Hero shrugged. ‘It’s all right. It’s a valid point.’
He met her eyes, trying to find the woman from last night. Hero broke the connection, looking away before he had the chance to search any longer. Nick let out a breath, long and slow.
‘Have you said goodbye to Joe? He’ll be pretty upset if you leave without seeing him.’
‘I wouldn’t do that,’ she replied. ‘I saw him a little earlier.’
‘Was he all right?’
Her forehead creased. ‘He was … a bit sad, I think.’
‘I’ll go and find him in a while. Check he’s OK.’
‘Thank you.’
Nick threw her a glance. ‘I’m not doing it for you.’
Hero swallowed and nodded. ‘No … I realise that. I just meant …’ Her fingers worried the strap of her bag.
‘Joe and his family have taken to you. For some reason.’ Nick’s voice had an edge to it this morning. The words that had been so soft to her last night were now sharp and cut her deep inside. She wouldn’t tell him that though. She never told anyone. He was angry with her and Hero understood that. What had happened last night was unexpected. At the time it had felt so, so right but as she’d lain in her bed this morning, watching the pink smudges in the sky burn away to the deepest blue, Hero knew. Knew what she had to do. Once she had put the distance back between them, everything would go back to normal. It was for the best. For her, but also for Nick. He deserved more than she could ever give him. More than she would ever allow herself to give him. Last night, it had all happened so easily, so naturally. Sharing in the joy so evident in her sister’s face, and that of her new family, she’d forgotten herself. Forgotten to pull up the drawbridge that protected her. She’d wanted to be part of that joy, and for a while she was. She’d got caught up in the wonder of the day and the feeling of security, and desire, as Nick had held her. As they’d sat in the deepening twilight, their voices low, his body strong and warm. It would have been so easy to follow her heart, knowing where it would lead her. Tiredness had stopped her last night. Reality had stopped her this morning. This family, this life, was Juliet’s now. She had no claim on it. The sooner she got back to her own life, the better. There she knew where she was, what was expected of her, and what she expected of others.
‘Yes. I … hope he’s OK.’
Nick watched Hero as she brushed her hand across the front of her dress, the action unnecessary. She looked, as always, perfect. Long, tanned legs ended in high wedge sandals. A dress that would look demure on others did nothing to lessen the attraction and Nick’s body threatened to betray him. He steeled himself, concentrating on her as she was now. Hard, cold, and self-centred. She wasn’t the soft, broken bird starved of affection now. Nick shook his head. How did he fall for that? She didn’t need love. She craved attention. Why else would she carry on taking job after job when it was clear she already had more money than she could spend? Because she loved it. Hero Scott might have not had all the attention or love a child should, but she had the adoration of the world now. Nick ran a hand through his hair. How could he have been so stupid? Beautiful women were nothing but trouble.
‘He’ll be all right. Plenty of things come and go in life. It’s the ones that stay that matter.’ Nick finished the last of his coffee and put the cup in the top rack of the dishwasher. ‘You should be careful with Joe. He gives his affection freely. I don’t want him getting upset if you’re only going to show up for flying visits and then disappear a day later.’
‘I wouldn’t hurt him for the world.’
Nick heard it. That slight wobble in her voice. She meant it. He’d already known that, but his point stood. Joe had quickly adopted Hero as a sister, and Nick had to admit that his surrogate brother, with his naturally sunny disposition, seemed even happier when she was here. He still struggled with his reading, but Hero was already helping with that, happily sitting near him on the porch after the day’s work was done, reading together. Not to mention the pile she’d come back with for him following a trip into town with Jules one day. She’d looked happy. Relaxed. Open. The opposite of how she looked now.
‘I know you wouldn’t.’
From upstairs they heard a shower turn on followed by laughter. A small smile passed between them.
‘I think I’m going to wait out on the porch.’
As she stepped towards the hallway, Nick moved. She met his gaze and her breath caught. He was looking at her so intensely it felt like he could see straight into her soul, see her true thoughts.
‘Hero?’
‘I have to go.’ She started walking away. Nick reached out, catching her by the wrist. His head told him to stay away but his damn heart refused to listen.
‘What—’
‘Tell me why you’re leaving. The real reason.’
‘I just …’ Her eyes searched his face and she could see her own confusion reflected in him. She couldn’t finish the sentence; she wasn’t even sure what she had been planning to say.
‘There’s no job, is there?’
Hero met his gaze and looking into those intense brown eyes, she couldn’t lie. The faintest shake of her head gave him her answer.
‘Is this about yesterday?’ Nick reached out and took her other arm, his hands now gentle. ‘If it is, then you don’t need to worry. I’m not going to say anything, and I don’t expect anything from you. I just want you to be yourself, relax, have some fun. You always seem so tense all the time, not to mention tired. Maybe taking a break would be a good thing?’ He stepped closer. ‘It’s like you’re afraid of everyone.’ Lifting his hand, he gently cupped her face, just as he’d done last night, his touch gentle and warm. ‘Nobody’s going to hurt you here. I promise. I won’t let them.’
Hero closed her eyes against his touch. It would be so easy to stay here, to have Nick touch her like he was touching her now. To rest against his strong, solid body as she had done last night. To be with somebody who cared. Hero opened her eyes, Nick could tell she was wavering. His heart picked up. And then he saw it. That woman was gone, the armour back in place.
‘I have to go.’ Hero stepped back, her voice more definite now. She took another step away from Nick, trying to put physical space between them before she got sucked back in again. Before she let herself fall again. ‘I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Juliet that there isn’t a job. It would only upset her.’ She gave a quick nod and pushed past him, walking out onto the porch, grateful for the breeze that cooled her face and body.
‘So, what am I supposed to tell her?’ The door bounced on its hinges as Nick burst through it a moment later. His face was set, his eyes dark with frustration and anger.
Hero forced herself to look at him, fighting with herself to maintain her calm expression, as inside her heart pounded so hard, she was sure he must see it.
Tell her that you got too close. Tell her that I have to protect myself. That I have to keep you at arm’s length for a reason because what I really want is for you to touch me like you did just now. Tell her that I just can’t take that risk. My parents didn’t want me. I can’t take the risk that anyone – especially you – might feel that way too once the novelty wears off.
When Hero didn’t answer his question, Nick filled in the blanks himself.
‘You want me to lie.’ He drew himself up to his full height, frustration tensing every muscle in his body.
Hero tilted her head back to meet his eyes. ‘You don’t have to put it quite like that, Nick. It’s for her own benefit.’
Nick rolled his eyes. ‘Is that right? From where I’m standing it seems like it’s for your benefit. Like everything else in your life.’
Nick knew he was being unfair. But he was angry and hurting. And feeling guilty. If he hadn’t encouraged her to open up to him last night, she might not be leaving now. They might all have had more time to show her there was no one to endanger her heart out here. That she was, and always would be, safe.
‘I’m sorry that you h
ave that opinion of me.’
And she really was. Hero made to turn and walk further down the porch.
Nick blocked her way. His voice was louder now, and he was thankful the running water from the shower obscured the noise of their arguing from Pete and Juliet.
‘No, you’re not. You don’t care what I think.’
‘That’s not fair. You know that isn’t true!’ Hero returned.
‘No, I don’t,’ Nick snapped back as the sound of footsteps hurrying towards them got louder. ‘But it doesn’t matter now anyway. Last night I thought that whole ice maiden thing you do was just an act, and that underneath all that there was a decent person, someone worth getting to know.’ He paused, and Hero slid her eyes up to meet his. In place of the usual warmth and laughter they held was a cold steel. Beneath the unshaved stubble, a muscle flickered in his jaw. ‘It’s pretty obvious now that I was wrong.’
He finished just as Joe sped onto the porch, nearly colliding with both of them. ‘Why are you yelling at her?’ He rounded on Nick. ‘Don’t yell at her!’ Joe’s innocent eyes were wide as he looked from one to the other.
Nick’s shoulders sagged. He gave one last glance at Hero, shaking his head. ‘I’m finished yelling at her.’
He brushed past Joe and walked off out into the yard. Shortly afterwards, they heard a motorbike engine start, rev twice, and quickly become distant.
Joe reached out and held Hero’s hand, the childlike gesture ripping away the armour.
‘What were you fighting about?’
Hero shook her head and sat down on the wicker sofa. ‘Nothing. Just something silly.’ She hated lying to Joe. She hated lying to herself, but right now, it was all she could do. Last night she had come closer than she had ever been to opening up to someone. She’d let Nick see the real her, the damaged soul that resided within the pretty decoration. Why, or how, it had happened, how she’d found herself in Nick Webster’s arms and telling him the secret she had never spoken of to anyone, she could hardly say. All she knew was that it had. And the part that frightened her the most was that she knew she wanted it to happen again. Over and over. But it wouldn’t. It couldn’t.
Hero had vowed she would never give anyone the power to hurt her ever again. There had been no choice with her parents, but she made her own rules now and she’d done just fine – at least until last night, but she would collect herself again. All she needed to do was get away from here. Back into her own world. The world she understood. The world that had never touched her heart as much as this one.
‘I wish you weren’t leaving.’ Joe’s big blue eyes were sad as he looked at her. ‘I like it when you’re here.’
Hero turned in her seat, reaching around to hug him.
‘I like it when I’m here too,’ she whispered.
Joe wrapped his arms around her tightly, almost as if he thought that by doing that he could keep her there forever.
***
Nick parked the bike and made his way into the kitchen.
‘Lunch is nearly ready. Wash your hands, please.’
Nick obeyed Juliet’s instructions, glancing down at the place settings laid out on the kitchen table. His stomach flipped. There was one extra. She hadn’t left after all.
‘Four?’
‘Yes. Joe’s eating with us tonight.’ Juliet pulled a casserole dish from the oven and placed it on a pan stand. ‘He was down about Hero leaving earlier, and Jacob’s in town anyway.’
‘Right.’ It was all Nick could manage as disappointment and guilt took turns at him. Raking a hand through his hair, he turned back to the door. ‘I’ll go and see where he is.’ Walking out of the kitchen, he crossed the porch and leant on the porch, watching as Joe ambled across the yard, his gaze cast downwards. Beyond him the fields stretched out beneath the vast sky, its blue streaked with the faintest brushstrokes of white as wispy clouds broke up the expanse.
‘All right, mate?’
Joe nodded.
‘I need to ask you a favour.’
Joe looked up at him, sadness evident in his expression. ‘OK.’
‘Don’t mention to Juliet that Hero and I were arguing this morning. OK? It was nothing and Jules is already sad that she’s gone. She’ll only get more upset if she knows we argued too.’
Joe nodded again. ‘I won’t. Hero asked me the same thing just before she left anyway, and I already promised her that I wouldn’t.’
‘OK.’
‘Nick?’
‘Yep?’
‘Did she leave because you argued?’
Nick slipped his arm around Joe’s shoulder. ‘No, mate.’ The fact was he was pretty sure it was quite the opposite. ‘She was leaving anyway.’
They had just sat down to eat when they heard a car pull up. Moments later Pete entered the kitchen.
‘Everything all right?’ his wife asked as she got up, kissed his cheek and then set about dishing him out a plateful of food.
‘Yep. She only had half an hour to wait for the bus by the time we got there.’
‘Did she say when she was coming back?’ Joe asked, his expression hopeful.
‘No, mate. Sorry.’
Joe looked crestfallen. He returned his attention to the plate in front of him and half-heartedly took another mouthful.
Nick’s conscience gave him a sharp jab in the ribs. See what you’ve done, it taunted. This is all your fault.
Nick knew it was probably right too. He knew what Joe was going through. He loved Hero being there too, despite the act she put on. It had slipped a couple of times, caught up as everyone was in the excitement of the wedding. He noticed it happened the most when she thought she was alone, laughing as she played with the dog or resting her head gently against the neck of a horse as her hand stroked his nose in a rhythmic, calming movement.
All just brief glimpses of the real woman beneath the armour and the make-up. But last night, everything had changed. Last night he’d really seen her. The smile she’d given him when he’d first approached her had almost swept him away. It had proved to him what he had suspected all along. That there was so much more to this woman than just the pretty exterior, however much she tried to hide it.
Of course, he was attracted to her looks. Christ, he was a male and had a pulse. What else did you need when a woman who looked like that walked into your life? But their continual spikiness with each other had kept anything else, any deeper connection, firmly out of sight. Then last night, at a wedding in the middle of nowhere, Hero Scott had dropped her shield, the carapace fractured, and the true Hero showed herself to him, and him alone. And he was lost.
Seeing her so changed back, so well protected once more, had fired Nick’s frustration and screamed at him. It was that which had driven him to say the words he had today. And despite the cool eyes she kept on him throughout their exchange, he had seen her fists clench, seen the long, elegant nails she’d apparently grown specifically for her sister’s wedding jam into the softness of her palms. Hero had heard him. But it hadn’t done any good. After everything, she had still left.
***
‘So? How was it? I’ve had the condensed version, now I want the Director’s Cut,’ Anya announced, as Hero sank down next to her on the battered old leather sofa in their favourite coffee shop around the corner from their flat.
‘Good. Nice.’ Hero took a sip of the strong, bitter coffee and tried not to stare longingly as a large slice of chocolate cake was delivered to the next table.
‘Hero?’
‘Hmm?’ Hero pulled her attention back. ‘Sorry. I missed that.’
‘Probably because you were lusting over that woman’s cake. Do you want some?’
Yes!
‘No. No, of course not.’ She smiled but Anya didn’t return it.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Hey. This is me you’re talking to. You’ve been weird ever since you got back. I thought it was just jetlag, but you usually get over that pretty quick.’
Hero hadn’t mentioned anything about Nick Webster, well, no more than she needed to. If she left him out entirely and then Anya found out her new brother-in-law had a gorgeous younger brother, she’d get the full interrogation.
‘I’m all right, really.’
Anya tilted her head as Hero picked at the spinach and egg salad in front of her.
‘You look like you’re wishing that was chocolate cake too.’
Hero let out a sigh. ‘Honestly? I do.’
Anya’s pale brows raised in surprise. ‘I didn’t think you even liked cake. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat it.’
Hero stabbed a piece of boiled egg before replacing her fork on the plate and pushing the salad away. ‘I do like it. I just never eat it.’
‘So have a piece. One piece won’t hurt.’ Anya made to stand up, her eyes on the display of mouth-watering cakes on the counter.
Hero put a hand on her arm. ‘No. I can’t. But thanks anyway.’
‘Why not?’
‘Marlena said I’ve put on weight.’
Anya was about to laugh until she realised her friend was entirely serious. ‘Then she is wrong. You look beautiful, just as you always do. Marlena needs new glasses.’
Hero gave the ghost of a smile. ‘Actually, she’s right. I weighed myself a couple of days ago and I have gained a few pounds. I was so caught up in my sister’s wedding, I sort of forgot myself.’
‘Well, I don’t see it. And it can only have done you good.’
Hero pulled a face. Her booker could spot an extra pound at a hundred paces, and had no qualms about letting the model in question know, as well as anyone else within hearing distance. With eyes like a hawk and a voice like a foghorn, it was hard to keep anything on the downlow. Even someone at the top of their game like Hero couldn’t afford knowledge like that, or even a rumour, to spread too far. Hero had assured her agency she would lose the few extra pounds quickly and had immediately doubled the length of her morning runs and added an extra half-hour to her gym routine. According to her scales, she was already almost back to the weight she’d maintained for the past several years. But Marlena’s sharp words, as she’d scrutinised Hero the first day she’d gone into her office following the model’s recent trip to Australia, still resonated in her mind.
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