once she’d gotten some confidence in herself, but she didn’t deserve Miles.
“What about Beacon?” I asked.
“What?” she exclaimed and then burst into laughter. “No way, ew. He’s like my brother. Miles is so much hotter!”
I agreed with that, but it really didn’t help my problem with her.
“The Shadow Knight?” I suggested.
“I don’t think he’s interested in sex at all,” the blonde replied. “He’s, like, super weird about it.”
“I’ve heard something like that,” I said, but I didn’t press the matter.
I didn’t really want to push further on the Shadow Knight’s sex life, or rather, lack of a sex life. Whenever the subject of her ex-teacher came up, Penumbra became quiet and contemplative, so it made for an awkward topic to talk about.
At least the Shadow Knight was good for one thing: killing conversations.
We lapsed into silence again as the waiter brought Bonnie and Clyde their food. They’d ordered an outrageous amount of lavish, expensive dishes that made my stomach growl.
“So,” Penumbra started again, “do you think I could just cut off the skirt of my outfit so it’s more of a leotard, like yours? I think Miles--”
“Alright,” I interrupted her before she could go off on another tangent about how she could seduce my boyfriend. “You know Miles is my boyfriend, right?”
“Um, yeah, I know that,” she replied, “but you didn’t seem to mind when I brought him up, so…”
“I’m not jealous or anything,” I told her, “and I don’t control him, but I’m obviously not interested in helping you seduce him.”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” Penumbra seemed genuinely shocked by my reaction. “I didn’t mean it like that at all. I really like you, and I really like him, and I’m really sorry if it comes across badly. I’m not trying to steal him from you or anything, I just--”
“It’s alright,” I sighed. “I get it, really, but you need to relax.”
“He’s just got that reputation for dating multiple women, so I thought you liked me, and would be okay with him and me--”
“Look, let’s just focus on the mission,” I sighed.
“I really admire you, too,” she continued as she sheepishly curled a lock of blonde hair around her finger. “I want to be more like you, so it’s not just to impress Miles… but that’s definitely a plus.”
“I appreciate it,” I said, because I could sense how genuine she was. “But please, back off.”
“Okay, I promise I will,” she said with a shy smile. “Sorry, again. He’s just really hard to resist.”
“I know,” I said as I turned my attention back to Bonnie and Clyde’s leisurely paced dinner and groaned.
“What’s wrong?” The fairy-girl asked.
“Okay, forget this,” I said. “They’re going to order every damn thing on the menu, and we’re going to be sitting here for hours if we don’t do something. We need to come up with a better plan.”
“Yeah, but what?” the levitation-specialist asked.
“We just need to figure out how to subdue and separate them without causing a massive fight,” I suggested, although I knew that was easier said than done.
Penumbra pulled out her tablet from her utility belt and began to scroll through the data we had on the robber duo so far. The blonde was able to snap back into focus pretty quickly, so I at least had to give her a little credit for that.
“Hey, look at this,” she said.
I leaned over her shoulder to get a better look at what she had up on the tablet screen. She had opened up a series of images of various women where all of them had long, raven-black hair and light eyes in shades of green, blue, and gray.
I didn’t like where this was going.
“These are all the women Clyde was with before he found Bonnie,” the blonde super explained. “Notice anything?”
“He has a type,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Bingo,” Penumbra said with a grin. “And you fit the bill perfectly.”
“Nope,” I said. “Forget it. No way.”
“But it’s such a good idea!” she insisted. “You’re way, way hotter than all the other girls he’s dated and Bonnie combined. He’ll be beside himself trying to get your attention, so we’ll be able to lure him away from Bonnie crazy fast.”
“That’s really not my style,” I protested. “I don’t seduce supervillains.”
“You aren’t seducing anyone,” Penumbra said. “Honestly, Dynamo, you don’t have to do anything with him except lure him away from Bonnie. Don’t think of it like you have to seduce him. Think of it more like you’re just acting as bait.”
“I don’t act as bait,” I growled.
“Look, his powers are super harmless when he’s by himself,” the blonde tried again. “Like, he can’t even push over a glass of water. If you separate them and weaken him, it’ll make it easier for us to catch both of them without a giant fight.”
“You make some good points,” I muttered. “I just really don’t want to do it.”
“Look, I wouldn’t be asking you to do this if I could do it myself, but, you know,” Penumbra sighed and flipped her blonde hair back over her shoulder.
I didn’t believe her bravado for a second based on how anxious she’d been going in first against the Golem, but I let it slide if only because it would help boost her confidence. Instead, I tried to come to terms with the plan since I knew it was actually a pretty good one. Otherwise, we’d have to wait hours for them to finish dinner, and even then, we wouldn’t have a good way to separate them and weaken Clyde. My brute strength worked well against a lot of different villains, but I hated fighting supers with telekinesis.
“Alright,” I sighed. “You win this one.”
“Great!” Penumbra clapped her hands. “Okay, so you’ll need an outfit to cover up your suit in. Like, don’t get me wrong, it’s super hot and all, but it’s really obvious who you are when you wear it. Do you have anything in the car?”
“I have a jacket,” I said, “so I guess that’ll have to do.”
We returned to the car to work out a minor disguise for me. I was still something of a celebrity, but I knew how to blend in when I needed to. Of course,
it helped that the restaurant had dim lighting to suit their romantic atmosphere, so I wouldn’t need to work too hard to disguise my facial features.
I put on my classic, retro-styled long jacket, cinched the belt to hug against my waist, and pulled on elbow-length black gloves. I had a pair of cat-eye glasses in the car that I decided to use to hide my face a little, but they weren’t tinted, so my turquoise eyes could still shine through, and I figured between my eyes, my thigh-high boots, and my figure, I’d be sure to get Clyde’s attention in a heartbeat.
“You’ll definitely turn heads,” Penumbra gushed. “You just need to make sure you walk past his table. Maybe head toward the bar?”
“We don’t want to go somewhere that Bonnie can see us,” I said.
“Yeah, but you need to look like you’re going somewhere natural,” she responded. “Let me pull up the blueprints of the restaurant. I think there’s two bars, one on each side.”
“Let’s hope you’re right,” I said.
“Looks like I am this time!” the blonde answered a second later. “Okay, so there’s a bar right next to their table, but then there’s another one all the way on the other side of the restaurant. Bonnie shouldn’t be able to see you there, and when you get his attention, you can lead him around back where I’ll be waiting to ambush him. I’ll levitate something up in the air so I can increase its mass, and then I’ll bash him over the head with it.”
“Alright,” I exhaled.
I guessed it was as solid a plan as any, and I appreciated that Penumbra had come up with the idea. When she wasn’t so nervous about messing up everything and when she wasn’t just babbling on about Miles, the blonde could make herself pretty useful. Not that I’d want her to join our team permanently or anything, but I could tolerate working with her for a little while longer.
The plan was simple, and if everything went well, then we could capture both of our targets without causing a massive fight or any collateral damage. As soon as I was ready, Penumbra gave me a thumbs up and then dashed off toward the back alley behind the restaurant to wait by the door.
I adjusted the collar of my jacket, rolled my shoulders back, and then strode confidently toward the side entrance of the restaurant. The plan was to enter through the outdoor seating area rather than the front door, so I could pass by Bonnie and Clyde’s table by the window. Luckily for us, he was seated in the seat that faced the door, so it wouldn’t be all that hard to draw his attention, especially not with the way my heels clacked against the marble-tiled floor.
I definitely turned heads as I walked past the outdoor tables, and I saw more than one woman angrily yell at her boyfriend for staring too long at me. I took slow, confident steps and kept my eyes firmly ahead, so I only glimpsed the reactions through my peripheral vision, but they were definitely there.
I pushed open the door in a slow and sensuous movement before I entered the restaurant. So I could draw as much attention to myself as possible, I paused to look around so it seemed like I was supposed to meet someone. I scanned the entire restaurant, let my eyes lock with Clyde’s over Bonnie’s coiffed head, gave him a coy smile, and then continued on my way to the bar in the back. My steps were slow, so it was obvious where I was heading, and I gave him ample time to follow me.
There were several open seats at the bar, so I slid into one and waited. I waved off the bartender since I wasn’t here to actually drink anything, and besides, I couldn’t bring myself to drink anything these days except for the whiskey that Miles kept stocked in his alcohol cabinet. Much like the man himself, his taste in alcohol was pricey and one-of-a-kind.
I didn’t have to wait long before my prey took the bait.
“Is this seat taken?” a voice behind me purred.
I glanced up like I was surprised that someone wanted to sit beside me, and I had to resist the urge to slam my fist right through Clyde’s fake-tanned face, but since I wanted to get him away from potential bystanders before I struck, I just smiled sweetly and shook my head.
“Thanks for the seat, babe,” Clyde said as he sat down beside me.
“Well, it’s all yours,” I replied with a sultry voice that pained me to use.
“So, what’s a smokin’ hot babe like you doing here all alone?” he asked and leaned his elbow against the bar.
He had made sure to sit as close to me as possible, and I gritted my teeth so that I wouldn’t flinch away from him and give myself away. Instead, I leaned in toward him so he could see my exposed cleavage through the open buttons on my coat.
“Well, I was waiting on someone, but they canceled,” I sighed, and I made sure my expression seemed sad if he ever bothered to look up from my chest.
“Damn, canceled?” Clyde swore. “You mean to tell me that somebody canceled on your hot ass? Damn, sounds like you deserve someone better.”
“Maybe,” I said with another sad sigh that sounded absurdly fake to me. “I got all dressed up and came all the way out here, but I guess it was all for nothing.”
“Not for nothing,” Clyde said as he leaned even closer to me.
“What do you mean?” I asked as I pretended not to study the poorly done dye job of his blonde hair and receding hairline.
“Well, you got to meet me,” the supervillain said with a grin. “I’m Clyde, by the way. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” I giggled and hoped that it sounded more like Penumbra and less like I was being held at gunpoint. “And what’s a man like you doing here all alone, Clyde?”
“Just here for a drink,” he replied. “The whiskey they serve is phenomenal. You should give it a try.”
“Maybe later,” I said but gave him another flirty smile. “I’m a bit of a lightweight.”
“All the better to drink with.” Clyde had dropped his voice low again, but instead of sounding sexy, it only made him sound sleazy.
I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep this act up. The closer he leaned in to me, the more I realized how badly his breath stank. Hadn’t they given him a toothbrush to use while he was in prison?
“I prefer to drink in the comfort of my own home, honestly,” I said as I forced myself to put my hand on his knee.
“Is that so?” he whispered.
“Mhm,” I murmured. “My apartment is only a few blocks away, so…”
I trailed off so he could draw his own conclusions and make a suggestion to go to my apartment himself, but he didn’t seem to understand what I was trying to imply. He stared at me blankly, like he expected me to continue.
“So we can go there,” I said with a scowl before I remembered to put a smile back on my face.
“Well, why didn’t you say that earlier?” Clyde laughed, just a bit too loud.
I rose to my feet, but it was mostly so I could look around and make sure that Bonnie hadn’t overheard her partner’s laugh, but I couldn’t see her from where I was. But since I had already gotten to my feet, I had no choice but to take Clyde by the hand, and I immediately discovered that his palms were soaked with sweat.
It took all of my remaining self-control not to immediately let go of his sweat-slicked hand, but I held on and pulled him toward the back alley exit of the restaurant. He followed along without any resistance at all, so I was at least confident that he didn’t suspect anything.
“Lead the way, darling,” he crooned directly into my ear, and I shivered with disgust.
Clyde snaked his arm around my waist as we continued to move toward the back exit, and I was surprised that he still didn’t suspect anything. After all, I didn’t imagine that he was often this lucky with women, especially not with women like me, but I imagined that he probably just thought the back exit was a good way to escape Bonnie’s attention.
Before we could reach the door, a wordless, shrill screech of absolute rage echoed throughout the restaurant, and all eyes in the restaurant turned toward us. A black-haired woman stomped across the restaurant with her hands balled into fists at her side
s and a look of immense, makeup-ruining fury on her face.
It looked like Bonnie had figured out where her boyfriend had run off to.
I immediately jumped into action and grabbed Clyde in a headlock before he could react. He let out a strangled cry for help, but I tightened my hold around his throat to cut it off.
“Penumbra!” I called into my earpiece, but the back door burst open to reveal the levitating superheroine before I could say anything else.
“On it!” she announced, and shot forward like a bullet through the air to grab Bonnie.
I kept my headlock on Clyde as I tried to imagine what would happen if Bonnie got any closer, and it wasn’t difficult. Even now, the cutlery on the tables began to rattle with a pulse of psychic energy, and it made everything around me seem like it was moving in slow-motion. If Bonnie got much closer, the steak knives might start to levitate, hover in front of the restaurant patrons’ faces, and then stab right through the eye sockets of every single civilian who had chosen to dine here tonight.
I couldn’t let that happen.
The silverware continued to rattle with suppressed energy as Penumbra tackled Bonnie around the middle with enough force to knock the wind out of the black-haired supervillain. But we had no idea exactly how far the amplification range worked between Bonnie and Clyde, and I knew Penumbra might not be able to get her far enough away in time to prevent hundreds of deaths.
We had a deal with the Shadow Knight not to kill anyone, including his supervillains, but I kept imagining all the patrons in the crowded restaurant stabbed cleanly through the eye all the way into their brains, and I knew what had to be done.
I would not let myself be held back from protecting everyone in this restaurant. The Shadow Knight’s nonsensical code had no sway over me, and I had no intention on following it.
“They’re all going to die here, and you’ll be next, sweetie,” Clyde taunted with a smug grin. “I can kill every single person in here without breaking a sweat, and I can feel my power already growing stronger.”