Not A Good Look

by Nikki Carter

  “You want me to help?” I ask.

  “I’d rather you just do it for me, Sunday.”

  I laugh out loud. “You’ll never learn that way. It’s just a little math.”

  “A little math? You know I’m not good at this stuff.”

  “Well, Big D thinks you need to graduate.”

  “Big D is not the boss of me. I signed a record deal with Epsilon Records, not him.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying he works for me. Once I blow up and get a few number-one hits, I’m gonna let him know what’s up.”

  I lift my eyebrows and shrug. “Well, until then you should just try to do your homework. It’s not that bad.”

  The front door opens, and it’s my mother. The somber expression on her face makes me think that something is seriously wrong. I know before she says anything that it has something to do with Carlos.

  “Hey, girls. Y’all doing homework?” my mother asks as she tosses her bag over onto the couch.

  “I am,” I reply. “But I don’t know what Dreya is doing.”

  “Homework, too, Auntie Shawn. Stop being a hater, Sunday.”

  “Did you get that college application turned in?” my mother asks.

  It really irritates me when she asks anything concerning school. She doesn’t have the right to ask me about Spelman.

  When I don’t reply, my mother claps her hands together and says, “Well, I know you’ll get in. Maybe this music thing will take off. If Dreya has a hit record, maybe she can help you get a deal, too.”

  This just completely burns me up! My mama is now pinning my hopes and dreams on Dreya’s suspect music career? Doesn’t she need to be coming up with her own plan B? Especially since I’m sure Aunt Charlie has some dreams that she’s trying to relive. I could see her trying to go to cosmetology school to be a licensed lace-front wig applicator.

  It’s a good thing I’ve got enough sense to get my own thing popping. Waiting for a come-up from Dreya is like holding out for Oklahoma to become the hip-hop capital of the world. It ain’t gonna happen!

  Dreya rolls her eyes. “People always trying to come up off of someone else’s success. Why don’t y’all let me get mine first, before y’all start planning the hookups?”

  Dreya snatches her books up from the table and storms down the hallway. I hope she doesn’t think I’m trying to come up off her success. She needs to remember how everybody helped her. I’ve never heard of someone getting a big head so fast. She signs a record deal and starts acting ridiculous.

  I follow her to the bedroom. “Why you always gotta be negative, Dreya?”

  “Because I don’t want to be here. Y’all can’t force me to be here in this cramped up little Cracker Jack box of a house. When I get my advance check, I’m getting my own apartment.”

  “Who is gonna give a seventeen-year-old an apartment, Dreya? And you never had a problem with our house until you got this record deal.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m sick of it now. And I’m sick of this homework.”

  I shrug. “You need to chill before you mess up your big break.”

  “Don’t you mean I need to chill before I mess up your big break? Sounds like you and your mother are already spending my money.”

  I turn to leave before I really say something to hurt Dreya’s feelings. I could tell her about how they would’ve been homeless without my mom stepping in. Or I could remind her how my mother is the one who bought her and Manny’s Christmas presents for the last two years. Or I could call to mind how she wouldn’t have any new school clothes if it wasn’t for my mother breaking her back on her mail route.

  But I don’t say any of this, because that would cause drama.

  Suddenly, I feel like I need some air, so I pull on my sweater to go for a walk.

  Once I get outside, I pull out my phone to call Sam. “What you doing?” I ask when he answers the phone.

  “Nothing. Was about to head to the studio.”

  “Oh, then never mind.”

  “Why? What you trying to do?”

  “Wanted to see if you wanted to hang.”

  “Sure. Wanna catch a flick or something?”

  “Nah, not in the mood for a movie.”

  Sam chuckles. “Okay, then, what do you suggest?”

  “How ’bout we go to the aquarium?”

  “The real aquarium? Like where the fish live?”

  I giggle. “Yeah. I like fish. You gotta problem with it?”

  “No. I’m on my way to scoop you. The aquarium it is.”

  Since I know it’s gonna take Sam at least half an hour to get here, I continue my walk to blow off some steam. Dreya’s made me real hot, so the walk and the peaceful fish will help me calm down.

  As I hit the corner of our street and get ready to cross, a fly whip comes speeding past me. It’s got to be a 1980s Cutlass Supreme with shiny chrome wheels and a spoiler. It’s candy apple red and has to have about ten coats of wax, as shiny as it is. Nice.

  The car does a U-turn in the middle of the street and rolls up next to me. When the window rolls down I see it’s Truth.

  “Hey, Sunday. Wanna take a ride?”

  I shake my head. “Nah. I’m waiting on Sam to come pick me up.”

  “I thought your cousin told me you like old cars.” He’s got this look on his face like I hurt his feelings.

  “I do like old cars. I love them.”

  “Well, then you’ve got to take a spin in this, baby. It’s off the chain. It used to be my uncle’s car before he died, but I had it restored with some of my advance money.”

  “You got advance money and didn’t buy a new car?” I ask. “Most of these rap dudes out here are riding Bentleys and SUVs.”

  “I ain’t got it like that yet. Plus, I’d still drive old cars, ’cause they ride smoother. You sure you don’t want to take a spin?”

  “I guess. A short spin. Sam is on his way.”

  Truth grins and unlocks the passenger door. Manual locks. Sweet!

  I jump into the front seat and close the door. It even smells like an old car in here. Broken-in, soft leather seats and an Armor All shined-up dashboard. I close my eyes and inhale.

  “I’m jealous,” Truth says.

  “Of what?”

  “You got in here and inhaled, like you were sniffing up your man or something. I ain’t never seen you that pumped when I walk in the room.”

  I burst out laughing. “Truth, why would I be pumped when you walk in the room? You are not my man.”

  “Still, I’m hot, so you should be pumped whether I belong to you or not.”

  “You’re hot? Wow. You just sounded like Ray J talking to his crowd of chicken groupies.”

  Truth laughs, too. “Hey, don’t hate on Ray J. I love that show. Ole boy be havin’ them chicks scrappin’ to be his girl. And he don’t even want none of ’em in real life.”

  “I’m sayin’!” I agree. “Don’t they know VH1 be giving out three show deals and whatnot? How could the girl on the first season think she was gonna last? He’s got like two seasons to go.”

  “Yeah. That’s almost a fantasy right there, though.”

  “What’s a fantasy? To have a bunch of hoodrats scuffling over you?”

  Truth shrugs as he hits the gas. “Nah, just to live in a mansion and do whatever I want, when I want. I’m gonna live like that, for real.”

  “Well, you’re on the right track. After this tour, and that appearance on 106 & Park, it’s gonna be solidified.”

  “Yeah. Truth and Drama ’bout to be on the map.”

  Truth speeds past my house and keeps going. “You coulda dropped me off,” I say.

  “You don’t like my company?” he asks.

  “You’re cool.”

  “So what I gotta do to get next to you?”

  I blink a few times, wishing I had never gotten in this car. I’ve been trying to stay cool with Truth, without paying any attention to his game. I’m not interested, but I th
ink if I come across too hard, he might find a reason to get me booted off the tour.

  “Stop playin’,” I reply. “You know you’re into Dreya. She’s been your girl for a minute.”

  “She don’t have to be my only girl.”

  I chuckle. “So you one of those greedy cats, huh? Well, I like to be number one, and I don’t share.”

  “I didn’t think you would. But I’d be willing to bounce your cousin to the curb for you.”

  “Boy, stop. That’s not the truth. I thought that’s why you picked Truth for your rap name, because you’re always honest.”

  He turns another corner too fast. It makes one side of the car lift off the ground. “I am being honest,” he says. “I wanted to talk to you the first time I saw y’all group.”

  “So how’d you end up with Dreya?” I ask.

  “You seemed like you weren’t trying to holla, plus Dreya was pushing up on me.”

  “Well, you’re with her now, and she’s got mad love for you. What I look like, playing my cousin like that?”

  Truth smiles. “So you sayin’ that if me and Dreya wasn’t together, you’d be my girl?”

  “I don’t know, but we don’t even have to think about any of that, because you and Dreya are together. So can you please drop me back off at my house so I can meet Sam?”

  “That dude is corny,” Truth says.

  “Don’t be a hater. He’s not corny. If it wasn’t for Sam and his tracks, you might not have a record deal.”

  “Yeah, that’s for real, but the dude is still corny. But you must like corny guys, because you all over him.”

  “Please, I’m not all over him. He’s all over me. Don’t get it twisted.”

  Truth drives back down our street and stops in front of our house. Dreya is standing on the walkway with her arms folded. She has a real heated expression on her face as I step out of the car.

  “Hey, baby,” Truth says out of the window. “Hop in and let’s take a spin in my new whip.”

  She looks me up and down as I walk toward the house. “What you doing riding shotgun in my man’s ride?”

  “Oh, girl, stop tripping. You’re the one who told him I like old cars. He was just letting me check it out.”

  “That better be all it was,” Dreya says as she walks away.

  Oooh. I’m this close to telling her how her man is riding hard, but it’s not even worth it. We’re about to go on tour and Sam will be here in a minute to take me someplace I really want to go.

  As I walk toward the house I hear Truth say, “Girl, your cousin ain’t got nothing on you. Come on here and let’s ride.”

  I’m glad he’s not my man.

  A couple minutes after Truth pulls off, I see Sam’s SUV rolling down our street. My lips curl into a smile all by themselves, because it’s been a week since I’ve seen him. He’s been busy getting things ready for the tour, and we’ve only been able to communicate by texting and on Facebook.

  I jog up to the car and let myself in before he has time to jump out and hold the door. He always does that, but he can save his steps today. I’m ready to roll out.

  “Hey, Sunday,” he says cheerfully. “What’s up with this aquarium stuff?”

  “I love it! Seeing all that underwater wildlife is off the chain.”

  “Well, I hope you enjoy yourself. I got us some passes online before I left the house. It said you get to see all of the attractions and a 3-D movie or something.”

  “Yay!” I squeal. “You got the premium pass. But that’s like thirty-five bucks. Thank you!”

  “Well, I hope you brought some money for snacks,” he says. “I’m tapped out.”

  “Even though I’m saving every penny I make, today I can do the snacks.”

  He laughs. “Oh, I forgot you’re saving for your education! We can eat off the dollar menu at McDonald’s. I’m not trying to mess you up!”

  “Well, can we go to McDonald’s first? I’m kinda hungry.”

  “Me too,” Sam concurs.

  I start to tell Sam about Truth pushing up on me earlier, but I don’t know how he’ll react. It’s not like Sam and I are an official couple or anything like that. We’re not even talking. It’s just a friend thing for now.

  He pulls up to the McDonald’s drive-through window. “What do you want?”

  “A double cheeseburger and some fries.”

  “Nothing to drink?”

  “Yeah, a small orange drink.”

  Sam orders food for the both of us, drives to the second window, and hands the cashier a ten-dollar bill. “That’s sweet. Two meals for under ten bucks!”

  “Right, but when you blow up you better take me out to eat for real.”

  “Okay, so what do you mean by for real?”

  “You can take me to Justin’s or Pappadeaux or Sunday brunch at Pascal’s. Any of those will do.”

  He laughs out loud. “You greedy, Sunday.”

  “No, I’m not! Just hungry. Give me my cheeseburger.”

  We smash our dollar meals on the way over to the aquarium, which is like a fifteen-minute drive. Everybody says that everything is twenty minutes away in ATL, but it’s pretty much true.

  Once we’re through the security checkpoint at the aquarium, I’m ready to roll! I’m so hyped that Sam got the expensive ticket because I get to see everything.

  “Which exhibit you want to hit first?” he asks.

  “My favorite! Cold Water Quest. I want to see the beluga whales.”

  He laughs. “I’m mad that you know the exhibits by heart.”

  “You should appreciate the fact that I’m well rounded.”

  “I do, or I wouldn’t be here with you. Somebody might question my street cred if they saw me bringing you here.”

  “According to Truth, you don’t have any street cred anyway, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

  Sam stops in his tracks. “He said that?”

  “Actually he said you were corny, but who cares? I want to see the whales.”

  “He said I was corny?”

  Aw, man. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that. I thought he’d think it was funny like I did. I didn’t know he’d be standing up here taking it all personal and stuff.

  “In my opinion, Truth is the corny one,” I say, trying to smooth it over. “He’s got this facade that’s not even true, trying to pretend like he’s hard, when he’s just a lame with locs and tats.”

  “I’m not really tripping on him calling me corny,” Sam says. “I’m tripping that he said it to you. Is he trying to wreck my flow? Why would he tell you that?”

  I grab Sam’s hand and pull him in the direction of my favorite exhibit. “Didn’t I just say it doesn’t matter? Let’s go see the whales.”

  Sam gives a little resistance, but then he lets me pull him toward the door to the Cold Water Quest. It’s dark inside, but the water is illuminated so that we can see the habitats of the whales and the area for the African penguins.

  I stand in front of the whale tank, mesmerized like I always am. They are so big, but graceful at the same time. Their movements are almost poetic, and when they talk to one another it sounds like music.

  “Sunday, do you want to go to prom with me?” Sam asks, snapping me out of my trance.

  “Prom? At DSA?”

  “Yes, you know the thing we do at the end of senior year? Everybody gets dressed up in tuxedos and fancy dresses, we get in limos, eat rubber-chicken dinners and take pictures. Prom.”

  I laugh. “Sure, I’ll go with you, but from the way you describe it, it almost sounds like you don’t want to go.”

  “I do. I was just trying not to seem too corny.”

  “Boy, stop. Although it is kind of corny to get a prom date this early. It’s not even winter break yet.”

  He pokes his lips out and nods. “I hear you. But everyone is already asking everyone else. I didn’t want to take the chance that you might end up going with someone else. Like that Romell dude that was over your house.” />
  “I don’t even talk to him like that anymore. Bethany either—she’s foul.”

  Bethany and I haven’t had a conversation since that day she left my house with Romell. It’s crazy, because we stand at the bus stop mean mugging each other instead of having our morning gossip sessions. But I can’t deal with her flip-flopping. And she’s especially been crazy since Dreya got the record deal. It’s like hating to the infinite power or something.

  “Are you going to ask me to go to your prom? Or am I too corny to show up with at Decatur High?”

  “Oh, my goodness. I wish I hadn’t even said that to you. Are you gonna be on that all day? Can we go to the next track, please?”

  “All right, but answer the question.”

  “Yes, please go to my prom with me. We can rock the same outfits to both and save money.”

  Sam throws his head back and laughs. “You ain’t playing about that college fund, are you?”

  “No, buddy. If you hadn’t asked me, I probably would’ve skipped the whole prom thing altogether.”

  “What?” he asks incredulously. “Every girl wants to get her hair done in some big updo, get her nails done, and go to prom. What’s up with you?”

  I point out my swept-to-the-side ponytail, jeans, layered tanks, jean jacket, and Timberland boots.

  “Does this look like a girly girl to you?”

  “No, but you do look like a hot girl.”

  I laugh. “Okay, I’ll accept that. But when I get all that stuff done for prom, the hair and nails and stuff, it’ll only be so that I don’t embarrass you.”

  “My girl can wear whatever she likes to prom and I won’t be embarrassed.”

  “There you go again,” I say with an eyebrow-scrunching frown.

  “There I go again with what?”

  “That my girl stuff. Dude, don’t say it unless you mean it.”

  Sam smiles slowly and pulls me into a hug. “Guess what?”

  “What?”

  “I mean it.”

  He kisses me softly on my lips and makes me believe that he means what he says. And the whales sing like they’re enjoying the show.