by Shirley Jump
“I’m not any kind of hero at all,” he said, then he turned to the engine, started the motor and headed for shore. Before the storm in the air, and the one in his heart, came roaring in to ruin the day.
Chapter Ten
The shiny black Cadillac swung into Ray’s driveway with a low purr. The engine shut off, then Anna Lee emerged from the air-conditioned leather interior, wearing her Sunday best on a Wednesday and the usual scowl that accompanied any detour from the genteel side of town.
Clearly, this was the first sign of the apocalypse—her mother had come to visit. Meri sighed, put down her coffee cup, then pushed through the screen door of the guest cottage and out onto the porch. “Momma. What are you doing here?”
Anna Lee swatted at the air, frowning at the cloud of gnats swarming around her hundred-dollar-an-ounce perfume. “I raised you with enough manners to answer when your mother calls you.”
Her mother had tried twice to reach Meri, but she’d let the calls go to voice mail. Maybe it was cowardly, but she just didn’t want to deal with Momma’s criticisms right now. “I’ve been busy.”
Anna Lee’s lips pursed. “Well, now you’ve made me drive all the way over here just to talk to you.”
“It’s not like you had to go to the other side of the moon, Momma.” Though, given the number of times her mother had ventured to this side of town, it might as well have been in another solar system. “Grandpa Ray was Daddy’s father, and it’d be nice if you visited him once in a while. Check on him.”
Anna Lee fanned at her face. “Can we go inside? Out of the bugs and this heat?”
Meri nodded, then led the way into the guest cottage. Grandpa Ray was napping, and Meri doubted he wanted to be woken by a visit from his daughter-in-law.
Jack hadn’t been around since the fishing trip yesterday. As the storm raged outside last night, Meri had tried to concentrate on playing gin rummy with Grandpa Ray, but her mind kept straying to Jack. To what he was hiding.
Every time she brought up Eli or the war, Jack threw up a wall. Maybe he was keeping something from her, or maybe he was just doing his level best not to rekindle anything with her.
If that was so, then why had he kissed her? Dared her to go skinny-dipping? And why couldn’t she—who kept saying she wasn’t interested in him—seem to put Jack from her mind for more than ten seconds?
“Meredith Lee, please be a hostess and provide your mother with a beverage. This infernal heat has me positively parched.”
Meri led the way into the kitchen, ignoring her mother’s sigh of disdain at the small, rustic quarters, then poured two glasses of lemonade. She handed one to Anna Lee, then sat across from her mother at the tiny kitchen table. Whatever had brought Anna Lee out here had to be important, but Meri defaulted to small talk instead of asking her straight out. “How is the gazebo coming along?”
“Done, and not a moment too soon. I had to get the workmen to start on the kitchen.”
“You’re redoing the kitchen? Again?”
“I entertain, Meredith. That requires constant upkeep and refreshment of my home.”
It took some doing, but Meri managed to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “I think I have some gingersnaps, if you’d like something to eat.”
Anna Lee waved that suggestion away and made a disapproving face that said she’d expected a daughter of hers to offer better than store-bought cookies. “I am not staying long enough to dine. I merely wanted to ask you to a party at the house.”
Meri sighed. So this was the big thing that had dragged Anna Lee down to the lake. “Momma, I don’t want to go to some stuffy party with people I barely know. I’m happier here, out by the lake, with the birds and the fish and yes, even the bugs.”
Anna Lee pursed her lips again. “It would serve you well to make some new connections, and restore old connections.”
“For what?”
“For finding employment, of course. I don’t see you getting married anytime soon—” another frown for that one “—so you need to have viable employment. I know a good number of—”
“I have a job, back in New York. One that I’m returning to.” As soon as I can get myself to pick up my camera again. As soon as I stop seeing that night through the lens.
She was the one who kept telling Jack to move on, when she needed to do the same herself. Starting with establishing a better perimeter between herself and her mother.
“I’m sure you could find better employment here, among old friends.”
“I told you, I have a job.”
Her mother sighed. “And what job would that be? Because I have never heard you speak about a career or any viable means of employment, Meredith Lee.”
“Because you never asked, Mother.”
Silence filled the space between them, seemed to ice the lemonade still in their glasses. Outside, there was the far-off sound of a chain saw, and the constant chatter of birds.
“What do you do, Meri?” her mother asked, the nickname a clear peace offering.
“I’m a photographer,” Meri said. “A really good one. I even had my own exhibit at a gallery in SoHo. A travel magazine bought several of my photos of the city, and they offered me a job, starting next month.”
“Meredith, taking pictures is not a career. It’s a hobby. You had a career all lined up years ago and—” Anna Lee waved her hand “—then you just flushed it away.”
Meri jerked to her feet. The chair screeched in protest. “Career? I never wanted to be a model. That was something you chose for me. Just like you chose all those pageants and dresses and hairstyles and every single thing I said and did from the day I was born. For once, I wish you would realize that I am a person with ambitions and dreams of my own, not some mannequin you dress up and parade around.”
Her mother reached for her glass, calmly picked it up and sipped at the lemonade. Then she set the glass back on the table and folded her hands in her lap. “Are you serious about this photography thing?”
Meri swallowed a sarcastic retort. “Yes. Very.”
“Then I would like to ask you to come to the party this coming weekend—” her mother put up a finger to head off Meri’s objections “—and photograph it. It’s a fund-raiser for a local charity for young girls, and perhaps we can use your pictures for post-event publicity.”
Was her mother finally seeing her as something other than a dress-up doll? Finally taking her daughter’s wants and needs into consideration? If so, Meri would be a fool to dismiss this olive branch. She sat back down. “I can do that.”
“That would be wonderful.” Anna Lee rose and gave her daughter a smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me, too,” Meri said. Maybe this was the beginning of a change in her relationship with her mother. Meri hoped so.
She walked Anna Lee out the door and onto the porch. Her mother turned and gave her a small hug. “And please, Meredith, be sure to dress appropriately,” Anna Lee whispered in her ear. “These are very important people and I won’t have you showing up...disheveled.”
“I’ve been dressing the way you wanted me to all my life, Momma.” Meri gave her a tight smile. “Why would I stop now?”
* * *
Jack paused on the path and saw the shiny black Cadillac back out of Ray’s driveway. Meri stood on the porch of the guest cottage, watching the car leave, her arms wrapped around herself.
He told himself not to get involved. Not to get close to her. Because when he did, it only brought the specter of Eli into the picture. But his feet didn’t listen to his brain and before he knew it, he was emerging from the grassy path that finished off the wooded trail that led from his house to Ray’s.
“You okay?” he asked.
She started. “You scared me.”
“Sorry. I thought you’d hear me
tromping through the woods.”
“You? You’re quiet as a mouse. Must be all that military training.”
“Yeah.” He looked away as he said it. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about the military or what it had trained him—and not trained him—to do. “You okay?” he asked again.
“I tell myself that I won’t let her upset me, but every time...” Meri shook her head and swiped at her eyes. “Every time she does. Damn it. I’m a grown-up. I shouldn’t care what my mother thinks.”
“All kids care about that. I think it comes with the birth certificate.”
She gave him a watery smile. “I know, but I still wish it didn’t upset me. I just keep hoping she’ll change. Clearly, that’s not a word in my mother’s vocabulary.”
He’d met Meri’s mother more than once. A stern, disapproving woman who rarely smiled and had nothing but lectures for her only child. His own home had been warm and rough-and-tumble, with three boys born within four years of each other. He couldn’t imagine growing up under Anna Lee’s thumb.
“It is in yours.”
She gave him a sad smile. “Only because I gave up. Do you know why I suddenly got on the pageant wagon with my mother? I fought it for so many years, then when I got to be a teenager, I decided to go with it, to try my hardest and maybe then, I thought, if I won this title, or that title, my mother would finally see me, and realize that I was more than just a contestant. She’d quit trying to parade me around, and she’d want to spend time with me, in someplace that didn’t have a stage and a panel of judges. But in the end, it didn’t matter if I won every title in the country. She didn’t want a daughter. She only wanted a blue ribbon winner. Like the horses in her stable.”
“She’s the one who’s losing out, Meri.”
Meri let out a gust and waved at the empty driveway. “Tell her that.”
He closed the gap between them and settled his hands on her hips. “I only need to tell one person.”
“Who’s that?”
“You.” He cupped her chin. “You are amazing, Meredith Prescott.”
She dipped her head and looked away. “I’m nothing out of the ordinary.”
“You are more than out of the ordinary. You always have been.”
She paused, the words taking their time settling into her mind. “Thank you, Jack. You always know how to make me smile.”
The moment extended between them, forging a bond, a tether. Every time he tried to distance himself, he ended up getting closer to her. He needed to shift this from a tender moment to something else, something with distance. He let her go and took a step back. “You should probably do something this afternoon, something that will make you forget all about your mother’s visit.”
“Something like what?”
“Tell me something else on that list of yours. Remember? That list of things you wish you did when you were young and never did.”
The tension eased in her face, her shoulders. “Well...we already went fishing. The ground’s still too wet for camping. Um...” She thought a second, a finger on her lip, which had him wanting to grab that finger and kiss those lips. “Okay, this is going to sound silly.”
“I promise not to laugh.” He held up three fingers on his right hand. “Scout’s honor.”
“When were you a Boy Scout?”
“From ages seven to nine. Then Luke got us kicked out for eating all the popcorn we were supposed to sell for a fund-raiser.”
Meri laughed. “That’s something I could see Luke doing.”
The unspoken message—Jack wasn’t the fun one, Luke was. Jack had always been serious, single-minded. It had served him well in the military on missions, but in real life...not so much. “So tell me your silly idea.”
She hesitated. “Okay, but remember, you promised not to laugh.”
He held up the three fingers again. “Solemn word.”
“I want to get one of every dessert from my aunt Betty’s bakery and have a giant gorgefest picnic.”
He remembered seeing her with that cupcake a couple weeks ago. She’d looked as if she was in heaven. It had been a sweet—no pun intended—window into what made Meri happy. “Every single one?”
She nodded. “Every single one. Do you know how many times I fantasized about eating my fill of cookies and cupcakes when I’d do a pageant? How much I wanted to just run out of those ballrooms and dive headfirst into the first donut shop I saw? Plus—” she took a step closer to him and pointed a finger at his chest “—I missed the apple crumble at your mother’s house the other night. I need my dessert.”
“Are you saying that you fantasize about desserts?”
The wind between them shifted, and the resolve he’d felt a second ago to not get involved, to stay platonic, dissolved. He thought of that kiss they’d shared—that one amazing kiss—and how much he wanted another, and another after that. A little teasing, a little flirting...it couldn’t hurt. Could it?
“Well, not just desserts.” A sexy smile curved up one side of her face, and he wondered if she had felt the same shift, if she was thinking about that kiss as much as he was. “There are other decadent things I fantasize about having...and doing.”
A fire roared to life in his gut. It took everything he had to keep himself from dragging her off to the nearest flat surface after the way she said decadent. “Decadent like...what?”
“Hmm...I might need a cupcake to answer that question.”
He shifted closer to her, his gaze on her lips. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a tease?”
“I’m a woman in need of sugar,” she said, then gave him a flirty pout. “I’m not above using my feminine wiles for a little chocolate.”
“How about I, uh, run into town and bring back the desserts? You get the picnic together.” Hell, about now he’d run to Jupiter and Mars for what she wanted.
“You’d really do that for me?”
For the way she was looking at him right now, he’d fly to the moon and back. “It won’t take long. Just keep thinking chocolate—”
She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. “Mmm...”
God help him. “Cake.”
Meri licked her lips and he bit back a groan.
“Whipped cream.” He drew out the last two words, then trailed a finger along her lower lip. She opened her mouth against his finger. His groin ached. He exhaled a long, shuddering breath. “Extra whipped cream.”
“You’re feeding my fantasies, Jack Barlow.” Dark desire filled her eyes, and the world seemed to close to just them. It had always been like this—he and Meri treading on the edge of something undeniable.
He thought of all the fantasies he’d had about her in the last couple of weeks. The nights he had lain awake, knowing she was only a mile away, probably sleeping in something skimpy with the window open and the breeze off the lake washing over her skin. How he’d pictured sliding into her, dipping his head to take one of her nipples in his mouth while she arched against him and he drove them both over the edge. “That’s my goal, Meri Prescott.”
“I’ll be waiting, then.” She pressed a kiss to his finger, then stepped back.
Jack dashed back to his truck, excited as if he was sixteen again and about to go on his first date, and roared down the road to town. By the time he reached Betty’s Bakery, his heartbeat had slowed and reality set in. He’d volunteered for this trip—alone.
For months, he’d been driving by the bakery, always with the intent of stopping in, of going up to Betty and George and explaining what had happened. The closest he’d come was the day Meri was there, and he’d finally walked through the door. But in the end, he’d left without saying what he needed to say.
The hand-painted sign in the window was still turned to Open. No other cars were parked in the angled spaces outside the shop.
Jack parked the truck and sat there, the keys in his hands.
Eli used to say that the only way to beat the monsters in the closet was to talk about them, Meri had said. Whatever demons you are holding in here are going to keep on haunting you until you talk about them.
He pocketed the keys, climbed out of the truck and went into the shop. The bell over the door let out a happy little jingle as he entered. His gaze didn’t go to the desserts in the case, though, instead it lingered on a pencil drawing tacked to the wall. In the window to the right hung the single gold star flag. Jack swallowed hard and fought the urge to flee.
“Jack Barlow! So nice to see you!” Betty came out from behind the counter to greet him with a warm, generous hug he didn’t deserve.
“Good afternoon, Miz Delacorte,” Jack said. He stepped out of her embrace and tried to work a smile to his face. It didn’t work.
“It’s so nice to see you home, safe and sound. Though I will admit that seeing you makes me miss my boy something fierce.” Her eyes misted, and her smile wobbled. “I’m glad you were there with him.”
“Miz Delacorte...” Jack shook his head. What was he supposed to say? I wasn’t there for him when he needed me? I led him in the wrong direction, and that got him killed?
“Now, don’t you start feeling bad that you’re the one who came home. The Lord has His plans, and it’s not for me to say why or what for. For whatever reason, He needed my Eli home in heaven, and at least I know up there, my sweet boy isn’t scared or hurting or anything.”
Jack’s gaze flicked again to the pencil drawing. Guilt clawed at him, the panther he had tried to avoid for so long becoming bigger, stronger, meaner. Jack was the reason that this wonderful woman’s son was cold in the ground instead of here with her. Jack had been in charge—and Jack had failed as a leader. He hadn’t just failed his troops, he’d failed his best friend. “Miz Delacorte, I’m sorry about Eli. I...” Again, the words clogged in his throat.
“I can see this is upsetting you.” Betty gave his chest a little pat. “And I’m sure you didn’t come here to talk to me about things that are over and done. So what can I get for you?”