by Mina Carter
Grinning, he looked down at her. “I am.”
She smacked the top of his head. “You wouldn’t have had a chance of getting away with this if I wasn’t … stop looking at me like that, Joseph.”
“Like what?”
“Your eyes, Joseph. I’ve never seen anything even nearly as powerful.”
“What do you see?”
Love. She saw love in his eyes. It was true, and so pure. It was unshakable. Unconditional. She swallowed the lump in her throat. It was everlasting. She wasn’t about to say it. He’d stared at her like a man completely, helplessly in love with her.
Smiling, he winked. “You’re a coward.” He moved up her body and kissed her lips. At first, she resisted the urge to kiss him back, but there was no fighting her hunger for him. It was a slow, passionate kiss that just went on and on. He was being gentle with her, but she felt the enormous desire.
When he stopped kissing her and rested his forehead on hers, he stared into her eyes. “Tell me what you see when I look into your eyes.”
“Love. I see the love you have for me.” Her swallow was audible. “It’s endless. But it’s not real. Everything ends at some point.”
“Not my love for you.”
She believed it, but she wasn’t going to admit it. She didn’t want to be responsible for him ending his life. An early death was her fate, not his. One way or another she would find a way to convince him to live after she was gone. For now she just wanted to forget about death, so she decided to change the subject. “He got you good.” She reached up and gently placed her fingers over the fading scar of the gash he’d received across his cheek.
Joseph shrugged. “He was fast.”
She nodded. “Too fast. They’re stronger in mind and body. I’ve never had one able to mess with my head.”
He kissed her one more time, and then he moved off her and stood up. “Maybe you’ve just never been aware of it.”
“I would’ve …” she snapped but stopped short. It had only made her mad because he was right. How many times had she failed to sense a vampire’s presence in her mind? Maybe she wasn’t as guarded as she’d believed.
As if instantly realizing he’d caused her to doubt herself, he set out to fix it. “I’m sure that I’m wrong. These are no ordinary vampires.”
“Don’t do that. You very well might be right. There’s a chance they’ve been messing around in my head this entire time and I just didn’t notice. Eli was able to get into my head too. I can’t figure out how he was able to do it. And don’t ever lie to me to make me feel better.”
“It’s not a lie. Something was off with the scent of their blood. I’ve never detected it before.”
“What do you mean?”
“Their blood was mixed with the blood of my kind. But there’s something else. I don’t know what it is.”
“Does it have something to do with Demetri’s blood? Maybe they’re using his too.”
“No. Demetri has lost his way and has allowed them to use his ancient spells, but to give them his blood would be to give them the true essence of his power. Over a period of time it would give them our immortality.”
“What would it matter? They’re already immortal, aren’t they?”
“Our power is far greater. These vampires are tainted. They’re of utter darkness. There is no good in them. As a result their power is inferior.”
“These vampires? Don’t tell me that there’s another type.”
“Many of my kind would deny it, but some aren’t evil.”
“How can you say that? They’re killers. They kill humans.”
“Not all kill. You met Jake. He’s a vampire,” Joseph said,
“Holy shit. You left Lee Anne with him.”
“She’s a vampire too. Trust me, she wants to be with him.”
“So they don’t take blood from humans?”
“They all must feed on human blood.”
“You don’t make sense.” Then she realized why he said that they weren’t killers—Joseph wasn’t a human. He didn’t view it as murder. She couldn’t help but to wonder what he considered humans to be.
“You’re wrong. Some don’t kill when they feed. Many times once they find their mate, they only feed from each other. It becomes an erotic pleasure.”
“That’s …” She was going to say gross, but how many times had she secretly fantasized about tasting Joseph’s blood? Of course, it was wrong. She would never do such a thing … and yet, she clearly remembered biting his shoulder in his office. “It’s sick.”
“It’s what they are. To them, tasting each other’s blood is the greatest act of intimacy when they’re making love.”
“You’ve allowed a female to bite you and drink your blood?” As odd as it was, the thought made her jealous. Actually, it made her mad as hell.
Grinning, he winked. “Not yet. But I’m game for anything you want to try.”
It was time to change the subject again. “What day is it, Joseph?”
“Saturday.”
“Oh, God. The charity dinner.”
“They’ll understand if we aren’t there.”
She started to get out of bed. “The girls are going. I’m not missing it.”
He smiled that smile that was exceptionally sexy and naughty all at the same time. “Well then, we need to take a shower.” He pulled his boxers down.
“What are you doing?”
“I already told you,” he said. “We’re taking a shower.”
Wrapping her sheet around her body, she started to get out of the bed, but a wave of dizziness forced her to stop to prevent herself from falling flat onto her ass or, worse, losing the sheet.
“It’s okay. There’s no need for you to push yourself to do too much too soon. You won’t need to get up on your own. When I said we need to take a shower, I meant that I plan on having you join me in the shower. I’ve no problem with helping you wash up. And there’s no need to thank me. It’ll be my pleasure.”
“No.” She shook her head adamantly. “Absolutely not. No way. I’m not getting into the shower with you.”
“Yes,” he murmured, his dark, hungry gaze sliding slowly over her body slowly, “you are.”
“You’re not taking a shower here.” Lifting her chin, she eyed him guardedly. “And you’re definitely not taking a shower with me. I don’t need your help. Go home, Joseph.”
“You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not asking you to share with me. I know how sharing anything goes against your stubborn nature. Since it was my idea, you will be taking a shower with me in mine. Not me taking one with you. You are not in pain any longer, but your body hasn’t completely healed. Plus, it’s been a long time since you’ve been on your feet. I would feel terrible if you became lightheaded and fell in the shower and I wasn’t there to catch you.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re wasting time arguing with me. I’m not leaving you to take one alone. I plan on keeping an extra close eye on you.”
He was entirely, bare-assed naked. She intended to look away but found herself staring at him. He looked good, in a tempting, ‘I am going to hell for lusting over him, but I don’t care’ sort of way. Yep. She was headed to hell. He was way too damn sexy to look away. When she finally managed to tear her eyes off his body and looked up to meet his gaze, she knew her face was bright red.
“I know why you’re worried, but I assure you there’s no reason for it,” Joseph said.
“What are you talking about?”
“You want me. You’re afraid you won’t be able to control yourself once we are in the shower together. And since you’re still a bit under the weather, you know you’ll never be able to keep up with me.”
“You want me to kill you, don’t you?”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “Not at all. You need a shower. I need a shower.” Moving too quickly for her to even consider trying to stop him, he ripped the sheet off her. Staring down at her, he shook his head. “It’s worse tha
n I thought.”
She covered her body with a pillow. “What?”
He smiled. “Your reflexes are slow. You’re weaker than I thought. Come on, now. We have to get ready for the charity dinner.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not taking a shower with you.”
“I’ve already told you that we don’t have to go. I’ll send a nice big check.”
“I’m going.”
“Then you need a shower.” He lifted her up and cradled her in his arms as he shifted them to his bathroom. “Relax. You don’t need to worry. I would never do anything to you that you’re not ready for, and I know you’re not ready to make love with me. Soon. But not now. Even if you begged I would not make love to you right now.”
He gently placed her on her feet in the shower, and warm water sprayed over the back of her head and body. It felt so good she closed her eyes and tipped her head back to allow the water to wash over her entire body. When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her. Her breath caught in her throat. He looked agitated. No. It was pain. It was deep. “What is it?”
Grabbing the nape of her neck, he pulled her toward him and bent his head. As his mouth settled on hers, the atmosphere in the shower electrified. At first the kiss was tender, and his touch was gentle. Then the kiss deepened into something wild. He took savage possession of her lips, pouring every ounce of his need, his explosive desire into the kiss.
Mia felt his body hot and hard against hers. His desire filled her, burned deep inside her. She gave herself to him, to his touch, to his kiss.
Joseph lifted his head a few inches. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me? What you’re doing to me right now?”
“I suspect it’s the same thing you’ve done to me.” She whispered, “It’s the same thing you’re doing to me, to my body right now. Joseph, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t fight it. I want you. My body burns for you.”
“I burn for you too,” he whispered against her lips. “Every waking moment, every inch of my body burns for you, but now is not the time.”
“Why?”
Then, contradicting his statement that it wasn’t the right time, he kissed her again, his solid body pushing her against the wall and beneath the spray of hot water. His hands were everywhere, touching her, exploring and inflaming every inch of her flesh.
* * *
Wanting, needing to take possession of her body and soul, he felt savage. He realized it was the dragon. The fact that side of him continued to want Mia as deeply as he did was shocking. Normally, the dragon only responded to a demon’s true mate. Though he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything, as a lycan she couldn’t be his mate.
“Joseph.”
He heard uncertainty in her voice, saw it in her eyes. He bent his head and lowered his brow onto hers. “Enjoy the shower. I told you that now isn’t the time.”
“I need … Joseph, there’s something I want you to know about me. I’ve never been with a man.”
“Huh?” Not exactly the most eloquent response, but he was surprised. Lycans were known for being very sexual.
She immediately shot him a dirty look. “I’ve never had sex.”
He’d hurt her, and that shattered his heart into a million pieces. “I’m sorry, angel. It was a bad response. I just wasn’t expecting this to be your first.” He grinned. “And only.”
“Just leave.” She turned her back to him and stuck her face under the spray of water to hide her tears of humiliation. “Go home, Joseph. This was a mistake.”
He really was an idiot. He stared at her back for a moment. He wondered if he should just leave. No. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. “Mia.”
“Why are you still here? I told you to go.”
“Mia.” From behind he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad.” He bent his head to kiss the back of her neck. “I’m amazed, and maybe even shocked, you would even consider giving such a wonderful gift to me.”
He was holding her so close she could feel the hard length of him against her lower back. “Joseph.” Secretly, she was afraid. She knew what to expect, but not really. “The truth is I’ve never had a desire to be with a man. I always thought something was wrong with me.” She paused. “But the first moment I saw you at the cemetery with Caylee and Haden, my body just came to life with desire. It made me mad and very confused. It was unfair, but it’s why I’ve tried to hate you. I’ve always wanted you, but I don’t feel right about being with you when I know that I’m dying.”
He turned her around and framed her face between his hands to force her to maintain eye contact with him. “I told you that I won’t allow you to die.”
“Please stop.” She couldn’t look at him. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I don’t want you to lie to me. Never you. It’s not working. We both know that it’s not working. And now we know why. It was never cancer. If the poison doesn’t kill you, I want you to promise me that you will continue to live your life when I’m gone.”
“That is a promise that I will promise to never make to you, but don’t worry. I’ve no intention of allowing the poison to kill either of us.”
She needed a distraction and grabbed her shower gel and a sponge.
“Oh no, you don’t.” He took the sponge from her. “I’ve waited a very long time for this pleasure.”
“You’ve given me extra time. You’ve taken my pain.” She tipped her head back to look up at him. “But I can feel death. I’m tired, Joseph. My body is tired. I don’t even know how to describe it. The fight is over for me. If Emily was out of that terrible place …”
“Stop. You don’t need to fight anymore. I will fight for you. I will carry it. I know it’s taking time. You’ve been sick for a very long time.” He gently moved the sponge over her shoulders and down her back. “It won’t take much more time for my dragon to work out a cure. I know it’s hard, but please don’t give up on me.”
“I can’t stand knowing that when you’re healing me taking my pain, that you’re actually taking it into your own body.”
“It’s an honor. A pleasure. And you forget that I took the same poison. If I can’t find a cure we both die.”
“I’m mad at you for that. And pain isn’t a pleasure.”
“We’ve discussed this before. I am patient, so I’ll explain it again. To take the pain for you, to carry it for the woman I love and adore, is a great honor. Knowing that I can give you relief is the greatest pleasure.”
* * *
She knew there was no changing his mind or stopping him. “I don’t like it.”
She always loved the feeling of the sponge and gel on her skin, but it was nothing like the way it felt when he was moving it over her body. His hands were powerful, capable of doing serious damage, but they were so gentle on her.
“Promise me you won’t give up.”
“I won’t,” she lied. She’d already given up. He was immortal. It gave her hope that the poison wouldn’t kill him. For her, however, it was only a matter of time before she died. She was fine with it. She’d made peace with it. Her only hope was to kill Mary Tate before she died. And that Joseph would move on and find his true love.
“I need you. I won’t allow you to give up.” It was a fact. It wasn’t a topic open for any argument. “I couldn’t live without you. If you’re not willing to live for you, live for me.”
She smiled. “You’re trying to manipulate me.”
“I am.”
“It’s rude.”
“Is it working?”
“Maybe a little.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Okay, I lied. A lot. But I understand that we’re different. No matter when I die, I will die before you. One day, no matter where this leads, I will be in the ground while you carry on with a new life, a new love.”
“It’s not going to happen. You’re my only love, my only life. Yes, you will eventually die, but I won’t continue without you. I couldn’t. Touching you,
being with you, is my greatest dream that has come true. I wasn’t supposed to be seen at the cemetery that day—I was on guard duty—but I couldn’t let you get away without touching you.”
“That’s not a shock. You seldom follow rules.”
“I felt everything all at once. I took your hand, and my heart was filled with such joy and sadness. I knew that you’d silently suffered for a very long time. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that you were my world. My life. I knew you were all that mattered.”
His words were sweet and, she suspected, well thought out, but she knew the truth even if he wouldn’t admit it. She turned to face him. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to be alone, Joseph. And there is no one I would rather be with.” There was a catch in her voice. She heard it and knew he did too.
“I love you, Mia. Only you. Forever you. I will never make a promise to you I can’t keep, and I promise you we will be together for forever. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”
She bit her bottom lip. She knew that she’d made him uncomfortable by talking about death, by reminding him that she wouldn’t be around. She wanted to believe in being with him for forever, but she couldn’t. It hurt too much. “I’m sorry. I should be stronger. I shouldn’t unload on you.”
“No. Don’t ever be sorry for telling me how you feel about anything. This is our story. This is how it is meant to be. I love you, Mia.” He held her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. “You will never be alone. No matter what happens, wherever you go, I will go.” He lowered his voice, and she knew he was using his great power to cause his words to be engraved in her soul. “You will never be alone, angel.”
“Never?” She giggled, but managed to force herself to frown. “Gee. Does that mean you’re going to be hanging around a lot more?”
“Don’t you dare be mean right now after I’ve bared my soul to you.” Smiling, he tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Since we’re going to make love in the very near future, I think it is only right if you at least try to be nice for a little while.” His hand dropped to her shoulder and turned her back toward him.
She looked up at him. “I’m always incredibly nice to you, Joseph.”