by Mina Carter
She was the first, like always, to break the embrace. "Hi."
Matt had been a steady presence in her life especially since he had moved into the foreclosed house a few miles up the road a couple of months back. He was always checking on her and fixing things that went wrong in her house. She was thankful to have him in her life even though every time she laid eyes on him, her heart ached for her dead husband.
"We'll pick my mom up on the way." He stood aside to allow Jane room to walk out of the house. "Looks like your neighbors are moving out," he commented.
Jane looked up. A large moving truck was parked outside of the house directly across the yard from hers. "The Johnsons are moving," she said in disbelief.
"Looks that way."
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson had been the best neighbors Jane could have asked for. They were an older couple and had moved into the house a few years ago where they planned to spend their retirement. After Jack passed, Mr. Johnson was always mowing Jane's lawn, and Mrs. Johnson was always bringing over casseroles and pies. The couple had an extensive library and had spent a small fortune in Jane's store. Jane found it odd that they would be moving without telling her since they had grown so close over the years.
"Are you ready?" Matt asked, bringing her back to reality.
Jane nodded and followed him down the sidewalk to the car. She decided that she would investigate the Johnsons' moving decision when she returned.
Matt opened the car door for her, and she climbed inside. Once he was behind the steering wheel, he started the engine. The car pulled away from the curb, and they cruised down the road towards his mother's house.
"So how has it been going with the store lately?" Matt asked.
"It's been okay." The book sales had been slowly decreasing as e-books became increasingly popular. In an attempt to increase her customer base, Jane had added a small café, which had helped significantly. She had a group of regulars, four older gentlemen, who she had deemed the coffee club. They drank more coffee and ate more bagels than she thought humanly possible. The local book club was a big plus as well. She was constantly ordering multiple copies of best sellers to fulfill the book club's demands.
"You know if you need help financially ---"
Jane put her hand up, stopping him. "Matt, I appreciate the offer, but things are fine. The café has really helped over the past few months."
He nodded. "Okay. But you know you can ask me for anything."
Jane glanced at him and smiled. She did know that Matt would do anything for her, and she appreciated his offer. "I know. Thank you."
He pulled the car into the driveway of his mother's house. Jane climbed out of the passenger's seat and sat in the back, so that his mother could sit in the front. Margaret walked to the car. "Oh, Jane, you could have stayed in the front."
"It's all right. I want you to be comfortable."
Margaret smiled widely. "You're always so thoughtful, Jane."
When everyone was in the car and the doors were shut, Matt pulled out of the driveway, and they headed down the road once again. The cemetery was only a few miles away, and Margaret chatted the entire time.
The Bedford Valley Cemetery sign came into view, and Jane felt a wave of anxiety wash over her. She had been putting off the visit to Jack's grave for far too long, but she realized in that moment that she still wasn't mentally ready.
Matt turned onto the blacktopped road situated between two brick pillars. He took the road to the left and drove over the steep hill. Jane stared out at the numerous tombstones littered through the grass. Her heart began to beat a little faster as the car turned left onto the narrow road at the top lined with tall pine trees. Memories of the night Jack died were fresh in her mind, and she tried to suppress them. It didn't seem possible that an entire year had passed when it felt like time had completely stopped the night Jack died.
Matt parked in front of a large stone mausoleum, which sat on the right. As everyone climbed out of the car, Jane closed her eyes and held onto the door for a moment. The memory of Jack's funeral came flooding back. She had felt so numb on that day, unaware of her surroundings. She still didn't know how she had gotten through that day. It was an entire year later, and not much had changed. No one had been arrested nor charged for Jack's murder, and the thought haunted her at night. His killer was still out there living, and Jack was gone. It wasn't fair, and she just wanted to know why. Why Jack?
Margaret and Matt started toward the grave, and Jane followed slowly behind. The tombstone was down a set of cement stairs on a grassy slope and at the end of the second row. Jane's legs felt heavier with every small step she took. Matt stopped walking and looked back at her. When she caught up to him, he held out his bent arm. She placed her hand around his arm, thankful for the support. They walked slowly, and eventually caught up to Margaret.
"I planted miniature roses," Margaret commented.
Jane stared at the blooms of tiny white roses. Then her eyes ventured across the name Jack L. Walker etched into the black, reflective gravestone. She tightened her grip on Matt's arm, and he glanced down at her.
Margaret leaned down and pulled out a few weeds that had sprouted up around the roses. Then she placed her hand on top of the tombstone. "We miss you, Jack. You left this world just like your father --- too soon."
Several minutes of silence passed as the three of them huddled together beside Jack's grave. Wiping tears away, Margaret said, "Well, I'm going to go back to the car." She turned to Matt. "Let's leave Jane alone for a little while." She gave Jane's shoulder a light squeeze. "We'll see you back at the car, Jane."
Margaret walked back towards the car, and Matt reluctantly walked away, but lingered in the distance.
Jane stared down at the tombstone. "Jack," she whispered. "I miss you so much. You were the only person I knew and the only person I loved." She swallowed hard against the lump forming in her throat. "I don't know how much more I can take. I feel so empty inside. My memory hasn't come back, and perhaps it never will."
She stared at his tombstone. Everything that she could not and would not feel on the day of his funeral rushed to the surface. She couldn't wipe away the tears fast enough. Feeling lightheaded, she quickly grasped onto the tombstone. Within seconds, Matt was at her side. "I think that's enough for today," he said, placing an arm around her for support. "Let's go back to the car."
Jane nodded and allowed him to lead her back to the vehicle. Margaret was leaning out of the car door with a concerned look on her face. "Did you faint, dear?" she asked.
Jane shook her head. "No. The fainting spells aren't nearly as bad with the medication I'm on."
"That's good to hear."
Matt helped Jane into the car and then went around to get in the driver's seat. They left the cemetery and drove back towards Margaret's house. Margaret glanced at Matt. "I think now is a good time to tell Jane about this weekend."
Matt nodded in agreement. He stared into the rearview mirror at Jane. "Everyone is going to the lake house."
The lake house was a half an hour away from Bedford Valley. Jack had taken Jane there several times when they were together to get away from the world. It was a beautiful and peaceful place.
Margaret cleared her throat. "You are part of our family, Jane, and we want you to be there."
Jane hesitated. "But the store ---."
Matt interrupted her by saying, "I'm sure Ashley could cover for you, couldn't she?" He glanced at her in the mirror again. "Besides, Uncle Don is going to be there. He just got back from his trip to Alaska, and I'm sure he's going to have a lot of stories to share."
Uncle Don was smart, funny and a jack-of-all-trades. He had always made Jane feel welcome and always had the funniest and tallest of tales to tell.
"You can't say no to a weekend with Uncle Don," Matt said, grinning.
Jane chuckled. "No. I guess I can't."
Margaret clasped her hands together and smiled. "Great. Matt will pick you up Friday afternoon."
On the way to Jane's house, Matt said, "My mom really loves you. You know, she thinks of you as the daughter she never had. She told me that."
Jane nodded. "Well, I think of her as the mother I never had." Or the mother I don't remember she silently corrected. Her mother could be out there somewhere, but unless Jane regained her memory, she would never find her.
Perhaps sensing her tension, Matt reached over and squeezed her hand. "Hey, even if you never remember your real family, you have all of us. We are your family, Jane." His fingertips skimmed over her wedding ring. He glanced down at the ring, but didn't say anything.
Matt pulled the car into her driveway and parked it. They both stepped out, and Matt walked Jane to the front door. She fumbled with her purse and retrieved the house keys. She felt exhausted even though she had been awake for less than three hours. It was already an arduous day for her, and she didn't know if she was ready to face the rest of it.
Jane's hands shook as she attempted to fit the key into the lock. Matt's hand grasped hers to hold it steady. "It's okay," he murmured.
She stared down at his hand over hers. "I can't believe it's been a year," she whispered, her voice breaking.
"I know," he replied.
She looked up at him. "Thank you for being there for me, Matt."
He gave her a small smile. "Of course. I'll always be here for you." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, his fingertips lingering on her cheek. He cupped her face in his palm, the same gesture that Jack had always made. Her lips parted as her breathing quickened, and he grazed his thumb over her bottom lip.
The keys dropped from her hand. Neither one of them made a move to pick them up. Slowly, Matt leaned down, his lips meeting hers in a heated kiss. She felt memories of Jack come rushing back to her as he kissed her deeper. It was so easy to let go and pretend that Jack was still with her. But that's all it was --- pretend.
Quickly, she pulled back from him. "I'm sorry," she apologized. The kiss felt so right, but also so very wrong at the same time. She had never kissed Matt since that time in the kitchen when she thought he was Jack.
"You don't have to be sorry. I'm not," he stated simply.
She bent down and picked up the dropped keys. Hurriedly, she unlocked the door and stepped inside. She stared out at Matt, not knowing whether she should invite him in or not.
He made the choice for her. "One day I hope you can let him go. Until then, I'll be waiting for you." And with that, he turned and left.
Jane released a ragged breath and closed the door. She pressed her back against the wood and slunk down to the floor. Her hands were still shaking. She knew how easy it would be to replace Jack with Matt, but she didn't know if she could ever love Matt the same way.
Eventually, she stood and walked upstairs to change into more comfortable clothing. When she was done, she glanced out her bedroom window and watched the moving truck pull out from in front of the Johnsons' house. "Hmm," she said, while reaching for the phone. She dialed the Johnsons' number, which she had memorized, and waited. Three beeps signaled, and an electronic voice said the phone number had been disconnected.
Jane took the phone away from her ear and stared at it. She pressed the end button and redialed the phone number. She put the phone to her ear, and once again, she received the same response. She put the phone down and walked over to the window. The house looked deserted. Jane folded her arms across her chest. She couldn't imagine why the Johnsons would just pick up and leave the house that they had planned on retiring in and not tell her about it.
She wondered if someone else would be moving in, when and whom it would be. The questions left her feeling anxious, and she decided not to let them bother her. She had too many other things to worry about in her life, and a new neighbor definitely was not one of them.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
BUSINESS WAS SLOW on Monday, and the day dragged on. It was a cold spring day, and no one seemed to be venturing into the small town. Ashley, who was Jane's assistant manager, hummed to the song playing over the speakers in the store. On the first day the bookstore was open, Ashley had come in looking for a job. Needing all the help she could get and not knowing anyone in town, Jane had jumped at the opportunity and hired her on the spot. They had become extremely close friends since that day, and Jane was glad that fate had brought Ashley into her life just when she needed a friend.
"How was your weekend, Jane?" she asked.
Jane shrugged. "It was okay."
"Nothing new?"
She thought for a moment. "Well, the Johnsons moved out. Quite unexpectedly actually."
"Where did they move to?"
"I don't know. They never said a word to me about it. Their phone is disconnected, and they didn't leave a number. So I guess I'll never know."
"That’s weird," Ashley said. She walked around the store, dusting here and there with a soft cloth. Ashley was young and beautiful, and she knew it. Her shoulder-length blonde hair swayed with her as she moved. "Maybe they don't like goodbyes," she suggested.
"Yeah, maybe," Jane said, but she wasn't so sure. She glanced at the clock. It was three o'clock. "Since it's so slow, I might head home a little early."
Ashley said, "Okay. See you tomorrow."
Jane packed up her belongings and walked out the front door. She walked down the sidewalk that led to the housing development. As she neared the house, she could see two large moving trucks in front of the Johnsons' former home. She slowed her pace and stared at the antique furniture being handled with kid gloves by the movers while they carried each piece from the trucks and into the house. The furniture was very gothic and made of rich, dark wood.
Jane stopped at her mailbox and opened the lid. As she reached in for the mail, a black Ferrari pulled up in front of the moving trucks. The windows were tinted so dark she couldn't even see who was inside. Jane stared at the car, curious to see what her new neighbors would look like. Judging by the furniture and the car, they were definitely rich.
The car door opened, and a tall gentleman stepped out. He wore a black leather jacket, and he tucked his head down as he headed into the house quickly. She waited for more car doors to open, but none did. A bachelor, she thought to herself.
The only detail she got about him was his black hair. She gathered the mail from the box and closed the lid.
Jane spent the rest of the evening being a nosy neighbor and checking out the window more often than she should have. The movers hung dark curtains on every single window of the house, which made Jane instantly think the owner was trying to hide something. The man certainly looked dark and mysterious, so maybe he did have something to hide.
The trucks eventually left, and only the Ferrari remained. Jane didn't know if she liked the idea of a single guy living next door. But then again perhaps he was a player and would have a different girl over each night. Jane scowled at the thought.
Before long, it was after ten o'clock, and she found herself yawning. She headed up to her bedroom, changed, brushed her teeth and closed the curtains. She climbed into her side of the bed, rolled onto her right side and stared at the empty space beside her. Sighing, she rolled over onto her other side and went to sleep.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
JANE AWOKE SUDDENLY the next morning. Her heart pounded against her ribcage, and her sharp, quick pants filled the quiet bedroom. She wiped away a strand of damp hair that had been stuck to her wet forehead.
After a few moments, she was able to get a grip on reality. She had awakened from a terrible nightmare. The wicked dream left her with a feeling that she had lost someone. But the someone wasn't just anyone --- it was someone she used to love very deeply.
She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and allowed her toes to crush into the plush white carpet below. Deep down she knew the person wa
sn't Jack, but somebody she knew before she had lost her memory. And that thought scared her most of all --- that a man, whom she loved, was out there and had no idea how to find her. Her past was completely erased from her mind, but that didn't mean that it was erased from the people who loved her and missed her.
She stood and walked over to the window, pulling the drapes aside and allowing the sunshine to cascade onto her. She breathed in and out slowly, allowing her heart to return to normal rhythm. She glanced next door and saw the Ferrari was still sitting in front of the house.
As she opened the rest of the curtains, she wondered if she would get a chance to meet her neighbor. She went to the bathroom and showered. After the shower, she put on her makeup and did her hair. She planned in her mind that she would take some baked goods next door after work that evening and find out why the Johnsons had moved so suddenly. Surely the person who bought their house would know.
From the closet, she picked out a pale pink dress that hit just above her knee. She slipped into a pair of nude heels, grabbed her purse and headed downstairs. She pulled on a light jacket and left the house. Her eyes wandered towards the neighbor's house, and she noticed the car was gone. She must have just missed him.
Within a few minutes, she was at the front door of the store. She unlocked it and entered. Her finger flicked on the overhead lights, which illuminated the large space. She dropped her jacket and purse behind the counter, opened the register for the day and started brewing the coffee. Ashley arrived a few minutes later. Jane wanted to tell her about the new neighbor, but she didn't get a chance. At eight o'clock on the dot, the coffee club arrived and kept them both too busy to have any chitchat.
While Ashley was busy with the café side of the business, Jane did the tedious task of going through the inventory and order forms. She hadn't minded the paperwork after Jack died, because it kept her mind preoccupied for hours. But as the months passed, she began to dread it more and more.