“Anything you make is bound to be good.”
Her cheeks reddened, and she looked away.
“Sorry if I embarrassed you. I was just remembering how you used to make ginger cookies for me when we were going out together, and they were always so good.”
Loraine moved over to the stove and put the bread pans in.
“Do you remember how much fun we used to have when we were together?”
She gave a slow nod and closed the oven door.
Jake grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it with water, and took a drink. As he let the cool liquid trickle down his throat, he contemplated what to say next. “Uh ... I was wondering, would you like to have supper with me on Friday evening?” There, it was finally out.
Loraine’s eyes widened as she turned to face him. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
“Jah, I am. I thought we could go to Tiffany’s in Topeka. We used to like going there to eat, remember?”
“I do remember, but—” She slowly shook her head. “I couldn’t go out with you, Jake. It wouldn’t be fair to Wayne.”
“You’ve been working real hard here these last few weeks, and I think you should go.”
Jake whirled around. He hadn’t realized Wayne had come into the house, much less had entered the kitchen. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I mean, if—”
“Don’t mind at all.”
A look of shock registered on Loraine’s face. “But, Wayne, we’re—”
“Just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be, Loraine.” Wayne’s words were crisp and to the point. Apparently, he’d meant what he’d said to Jake about dating Loraine. Could it be that Wayne had been telling the truth when he’d said that he really didn’t love her anymore? Jake wondered. Or was he only giving Loraine over to Jake because he no longer felt like a man?
“We’re more than friends, Wayne.” Doubt tinged Loraine’s voice, and there was no sparkle in her eyes. She’d been clearly hurt by Wayne’s remark.
“We used to be more than friends, but not anymore.” Wayne moved over to the refrigerator and took out a gallon of apple cider. Then he grabbed two paper cups from the pantry and turned them upside-down over the lid on the cider. “My daed sent me in to get us something cold to drink, so I’d better get back out to his shop with this.” Without so much as a backwards glance, he shuffled from the room.
Loraine looked at Jake like she couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. Then, with a smile that held no sparkle at all, she said in a voice barely above a whisper, “I’d be happy to go out to supper with you on Friday night.”
Jake stood there, too stunned to say a word. As much as he wanted to take Loraine out, he’d really expected her to say no. I guess I have Wayne to thank for her change of heart, but I hope she’s not going out with me just to spite him. I’d feel a lot better if I knew she really wanted to be with me.
“I’ll pick you up at your house at five o’clock,” he said. “Does that sound all right?”
She nodded slowly. “Five o’clock is fine for me.”
***
A raw ached settled in the pit of Wayne’s stomach as he headed to his dad’s shop. Even though he’d convinced himself that breaking up with Loraine was for her own good, he felt miserable. It was obvious from the look on Jake’s face whenever Loraine was near that he’d never stopped loving her, but he wasn’t sure how Loraine felt about Jake.
Wayne stopped walking and rolled his shoulders in order to loosen his stiff muscles and erase the tension he felt. Loraine had been happy with Jake once; she could be happy with him again.
He kicked at a fallen tree branch with the toe of his boot and groaned. I love her too much not to let her go. I just wish I didn’t have to see her and Jake together.
As Wayne started walking again, an idea popped into his head. After their accident in Paul’s van, Katie and Jolene had left home in order to find healing. Maybe he should go away, too.
CHAPTER 32
“You seem to be having a hard time keeping your mind on the job at hand,” Pop said, nudging Wayne’s arm. “Are you bored with working on animal skins?”
Wayne shook his head. “Not really. I thought I’d hate it at first, but after working here awhile, I realize it’s not so bad.”
Pop’s face broke into a wide smile. “I’m real happy to hear that. Someday, when I’m too old to do this anymore, maybe you can take over the business.”
Wayne shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know about that. I’ve been thinking I might want to do something else.”
Pop’s eyebrows furrowed. “Are you still wishing you could farm? Because if you are, and you think you’re up to it, I can let you have a few acres of land and see how it goes.”
Wayne shook his head. “I’m thinking I might want to move to Arthur, Illinois, and stay with Uncle Ezra and Aunt Evelyn awhile. Maybe Uncle Ezra would be willing to teach me something about the woodworking trade.”
Pop’s mouth formed an O. “I had no idea you were thinking of leaving home. I thought you were happy here.”
Wayne gripped the piece of deer hide in his hands so hard his fingers began to ache. “Happy? Pop, I haven’t been happy since I lost my leg!”
“You need to give it more time, son. Healing, emotionally and physically—that’s gonna take some time.”
“That’s why I want to move away and leave all the memories behind.”
“What about your leg? Don’t you think you need to stay close to your doctors until it’s sufficiently healed?”
“I’m sure there are plenty of good doctors in Illinois who can take over my case.”
Pop dropped the piece of deer hide he’d been working on onto the workbench and massaged the bridge of his nose. “You can’t run from your past, son. It won’t solve a thing.”
“I wouldn’t be running. I just need a fresh start.”
“What about Loraine and your plans to be married? Have you spoken to her about the idea of moving to Illinois?”
Wayne shook his head. “I’ve told you this before, Pop—Loraine and I will not be getting married. She’s moving on with her life. In fact, she’ll be going out to supper with Jake this evening.”
Pop continued to rub his nose. “So that’s the reason you want to go away. You’re still in love with Loraine and can’t stand the thought of her seeing someone else.”
Wayne offered no reply.
“If you’re in love with her, then you shouldn’t let her go.” Pop made a sweeping gesture of the room. “If you keep working here with me, you can make enough money to support a wife. There’s no reason you and Loraine can’t be married like you’d planned.”
“Even if I could provide a decent living for a wife and family, I’ll always be handicapped, and I don’t want to be a burden.”
“I’m sure Loraine wouldn’t see being married to you as a burden. For goodness’ sake, Wayne, there are folks with worse handicaps than yours, and many have gotten married and lived a normal life.”
“There’s nothing normal about losing a leg.” Wayne couldn’t keep the bitterness from his tone. “Besides, Loraine doesn’t love me anymore. She used to love Jake before he went to Montana, and I’ve seen the way the two of them look at each other.” He slowly shook his head. “I won’t stand in the way of their happiness, and I won’t hold Loraine to her promise to marry me just because she feels sorry for me now. I’ve made up my mind to leave, and I plan to contact Uncle Ezra next week.”
Pop clasped both of Wayne’s shoulders and turned him so they were eye to eye. “I can’t keep you from going to Illinois, but I think it would be best if you waited until your mamm gets her cast off and is able to take over the cooking and household chores again.”
“Loraine and some of the others in our community are helping out. Mom doesn’t need me here for that.”
“That’s true, but your mamm’s been an emotional wreck ever since your accident, and breaking her leg has only added to her frustrations.” Pop blew ou
t his breath as he whacked the edge of his workbench with his knuckles. “I think it would put her over the edge if you took off for Illinois right now.”
Wayne stared at the workbench, contemplating his father’s words. As much as he needed to get away, he didn’t want Mom to feel any worse than she already did. Pop was right; she hadn’t been the same since the accident. No one had, really.
“All right then, I’ll wait until Mom gets her cast off and is getting around well enough on her own, but then I’ll be heading for Illinois.”
“You won’t say anything about these plans to her now, I hope. It would really upset her, you know.”
Wayne shook his head. “For the time being, I’m not going to mention it to anyone else.”
***
Loraine peeked out the kitchen window, watching for Jake’s buggy to come into the yard. She could hardly believe she’d agreed to go out with him this evening. Would it be like old times, or would she feel stiff and uncomfortable eating supper with him at Tiffany’s? They used to go there a lot when they were dating—sometimes with other couples, sometimes just the two of them. Their times together had always been relaxed yet exciting. Back then, Loraine had believed that she and Jake would eventually marry. Now she wasn’t sure what she wanted or how she felt about much of anything.
Is going out with Jake tonight what I really want to do? she asked herself. Or am I only going out with him because Wayne wants me to? Why does Wayne want me to go out with Jake, anyway? Could he really have stopped loving me, or is he just feeling sorry for himself and thinking this is the best thing for me?
“Are you watching for Jake?” Mom asked, stepping up to Loraine.
“Jah, and I’m feeling a bit naerfich about going out with him this evening.”
Mom gave Loraine’s arm a gentle squeeze. “Don’t be nervous. Jake’s so pleasant and easygoing; I’m glad you’re seeing him again.”
“He is easy to be with, but I can’t forget the promise I made to Wayne.”
“He broke up with you, Loraine. That means you’re no longer bound by your promise.”
Loraine blinked against the tears that threatened to spill over. “Can we please change the subject? I’d rather not talk about this anymore.”
“Jah, sure. I need to get supper started for me and your daed anyway.” Mom went to the refrigerator.
“I think I’ll wait out on the porch for Jake,” Loraine said.
“Oh, okay. Have a good time, and tell him I said hello and to come by again soon for more pie and coffee.”
Loraine nodded, grabbed her jacket and bonnet, then scurried out the door. She’d no more than taken a seat on the porch swing when a horse and buggy rolled into the yard. Only it wasn’t Jake who climbed down from the buggy—it was Ella.
“I went over to the Lambrights’, thinking you’d be there,” Ella said when she stepped onto the porch. “I found Aunt Leah there, fixing supper for them instead.” She scowled at Loraine. “I was shocked when Ada said you weren’t there because you were having supper with Jake this evening.”
Loraine nodded. “That’s right. He’s taking me to Tiffany’s, and he should be here any minute.”
Ella grunted as she plopped down beside Loraine. “After the way Jake hurt you before, I don’t understand how you could even consider going out with him now.”
Loraine gripped the armrest of the swing, hoping to gain control of her emotions. It seemed that every time she spoke to Ella these days, they ended up in an argument over Jake.
Ella bumped Loraine’s arm. “Can you explain why you’ve ignored my advice and accepted a date with Jake?”
“I enjoy being with him. And he’s apologized for what he did.”
“Puh!” Ella’s nose crinkled as though some foul odor had permeated the air. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it once more, that fellow’s not to be trusted. How do you know he won’t run off again?”
“I don’t know that. There are no guarantees in this life.”
“What about Wayne? Does he know you’re going out with Jake?”
“Jah, he knows, and he seems to be perfectly fine with the idea.” Loraine blew out her breath. “In fact, he actually said I should go.”
“What?” Ella’s eyes widened. “You’ve got to be kidding!”
“No. Not only has Wayne said several times that it’s over between us, but the other day, he came right out and said he thought Jake and I should get back together.”
Ella sat several seconds, rubbing her chin and tapping her sneaker against the weathered porch floor. “I can’t believe it. It doesn’t make sense that Wayne would want you and Jake to get back together.”
“It makes sense if Wayne doesn’t love me anymore.” Loraine swallowed hard, hoping she wouldn’t break down in tears. “And he obviously doesn’t, or he wouldn’t be trying to push me and Jake together, now would he?”
“I don’t know. I mean—”
A horse whinnied, and Loraine turned to look toward the driveway. A buggy rolled in. The door on the driver’s side was open, and she could see Jake sitting inside with one foot hanging out the opening. He had always liked to ride in his buggy like that, even in colder weather.
She watched as he pulled alongside the barn, but instead of getting out and tying his horse to the rail, he just sat there.
“Jake’s here now, so I’d better go,” Loraine said, rising to her feet.
Ella jumped up from the swing. “Look at him—he’s just sitting there like a bump on a log. Isn’t he coming up to the house to get you?”
“Maybe he thinks there’s no need since I’m out here waiting for him.”
“That’s baremlich! If he wants to take you on a date, then the least he can do is come up to the house and get you.”
Loraine started off the porch, but Ella grabbed her arm. “Don’t you dare go out there!”
“Why not?”
“You’ll look overanxious, and it won’t teach Jake anything about proper manners.” Ella’s nose wrinkled. “That fellow is so into himself, which I just don’t understand, since it’s not the way he was raised!”
Irritation welled in Loraine’s soul as she looked Ella in the face. “I am not Jake’s mamm, and it’s not my place to teach him good manners. Besides, I think you’re wrong about Jake. He’s kind and helpful and not at all into himself.”
Ella’s eyes squinted into tiny slits. “If you go out there, I’ll never speak to you again!”
Loraine sighed. “Don’t be lecherich. When we were little girls and you didn’t get your way, you used to threaten not to speak to me. Don’t you think it’s time for you to grow up and stop trying to control every situation?”
Ella’s face flamed. “I’m not being ridiculous or trying to control every situation. I just care about you too much to stand by and watch you get hurt by the likes of him.” She stared across the yard, where Jake still sat in his buggy. “But if you want to ruin your life, then go ahead; don’t let me stop you.”
Loraine took a step forward, but halted. She didn’t want Ella to be mad at her, but at the same time she didn’t want to keep Jake waiting. Maybe if she didn’t rush out to his buggy, he would take the hint and come up to the house to get her. On the other hand, if she did go out to him, she’d never hear the end of it from Ella, even if she had threatened not to speak to her again.
***
Jake shifted on the buggy seat, trying to decide what to do. He wanted to go up to the house and see if Loraine was ready for their date, but with Ella standing there, it might be best to let Loraine come to him. The last time he’d talked to Ella, they’d ended up in an argument. He didn’t want to risk that again. At the same time, he didn’t want to offend Loraine. He’d worked too hard at gaining her trust to ruin things now.
Gathering up his courage, Jake hopped down from the buggy and started for the house.
When he stepped onto the porch, he smiled at Loraine and said, “Are you ready to head to Topeka?”
She
smiled. “I’m more than ready.”
Jake glanced over at Ella and forced a smile. “Wie geht’s?” he asked.
“I’m doing fine. I was at the Lambrights’ and decided to stop by here and see Loraine for a few minutes before I went home.” She turned to Loraine and gave her arm a little squeeze. “Think about what I said, okay?”
Loraine gave a quick nod, stepped off the porch, and hurried toward Jake’s buggy. It made him wonder if she was as anxious to get away from Ella as he was. At least this time Ella hadn’t said anything mean to him.
He helped Loraine into his buggy and went around to untie the horse. When he climbed into the driver’s seat, he noticed Loraine looking over her shoulder with a worried expression.
“Is everything all right?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’m just worried about Ella. She’s been trying to be everything to everyone ever since her bruder died, but sometimes she’s just too pushy.”
“You won’t get any argument from me there.” Jake snapped the reins and directed his horse onto the main road. “Now, can we forget about Ella and concentrate on the two of us having a good time this evening?”
Loraine smiled. “That’s exactly what I plan to do.”
CHAPTER 33
“The fried chicken here at Tiffany’s is sure good,” Loraine said, then took another bite and savored the delicious taste.
Jake smiled. “Jah, but not nearly as good as yours.”
Loraine’s cheeks warmed. “Danki.”
“I mean it, Loraine, you’re really a good cook. That bread you baked for Ada the other day was real tasty.”
“I think Ada must have liked it, too, because she ate most of one loaf.” Loraine’s eyebrows squeezed together. “Of course, she’d never say it was good or give me a compliment for anything. I’ve come to accept the fact that she’s probably never going to like me.”
“That’s too bad. I guess she doesn’t know when she’s met a good person.”
Loraine shrugged and forked some mashed potatoes into her mouth.
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