by W. A Castle
“Would you mind if I checked her?” Vincent crouched next to me with his duffle bag next to him.
“Yes, please doc.” I moved away so he could be closer to Maddison.
“I’m Dr. Vincent Shoemaker, Maddie. Would it be okay if I checked you out? Make sure everything is okay?”
My head felt heavy and groggy. But oddly enough, my body felt light. I looked down on my body to make sure I still had a body. I frowned down at myself, I vaguely remember a hot pain, but now as I moved my limbs, I felt nothing.
“Maddie?”
I looked up at Dr. Vincent. “Sure, go ahead.” I whispered. Something felt odd. I gently prodded my head and shook it.
“Is your head bothering you?” Dr. Vincent asked, a frown forming on his sharp features.
My head felt weird, but it didn’t hurt. I didn’t know what was going on so I just closed my eyes and kept quiet. Everyone was looking at me and it made me uncomfortable.
“We will give you some room, doc.” I heard Clara say from somewhere in the room.
“I’m staying. I want to know what is going on. Why didn’t she turn? She was bitten, we all saw!” I heard none other than Val exclaim. I shut my eyes tighter. She was being too loud, and it caused the roaring in my ears to worsen.
“We’ll give them some room, hun. They will tell us what they find. Come.” Aaron spoke softly to his wife. I heard feet shuffling and air moving. When the air stilled again, I opened my eyes.
Only the doctor and momma were left in the room with me.
“How do you feel?” Dr. Vincent asked as took my temperature, moving a small metal device across my forehead to my temple.
“I… I feel…fine. A little disoriented, but fine.” That was as close to the truth as I could get. My body didn’t hurt, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that something was off.
“What happened?” I looked to momma. I was more than shocked that I was alive. I remember being in a haze, thinking I was never going to be able to get out of it and wake up again, and then, nothing, until I woke up to Trevor pinning my arms to my sides.
Momma grabbed my hands and squeezed tightly. She explained everything that had happened from when I fainted to when Adrie came back as a flesh eater to when my heart stopped (at that, I gasped and clutched my chest to make sure my ticker was still beating) to when Dr. Vincent showed up with Ulises and Gary, to when momma was seconds away from blowing my brains out.
The doctor and I listened intently. I had been so close to becoming one of them. I wrapped my arms around myself and curled into the couch.
“Everything seems to be normal.” Dr. Vincent says after he’s taken my vitals and asked more questions about how I was feeling. All to which I just responded ‘fine’ every time.
“Can I check your wounds?” He asked softly. My eyes widen and then I nodded. I gave him my bandaged hand first.
My heart was beating fast as he undid the bandaging and revealed my gnarled finger. I took in a deep breath when my finger was revealed and it was relatively a normal color now, infection free. The bone that had been protruding from the rest of the flesh was now neatly tucked under a canvas of meat and flesh. Half my finger was still missing, but it looked completely healed.
Dr. Vincent gently prodded at the stump that was my finger. He looked at me, accessing my reaction.
“It doesn’t hurt, it isn’t even tender.” I said shocked. I looked up at momma and asked, “How much time passed since I passed out?”
Momma shook herself and tore her gaze from my stump, “Just last night, a few hours.” Momma whispered.
Dr. Vincent swallowed loudly and pushed his glasses up on his nose. He cleared his throat and continued assessing my other wounds.
I couldn’t believe it when he said all the bites were healed, the only thing that was left of the gashes were small scars that puckered from my skin. I rubbed my neck, how the hell was this possible?
“Where is Adrie, momma? Is she healed too, how is she?” I breathed heavily and grinned at momma. We had made it, God knows how but we beat this.
“Thank you Dr. Vincent.” I smiled up at him as he put his tools away. I felt so much lighter. Like when you wake up from a horrible nightmare and after a while you realize none of it was real.
“Call me Vince.” Dr. Vincent smiled back at me and momma and left us to talk. When Dr. Vincent… Vince, closed the door behind him momma scooted closer to me and wrapped an arm around me.
“I thought I lost you for a minute there kiddo.” Momma nuzzled my hair.
“I thought I was a goner too. I still don’t understand why I didn’t turn. Adrie and Lexi must be ecstatic.” I beamed. As much as those chicks annoyed me, I knew they were super close and I was happy they hadn’t lost each other.
I pushed away the feeling of uncertainty and dread and focused instead on the fact that I was still here, even if I couldn’t explain why I was still here.
“Honey, Adrie turned.” Momma avoided my eyes.
“What?” I asked, tearing myself from momma’s embrace. “What are you saying?” I blanched. Adrie turned?
“Why? What? Where is she?” I could feel tears burning in my eyes. “Where is she!” I screamed.
“She transitioned, she’s dead.” Momma held on to me as I lost my hold on my emotions. I sobbed against her chest. We got bit. We went through the unimaginable separately in our own minds, but together. When I woke up, I thought she had made it through too. Why didn’t she? Why am I here while she is gone? I pulled away from momma and dried my tears.
“Where is Diego?” I asked after clearing my throat.
“Clara and the group have been helping keep an eye on him. You- You want to see him?”
I sorted through my thoughts. It was weird, my thoughts were clear and organized, and every time I thought of something I instantly saw the result from that action. It was like a playlist I could see in my mind. The fuck?
“I want to see him.” I told momma and made to stand up. Momma rushed to her feet and held her arms out to me.
“Woah, honey, sit back down. You’ve been through a lot. You need to rest.” Momma’s forehead creased in worry. But I just smiled at her, “I feel completely fine momma. I guess the virus burned itself out with the fever. I feel… great.” And I truly did feel great. Which caused me to pause because, surely after going through what I had gone through, and what momma said I had gone through… I should feel, I don’t know, not great? But my body felt light and it hummed energy. Not even my stumpy finger bothered me that much.
I walked out to where the rest of the group was. As I neared the group Eli jumped at me and threw his arms around me. He was happy to see me. Feeling his excitement at seeing me I grinned and hugged him back.
“Maddie.” Trevor whispered and took a step towards me. My grin grew and I threw my arms over his shoulders, going up on my tip toes.
“Thought you’d get rid of me so easy?” I jibed. He squeezed me in his arms and then set me down.
He ran his fingers through my hair and pressed his forehead against mine, “I thought I had lost you Maddie.” Trevor’s voice broke with emotion. Feeling his sadness and happiness intertwined made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Hold up. Rewind. I could feel his emotions? What… what the hell is happening to me? I absentmindedly rubbed my temples.
“You okay?” Vince asked me, a weird look in his eyes.
“Uh, yeah, I guess I just spaced out for a second there.” I laughed with a sigh and looked at everyone nervously.
“You sure you’re all there?” Val poked her temples in a gesture that really asked: Have you gone crazy?
“There are no signs of the virus, from what I could tell. It would be good if we could find a lab and run some tests…” Vince said absentmindedly as he munched on a granola bar.
A lab? The mere thought sent a chill down my spine. I don’t know why but I knew the last thing I wanted was for doctors to be nosing around in my DNA.
“How did you
do it? How is it possible that you got better?” Lexi’s eyes glaring, her stare pinned me to the ground and I knew that she would rather I be dead and not Adrie. The rush of her emotions had me taking a step back and then another.
“I- I don’t know.” I stuttered. I looked around for Diego deciding to ignore her accusatory stare.
“Where’s Diego?” I asked a bit frantic. I really wanted to see him. No, I needed to see him.
“Someone’s missed his momma.” Clara smiled big as she approached me. Diego sat on her arms, his little back pressed against her chest, his front facing me. I smiled widely. My eyes swept over him and accessed him. His eyes were bright and clear and curious, his coloring was a healthy tan, his cheeks rosy pink, I could smell that he’d recently drank some formula. He was good.
I extended my arms towards him and I gently scooped him up and I pressed my cheek against his little head.
“I’m really glad you’re here and feeling better.” Clara briefly hugged me and as she walked back, she gently squeezed my shoulder. I smiled at her in gratuity.
When I looked up everyone was staring at me, when I moved, their eyes followed me. I could see that they were uncomfortable with me holding Diego. I could see that they were uncomfortable with my presence period. Maybe they were expecting for me to suddenly become a flesh eater.
That afternoon a grave was dug for Adrie under a pink flowering tree in the front of the library’s property. The men stood watch as Lexi and I dug Adrie’s grave. She didn’t want my help but I felt that Adrie and I had shared something and I felt like I had to do at least this for her. After I told Lexi this much she relented and together we dug Adrie’s final resting place.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered when we were finished digging. I clutched unto the pole of the shovel and stared down into the freshly dug hole.
“I loved her you know?” Lexi replied after a few awkward seconds, “I loved her and I never told her.”
I turned to Lexi, “If you loved her, she knew.” I didn’t know what else to say so after that so after a few silent moments we went back to the others.
It was a surreal experience to bury Adrie under the pink tree, in the summer heat, in the library property.
Everyone gathered around when it was time to put Adrie to rest. No one said anything, the only sound to break the silence were Lexi’s sobs. Every one helped when it came time to fill in the hole. In that moment we were all united. We were all in this shit storm together; the gloom of the grave solidified our solidarity.
Chapter Six: Terror of Flight
We decided to stay one more night at the library before hitting the road in the morning. First task was to procure another car. Second task was to essentially loot the small town for basic gear and more weapons. Ulises had a good stock of guns and ammo but ammo ran out fast. First rule of apocalypse survival: You can never have too many bullets.
“I want to go with you guys.” I insisted for the twentieth time since the guys announced they were going to go out to scavenge before nightfall. The hordes were still a nagging problem but with some stealth, they were avoidable.
Trevor sighed with exasperation as he strapped on his football gear, “You just woke up Maddie. You went through a hell of a trauma. You need to rest.”
We were in the same room where Adrie had been killed and where I had almost been shot dead.
I moved in front of him and made him look at me, “I am fine, Trevor. I feel fine.” I reiterated. I put my hands on his shoulders and leaned in, “I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel better than fine actually.”
He sighed and bent his head, lowering it closer to mine; I could feel his warm breath on my nose. “I lost you Maddie. Your heart stopped. I lost you,” he whispered, his voice thick, I could hear when he swallowed down his emotions, “I don’t want to risk you again.”
His words irked me. I wasn’t his property for him to decide what I could and couldn’t do. But as much as it irked me, I also loved that he was protective of me. He saved my life. He brought me back from death. No one had ever looked at me this way he did… of course now he looked at me with worry in his eyes, which I hated as much as I loved it.
I inhaled and exhaled shakily. “Thank you for saving my life… on more than one occasion.” I bit my bottom lip. His hazel eyes glimmered under the fluorescent lights and his lips parted, his breathing got heavy as the seconds ticked by. I felt the energy of our bodies buzz around us. It was almost tangible. I looked into his eyes and my heart started to race, I had an insatiable urge to kiss the man that had wrenched me from Death’s grip. My eyes hooded and I tilted my head until my lips brushed his.
I felt Trevor stiffen momentarily before melting against me, he set his gun down on the table and snaked his arms around me. My hand caressed his cheek as he kissed me tenderly and softly, as if he was afraid I would break. His lips were soft and moist as they moved over my lips. I inhaled deeply, taking in his scent, sweat, fear, exhaustion, lust and everything that made him, him.
Before the kiss could deepen we were interrupted by the clearing of a throat. I could have groaned in annoyance but instead I slowly stepped away from Trevor’s embrace and turned to see a smug looking Ulises.
“What is it?” Trevor grumbled as he picked up his weapon and slid it into his hip holster.
“We’re ready to go. Are you two lovebirds done?” Ulises’s smirk widened and he turned to the door and walked out. I scoffed and turned back to Trevor.
“I’m going too. Give me a gun.” I turned my hand palm face up.
“You’re staying.” Trevor leaned down and gave me a quick hot kiss on the lips and walked out the door.
I crossed my arms across my chest and glared after him. I felt pent up and on the verge of scratching my skin off. I was going.
I was making my way to the door when from the corner of my eye I caught my reflection. I stopped in my tracks and faced the small mirror hanging from the wall. I leaned in and gently prodded the skin around my eyes. The skin was slightly reddened which sent a bucket of ice water down my back. By the grace of some higher power I had been spared from turning into a flesh eater. I was driving myself half-crazy trying to find a reason or an explanation as to why I didn’t turn.
Oh god, oh god, oh god I touched an area on my scalp where big chunks of my hair were missing. I could recall the overwhelming pain I felt as my hair was ripped out from my scalp when the flesh eaters were pulling me out of the car, just remembering brought the stinging sensation to the bald spots again. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to mess it up enough that some of the bald spots were somewhat camouflaged.
When I reached the front of the library where everyone was gathered, the energy immediately shifted. My stomach dropped when I felt everyone’s wariness at being in my presence. Even though the A/C in the building was currently off and it was getting uncomfortably muggy inside the building, I went cold.
It was never going to be like before was it? It could never be the same.
I shook myself off and straightened up, “I’m going with you guys.”
“What? No, Maddie. You just woke up not a few hours ago. What are you thinking?” Momma’s angered voice made me cringe.
No one understood (or believed me) when I told them I was FINE. Yes, I almost died, but I didn’t. I wanted to forget it ever happened and just move on but everyone was adamant to keep reminding me of my almost demise.
“This place is suffocating me. I need to do something.” I said trying not to express just how desperate I was to leave this building.
Which, was not like me, at all. I never wanted to go out.
“You can tag along with me.” Vince spoke up, readjusting his empty duffle bag on his shoulder. I turned to him wide eyed, surprised.
“Absolutely not-” Momma started to say but I cut her off.
“Yes, thank you.” I sighed with relief and made sure I had my knife tucked in the waistband of my pants.
“Well, fuck. If you’re s
et on going, take this.” Ulises reached into one of his holsters and handed me a pistol. I reached for it unsure. I had never held a gun before, definitely never shot one.
“Thanks.” I grabbed it carefully as if it might explode any minute in my hands. I didn’t know where to put it so I just held on to it awkwardly.
Maybe this wasn’t a great idea.
“Maddie, please.” Momma grabbed my shoulders and tried to lock her eyes with mine. I don’t know why I suddenly had the courage to want to go outside but I was going to roll with it. Yes, my palms were sweaty and my heart was beating hard in my chest. But I had this need to go outside and move my body. It was… exhilarating. All my life, I have curled up inside four walls and hid from life. And, ever since I woke up… I have felt, alive. My head felt uncharacteristically clear. The changes may be subtle but I knew I wasn’t the same Maddie I was yesterday.
I gently shook momma off, “I’ll be back soon, momma.” I said softly as I turned away from her. I couldn’t see it, but I felt momma’s hurt.
Once outside we separated in groups of two. We were going to try to get as many supplies as we could carry and meet back here in two hours, the idea was to get back before the sun went down. Gary and Trevor went off to the right, Aaron and Ulises went off in the direction Trevor, Adrie, Lexi and I had come from last night, and Vince and I started to look through the empty cars in the lot and eventually made our way across the street to look in the houses.
It felt wrong, like we were trespassing. I kept looking around waiting to see a cop or someone to come out and yell at us asking what we were doing. But there was no one in sight and no cops to catch our breaking and entering.
“It’s unnerving as fuck, ain’t it?” Vince mused as we looked inside the windows of one of the houses.
“It feels unreal.” I agreed.
The door was unlocked when I turned on the knob. I raised an eyebrow and looked at Vince. He shrugged and I proceeded to open the door.